Original: October 29, 2017
July 10, 2018
My longest oneshot. Mentions of Logince. And I'm sad now. *curls up*
TW: Character death, angst
He was sad. Depressed, to be more exact. Roman didn't know how long it's been, really. A minute? An hour? A day? A week? A year? He didn't care. He stopped counting ever since.
Yeah, he is Thomas' fanciful side, but that doesn't mean that he is always happy like he should be.
Today was the day he was going to end it all. Once and for all.
°•°
Roman had set everything up. The ropes? Check. The notes? Check. The stool that would probably change his life? Check.
Roman had been preparing for this day ever since the time he'd been called dumb or useless. Of course, Roman knew those were all true. He just accepted it.
Roman took in a shaky breath as he stood on the rope that would kill him, and frankly, he didn't care if he did survive. The other sides wouldn't care anyway.
He took a deep breathe and...
He woke up, screaming. He tried to calm himself down, hoping that the others wouldn't know it was him and thought it was Virgil. Like always.
I knew it, Roman thought, I knew that I couldn't even kill myself just a dream!
Suddenly, there was a sharp knock at the door. Roman shakily drew a deep breathe, trying to calm himself down, reassuring himself that there is nothing to worry about.
He opened the door to see the other's tired but worried faces. Virgil, who was in his bear onesie, looked like he was going to vomit and Patton, who, for once wasn't wearing his glasses, and was (as always) wearing his cat onesie with his jacket (don't ask why), looked really tired but tried to stay awake as much as possible.
But Logan... Oh, Logan, who was wearing his unicorn onesie, looked like he was run over by a truck, which was followed by a war, tsunami, tornado, and hurricane.
His glasses were crooked instead of being straight on his face, his face looked like he was being starved of something, and he was gripping his unicorn onesie like his life depended on it.
"R-Roman? I-Is everything alright?" Patton asked, voice slightly shaking. Probably to get rid of the sleepiness.
"Y-Yeah, I am fine, guys. Hey, you guys should—"
"Roman, you sure? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be screaming in my sleep. Probably shook but that's it," Virgil stated, going paler and paler by the second.
Roman chuckled, trying to (desperately) keep up his façade. "I am perfectly fine, Virgil. Don't need to fret. Anyways, you all should probably—"
"Roman, I know it's you," Logan, who for once didn't look like his usual composed self, was tearing up while he said that. "Do you really actually think that no one can hear you scream at your sleep? I can hear you talk to yourself thinking about committing the unthinkable!"
Roman froze, then smiled. It looked broken. Instead of the usual cheery genuine smile, it was a heartbroken fake smile. "So, you finally found out, huh? To think, you were the logical one."
Saying Patton and Virgil were shocked was a complete understatement.
"P-Please, there has got to be a way to fix this, right?! Right?!?" Patton asked, frantically looking between Logan and Roman.
Logan looked over to the dad trait, a frown evident on his face. Roman look as well, still smiling. "I believe there is nothing that you all will do to change this."
Roman turned around back towards his room. Before the others could protest, he locked the door and it faded.
The others were too shocked to move. The first to break out the trance was Logan. He started crying, not the usual small tears, but he was bawling.
Virgil and Patton finally got knocked back into sense and started to comfort the logical trait.
"W-What j-just h-ha-appen-ned?! I-I-I—"
"I d-don't know, Logan. I-I really d-don't," Patton said, sadly. Virgil stayed quiet, knowing that there would always be someone missing.
"I-I can't believe it! N-No more Disney jokes, n-no more annoying comments about me and calling me nerd, n-no more Roman..."
Logan cried even more, making Virgil and Patton hug him even tighter.
"N-No more cuddles, n-no more goodnight kisses, n-no more movie nights, n-no more I love you's..."
Okay, this shocked the others. Logan? Roman? Dating?
They decided to ask Logan about it next time... or never.
"H-Hey, we'll go through this. All of this. Together," Virgil reassured.
