Reason after reason, my anger and annoyance kept building up. He was never home and if by some miracle he was he'd yell at me. I would yell back then he would just leave. Or he was drunk and I avoided that at all cost. Night after night, we'd fight. I didn't get why Jay pushed me away from the business. It was how we met and it was what I wanted to do. I enjoyed robbing banks with him, he was always so happy. It felt like he was happiest when he was causing mischief. Or when he was having a meeting at the club and he would kill the man, his laugh was always louder. He enjoyed doing these things and I just wanted to do them with him. He was always happiest when he did and as his girl, why wouldn't I want to enjoy that with him?
Once we got together, Jay stopped giving me jobs. He would always give me the easier ones at first, like following someone and reporting it to him. Or tracking someone down, and telling Frost. I got jobs which no longer involved me doing anything. They were unimportant. Every time I'd ask Jay about it, he'd just say "there's nothing to do". As if he didn't have anything planned ever.
When I asked Frost why he just shrugged. Frost was my friend or the closest thing to one. He and I worked together before Jay and I became a thing. Since then, he had backed away. I understand, Jay didn't like me talking to other men. Frost was afraid, who wouldn't be? I just really needed someone to talk to. Frost was the only other person besides Jay I could talk to. But now, neither were an option.
Fortunately, I found out that there was a heist today. I was preparing for it as Jay walked into the room. He stood in the doorway watching me. I could feel his eyes follow my every move and if I didn't think this would start an argument I'd probably tease him.
"Where do you think you're going?" I rolled my eyes, he couldn't see me since I was facing away but I'm sure he knew.
"Nice to see you too, Mister J." I spat as I found the clothes I needed to wear. I started putting on the outfit he got me when we went on jobs. It had been too long since I put it on. "Close the door." He slammed it closed which caused me to jump.
"Why are you putting that on? You aren't going on a job." I faced him, crossing my arms over my chest.
"I am. I'm going on the heist today." I grabbed my pistol and tucked it in my thigh holster. He came closer to me, running his hand through his hair.
"You aren't going. Take that off right now." We stared at each other, scowls on our faces.
"Don't tell me what to do." Jay's eyes widened in surprise but it was soon replaced by a dark look in his eyes. I took a step back. I never really back talked Jay, so I didn't know what his reaction would be. I had it with him ignoring me. I was his girl but worked for him first. He should be able to share that part of his life with me.
"You don't get to talk to me like that. Apologize to daddy, or I'll have to punish you when I get back." I scoffed.
"When we get back. And I'm not going to apologize. If you won't let me go on this heist, I swear I will walk out that door and never come back." I tapped my foot waiting for his response. "You know you'll never see me again. I was taught well."
He growled and had I not been angry with him I would have been weak in the knees with the noise and look he gave me. "You know better than to threaten me. Daddy will forgive ya if you beg."
"You know better than to ignore me, but look what happened. I ain't apologizing. Let's go. We're gonna be late." I walked passed him only for him to grab my arm and pull me to him.
"You're staying. Take that shit off." I yanked my arm from him.
"No, I'm going." I walked out the house waiting for him with Frost.
I really missed talking to him. He was outside and surprised to see I was going. We talked for a bit, not that there was much to talk about. "He's just protecting you is all." I rolled my eyes. As if Jay cared about people to protect them. I knew and understood Jay never would. I was okay with that.
"I don't need protection. Hell, I took care of myself my whole life. It's how I ended up working for him." Frost shook his head.
"You should stay. He must want you to stay for a reason." I just shook my head.
"No. He hasn't talked to me normally in days. All we do if fight. I need to prove myself to him again. I need to show him, I'm not completely worthless. It's boring not killing anyone and just staying there all day." I gestured to the house. Frost chuckled which just made me confused.
"I don't think staying in a house big enough for just about anything with a pool and jacuzzi is a bad thing." I sighed.
"It is when the one person you want to share it with is always gone or pushing you away." I looked towards Frost. "What did I do to make him do that? Do you think he found someone else?"
