"Morphine for the pain, Lorazepam for anxiety, Cefotan for an antibiotic and a multivitamin to boost your immune system," Justin places each pill and tablet in my hand when he reads out the label of the medicine I need to drink.
I pop them into my mouth and swallow them with the glass of water he hands to me.
He picks up the syringe and reads the already-prepared label on it, "Hyper-Tet. Hmm," he frowns, "guess this is the one immunizes you against Tetanus. We don't want you to get that. That's awful!" He wiggles his brows in attempt to lighten the mood, but I just gulp when he brings the needle to my upper arm.
"Come on babe, you said you'll let me help. Otherwise I'm going to call the nurse," he threatens.
If there's one thing I've learned about this gorgeous greek god standing in front of me - is that I shouldn't joke about my health. If I sneeze or cough because there's dust particles floating around, he thinks I'm going to die of suffocation.
So I know he is being dead serious with the look he gives me. It's one of those you better do this or else- kind of looks.
I sigh "Fine."
He smiles and wipes a patch of skin with the alcohol wipe.
"Ready?"
I shut my eyes and nod. I don't need to see this. My poor hand and elbow crease is already blue and butchered with all the needles they had in me. I've seen enough needles to last me a lifetime.
I hear Justin laugh and I can't help but open my eyes and frown at him in confusion.
"What's so funny?" I ask.
He swings a now-empty syringe between his fingertips, "You didn't even feel it pierce your skin. See? I promised I'll be gentle."
"Oh," I try to hide my embarrassment.
He shakes his head in laughter and kisses my cheek, "I missed that blush of yours."
"You're making it worse!" I complain.
When he is done putting everything away, he plonks dows on the chair next to my bed, "So, have you been able to remember anything yet?"
"No," I look down and fidget with my thumbs, "I'm sorry."
"It's alright," his hands cups over mine in a consolation, "I'll be here every step of the way, don't worry." His golden eyes stare at me like they're looking deep into my soul.
I can feel him trying to remember for me. He says it doesn't matter if I recall the past or not, but I know it bothers him.
So I force a smile and do what I think would make him happy, "I have questions though."
"Of course you do," he chuckles, "I tell you what, why don't we take a walk outside this afternoon if you're feeling up to it - then I'll to answer everything I can."
I can't keep the smile from forming on my face, "Really? You would let me go out today?"
He nods, "Hmm-mm, the nurse said you're looking much better today. I think you deserve it."
I lean my head back and giggle like a schoolgirl.
Finally.
***
"Why hasn't Will or Blake come and visit me here yet?"
My arm is locked into Justin's. We're slothing around his humongous garden and I'm trying to excercise my breathing whilst trying to walk around with a gunshot wound in my abdomen.
Needless to say, it hurts like hell.
But I need answers.
Justin gives me a conflictory smile, "Things happened..." he looks down, "that, uh, upset you a lot. We thought it would be best we told you our sides of the story, one at a time. I don't want you hurting any more than what you already do Calista..." he trails off.
"But?" I ask.
"But you're going to discover that we fücked up. All the men in your life - we were all being self-centered pigs. I was the worst of them all."
I can't help but see how he is fighting to keep his emotions at bay. I want to console him, be there for him, tell him everything will be okay; but how can I do that if I don't know how I'll react when I come to know the truth?
I inhale, "Okay."
"Okay what?" he frowns.
"Okay, I'm ready to find out what happened to me and why you are so eager to make things right with me. The floor is yours."
His whole body tenses beside me and he doesn't say a word as we walk towards a bench resting under an overhanging arch full of white and pink flowers. He sits me down and takes my hands.
I can visibly see how his chest rises and fall as he tries to prepare himself to talk. Honestly, his reaction is making my nerves worse.
"Here goes," he breathes.
***
We've been sitting outside for almost three hours.
I'm gobsmacked and dumbstruck.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Justin looks at me with those perfect chocolate eyes and thick brows. The hope in his eyes is definite and searching for any sign that I'll speak and tell him the things he wants to hear.