"Y-Yeah, we will. We'll help you!" Patton said, trying to lighten up the mood. It's pretty hard to lighten it because someone of them faded.
W-What about Thomas? What do we say?! He will freak out to know that his creative side left. Oh no, I was such a bad boyfriend! I didn't even know sooner."
Logan rambled about how bad he was, and Patton was trying to calm him down. Virgil looked to where Roman's room was and saw something. A letter.
"H-Hey guys? Did you guys notice this?"
By now, their sleepiness had faded. They looked over to his side and there it was, a letter.
Logan shakily took it and, composed himself and placed his usual stoic face. He said, "I believe the best course of action is to read this when he have informed Thomas."
Of course, the other sides agreed. To say they were dreading for the next day (well, next few hours) was an understatement.
-time skip because... yeah, I'm lazy-
Thomas finally woke up. It wasn't an unusual occurrence (obviously) that he would wake up at 10:00 A.M. sharp.
But today, he didn't feel like doing anything. He shook off the feeling and went on his usual activities.
Wake up. Take a bath. Eat breakfast. Plan. Eat lunch. Film. Eat dinner. Sleep.
As simple as that.
After Thomas did his activities, when he went to plan what was in his video, he couldn't think of any. It seemed like he didn't have any creativity to do so.
"Hey, Thomas. You okay, buddy?" Joan asked, Talyn nodding in agreement.
"Y-Yeah, I'm just okay. I don't think I have much creativity as I used to, you could say," Thomas said, giving his usual smile to his friends.
"Are you sure?" Talyn asked, worry clearly evident in their face. Thomas nodded, reassuring himself and his friends.
After a few minutes, Thomas couldn't think of any ideas. At all.
"You could probably summon your sides?" Joan suggested. "Maybe something is wrong with them."
"Yeah! Like that time with Virgil. Poor boy..." Talyn said.
Confused, Thomas summoned his sides.
"Virgil! Logan! Patton! Roman!"
Virgil, Logan, and Patton popped in, looking nervous. Thomas didn't question it until he looked over to Roman's usual area.
"Hey, where's Princey? I just gotta ask him a question."
"L-Listen, kiddo. It's been a... really rough night..." Patton trailed off, looking towards Virgil and Logan, who were somehow hugging. "A really rough night for us, especially Logan..."
Thomas, who was still very confused, asked, "Is something wrong? Am I the cause of this...?"
"N-No! Of course not. Its just... Logan... We all... Lost someone dear to us..."
Realization dawned over Thomas' face, and horror. "What happened to Roman?"
A strangled cry took all the attention from the room. Logan, who was trying valiantly to keep his face as stoic as ever, finally broke down.
Logan couldn't speak about it, nor even hear about what happened earlier that day.
Patton looked sadly at the trait, and said, "I think its best if we... talked without Logan. Really touchy for him. Virgil, can you accompany him?"
The anxious trait, who was holding the logical one, nodded and whispered to Logan, "We'll go back to the mind, 'kay?"
Logan's only response was a small but audible whimper. It broke the dark trait's heart more. Sadly, he looked over to Patton and gave the parental trait a sad smile and sank down.
Patton looked at Thomas, Talyn, and Joan. He gave them his famous smile. "Hey! So—"
"Patton, what did I say about hiding your feelings?" Thomas scolded.
Patton let his smile drop a bit. "Sorry... Baby steps..."
"What. The. Hell. Just. Happened?!" Joan asked, very worried for their favorite trait of the four.
"Uhm... Do you want me to start from the beginning? It will probably be a mess because I was super sleepy then," Patton joked.
They all nodded in agreement. Patton took a deep breath and explain it all. From when they found Roman to when he... faded. Of course, he didn't mention that the two were dating, just... very close.
Horror dawned the three and Thomas cried. He cried because he just lost someone very dear to him. He cried because it wouldn't be the same.
