Karen's perspective
Don't move, you're awake I kept telling myself. I was too worried. I don't wanna fail. I never did. I never even did want to do this.
Every time I feel sleepy, I feel scared too, I can't sleep or Ill fail, and even though I've already got out of my sleepiness, I'm still afraid of anything that could happen. Anytime. So I just lie to myself, just to keep calm. Shhhh, its okay now Karen, you're awake, its okay now.
I guess I've thought of moving and giving up many times, but I'm still here. I tried to feel my arms, my wrist, still attached to the other metal bracelet, my hand, still holding Trystann's.
I remembered what Trystann told me. He's next to me, right next to me, and whenever I feel scared, or afraid, I just remember what he said.
It makes me feel better.
Ouch! Something bit my leg. I was about to move when I remembered what he told me. Gosh. I almost got paralyzed.
My leg was paining, I wanted to tell it to Trystann, but I couldn't move. I felt him beside me, he's so used to this.
A few moments later a bright light entered unto my sight, even though my eyelids are closed, it just seemed like I woke up at the sun. My eyes opened on itself. I'm sitting down on a pile of gigantic rocks, what am I doing here?
I searched the place, it was empty, just a place full of rocks and trees, there was someone near me, holding a camera.
"Smile," he told me, as soon as I turned my head he snapped the photo. I couldn't see his face, the guy was weird looking, unusual looking, but I couldn't make out who he was 'cause his face was blurry.
I didn't know what to do. I couldn't get down the rock either, I felt trapped like I'm gonna bleed to death if I move because of Ill fall.
You're awake Karen. The voice told me. Now I'm ready to listen to it. I knew that it was trying to wake my senses.
I remembered the reason why I was here. I gotta stop dreaming. No this is enough.
Have you ever felt like you've made the worst choice you've ever done? Well, I'm feeling that right now. It damages me 'cause I remember what Dumbledore said (yeah right Harry Potter)
'It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities'
Well maybe that's it, maybe that's what damages me the most. Now. I believe that choices are truly damaging.
Hear this, if you had to make a choice unto yourself, and you never knew which one you should pick, 'cause maybe you hate them both, or on the brighter side, you like them both.
You didn't want to choose between the two, but you gotta make a decision, but you don't want to 'cause you know that deep inside you, not making a decision is a big decision.
And making or not making one will both damage you. So you don't know what to do. You wanted to give up but you can't. Why? 'Cause you still gotta make a choice.
So you just choose randomly, and you chose the wrong one, you get damaged, you get worse, what else could go wrong? It's you have to make another decision.
You can only choose between two, one choice will hurt someone but will benefit you, and the other will hurt you and benefit someone, or maybe one will hurt you and the other will hurt someone else.
If you're cruel then making a decision is easy for you to like breathing, but if you're not then you gotta suffer.
And that's what decisions are, something that will destroy your insides making you pick between something even though you don't want to.
Maybe I've made the worst decision.
But now is the time to make another one. Will I jump down, get bruised and wounded to find Trystann? Or will I just stay here and wait for him to see me so I don't get hurt at all.
I made a decision, it wasn't wrong, it wasn't right, it's in between. So I jumped. My right arm hit the large rock from my lower side. It bled, but bleeding now never felt more convenient than ever, it was just like the blood rushing down with a bit ache.
I suppose now I know that I didn't sprain my ankle, it just hurts, of course, it would, I just jumped from a twenty-eight feet rock.
I gasped, covering my wound to subside the bleeding, even just a little, my hands were now covered in blood.
I'm getting livid.
This is a misadventure.
I walked slowly on the hot sand, a bit more I approached a tree then I put both of my arms to its branch, upward.
Someone told me before that it was to stop the bleeding but not so much. I never thought I'd be doing this 'cause I was milk-livered before.
I got dizzy, too dizzy that I feel like the earth is a broken computer screen, wriggling all around, or maybe that I'm in the eye of a psychedelic.
Then the ground became to crumble, everything was shaking, the rocks were moving and shaking each other the trees were swaying, except for the one I was holding onto, and the ground that I was stepping on, they remained normal.
The world in my eyes was shaking harder, or more violently.
Then the world spins, and when I tell you that it spins, I mean that it spins literally, like I'm in a washing machine, or maybe in the position of a ceiling fan's blade.
It hurt my eyes, so I closed then trying to endure the pain, the pain was from inside like the veins were being pulled, or maybe my eyes were swollen, you'd never know why it's hurting like this, 'cause even I don't.
The pain was continuous. I tried to feel my arms, I don't think I could feel it bleeding anymore, maybe what I did was right, maybe the myth was true, or maybe it's just that something new is hurting me already so I can't feel it anymore, just like life.
Why? 'Cause every time I get hurt, every time that I cry, every time that I feel pain, physical or emotional, I always tell myself that this is the proof that I'm still alive.
Love comes and goes? Nah, I think I'd believe that saying if it was like: Pain comes and goes. like sometimes we feel that the pain will never end, like its part of our second nature, but actually, it will, it will end and I'm sure that you won't notice. Why? 'Cause its already been replaced with another type of pain, maybe something that'll hurt you even more, or something that you can handle.
It's all to make you stronger, you gotta remember that.
I sensed my surroundings, the rumbling stopped, and so did the shaking, and whatever did happen, I opened my eyes, where am I?
Oh great, and now I'm in a place full of wood, and nothing else. I tried to move, until I noticed that I was tied up, my feet, my legs, and my hands, the tree branch I've been holding on has now become some metal thing that keeps my feet from touching the ground.
Oh great, oh great, oh great.
There was a snake.
On the ground, and it's slithering, slithering near me.
My legs began to shake, and my hands were painting while it's trying to carry my body from the ground. I was screaming inside my head. I want to get out of here, Trystann?
"Trystann?" I sobbed to myself.
The snake was now circling my legs. Maybe I thought about dying and escaping reality, but no by being fed to a snake.
It slithered to my legs, I tried to kick it away but I couldn't, I was tied up.
Now it's near my neck.
'Once it's slithering on your body, don't move' the voice in my head told me. Okay okay. I won't.
So I just closed my eyes, stopping my self from sobbing as it slithers.