It's a little different this story so bear with it and I hope you enjoy :-)
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Like every relationship we had to work extremely hard at ours. Like all couples we inevitably had to face the 'six year hitch' and what a horrible eighteen months that was, I honestly didn't think we would make it through the other side. Months of depression, days of not even talking to each other and hours of not looking into each other's eyes, yeah it was hard.
Friends around us were coming to the same period of their own relationships and they were sinking quicker than the Titanic so I was understandably petrified. I loved my partner Micah with all of my heart but I guess it was my fault we were suffering through this 'hitch' and I know it's no excuse but he was my first. Even after all of this time the fact that I was gay is still a surprise to me and it was for this reason that I was creating tension.
Before I go into details I want to let you know something to at least make you think about all of the facts before jumping down my neck. I never fought my feelings and I never once denied them, I put my all into making my relationship with Micah work and I think the first six years have proved that right?
So where were we yeah the 'hitch' well it had come about because I was questioning whether I had made the right decision or not? I rushed into the relationship I had never even looked at a man before, then I met Micah and his smile- god that smile! The next thing I know I am drunk, squeezing his arse and telling other people off for coming on to him. I am such an embarrassing person.
I told my family after just two weeks, what I was thinking I will never know. It may never have worked out but I hate lying to people especially myself and I was convinced this wouldn't be a fling so why wait? Now however I can't help but think about what I had always had drummed into me, what about the perfect wife and kids. I always wanted a family but would I be able to have that with Micah? I wasn't so sure.
So I became a petty, childish boyfriend and made him suffer too while I decided if he was good enough for me or not. Harsh? Yeah I know. Even my siblings who never even liked Micah were on his side, my sister Hannah even threatened me with my life saying that I didn't deserve him and never would and what can I say it was probably true.
There is a happy ending to this backstory though and I guess that's where the story really begins. We made it through when most couples around us were failing, splitting up or divorcing one another. When I came though it I looked at Micah with new eyes, he quickly became my everything all over again and I was so happy that he had the patience of a saint. He could have left me at any time during that period I think a few times I actually told him to leave but he didn't, he stood by me.
I decided right there that I may not be able to have the ordinary family with kids but I could make my own extraordinary one with Micah. So what if we were both men we had the right to have the same happy ending as everyone else and I guess it had just taken me a while to realise this. So as they say when one door closes another opens and we decided to make our own version of happy ever after.
Unfortunately this is once again a time where you probably want to hit me across the head but there was no romantic gesture from me when it came to proposing. I didn't get a ring or get down on one knee, I didn't plaster his face on the big screen at a football match and I certainly didn't embarrass myself in a restaurant in front of a million people. It just came to me, we hadn't even discussed it to be honest most of this conflict had been going on inside my head for the last eighteen months. Even when we had come through it I didn't relay everything to him.
We went out for tea one night and we were talking about our future, happy that we had survived and deciding where we wanted to go from there. So like I said no romantic gestures, I simply just told him that we should get married and have kids and his face lit up and he agreed. I don't think Micah ever expected it to be all clichéd so just putting the question out there at all was a surprise to him. I also don't believe for one moment he was waiting for me to ask it was just a spur of the moment thing.
I think it took a while for it to sink in for the both of us, because a few weeks later we were watching the TV and he turned to me and asked if we were really going to do this. When I nodded and smiled he went straight back to what he was doing but he had a small smile playing on his lips for the rest of the evening. The next day we decided we might as well tell our families, again there was no reason to wait.
I made the stupid mistake of texting my mam the details and I don't think I heard the end of it for at least a month. How her eldest could be so cruel as to text important information such as that and for believing that she would give me a hard time for it. She is right, she is always right that is exactly what I had expected and that is exactly why I had chosen to text her. However she surprised us both and after she had gotten over the heart-breaking text message she was thrilled and began planning straight away.
Hannah was equally as excited and dove straight into planning the wedding alongside my mother, I could tell right now that they would be impossible. But as Micah rightly reminded me she was paying for most of it so it wouldn't exactly be acceptable to argue- too much anyway.
Micah's family had a slightly different approach, his brother was twelve so he didn't care about anything at all. His mam looked like she had a bad taste in her mouth and his Nana who he was extremely close to asked him why he would want to get married when things were ok the way that they were. It's safe to say I was the reason behind that and in all fairness I had expected his mother's reaction as we had never gotten along but his Nana's reaction surprised and slightly pissed me off.
I made it my mission in life from then on to do anything I could to annoy them both, choosing the opposite of what they wanted every time. I know I am acting all childish again but when it comes to those two everything is my fault, especially when Micah doesn't see them often enough they act as if I chain him to the bed to stop him going.
Micah and I decided we wanted to keep it traditional as possible despite how unconventional our marriage would be. After going through several venues with two failed attempts at booking them in for our date we were struggling to find somewhere nice to hold it. Our first choice was making all of the decisions for us and it made us slightly unhappy as it was our day no one else's so they had to go. The second decided they would book us in then two weeks later close down for a year for renovations, so they called us in to ask if we wanted to get married on a building site or take our money back.
It was after that unpleasant phone call that Hannah was flipping through magazines for venues when I spotted a picture of a very grand looking house with a happy couple standing outside. I remember saying that I wished we could have somewhere like that because I loved everything old fashioned but I have never seen anywhere in the North like that. She squealed as she read the article properly and discovered that this actual building was only twenty minutes away from us in Beamish.
