''Mm, Grace. I like this,'' I murmured, cuddling her. I pulled her closer to me and buried my head in the crook of her neck, cosying up to her. I enjoyed every bit of it, every moment. The feeling of having her in my arms, laying down behind her, making myself comfortable with my arms around her waist. If I could be in one position forever, it would be this one.
''Shh, Harry. I'm tired,'' Grace giggled, trying to hush me with her hand. Since it was dark, it took a while for her hand to find my mouth. I took this as an opportunity to lick her hand. She squealed, ''Harry! Gross!'' She immediately removed her hand and trying to wipe it somewhere. I chuckled and smirked.
''Sorry, babe. Hey, let's tell each other secrets. Let's gossip, let's do something fun,'' I suggested.
''Didn't you want to sleep a few minutes ago? I thought you were tired,'' Grace pointed out.
''I was, but I feel more alive when I'm with you. Don't know what it is, but it's something about you.'' I answered truthfully. I looked up at the ceiling and thought about life right now. I thought about how everything that I have right now will be gone in an instant. I turned a bit. My arm was still around Grace, but I was facing upwards now.
''That's nice,'' She hummed. ''It is really late though, Haz. I think we should sleep. It's not healthy.''
''You know what is healthy? Kissing.'' I remarked, sneaking a fact that I had learnt a few weeks ago into the conversation. Cheekily, I smirked at my own comment and could already picture the look on her face.
''That's nice to know,'' Grace laughed at me. ''But seriously, Harry. Let's get some sleep, yeah? I wasn't tired before but I feel like having you next to me is going to help me fall asleep really easily.''
''The feeling is mutual,'' I replied. And before I knew it, my eyes began to close and I drifted off to sleep.
****
A regular morning. Nothing special, nothing new. I still had the divorce on my mind. After spending a night with Grace, it made me feel worse about my decision, but it had to be done. I am in love with Grace, I really am. However, this is something that has so stop. I know Grace understands. We have talked about it and it's not something that we want, but it's something that we have to do.
I still had so much to do. I had to talk to Erin about getting a divorce. Then, I would have to see what will happen after that. Getting a divorce is no joke, and I don't know if I'm prepared for that change yet. You have to do this, Harry. You can't marry one person and be in love with the other. I sighed and rubbed my temple. All of these thoughts that were rushing through my mind were driving me crazy, I couldn't control myself.
How am I going to talk to Erin about divorcing her? She is going to be heartbroken. It makes me feel horrible knowing that I am going to hurt such a strong and loving woman like Erin, a woman that does not deserve any of this. All she wanted was a happy life after all the shit that she had been through years ago, and I was the one to give her that - Unfortunately, I am also the one to take that away from her.
''Daddy, eat your food.'' Joey insisted, kicking his legs around on the table. I looked up and was immediately brought back to reality. He teased, "What are you thinkin' about?"
"Life," I mumbled, stirring my drink.
"Oh, so you're having one of those serious thoughts about life? Yeah, been there." Joey nodded his head, clearly relating to me. I chuckled, and messed up his hair playfully.
"Been there, hm?" I asked.
"Yeah. Sometimes, life annoys me." Joey responded, and he was completely serious, he didn't even crack the smallest smile.
"And how did you get through the hard times, Buddy?" I asked, watching my son wipe his mouth with a napkin. Both of my children were wise, but the oldest was probably the most. I swear, that kid was born eighteen.
"I don't know. Usually, I didn't." Joey said, shrugging his shoulders like it was nothing. My face fell. Hearing those words broke my heart. I rubbed his arm and reassured him. He said, "Sometimes I did. I don't know, it's confusing! Why? Somethin' bothering you?"
"Bothering? Not so much. Just confused, kiddo." I answered, messing his hair about all over again. I loved doing that to to him. As a kid, people would always mess my hair up and I enjoyed doing the same to my son. I said, "Just have fun, alright? Don't worry about me."
"How can I not worry about you, Daddy?" Joey asked, his voice quiet and soft.
"I am so lucky to have a son like you. Never change, Buddy." I smiled down at him. "But seriously, don't worry about me. Daddy's just fine, alright? How about you go and play? I'll eat my food in a bit."
"If you promise you're okay," Joey said.
"I.. promise."
"I love you, Daddy. You're the bestest Daddy in the whole wide world!" Joey told me, and I could only smile.
"You're the bestest son in the whole wide world!" I replied, using the adorable word he had made up in my own sentence.
"Hello? I am here too, guys." Bella said, blowing a small strand of hair off her forehead with her arms crossed.
"Love you too, Bellaboo." Joey said, giving her a small hug. I smiled. It's always such a great feeling to see your children get along nicely. I never thought they'd be saying those two words to each other, not now at least.
"Go on and play, guys. How about that? Your food is finished anyway. Good job on cleaning up your whole plate this time," I said, impressed that everything had been eaten.
"Thanks, Daddy." Bella smiled. "Lacey loved the food."
"Wait, what? Bella, I swear if you fed her that food." I warned. She just giggled and continued to give me mischievous looks. My eyes grew wide. I lowered my voice and said, "Arabella Marie Styles, if you fed your food - that I spent ages cooking to your dog - Then-"
"Daddy, I'm kidding!" Bella interrupted, laughing.