"I'm with him always. He didn't find anyone else. Why would he replace you? Don't doubt yourself." I nodded and started thinking about Jay. Maybe he was just trying to protect me. Wasn't fair, though. Jay came out and walked towards me.
"Get in the car." I went to go in the front where Frost was going into but Jay stopped me. "Not in there. The back."
I wanted to talk more to Frost since we hadn't in a long time and it was nice. "Why can't I just go with Frosty?"
"If you're riding with someone, you're riding with me. Get in before I change my mind." I just nodded and walked to the back of the van. I didn't want to push Jay more than I already had.
As we arrived at the bank, Jay got up and opened the doors. He faced me with a look of concern at first but went right back to anger. "Stay with me at all times." I just nodded doing what he said. We rushed in and everything went well. Some of his men stayed in the front as Jay went to the vault. Frost had said there was a problem so we went in to see what was wrong. Jay was pissed since he truly believed none of his men could do anything right. I was too late to realizing the money had been cleared out and nothing was wrong. We heard Frost close the vault and turned around.
"Frost, what the fuck?" I started banging on the vault door.
"Boss, talk to her. I got everything out here covered. I'll open this door when everything is set between the both of you." I sighed.
"Frost, get me the fuck out of here. The cops are gonna be here any second and take us to Arkham if you don't let us out of here!" I kicked the door and immediately regretted it.
"Get chatting then." I shook my head.
"I may actually hate him now," I mumbled and just decided to wait. I sat on the floor taking my boot off and massaging my foot. It really hurt now. Damn you, Frost. Two minutes went by of silence. Jay hadn't said shit as he just stared at me. At least that was what I felt.
"Why did you insist on coming?" He harshly spoke.
"Why are you mad at me when it's Frost who did this?" I stood up and started banging on the door again. "Let us out." I was met by silence.
"Answer my question." I looked towards Jay who was glowering at me. Why was he angry? I should be pissed, not him.
"Why was it a problem if I came?" I wanted to see if he had a reason or if he was just being an asshole to me.
"There was no need for you here." I bit my lip nodding my head. There was my answer.
"Maybe there is no need for me anywhere near you." I clicked my tongue. "I'll leave by tonight. Sorry I ever bothered you." I faced the door waiting for Frost to open it again.
"That's not what I meant." I looked over my shoulder. He was closer to me but still out of reach. I thought about what to say. He was confusing at times, he never said what he meant.
"What did you mean? Huh? What could you have meant? You don't need me, Jay."
Jay stood still, which was strange. Either he was pissed off beyond the point of ever getting back to him or he was calm. After a few more seconds of silence, he spoke up. "I don't need you. I want you. This life isn't meant for this."
"This life isn't meant for what exactly?"
"For love. It isn't safe. This life destroys anything and everything. That can't happen to us or you." I was puzzled. I knew love wasn't meant for this which was why I never expected it.
"Jay, I never asked for you to love me. I know you can't. I know love isn't meant for this. It's dangerous and a weakness. I know how you feel about those." I stepped closer to him. "I want this life with you and expect nothing but fun and sometimes pain from it." I held his hand softly, he wasn't much for affection but sometimes I could get away with it. "I want you, Jay. I know what comes with it. You don't have to protect me. I want to work, I want to go on heists, I want to have fun with you. Don't push me away. It's not fair to either of us."
We slowly leaned into each other. I smiled into the kiss. I missed Jay. I missed kissing him. I missed being near him. I missed touching him. I missed everything about him. He moaned as we pulled away which caused me to blush but smile. I had him back. He caressed my cheeks as we kept our foreheads together smiling. "You're so good to daddy, aren't you?" I nodded biting my lip. We went back to kissing, which eventually led to me jumping on his waist. We didn't even notice Frost open the vault door until he spoke.
"We gotta go. Cops are near." I laughed pulling away from Jay and hoping down.
"Frost you should lock us up more often." I winked at him as I left.
"I don't think it'd be good for my eyes." He joked.
"You're lucky I won't kill you, Frost." Frost gulped and followed us out.
I giggled when Jay slapped my ass as he followed behind me. We ran to the car together and escaped. Everything was back to normal, we'd be having fun again. That's all I wanted.