Collection of One Shot's

Chasing the Dragon

This room is disgusting, groups of half cut people lying around on filthy mattresses, floating off in Neverland somewhere. I walked around trying not to disturb them, constantly watching my footing as the floor was littered with empty cans of beer and used needles. Some of them might be dead and I am not sure anyone in here would care, as I searched for the person I was here for I took a quick look around the room.

We were in an abandoned house, most of the people lying about were squatters and if I was the owner of this property I would be fuming. Squatter’s rights are the stupidest thing I have ever heard of but I am not a squatter, or a landlord, so I don’t care. The windows were so dirty that very little light could permeate them, there was no electric so there was half used candles everywhere and there was no plumbing so the stench from the cesspit that they had created infused every room.

I gulped down the bile that continuously climbed into my throat and ploughed on through the repulsive mess. A few moments later I found who I was looking for, he was sitting at a table on one of the only chairs in the building counting money. As I walked towards him he looked up at me and his eyes were black as night, he turned away from me and pulled out a bag from his pocket and tossed it on the table in front of me.

I pulled a wad of cash out and threw it back to him, he went back to counting his money without uttering a single word. I grabbed my bag and left the rancid room as fast as my feet could carry me, when I got outside I stopped for a moment to take a few deep breaths in an attempt to rid my lungs of the putrid air.

Once I felt better I walked quickly away from the suspicious building, it was notorious for police raids because they were looking for any reason to kick them all out. When I was safe enough away for my liking I smiled at my success, there was another good night for me on the cards. It was then however that Tom’s words played in my head and ruined my high before it had even begun.

Tom was my ex-boyfriend, the love of my life. He didn’t stick around and when I tell you why I can bet everything I own that you will be on his side, but do I seriously look like a give a fuck? You have probably already guessed why, but just to clarify I am a heroin addict, a poison person, a Schmecker.

I still have to see him though we own a house together, I always believed that people who love you are supposed to have confidence in you and help you through tough times. I mean I would understand if I was still a constant user but I am not, he accused me of being on the Schmack again and I wasn’t I swear down, but he wouldn’t believe me and he left me, told me it was over.

Tom and I have been together two years, two wonderfully, blissfully, CLEAN years. We moved in together after I got out of rehab, I suppose in relationship terms it was quite quick as it was our six month anniversary. I never looked back I made a promise to him and I stuck to that promise and despite all of that hard work, years of denying my body the thing it craved the most he left me.  It never compared to him you know, the heroin it was nothing like Tom that’s why I never gave up but he was always paranoid around me, watching my every move.

So now well, I guess now I might as well go ahead and commit the crime of which I stand accused. So I head home quickly trying not to look too suspicious, this shit just cost me two hundred quid so I am not about to have it taken by the police. When I get home I run around the house to make sure I am alone and the smile that lights up my face when I realise I am is like a spotlight. I stop in the sitting room and pull out my gear, tinfoil and a lighter, then I pour some on the foil and get ready to heat it.

That when the devil himself walks through the front door straight into the sitting room, when he spots what I am about to do his face turns from blushed pink caused by the cold wind to puce.

“What in god’s name are you doing?! I knew you were back on it, I told you.” He screamed.

“I wasn’t back on it, but now I intend to do the very thing that I stand accused of.” I drawled.

“You piece of shit, you give up everything for that?! You gave up me!” He snapped.

“NO! You gave up me Tom, you didn’t trust me and I begged you to believe me and you left anyway. I was telling the god damn truth! So now what you gunna do huh?! Tell me you’re sorry, take me back? I doubt it! So leave me the hell alone Tom, I got nothing else to lose!” I snapped back.

“Nothing to lose? Nothing to lose! How about your life Matt?! I still love you and I don’t want you to die that’s why I jump to conclusions all of the time and I am sorry if you hate that in me but you were acting like you did in the beginning, so excuse me for being paranoid.” He yelled.

“Too late for that, I have it now and I’m a filthy addict right?” I snapped.

“Please Matt, please don’t do this! I am sorry.” He pleaded.

“Sorry Tom.” I replied genuinely.

I turned from him and struck up my lighter and held it underneath the foil to heat up, once it began to smoke slightly I leant over it and took a deep breath. The fumes were strong and I could hear Tom spluttering, I looked up at him and he was crying now.

“I can’t watch you do this, I can’t sit around and watch you kill yourself.” He cried and walked out.

Once I was finished I lay back on the couch until the initial nausea passed, good kick wasn’t too bad and didn’t last too long. When the real high came I was floating and it felt amazing, I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror and my eyes were pinned. I looked like shit but at this point I didn’t care my high was taking me to another world and I felt utterly relaxed.

Doesn’t last long though, I could feel them coming down and soon enough the polka dots filled my eyes. Thoughts came crashing back into my mind like a tonne weight, crushing me and the main one, the chief memory was Tom. He is such a sweet person and he never deserved me in the first place but this is life, it’s a cruel world and we don’t always get a pretty painted picture.

He is gone! I need to remember that, and I am going back to the world I came from. He helped me climb out of this hole and now he has helped me back into it, even if that wasn’t his intention. Tom knows I am a weak person and without him I have nothing but my black tar and China white.

I lay there after my come down, it felt like an age. With the withdrawal of the high came the onslaught of depression, the constant feeling of never being good enough. It’s probably true though, when Tom met me I was in rehab for the fourth time (I had rich parents). Notice I said had. After I was released from rehab, the need for Heroin was so great that I relapsed and within two weeks I was back in. This time however they refused to pay and told me I was no longer their son, Tom stupidly fell in love with me and he paid on the condition that I would come back to him sober and stay that way.

I did it too, I loved him back. He was my everything and the high that I felt when I was with him both intimately and platonically would always beat the feeling that I got from Heroin. But he said goodbye, so what is he going to do? He can’t do anything, he has no say in this and so the polka dots will continue to fill my eyes.

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Based on The Libertines. What Katie Did.