Joan, Talyn, and Patton comforted him. Joan and Talyn hugging and giving him comforting words, and Patton just stood there because he couldn't try to touch his host (last time he tried, it somehow backfired).
"S-Should I call the others back?"
Thomas nodded, still sad about what happened.
Patton sank down sadly, still regretting all those times he didn't know it was Roman all along. He shook these thoughts away, knowing that he has to be strong. For Logan. For Virgil. For Thomas.
Once he came back into the mind, he saw Logan and Virgil there, still talking silently. Logan had the letters (which were not opened yet) in his hand.
Patton sighed and walked towards the duo. They looked up as Patton said, "We've gotta go back."
Nodding, they slipped back into reality to see the others on the verge, pun intended, of tears.
"I-I'm so sorry, you guys. If I had known, I—"
"But you didn't, it wasn't your fault, Thomas. Sometimes, things happen and that's fine. We just have to learn from it," Logan shrugged helplessly. "Here, we have some notes from him."
Logan passed each note to their respective owners. Patton. Virgil. Thomas. Joan. Talyn. Logan.
They sat down in the middle of Thomas' room. Logan next to Virgil, Virgil next to Patton, Patton next to Talyn, Talyn next to Joan, Joan next to Thomas, and lastly, Thomas next to Logan.
After a moment of silence, Logan said, "So, who wants to read their note first?"
Reluctantly, Joan raised their hand, giving all the attention of the room to them. They opened the letter and started reading out loud to the others.
"Dear my buddy Joan,
Hey! How's life been? I know that it's probably better than mine now. I would probably be dead by the time you read this, or you found these letters (I hope it's the first one).
I know that the others would let you read yours first or you would've offered that's why I would tell this to all of you. I love you all so much, and I wouldn't allow any of you guys to dare do what I just did.
Just remember to be yourself!
With my awesome beauty,
Roman."
"Wow, who knew Roman was still so full of himself even when he was writing this?" Thomas joked, hoping that it would give some good vibe to the sadden room.
"W-Well, that was a good start. Who's next?" Logan asked, trying to not break down for the second time. Virgil, who sensed Logan's pain, placed his hand on Logan's knee, to reassure him (a bit).
It somehow worked because Logan relaxed a bit to the touch.
Patton raised his hand. "I-I'll go next.
Dear Happy Pappy Patton,
I know what your thinking, it's all your fault. This that is happening? Not your fault. I totally deserved this.
You can't change my mind about it because I'm either dead or you found this. I'm still hoping its the first one. Anyway, thank you so much for being there for me. I hope you do stay happy.
From Your Prince,
Roman."
Patton looked away from the note, crying. Everyone was shocked and also close to tears. Who wouldn't? If a jolly person was sad and crying, you would've joined too.
Patton calmed down and slumped back down. Tears still streaking down his face.
"I-I guess I'll go next," Talyn muttered, opening the note that was meant for them.
"Dear Sweet Talyn,
I really appreciate everything you did for me, honestly. I feel a bit happy to know that you are the first one to notice.
Remember, stay lovely and happy.
With All My Sparkles,
Roman."
Even though the message was short, it was definitely meaningful.
"Wait, you were the first one to notice?! I can't believe this has been happening right under my nose! Unbelievable," Thomas said, rubbing his eyes.
"Well, it actually has been happening for quite a while. Like, a couple months?"
"MONTHS?!"
"Umm, yeah. Haven't you guys noticed that he's been acting strange? Like, just a little bit?"
"I suppose he has been acting a bit too happy for these past couple months..." Logan said, still sad about it.
"Who's next? I'm done," they said. Virgil reluctantly raised his hand. Being the literal embodiment of anxiety, he was feeling a whole lot nervous.
"Dear Hot Topic,
I know what your thinking, probably along the lines of 'hey, this prince finally left the building' and 'why did he even do that'?!
I assure you that nothing will change. In a few hours/days, another Creativity will appear, so you don't need to worry about Thomas loosing his creativity.
