Spreading the Funny

By MercyRose

2.5M 21.5K 3.5K

Do you want to laugh? Do you? You know you want to, don't you. Come on, don't be afraid---- Just read me>>... More

Spreading the Funny
Who's Smarter Now?
Dear Abby
Poof....Goes the Light
Best Divorce Letter Ever
Dementia Quiz
Happy Hallow's Eve
Wanted
Trials and Tribulations of Marriage
Lessons on Parenting
Pick up lines that tell you to run for the hills
You Might be a Redneck if ..............................
Proverbial Wisdom
The Older We Get....
Southern Born and Bred
The Naked Cowboy
The Outhouse
A Phone Call
Thanksgiving Etiquette
Git-R-Done
Hair Color anyone???
Welfare **
Rank.....
Perceptions of a Child
Putting Affairs in Order
Polish....Sausage :)
Froggy was a Rolling Stone
Da End is Near
And That's How the Fight Started >>>>
Another Blond moment....
Getting to know Women.....
Retirement
Spread the Stupid :D
Bonus >>>>>>
Taters...
Life Lesson
With age.....comes wisdom
Profit Sharing
Silver Lining
My Daddy Sleeps Naked!
Here's Your Sign
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K..........
Children are Quick
Relationships Go Round and Round
Making Babies .....
Feel like a Woman
Always remember to thank the ones that matter....
Craigs List Ad... Priceless....
Advice for your daughters
Understanding a Woman
And the light turned yellow......
Consumer Reports Review
Sleeping With Bob
Lifesavers.....
Fab new Weight Loss Plan
How to Cross a River
Answers....... courtesy of the average Smart A*s
The Proverbial Question?
Stanley Cup Final
Eve's side of the story
Quickie in the Bushes
A Woman's Poem
Children say the darndest things......
Life and Balance....
Seeing is Believing
Ah, the Joys of a Loving Marriage
Caught!
How to be a gracious B*tch
0 to 200 in 6 seconds....
What is Politics?
And the moral of the story is.....
Golf Fence....
Ball Size
Hello Operator....
Open Letter....
Out of the mouth of babes....
Bad Day....

Genies

25.5K 206 50
By MercyRose

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.

A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?

'Uh...yeah!, sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.

'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.

Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.'

Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'

'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'

'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.

'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,' she said.

'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'

'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'

'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'

You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.

The genie was insatiable.

After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?'

'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.

'No Kidding,' he said.

'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?

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