We all drove up together the next day, turns out it wasn't a house anymore but a hotel but that did not take away any of the beauty from the place. It was spectacular in its size and it looked exactly how I had wanted old fashioned and grand and right then I had made my decision, if we were going to do this it had to be here.
We were given a tour and taken to the room where we would be married and the room where the reception would take place afterwards. Both of them were beautiful and I was surprised at how excited I was actually feeling, I looked at Micah and my feelings were mirrored in his features as he was beaming.
In the next few months with the help of Hannah and my mam we had everything booked in and deposits paid on everything from cars to flowers, and a photo booth to cake. It was slowly becoming very real and I began to panic, not the cold feet type of panic but the feeling that people won't come or enjoy themselves kind of panic. It wasn't even about the money that would be wasted if no one turned up, it was about wanting this to be perfect for the both of us.
The first suit fitting was a good experience, Micah looked so good in a suit and it took a lot of my strength not to rip it off in the changing room and take him there and then. I left the shop red faced and uncomfortable, Micah chuckling beside me until he eventually felt sorry for me and took me home.
Before we knew it time had flown and it was the night before our wedding and at the insistence of Hannah, Micah was shipped out and had to spend the night at his Nana's with his best man. I sat and sipped champagne that my mam had provided, then I went to bed early because all of the women in my house at this point were going to have my head battered.
I was woken early the next morning by said women banging on my bedroom door and the only reasons I did not chew their heads off was because, one they had a bacon sandwich with them and two because I remembered it was my wedding day. In five hours I would be standing beside my gorgeous boyfriend and we would become one, and I would become a James.
I had decided to take his name, I wasn't fussed on my surname and well Daniel James sounds better than Daniel Cockburn-James. Why is it that no one ever pronounces that name right, maybe it's because they think they are funny when they say cock-burn rather than the correct pronunciation of Co-burn.
Anyway after my bacon sandwich my mam forced me into the shower and I scrubbed myself clean, then brushed my teeth twice just to make sure. Styling my hair and spraying myself with aftershave, I climbed into my suit just in time for her to wander into my room uninvited again. She helped me with my cravat and then she promptly began to cry on me, something about how her baby was all grown up and getting married and becoming a man at last- charming!
When the time came I stepped into the fancy car that my mam had insisted upon, taking her with me as she would be the one that would walk me down the aisle. Hannah had told me that Micah's car was running late so I was in a blind panic all the way to Beamish Hall, things like 'he is going to stand me up' or 'he is going to be hours late and miss it' wouldn't stop running through my mind.
When I climbed out of the car all of the wedding party was already here except for Micah, I moved into the Hall and stopped outside of the room we would be married in. The registrar clearly couldn't see that I was distressed as she chose that time to hound me with inappropriate questions that I had already answered before. Things like were we brothers, were we illegal immigrants, did we share the same blood, I mean what?! Go away woman!
When she had finished stressing me out I heard a lot of commotion and Hannah came running over to tell me that he was finally here. When he walked in his face was automatically fixed into an apology he must have known I would be panicking. I watched as the irritating registrar made a beeline for him and once he had successfully shrugged her off he made his way over to me.
We were told to wait outside while all of the guests filtered into the room, as I waited I began to get nervous again this was it I was getting married. I took a look at my surroundings and there was a few posh looking women sitting in the plush leather seats in reception not even trying to hide the fact that they were talking about us. I suppose you don't get to see two men getting married every day and although I wasn't angry at them I needed to move and soon before I ran for the hills in terror or growled at them.
A gentle squeeze of my hand told me Micah had noticed too and he was trying to reassure me and tell me to ignore them. Once again the doors to the room opened and we were told to come in, so Micah walked in first with his Mam and then I followed with my own. A composer friend of mine had made us music and it was playing gently behind us, it was beautiful and so much better than the traditional wedding march.
My legs were shaking uncontrollably and I looked around to try and take my mind off them, I saw my friends some smiling others crying their eyes out and this made me laugh. With renewed confidence I walked up to Micah who was now at the front of the room and I stood beside him as my mam kissed my cheek and sat down.
For the sake of the story I should probably tell you that everything went smoothly from that point onwards but that would be a lie. Micah screwed up everything the registrar asked him to repeat, he had all of our friends and family in fits of laughter while I stood there almost stamping my foot. He looked at me sheepishly and my anger melted, not everything could be perfect and by making people laugh he had successfully made a memory for everyone.
We exchanged rings and said our 'I do's' then she officially made us husbands. We became one, we belonged to one another Daniel and Micah James and I knew it would last forever. We had made it through the worst of times and ended up married, sharing the same name and rings.
Despite the rocky start the rest of the evening did go smoothly, everyone who was invited and more turned up for the reception and the comments about how lovely it was were so nice to hear. The photo booth went down a storm and doubled up as our guest book so we could put faces to the messages left by our guests. Everyone drank and danced the night away and Micah and I were no exception, it was so much fun and when I had the chance to stop for a few minutes and look around I was so proud of us.
It had been a successful night and I was happy that everyone had enjoyed a night they would remember. Most of all I was happy that I would go home tomorrow Daniel James and I wouldn't be going home with my boyfriend but with my Husband.
Becoming a James was a hard journey but ultimately it was worth every single step of the way.
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Based on the Lyrics to 2 become 1 by the Spice Girls. It's partially a true story this one so I hope its ok lol.