Guys,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to see me like this.
I tried getting help, mom and dad. I did. You guys pushed me away, brushed me off. You guys were gone all the time, leaving me alone and refusing to listen when I said I needed to get help. You guys knew I needed it. Did you care? Every day, I asked myself that. I don't think you guys cared at all. You were never there for me.
To my siblings, you guys were kind of there. But you brushed me off, too. You guys tore me down, you guys helped destroy me. Not as bad as mom and dad. No, not even close. Still, you guys never took me seriously or anything. You insulted me and made me feel bad about myself all the time.
Ashton and Calum, you didn't play a big role in this. Just thought I should let you know I miss you guys. Calum, there was always something special for you. Not love, but something. You took my virginity. Ash, you were my best friend for six years. I missed you.
Liam, and Zayn, I hope you two can be happy. Honestly, because you both deserve it. Liam, you were always there for me. No matter what. I love you man. You're my best fucking friend. Nothing came between us. Nothing. You deserve all the happiness in the world. You too, Zayn. You became a close friend. I hope you both can be truly happy. I love you guys.
And, finally, Luke. Luke, I love you. I have since the day I took you to my house after Grant pushed you into the pool. We connected, we bonded. It was so easy. I feel like, if soulmates exist, you were mine. I love you. And I left you because I thought it would help lessen the pain of this. Hopefully, I was right. You're my world, darling. I hope you find happiness. I hope you find a boy and he treats you exactly like you deserve- like the most incredible person in the world. Because you are. And, if I was there, I would. You deserve the world. I love you, always.
I love all of you. I'm sorry for this. I just couldn't handle it anymore. My last straw was when I tried talking to dad about it, he told me to shut up and quit being an attention seeking, selfish jerk. I'm getting plenty of attention now, dad. Only I'm not around for it. And you are.
I hope all of you are happy. I love you guys.
Goodbye.
-Michael.