So the girls have been here 4 days now and I'm really loving their company and I'm not gonna lie I'm really starting to fall for Camila, I'm definitely sexually attracted to her. She's just so beautiful and mega talented and the way she smiles and her laugh and how she always know what to say when I'm sa-
"Earth to Elena" Camila said interrupting my thoughts.
"Sorry" I blushed as if she was able to hear what I was thinking.
"You were daydreaming" she laughed that adorable laugh.
"Sorry" I apologised again.
"Wasssssup bitches" Joe said entering the kitchen and putting his hand out for high fives "wassup Jonas" I said high fiving him.
"Has that become my new name here?" he asked
"I think so" I laughed.
"Be my piggy?" I asked standing up on the counter
"Fine" he laughed rolling his eyes.
"Yay" I said jumping on his back.
He ran around the house and then threw me onto the living room couch collapsing down on top of me.
We were both laughing hysterically "you're more like a horse instead of a pig" I laughed.
"What's going on?" Demi asked raising her eyebrow as she arrived in the front door.
"Joe is being a really bad pig" I laughed replying.
"O.kay" she looked at me weird "I have food" she said showing me the bags.
"Yaaaas" I pushed Joe off of me and ran towards the kitchen.
"Hey" I smiled sitting next to Camila.
"Hey" she smiled back.
Everyone gathered in the kitchen and I sat in between Joe and Camila.
As we were eating Joe kept taking food "like seriously you're that hungry you need to finish mine before you've even started yours" I laughed.
"Yeah, pretty much" he laughed.
I could feel Demi's eyes on me and it was making me really uncomfortable and here it was happening a wonderful mood swing that came along with the bipolar. In a second I went from extremely happy to wanting to kill someone.
"I'm finished" I said standing up
"But you hardly ate anything" Demi
said and everyone looked at me.
"I'm done" I simply said looking at her.
"Elena finish your food" Demi firmly said.
"No I'm not hungry" I said and walked out of the kitchen.
To be honest I wasn't in an eating mood, I never really am anymore but I know I have to. I'm scared though incase everything fucks up and I end up how I used to be, I don't want to be that way anymore but I can slowly feel myself slipping away and it's absolutely terrifying.
I sat at the end of the stairs with my head resting in my legs just thinking.
"Elena, you need to finish your food, you haven't eaten anything today" Demi said coming into the foyer.
"It's kind of hard when you're staring me down" I angrily replied my head still resting in my knees.
"I wasn't" she said defensive.
"Yeah you were" I looked up at her.
"I'm sorry I didn't realise it" she apologised
"It doesn't matter" I said
"It does you need to eat" she sat down next to me "please for yourself"
"I don't feel comfortable eating in front of everyone"
"If I bring it into the living room will you eat it there?"
"Fine" I sighed.
"Ok wait inside" demi said standing up.
_______
DEMIS POV
Elena was right I was staring her down but it wasn't just her it was Joe too.
They've become really friendly with each other and I don't like it one bit.
I went into the kitchen to get Elena's food
"Is she ok?" Camila asked.
"She will be in a while sweetie,just a tough day" I replied.
I grabbed Elena's plate and smiled at Camila and then left the kitchen.
"Hey, here you go" I said handing her the plate.
"Thanks" she whispered with a shaky voice and I looked at her eyes, they were red.
"Elena what's up, why are you crying?" I asked sitting down beside her.
"I wasnt" she denied it.
"Elena" I raised my eyebrow.
"I just feel like shit today, I'll be fine. can you leave me? I really don't want to be around people" she said.
"Fine" I stood up and kissed her forehead "but I want you to come back into the kitchen with an empty plate.
"Yeah, ok" she mumbled.
I went back into the kitchen to everyone and Wilmer who was sitting at the kitchen table gestured for me to come over.
He pulled back from the table a bit and opened his arms for me to sit on his lap, which I did.
I pulled his arms around my waist and cuddled into him.
He kissed my cheek "is everything ok?"
"Yeah" I sighed "she just wants to be left alone"
"Ok and you? are you ok?" He asked resting his head on my shoulder.
"Yeah I'm o-" Elena arrived into the kitchen, extremely pale looking and walked over to me.
"I really don't feel well, I think I'm gonna puke" she said to me.
I stood up "well let's not do it in here" I rubbed her back.
"Come on I'll take you upstairs" I said taking her hand.
________
ELENAS POV
"You don't feel warm" Demi said feeling my forehead as I laid in bed.
I had managed to puke about four times in the last 20 minutes.
"It's cause I'm not that kind of sick" I said.
"What do you mean?" she looked at me worried.
"I don't know I'm just stressed and sad lately and normally before I would have cut to make it go away but since I don't do that anymore my body feels the need to vomit whenever I'm feeling like that. Normally if I distract myself I can make it go away but the fact that eating was the cause of the stress and that i had to eat on top of it made me get sick" I explained.
"Elena why haven't you told me this before? and why are you so stressed about eating?"she rubbed my head.
"I'm scared incase I go back to how it used to be, because lately I'm just not up to eating and I'm trying my best to fight it and I do eat, which makes me happy but then again it makes me sad because I'm terrified incase I can't fight it anymore" I started crying. "It just looks so easy for you and I'm jealous, that I can't be like that"
"Shh" Demi cooed "hey I'm gonna tell you something that I don't like talking about with you because I feel like I have to be strong for you but right now you need to know that I'm not always strong."