I hope your sleeping well, and have better dreams.
Will all my sassiness,
Roman/Princey."
By this point, the whole room was sobbing. Patton was soothing Virgil and Logan, giving them some comforting words. Thomas hugged Talyn and Joan, hoping that everything would be alright.
"Guess I'll probably go next, huh?" Thomas said, as he took a deep breath before opening the letter.
"D-Dear Thomas,
How is my favorite host doing? Haha, you're my only host. To be honest, I did enjoy some of our time together.
I'll keep this short and simple. Don't blame yourself because of my death, seriously, don't. I will personally drag you back to earth if you die.
From your Creativity,
Roman."
Silence slowly took over the room. "Well, that was fun, wasn't it? Who's next?"
"I suppose I am the last one, s-so I'll go last," Logan said, looking down as his voice starting to waver and eyes starting to water.
"Logan... You don't have to," Patton said, hoping the others would understand.
"Yeah, Logan. You don't really have to do it because we shared ours."
"No, I want to do it," he said, looking back up, determination written all over his face. Everyone looked to each other, worried about the outcome.
Regarding emotions, Logan was a big mess (obviously, he is the embodiment of logic). He wouldn't ask for assistance unless required to.
Logan opened the letter and started to read the really really long paper that looked like an essay slowly.
"Dear My Precious Logan,"
Precious? Thomas, Joan, and Talyn thought. Are they dating somehow?
They shook these thoughts away for next time when they think Logan is a bit more comfortable to talk to them about it.
Logan took a deep breath before starting, his cardiac muscle feeling all the tension. Virgil placed his hand on the logical trait's shoulder, making him ease up a bit.
"As you are reading this, I can tell that you are thinking that there has to be some logical explanation as to why I faded/killed/however you prefer to calling it.
Actually, to tell you the truth, I have no idea why or how it got me to this point of time. So I will tell you this.
I. Love. You. So. Much."
Okay, surely they had to be dating. Since when? How? These thoughts swarmed everyone's mind.
"I love the way that you would smile when I made a science pun, or secretly smile when Dad makes a really bad pun."
"Daww, you actually enjoy my puns?" Patton said, eyes glimmering with happiness.
Logan rolled his eyes and said, "Maybe just a bit..."
"Ahh! I feel so accomplished. Go read the next part."
Logan rolled his eyes (yet again) and continued to read.
"I love how your eyes just shine when you talk about astronomy. You are so full of knowledge, and you would keep ranting.
I just love how you keep being yourself. I know that our relationship didn't go as you would've planned, but that's life.
I love how you would say that you know what your doing but you actually don't. Don't lie to me, Logan. There are these times that you would claim you do.
I love how you would push your glasses with your middle finger when you got annoyed with anyone of us. Don't think I didn't notice you were trying to discreetly flip us off."
Logan blushed to this. Is he that observant of me?
"Logan, I can't believe you were flipping people off."
"I know, Patton. That is usually when I'm annoyed, and I never get really annoyed with you."
Patton smiled, glad to hear that the logical trait wasn't annoyed with him.
"Just remember this.
I'll quote it from you, Logan.
I'll always be there to a degree."
Ahh yes, that quote. It made Logan's heart ache more than it already is. He relapsed to all those times with Roman, but shook them off. He tried to finish the letter.
"I'll be there for you. Not physically. You all still matter. Don't worry about me that much, guys. Please. I'd rather not have a bunch of people die for me.
It was just my time to go, you know?
Please don't be sad or depressed or anything related to sad. Please. Have I said please enough?
Stay yourself, Logan. That's all I'm asking you to.
Sorry that I had to leave so soon. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
With All My Love,
Your Prince."
The room was in complete silence, that is until someone broke it.
"Hello, I am your new Creativity. I assume you are Thomas, correct?"
Things will never be the same again. All they had to remember from Roman was that he will always be there for them.