Chp. 60 “A Much Needed Talk”
I was instantly back in my room, wondering how on earth I could be so stupid as to think someone like Taylor would be coming onto me. I mean she was like 24, which wasn’t really that old, but anyways. She was gorgeous, I mean absolutely gorgeous, and I was probably just some teenage girl that had a lot of power to her. I wasn’t much to her, and she knew I had a girlfriend, so I seemed to be a waste of time to her.
But what about all the stares, and the touches, and the random meetings we had together? And the way she looked at me screamed that she was looking for something more than friendship.
Or was I just losing my mind?
I paced around my room frantically, trying to straighten it up as I also tried to distract myself from the embarrassing thoughts. I looked at the clock then, realizing it was already 9:30, and Avery should be up by then.
She was a morning person.
I ran my hand through my hair nervously, wondering if I should go in there and try to talk to her. I knew she understood I needed space from her, but I never told her how long, and I knew she was going to give it to me for however long I needed.
But I didn’t want to have to be the one to talk to her.
I sat on my bed then, burying my face in my hands as I tried to figure everything out. I felt the want to be with Taylor and possibly apologize for something I had no idea about, and then I felt the need to talk to Avery.
I never realized how depressed I really was until I was completely alone and it was just me and my thoughts. And right now I felt low, and hurt, and betrayed, because I loved Avery, and I had no idea if she really loved me.
Then I heard a light knock on my door, and for some reason I felt my heart beat pick up. It could be one of three people, and one of which I prayed it wasn’t her. Or it could be Max, coming to see if I wanted to work out with him, but then again it was 9:30 and there was no way he was up.
So it had to be either Taylor or Avery, and for some reason I didn’t know which one I wanted it to be.
I walked to the door and unlocked it, opening the door and seeing the familiar face of Avery, and for some reason I was slightly let down. Had I wanted it to be Taylor after all? Or was I just still upset over what Avery did to me?
She looked tired, and her eyes were puffy, which let me know she had been crying. I felt bad, honestly, but she should’ve cried all night knowing what she hid from me for so long. She barely whispered, “Hey, I was wondering if you were up.”
Her eyes slowly took in my attire, allowing her to see I had actually been up quite a while, but she didn’t have to know where I’ve been.
I nodded, “Yea.”
She bit her lip, as if she was afraid to say something to me because I might just lash out at her again. I know I had scared her yesterday, with the whole flickering of the lights and me getting upset and all. She was actually refusing to step any closer to me, and I knew it was because she was afraid, and for some reason this kind of hurt me.
I opened the door fully, giving her access to my room, “I won’t hurt you.”
She studied me a bit more, realizing I was actually fairly calm, and then stepped into my room. She walked through and sat on my bed, looking up at me like a little girl that just got in trouble for coloring on the walls with permanent marker or something. Her big green-blue eyes searched mine, as if waiting for me to question her, but that wasn’t going to happen because I had no idea what to question her about.
All I could say was, “Avery, how could you?”
I watched as my words slammed into her like a crane plowing through a brick wall. She seemed really guilty, and this only furthered my idea that she was the one that set up everything, including Walker who tried to kill me weeks ago.
She spoke softly, “Andrea, it’s really not what you think ok, just-”
Then I couldn’t hold it in anymore, and I let her have it, “Avery, why the fuck would you keep something like this from me? I’m your girlfriend! Or was that just something you used to get into my life and invade my personal information? I trusted you Avery, and now I don’t know if that’s even your real name. How long have you been spying on me? Before we met? When you first started high school with me? When? I want to fucking know! I mean do you even love me? Or was that all a fucking charade too? I can’t fucking understand how you could-”
Her lips sealed my mouth off from finishing my rant, and I felt myself melt into her. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed her and her kiss, and even though I tried hard not to get distracted I knew she was doing it on purpose. Her hands roamed over my cheeks and pulled my face into her, lacing her hands through my hair in the process.
I felt myself getting lost in her touch, and I realized what she was doing. She was trying to distract me from having to tell me the truth.
I pulled back abruptly, “Avery, stop fucking-”
She cut me off again, this time pushing my back onto the bed and climbing on top of me. Her soft hands roamed up my muscle shirt, grazing over my ribs and over my chest. I felt my skin grow hot under her touch, and the more I tried to resist her the more I realized I just couldn’t.
I had missed her touch, and I realized that now while she tried to undress me. My hands continued to struggle against her but she was stronger than she looked, and she pinned both of my hands above my head. I could tell she was feeling much better since the vaccination, and her muscles were strong, stronger than they had been.
Her lips continued to kiss around my neck, and she bit my ear, causing me to shiver under her. I didn’t know what she was getting at by doing this to me but the more she continued the more my mind began relaxing and letting go. She had me wrapped around her fucking finger and I could do nothing about it.
Then all of a sudden I started crying.
I don’t know what triggered it, and I had no idea why I was crying, but I was, and this caused Avery to stop and look at me. Everything seemed to flood back to my mind as the feelings of stress and guilt overtook my emotions. The thoughts of Avery’s dying body flashed through my mind, and how I had almost lost her. Then the moment I had met Taylor and instantly felt an attraction towards her when we were stuck in the elevator together, and also the guilt that came with it. Everything I had suppressed within the last month of my life had flooded back, and the thought of knowing Avery might have lied to me about what we were seemed to be the one thing that hurt me the most.