"Ok" I replied
"Remember back on tour the day you went and got your license?" She asked
"Yeah?" I replied
"Well when you saw me and mom heading out for something to eat I was being forced 100% into that. I had been having an extremely bad day, I went off on a rampage screaming at everyone to leave me alone and finally when I calmed down, I distracted myself with work. It had been about 5 hours into the day and I hadn't eaten anything and the thing is I had been so caught up with my work that I had forgotten. then mom came to find me and I broke down I didn't want to eat that day I could have cared less if my body starved because I felt like if I ate that would have just made everything worse but then mom said I needed to do this for me and that it was part of my recovery to fight off my demons, so I did. Once I finished eating and I knew I had beaten my demons all the bad thoughts went away and I was so happy that I made that decision. I'm struggling everyday and I know you are too so I want to make a pact ok" she stuck out her pinky.
"When we get days like that, If it's you or even me, we'll talk about it and help each other through" she said waiting for me to take her pinky.
I hesitated for a minute. I never knew Demi got like that until now, she needs me just as much as I need her "ok" I said taking her pinky.
"Ok good" she smiled and laid down beside me and I cuddled into her chest.
_______
I awoke to Demi's body missing but a new one had taken her place.
"Sorry did I wake you?" Camila who sat beside me asked.
"No, it's ok" I said sitting up
"What are you doing here? why aren't you with the rest of the girls?" I asked.
"Demi asked me to come check on you and I decided to stay" she smiled.
"Oh and how did I get into my pyjamas?" I asked looking down at the shorts and vest I was now in.
"I think Demi changed you when you were sleeping" she laughed her beautiful laugh.
"How are you feeling?" she asked looking at me and then she looked to my arms with sadness in her eyes.
"I'm better" I replied rubbing my arms. I was un comfortable knowing she could see all my scars.
"Im sorry, I just hate knowing you went through so much pain" she sadly said when she realised I had caught her looking.
"It's ok, I'm ok" I said taking her hand "Really, I am" I said wiping a tear that escaped her eye.
She blushed and quickly wiped her eyes.
Now that we had time alone and that I was sure of my feelings for Camila I felt like I had to get them out.
"You know I've been thinking a lot" I quietly said turning my body toward hers so we were facing each other.
"Yeah? about what?" she asked.
"About you" I replied slightly smiling.
"About the kiss and my feelings" I said.
"You have?" she asked.
"Yeah" I smiled "and about how gorgeous you are" I said tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"How funny you are" I said getting close to her "and just now how you made me realise how caring you are" I said resting my forehead against hers.
"And how much I've fallen for you in the space of two days" I whispered and my lips met hers.
I brought my hands to her waist and pulled her closer into me. She then raised her hand to my cheek.
Our lips lightly brushed off each others and then I smiled breaking the kiss "I really like you Camz" I whispered as our foreheads rested against each others.
Camila giggled "I really like you too" she looked into my eyes.
I pecked her lips again "we should head down stairs" I smiled.
"Yeah we should" Camila agreed "but first" she wiped my eyes with her fingers "you should wash your face" she said showing me the black on them.
"Right" I said standing up off the bed "I was crying earlier" I walked into my bathroom.
"You wanna talk about it?" she asked standing in the doorway.
"Maybe later" I said wiping off my makeup "I don't want to ruin this moment" I smiled.
"Ok" she smiled.
_____
Camila and I arrived downstairs to find everyone out in the back garden.
It was so beautiful outside. it had just gotten dark outside the pit was lighting and so were all the garden lights.
Music was playing and everyone sat outside at the patio table.
"Hey" I said hugging Demi who sat beside Wilmer.
"Hey" she pulled me down onto her lap "how are you feeling?"
"Better" I smiled.
"That's good" she smiled "we got food while you were sleeping and I left you some, will you eat it?"
I nodded and breathed heavily. I suppose I have to fight my demons.
"That's my girl" she kissed my forehead.
"Camila, Elena is heading inside to eat, if you want to join her" Demi smiled at Camila.
"Sure" she smiled back and stood up from Lauren's lap and walked towards the door and I followed her in.
Camila and I didn't say much we just kept making eye contact which said a lot more than words.
We both went to grab a plate and our hands touched making me giggle.
I slowly intertwined my fingers with hers
"we can't do this here" she blushed.
"Do what?" I teased "I'm only holding your hand" I said locking my fingers.
"This" she smiled connecting her lips with mine and I kissed her back for a second. I pulled away just in time as I heard Demi approach the back door.
"So yeah that was so funny" I said to Camila and she looked at me really confused.
"What was funny?" Demi asked arriving inside.
Camila smiled at me when she realised what I was doing
"Nothing just something that happened on tour" I replied.
"Ok" she looked at me weird and then turned her back to get something out of the drawer.
I quickly pecked Camila and she pushed me away smiling,pointing to Demi. I shrugged my shoulders and did it again this time our lips made a loud noise which gave us away.
Demi stood up and turned around to us smiling "I'm sorry" she smirked "but was that a kiss I heard?" she raised her eyebrow before walking back out into the garden.
"Shit" Camila said "I told you" she said freaking out.
"Camz Demi kinda already knows" I said scrunching up my face.
"How?"she asked
"Wilmer saw us the other night when you kissed me and told Demi, but don't worry she promised not to mention it to the girls" I explained.
"Oh,ok" she smiled. "and she's cool about you liking me?"
"Yeah, she said she loves me no matter what" I smiled
"Do your family know about you?"
I asked putting our food onto plates.
"Well yeah my family know" she said pulling forks from the drawer. "But the girls dont" she sighed.
"Do you plan on telling them?" I awkwardly asked
"Yeah, I'm just scared of what they'll think" she said sitting.
"They love you" I sat down beside her "no matter what your sexuality is" I said taking her hand.
"I know,I'm just not ready" she half smiled.
"That's ok" I smiled back.
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