we huddled around mom waiting to hear the bad news. she was just crying so hard, and couldn't get it out.
"grandma is dead" she said.
we all knew that grandma was in a bad condition, but she decided to pass the night of demi's concert.
oh yeah, demi. the one who is closest to grandma.
i looked over at demi to find her on her knees in her own tears. everyone was looking at her and taking pictures.
i went up on stage and decided to close off the concert. "lovatics, i am very sorry that your concert has come to an end early. we will figure out another solution for all of you. please exit and have a safe trip home. you will be contacted shortly. demi is going to be fine." i said.
sure, i had tears in my eyes, but, see, grandma has always had favorites. she didn't make much of a connection with me. i think just because i don't look quite like the rest, i'm not treated like the rest.
my skin tone is a bit darker, my accents are a bit thicker, but now is not the time to judge.
my grandmother is now dead.
as soon as the audience cleared out, we all went backstage and sat for a while. we decided that the next day we should go to texas to figure out situations for grandma.
mom's phone rang.
"hello?" mom said putting it on speaker. it was dallas.
"hi mom, and family i'm assuming i'm on speaker. sorry for such short notice, but i flew out to texas earlier to go and see grandma." she said crying. "but, when i got here she was dead. i don't know - are you guys coming?" she said.
{a/n- you thought i would kill dallas?}
"yes, we can find a flight tonight. we will see you in a bit sweetie, we love you." mom said to dallas.
she hang up the phone and demi and i changed into more comfortable clothing.
all the way to the hotel, demi was crying and in mom's arms like a baby, and maddie was in eddie's also.
i was just sitting there.
i was kind of staring into space when they started calling my name.
"gabriela? are you alright?" they asked me. i just nodded. my eyes weren't wet, but i was still a bit shook.
after packing everything up and notifying the tour managers that we weren't going to be in new mexico the day after, we made our way to the airport.
it was such a long flight, and of course, i sat by myself. in back of those up there who were crying.
there was a little girl who sat next to me.
thinking about everything that had occurred, tears started to flow out of my eyes.
i didn't really notice.
"are you okay?" the little girl asked me.
i just nodded.
"i don't think you are." she said looking down. i was starting to wonder what she was looking at.
i looked down, and it appeared to be that my sleeve lifted up a bit and you could see some of my scars.
i quickly pulled it back down.
"no, don't be ashamed." she said. she took my wrist and pulled up the sleeve. i didn't resist.
she bent down and kissed it.
"don't do this to yourself." she said begging.
"aren't you like six? you don't understand." i said rolling my eyes a bit.
"i don't? you see my mama over there?" she said looking over to her mom in the seat across the aisle from us.
i nodded slowly.
"she has them too, but she doesn't try to cover them up. she's recovering and she's the best mommy any one could be. i'm proud of her. and i'm proud of you too, but if you'd just stop... i'd be even more proud." she said.
"why?" i asked.
"my mom attempted suicide right in front of me." she said.
how does this girl know about this.
"how old are you?" i said tearing up more.
"ten." she said softly. oh my god, she's so small for the age of ten.
"listen, i know i'm not one to talk, but please hang in there. i am relieved to see that you and your mama are sitting here on this plane so healthy. thank you for this amazing talk." i said smiling and giving her a hug.
we continued to talk for a bit and she's actually really sweet and nice. she occupied my time and kept my mind off of things.
before we landed, she grabbed my wrist again, but looked up at me for permission this time. i nodded.
she slowly reached down and kissed it again.
"one more time for good luck." she said smiling. and with that, our plane came to a stop.
----------------
she looks dead.
extra dead.
demi couldn't stand to be in this room, so she went out the door with mom and mom held her.
i'm the only one in here.
i sat beside grandma, and put my hand in hers. i must have been dreaming, because she squeezed my hand back.
i screamed.
demi and mom came bursting through the door. "grandma, she squeezed my hand back." i said in shock.
mom came over and hugged me, but demi rolled her eyes.
"gabriela, our grandmother is dead. she's laying right there... dead. and, you made us come in here for what? some silly acquisition. stop making things about you all of the time." she spat and left the room.
i started to tear up. she hasn't yelled at me like that in a while.
"are you okay baby? demi is under a lot of stress right now. don't blame her for it." she said.
i gave her a look.
"well maybe if your daughter, demetria, could control her fucking anger then you wouldn't have to apologize for her. we're all stressed. not just demi. in more ways than you know." i said and left the room.
as i left the room and went to the nearest bathroom, i heard demi calling out after me.
"gabriela, i'm sorry." she said standing up and trying to walk towards me, but i she flicked her off.
david taught me well.
i continued my journey and found the bathroom. i took of my shoe, and found the piece of metal inside.
i thought back to the little girl on the plane, and wondered if this is the right thing to do.
but, me being me, i dragged it across my wrist a few times before doing it on my thy.
i ran water over the cuts when i was done, and went next door in the supply closet.
i grabbed the alcohol and wipes and wiped my wrist free of blood, and wrapped my wrist in a bandage.
i sat down on the floor and cried to myself.
i was there for a few minutes when this bitch of a nurse decided to come in and try and kick me out.
"excuse me, little girl. just what do you think you're doing here?" she said crossing here arms.
"minding my own god damn business just like you should be doing, bitch." i said just as rude.
i stood up and pushed her aside and walked out of the room.
i kept my head straight, and walked and walked. demi and mom kept calling my name. i went to the elevator where i met eddie and maddie.
"where are you going?" they said.
i ignored them, went downstairs, and out of the hospital. my phone is on, they can call if they want to, but no promises that i will answer.