I closed my eyes tight, trying hard to stop crying but I couldn’t, and I felt Avery’s arms wrap around me and pull me up. I buried my face in her shoulder, sobbing silently as I felt one of her hands run through my hair. She whispered, “Andy… I’m so sorry.”
I couldn’t respond to her, all I could do was continue to cry and try to understand why everything had changed in my life so suddenly. I hadn’t realized the effects of the pressure on me until now, but for some reason I was happy Avery was here, even considering what she had done to me.
She hugged me closer and her lips brushed against my ear in a comforting manner, “Andy, its ok.”
I shook my head into her shoulder, “No, it’s not Avery. Nothing’s fucking ok.”
I pulled back and looked at her, looking into her eyes that were sad. She smiled slightly, whispering, “Obviously, I was trying to show you I loved you and you started crying.”
I shook my head and allowed a slight laugh to escape my lips, which got a bigger smile out of her. I spoke, “Avery… please explain everything to me, because I really don’t understand.”
She smiled weakly and tilted her head, “Ask me something, anything, and I’ll answer to the best ability to make you understand.”
I looked at her, wondering exactly what I should ask her. I should ask her for how long, and what exactly had she told her father? Who was her father anyway? And if Chris, her brother, was in on this whole shitty situation too.
But all I could muster up was, “Did you lie about loving me?”
She smiled like an idiot then, as if she was enjoying this question. It made me slightly uneasy because I didn’t understand why she was smiling like that because it was a serious question, at least to me.
She took my hands and looked down at them, leaning into me as she sighed, thinking of the words to say. She looked up into my eyes and smiled, “I’m going to tell you something ok, but you can’t get mad. I swear to you that this is the truth though, and I’m not making up anything.”
I just looked at her, waiting for her to answer.
She began, “I’ve never had a girlfriend before you. I’ve never even had a boyfriend. You were the first person I’ve ever been with Andy, and I know I told you otherwise but it was because I wanted you to like me and not be freaked out. I knew it would’ve been weird if I would’ve told you I had never been with anyone before, but I’m not saying I’ve never had feelings for people. I’ve just never allowed myself to open up and be vulnerable to someone, it was something my dad and brother taught me when I was young. Then you came along and I felt… different about you, and I started falling in love with you, then I couldn’t help but become vulnerable. I fell in love when I realized you weren’t going to hurt me like my father had told me would happen if I let someone in. You proved him wrong Andy. You’re my first and only girlfriend. I swear on my life that I’m really in love with you, even though that wasn’t the plan whenever I first met you in science class.”
This shocked the hell out of me, but even though she had lied to me about something else, this was a different lie. It made me feel special, a feeling I never really felt until I found out I was different, like with my powers and stuff. That was the only time in my life I had felt different and special, that was until Avery revealed this to me.
I just stared at her in disbelief, not being able to believe she had never been with anyone. She showed no signs of it, even when we had sex, she seemed to know exactly what she was doing, but for some odd reason I trusted her explanation.
I kissed her lips softly, “You promise?”
She smiled, nodding, “I promise with everything in me, Andy.”
Then everything became a little more serious as I questioned again, “What have you told your dad about me?”
Something seemed to break inside because I saw a muscle in her face twitch, and I took this as a really bad sign. This held the possibility that she could in fact be the reason the F.P.S. had their radar on me in the first place, and tried to follow us from Louisiana all those weeks ago.
She sighed heavily, “Andy, I haven’t spoken to me dad in months, I hadn’t even met you yet whenever I spoke to him last.”
I felt a pain in my heart release, and I smiled, knowing she wasn’t the one who had set me up. She was innocent, and finally I felt my heart relax and settle inside my chest. I squeezed her hands gently, “Avery, why didn’t you just tell me about him?”
She looked down, away from my eyes, “Because when I first found out about you yes, I’ll admit I tried contacting him about you, but he never answered my calls. Then I got to know you and Max, and I realized you were good people, not monsters like I had heard from my father. So I stopped calling him, and I listened more to what you two were saying about the F.P.S. and I didn’t want to believe it. I was scared Andy, because after finding out they murdered your father… I just couldn’t, I couldn’t do that to you. Then we started meeting people from the Bureau, and you told me all those things about the government… and I realized you were right.”
I felt my heart tear inside my chest, wondering how much Avery had struggled with the fact that she was hiding a really big secret from me for that long. I was glad she confessed it though, and that I didn’t have to find it out from someone else. I had to give her some credit for coming clean, and I appreciated it a lot.
She hadn’t set me up; she had just refused to tell me her dad worked for the government. She hadn’t tried to kill me after all, and she really did love me.
Then she spoke more serious, “But Andy, when I last talked to my dad, he sounded scared. He doesn’t want to be there anymore but they refuse to let him leave. We have to get him out of there.”
I nodded slowly, hugging her body close to me as I felt another slight sense of anxiety arise in my chest.
“We will, don’t worry.”