Picture by SarahGarciaDonaire (deviantART). Thank you, my dear.
"Best advice I can give you on relations... make sure you're the crazy one."
-Anon
Thank you very much for the many reviews. I hope my story continues to be satisfactory.
Okay, so I was planning on posting this chapter with the preliminary fights, but those fights were kicking my ass. I simply could not get motivated to write out all the fight scenes fast enough.
So I chose to break up the Chūnin Exams into 2 (maybe 3?) chapters. So here you go everyone.
Disclaimer: Naruto is Kishimoto's toy. I'm just playing with it.
Edit: 6/24/14
Edit: 6/6/17
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
"Good morning, my lovelies," I greeted Naruto and Sasuke. Kakashi had told our team last night to meet him on the Unmei (literally meaning fate) Bridge that day. He said we would be taking a break from training, and moving onto something more exciting.
Naruto grinned widely upon seeing me, rushing over and throwing his arms around my neck. I hugged him back, equally enthusiastic. I had successfully conditioned Naruto to crave my hugs (not that it was hard, the poor darling was already so starved for attention). "Good morning, Sakura-chan!"
I patted his back as Naruto released me, hopping from one foot to the other in anticipation. "Kaa-chan actually made our lunches today. She wanted me to give you some dinner, too, Naru-chan."
Naruto's eyes lit up like fireworks and he grabbed the two extremely large bento boxes from me. Sasuke gently (in comparison to Naruto, at least) took his own lunch with a quiet thank you. Naruto said, "I promise I'll stop by this weekend to return the boxes!"
"Much appreciated," I said.
Sasuke, in turn, handed me his previous bento box.
The team didn't always eat together. For the past couple of weeks Kakashi alternated between a full day's worth of training, or doing a few D-Rank missions for half a day. On half days, sometimes the three of us stayed to train (which required much bribing on my part to convince Sasuke to stay), or go off on our own. I had hoped for a chance to train with Hinata again, but the two of us kept missing our chances. She sometimes stopped by my home while I was away to drop off little letters (to assure me she was okay and to encourage me not to steal her tou-chan's underwear) and small gifts (such as homemade balms), but otherwise than that we hadn't had much interaction.
Naruto and Sasuke had mastered water-walking within about three and a half days of practicing. On the days that we trained together, I encouraged them to spar with me while water-walking. Both boys preferred sparring over any other kind of training, and sparring while water-walking was one of the best ways to learn how to unconsciously use the technique (which was a vital skill).
Kakashi appeared before us, his right arm lifting up as he accurately predicted my tackle hug. I glomped onto Kakashi, throwing enough weight into my take off, he stumbled back. I wrapped my legs and arms around him, burying my face in his the crook of his neck. Kakashi shifted his posture, readjusting me slightly so he could see the two boys.
"Good morning my precious minions," Kakashi greeted us.
"Morning, Sensei!" Naruto exclaimed.
I nuzzled. "Good morning, my love."
"What are we doing today?" Sasuke asked.
Kakashi rubbed my back, quietly signalling for me to let him go. With much reluctance, I began to slowly release my hold. First I unhooked my legs, then after one last nuzzle, I stopped hugging him.
Instead of burying my face in his neck, though, I moved on to keep it firmly pressed into his chest, with my arms tucked behind me (so he could still see my hands).
There was a heartbeat of silence, as Kakashi seemed to be deciding what to do with me, before I felt him shrug, then he said, "I actually have a surprise for the three of you. I've enlisted you all in the Chūnin Exams—"
"Yatta!" Naruto shouted, leaping up and down. "You're the best Kaka-sensei!"
Kakashi scratched at the back of his head with one hand, and with his other hand he presented us with three slips of papers. I lifted my head up long enough to grab one of the papers, before I went right on back to admiring the amazingness of Kakashi as up close and personal as I could.
"You don't have to enter if you don't want to," Kakashi said, ignoring the snorts from Sasuke and myself, "but if you do choose to enter, be sure to go to that location on the form at fourteen hundred tomorrow. The Exams are difficult, more so than anything you guys have ever faced, so don't feel ashamed if—"
"I'm getting my Icha Icha," I whispered into his chest.
"You cannot throw yourself into a dangerous situation for the sake of good porn," Kakashi patiently told me.
"I wouldn't need to if you bought the collector's edition set for me."
"Oh, it's the collector's edition now?"
"You have it! Therefore I must have it, too," I explained. "How else can I use the pick up lines that apparently turn you on?"
Kakashi shook his head. "I don't get turned on—" Naruto and Sasuke snorted loudly at that, at which Kakashi glared at them. "I read it for the story, really."
"If it's such a good story why not let Sakura read it?" Sasuke questioned, cocking his head and folding his arms over his chest, bento still in hand. "It'll get her off your back long enough to read the stories."
Kakashi stared at him. "A few days worth of peace is not worth a lifetime terror."
"I just wanna love you," I whined.
"Your definition of loving me is illegal right now."
"If loving someone with all their heart is illegal then throw me in prison forever," I cried out.
