Trials and Tribulations of Marriage

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An Ode to Marriage

WIFE:     

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.

I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.

Then I wrote your name on my heart

& I got Heart Attack.

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HUSBAND:

God saw me hungry, he created pizza.

He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.

He saw me in dark, he created light.

He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

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WIFE:

Twinkle twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far.

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HUSBAND:

The rain makes all things beautiful.

The grass and flowers too.

If rain makes all things beautiful

Why doesn’t it rain on you?

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WIFE:

Roses are red;

Violets are blue

Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.

Don’t feel so angry you will find me there too

Not in cage but laughing at you.

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Last but not least :

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

“Careful… Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You’re cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They’re going to stick! Careful… Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!”

 The wife stared at him and asked, “What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”

The husband looked up and calmly replied, “I wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving with you in the car.”

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