"Alright, alright. How about you go and play?" I asked.
"Do you really think that all we ever do is play?" Joey asked.
"Well, I know you don't play." I said, laughing. "You've probably got a book to read or something to collect."
"Yeah, cause he's a nerd." Bella teased.
"If I'm a nerd, I'm smart. I don't see how that's an insult," Joey said.
"I didn't understand anything you said because you're a nerd," Bella said.
Oh, Saturday mornings. One second they're saving they love each other, the next they're bickering like two birds. My two kids, they're very different. Joey's more mature, I know that when he's older, he's going to be doing magnificent things. Bella's more adventurous and cheeky, she's absolutely wild. She'll do magnificent things too, I'm sure. I am not going to lie though, but I hope she finds a talent soon.
"Maybe it's just because you're dumb," Joey said.
"Enough, enough." I stopped. "Both of you, stop arguing. Or else, you know what will happen."
"What?" Joey asked.
"You know what." I smirked.
"I forgot," He replied.
"I'll remind you, I said. Then, I reminded, "If you two don't stop bickering, I will tell another joke."
"Say no more, Daddy!" Bella said, quickly jumping off her chair.
"We're leaving right away!" Joey said, doing the exact same thing. The second those words left my mouth, they were absolutely horrified and their jaws were hanging open. They frantically shook their heads and held their hands up in front of me, waving them.
"Works every time." I said, smirking to myself. Harry, one. Kids, zero.
. They didn't leave until they quickly rushed to place their plates in the kitchen. They tucked their chairs in. After doing so, they ran off to play and escaped from the horror they would've experienced from hearing my jokes.
"Those two are certainly hyper this morning," Erin said, walking into the room. I saw that she was wearing a small gown, her hair was in a tiny bun, and she was stirring her coffee. She had to watch her step since the kids were running. She smiled at me and greeted, "Good morning, Harry."
"Morning, Erin." I responded. I stared at her, and realized that right now there was no one around us. Grace was still asleep in her room, I had decided to leave her there so nothing would look obvious. Should I tell her about the divorce now?
"Hey, babe." Erin flashed me a smile. Oh no, I can't her. Not this woman, she doesn't deserve it. But Harry, the more games you play, the worse it becomes. My conscience reminded me.
"Take a seat, Erin." I offered. She furrowed her eyebrows and obeyed me, sitting in front of me. I could not believe I was doing this. I started, "I need to talk to you about something important. Something serious."
"Harry, you are scaring me." Erin whispered. "What's wrong, honey?"
"Shh," I hushed her. I cleared my throats and said, "Listen, Erin. You are such a strong woman, very empowering. I aspire to be like you. I want you to know that."
"Harry, I know that." Erin said, nodding her head understandingly. "Please tell me what's going on, darling. What's happening?"
"I've been feeling this way for a while. I know our marriage hasn't even lasted that long yet but, I can't keep doing this. I love you, I do. I just," I stopped mid-sentence when I saw her face beginning to fall, and her lips starting to quiver. I said, "I don't know how I'm going to say this. I can't do this anymore, Erin."
"D-Do what anymore?" Erin asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I want to divorce you."
Erin's eyes were left wide. In that moment, a single tear rolled down her cheek. She bit her lip, and started at me. Her mind began to process what just came out of my mouth. Her chest rose up and down. Her voice trembled, "H-Harry, no.."
"I.. I apologize for this, Erin." I answered. The woman in front of me - who had been alone almost all of her daughter's life - wiped her tears, and looked down at the ground with ready eyes.
"You want to.. divorce me?" She whispered. Erin stared at me, observing my face for an answer, for anything. "I can't believe you just said that. Are you.. serious?"
"I am serious," I replied. I know it's hard, Harry. You have got to do this. You're doing this for everyone's benefit.
"H-Have I not been good enough?" Erin whispered, wiping her tears away and staring at me. I remained silent, and her breathing became unsteady. Her voice trembled ad she asked, "I-I don't understand.."
"No, Erin. You have been perfect. It's not you, okay?-"
"Why, Harry? Why?" Erin asked, emphasizing on the repeated word. She sniffed, "Please just give me a reason. Do you not love me anymore? I-Is there somebody else? I just want to know.. I love you, Harry. I really love you!"
"I know you do. You deserve the world. Both you and your daughter," I said.
"Harry, I need an answer. That wasn't an answer. Why do you want to leave me?" Erin asked. She looked down and pushed her hair back. What she said next made my heart ache, "Why does everybody want to leave me?"
"Erin, no. Don't say that. I am doing this because I feel that it's right. I've been feeling this way, and I just.. Oh God, I am so sorry," I rambled.
"Is there somebody else?" She whispered. "Do you really just want to end everything we've had? You really want to give it all up and forget about it like it never happened? Harry, what have I done to not make you feel comfortable in this relationship?-"
"It's not you, Erin. It's not. You are perfect. You have been nothing but great to me. You have done nothing but treat me well-"
"Harry, you need to give me an answer! Why do you want to leave me? I need to know why. I love you more than life itself!"
It's because I'm in love with your daughter, that's why.