But I don't even know where to start.
"Calista, please, just say something."
"Something," I whisper.
He shakes his head and chuckles, "You know that's not what I meant."
How can I be mad at someone that went through so much trouble to save me? That he gave up an entire tour to ensure I'm okay. To get me back. To show me he loves me.
I can tell that he does, otherwise he wouldn't be sitting here, holding onto my hands for dear life, wishing that I'd say I want him too.
Okay sure, he was a dïck to tell me to leave when we were on holiday in Switzerland, but to be fair, it sounds like I wasn't being honest either, since I had hidden a letter of blackmail from my kind-of-ex-boyfriend-soon-to-be-fiancé.
I can't help but wonder, "So, Blake is okay with us?"
"It seems like it. Frank and Blake Leigh both gave me their blessing and apologised for what they did during the weeks they came to visit you in hospital."
"That's hard to believe," I mutter.
"I know," he lifts my chin, "I guess we all realised what is important to us when you were unconscious."
I can't help but to let my cheek fall into his cupped hand and blush at his comment. Am I really that important to him? A famous celeb?
He takes my hand in a casual grab, "Blake asked for a moment alone with you a few days before you woke up. He said he needed to say sorry and make things right, he didn't think you would make it. None of us did."
"What did he have to say sorry for, exactly?"
"I have no idea, you'll have to ask him that. You were in Africa with him, not me." It seems as if he is angered by that fact, but quickly lets it go, "All he said that if it wasn't for him, you wouldn't have been shot."
What did Blake mean by that?
"Anyway, Blake apologised to me too."
My head shoots up, "Did he say what he was saying sorry for?"
"Yeah," he rubs the back of his neck and yawns, "He never meant to make it appear as if you were cheating on me. His hope of being with you after being separated for so long, overcrowded his judgement and he hurt you more than he hurt himself in the process. He asked if I could forgive him and if there were a chance we could be friends, he'd like that very much. He said, and I quote 'It's the least I can do after what I put her through' and I agreed to it."
"Okay," I whisper. I'm going to need a lot more time to process that, but I am curious about something else, "and what about Will?"
"He's scared you'll be mad at him all over again for being hired by Frank Leigh. Hence, me telling you what he did and not him. He begged me to try and convince you to forgive him, because to him, you'll be his best friend forever."
I can't help but smile at the last part.
"You're taking all of this very well. I would have freaked out," Justin comments as he rubs the inside of my thigh in thought.
"I don't know, I guess I had time to prepare myself for all the drama. And to be honest - I feel weird," I huff.
"Weird as in?" He lifts his brow.
"As in I feel like I should be okay with everything that you said and be happy where I am now. I don't know, it's hard to explain. It's like I already knew I would have to make peace with all of this."
I don't know how to say this, but if I could describe my reaction to what he is telling me, it would be numb. I don't feel any anger, remorse or bitterness towards the things that happened. Why, I wouldn't know.
Maybe I made my peace with these things before I was shot. Maybe I was ready to move on and forgive and forget.
"I guess it will sink in with time, right?"
"I guess so," he rubs my back and helps me to stand, "For now, we should head back to the house. Your next batch of medicine is due and you need to eat."
"I'm not really hungry," I utter.
Justin grabs my ass, "This," he bites his lower lips, "needs to fill up to the curvy body I fell in love with. You lost way too much weight."
My gaze shoots down to my toes as I blush. Not only did I like the fact that he grabbed my butt, but it feels like a million butterflies just hatched out of their cocoons in my stomach. They're fluttering all over now.
When we reach the second floor of his house, I can't help but stare down his open bedroom door. Oh lord have mercy.
Did we...?
Justin must have seen my reaction, because I jump at his sudden closeness to my ear. He whispers, "Yes baby, we did it. All night long."
As if he read my mind...
I gasp at the hot breath that brushes down my neck. He nibbles the lobe of my ear and breathes out, "I plan to make love to you for the rest of our lives. I was your first, and I will be your last."
* * *
Hot damn :P
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-euodiadem