Recap:
Five months, 8 days, a worried wolf, dreams- no nightmares getting worse and it was only 7 in the morning. Things were about to change. And probably not for the better.
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I had a worried wolf chasing me down, and treating me like a porcelain doll. Like I might break at any moment with one wrong move.
"Stop acting as if nothing happened!" He yelled. I could tell he was frustrated.
"Nothing happened!" I yelled, at least nothing that's not normal for me." I finished under my breath.
"Wait so what I'm understanding is that this, you waking up in the middle of the night screaming your throat dry and crying so hard that that your eyes turned red is normal for you?" All I could do is nod.
I never wanted to talk about this anyone. Sometime not even my father. Some nights I just tell him I'm fine, or as fine as I can be all things considered, he leaves me to my own devices. Normally after that I jump into the shower trying to wash away all the thoughts about the nightmares. Washing away the blood that's not actually there, scrubbing until my skin is red, and the thought knowing of a few bazillion skin cells are going down the drain.
"Talk to me Audrey." He pleaded.
"I can't." My voice broke, so did my heart a little.
If I did speak to him about this, something bad could happen. Whether it be to me or to him. I couldn't let that happen.
Not only that but I just flat out didn't want him to know about my sufferings. I didn't want him to know how bad this person in my head is. I didn't want him to know how weak this person makes me. How bad it felt to be weak, to not believe I was strong enough for anything.
I was a broken shell yet again, something that always happened. Happened every year, every move. Soon I wouldn't be able to handle this, it was slowly getting harder to live with this.
It has been so long since I've dealt with this. These nightmares, this person who constantly wants me to suffer. Whoever it was that wanted me dead sure is slowly getting it's wish.
"I know that last night you only slept long enough to get a nightmare, but the night before last you didn't sleep at all. Or the night before, and the night before that. The last time you've slept was the night I jumped into your room. That was five days ago. Audrey, you haven't had sleep in five days." It was time he shut up. I walked away, I couldn't take it anymore, this can't happen, I won't let it continue.
"Kohen, just stop! Stay away from this! This is my burden to handle and I can't have you deal with this. There's no way for you to deal with this anyways." I say, well just about yell. On the plus side we were inside my house and we weren't loud enough that the neighbors could hear us.
Yet at least.
"What if there was and you just wouldn't let me help you."
"Yeah? Like what? I've tried just about everything there is out there to stop nightmares. Nothing works, fighting it makes things worse for me. I'm not dealing with it with you." I yell back at him, he might be my mate but I don't want him near this.
"We're mates, maybe something you haven't tried would work. I could..." Some reason he didn't want to finish that sentence, but part of me knew what it was.
"I'm not letting you bite me just to try to see if it helps with my nightmares. What happens if it doesn't work, huh? What?" I tell him, with a tone in my voice that sounds more like desperation then I wanted to. The lump in my throat forming bigger and tears threatening to spill over. I turn around quick and head to the kitchen, there wasn't really another place to go.
"That's not what I was going to s-"
"Bullshit!" I yell cutting him off.
"No it's not Audrey! Well okay maybe it was something I was thinking about, but it wasn't what I was going to say. I was going to say just sleeping with you, JUST sleeping. Nothing more, nothing less." His voice slowly decreasing into a normal inside voice as he ended.
"That's not a bad idea. Try it." We jump at the voice of my father. "But I swear to God if I hear so much as anything that sounds like sex I will rip that door off it's hinges."
"Noted."
"Pillow talk. Great." I glare at my father who only shrugs his shoulders.
When did he get home? I voice my thoughts.
"Probably 10 minutes ago. I've been sitting here listening to you two arguing with each other. It's quite comical, even though Audrey's right Kohen, she may be your mate but she doesn't want anyone close to this. Sometimes not even me." He states.
It was technically true. I didn't want him near this either, but that doesn't stop it from happening. He needs to be here for me, I would be a mess. More then a mess, I would be a shell of a person.
Five months, 9 days, thinking about the truth is not how I wanted any day to go.
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Guys I am soo sorry that I've been absent. I started school back up. And then there was that hurricane and we finally got power back up.
That was not fun at all.
Houses near me have been flooded, peices of roofs taken off, or been damaged by trees. Trees were down I'm my yard and neighboring yards.