Kakashi patted my head, giving me his sexy eye smile. "I would if I could."
They all chuckled as I dropped to my knees from the sheer weight those cruel words forced upon me. While I tried to recover, Naruto asked Kakashi, "Is that all you wanted us for?"
"Yep," Kakashi answered, making the p pop.
"Kakashi-sensei?" I asked sweetly, many ideas beginning to swarm inside my head.
"Yes, Sakura-chan?"
"The Chūnin Exams... in between Part One and Part Two, are there breaks?"
"Technically no," Kakashi said, cocking his head. "The proctor may allow participants a breather, but legally speaking the Exams are continuous between the first two parts."
A Cheshire grin stretched across my face, as I realized my plan would indeed work.
Naruto turned to me. "Why do you ask?"
"You'll see," I purred.
"I would really rather not," Kakashi said.
And he was gone, and I was left crying on the inside at his lack of enthusiasm for my entirely epic plan(s).
Sasuke shook his head, turning to face me. I was slowly getting up, my heart now recovered from the love of my life's utter disinterest and rejection. "Sakura, were you able to be successful with those plants I gave you?"
A sheepish look crossed my face, and I cringed. The Uchiha Compound had a massive garden that Sasuke hired Genin to take care of for him. I had a feeling that his father actually maintained the garden previously (from off handed comments) which really surprised me, but it would explain why Sasuke didn't uproot any in favor of another training ground after the massacre.
The garden did not have flowers, or vegetables, but housed a variety of hallucinogenic, poisonous, and dangerous plants.
Apparently Sasuke's mother enjoyed coating her weapons in various poisons, and Sasuke's father started the garden in order to grow special poisons to woo her. What a romantic!
Uchiha romance aside, the poisonous garden was something I was greatly interested in. It was difficult to find a fighting style to supplement my iryo training. As much as I wanted to be an in-your-face-frontline-fighter, as an iryo-nin, I had to be cautious. In all of Tsunade's books, she could not stress the importance of the iryo-nin staying alive and capable of healing his/her comrades. Besides, Team Seven already had two dedicated fighters who were powerhouses.
For the sake of team dynamics and being smart, I chose not to be a frontline fighter, but to embrace my support role like the teamplayer I was.
That being said, there were not a lot of offensive techniques I could add to my arsenal. I wanted to learn genjutsu, but I needed an active volunteer to practice the skill on—something of which both boys were not up for no matter the bribery offered. Without the ability to practice genjutsu consistently, that was temporarily thrown out.
Next thought was ninjutsu, but Kakashi flat out rejected that idea because my chakra capacity was too low (which was steadily being rectified).
Then Naruto threw out the offhanded suggestion about poisons.
And it was like matchmade in heaven.
Poisons were versatile and were the perfect fit for any aspiring iryo-nin.
They were not easily learned, though. The only textbook on creating poisons available to someone of the Genin rank held no dangerous /easily useful recipes. The most extreme poison in it was a hallucinogenic that made people intensely intoxicated for a few minutes at most before wearing off. Upon being entered into the bloodstream, it acted instantaneously, but since it wore off so quickly it wasn't something to be relied upon. The book mostly contained various sedatives, and was more focused on identifying poisons and creating antidotes.
I was not deterred, though, and I was determined to acquire the skill. Even if the poisons in it were not practical in an obvious sense, learning how to make poisons would be vital if I ever wanted to create my own special brew.
So, I needed the equipment and materials to practice making the recipes.
Sasuke obliged providing the plants in exchange for food, rights to order me to be silent for an entire mission (which I forced him to already use all of his chances on our D-Ranks the past week). Naruto actually had a good chunk of the equipment (for his elaborate pranks, apparently), and the rest Kaa-chan bought for me.
"Uh," I hedged. "Technically yes? Um. I was able to make one batch of the hallucinogenic, and two sedatives."
Sasuke stared at me, a slow insufferable smirk crawling across his face. "Out of how many tries?"
I fidgeted. "... Thirty nine."
He chuckled at my obvious embarrassment, while Naruto consoled me. "They must have been really hard."
"It's chemistry," I mumbled. "A-And it's not like the recipe gives me step by step instructions! I, I, I had to do a lot of trial and error—and then, and then after the first explosion Kaa-chan made me work outside and the wind kept messing me up!"
"I'm sure," Sasuke condescendingly responded.
I stuck out my tongue at him.
Sasuke scoffed at me. "I'm heading out. I'll see you all tomorrow for the exams."
Naruto nodded his head enthusiastically. "Oh, yeah! I gotta get ready. See you guys tomorrow."
"Bye," I mumbled as the duo rushed off in opposite directions.
Weren't we supposed to meet Gaara today?
'Oh, yeah! Wait. How come we didn't? How did I change that?'
For some reason the thought made me uneasy. I wasn't trying to actively change that encounter, yet that's what I ended up doing without even trying. The differences that should have happened were Haku and Zabuza living, and Hinata and I becoming badasses way sooner than our canon counterparts. How did those things factor into preventing Naruto and Sasuke from meeting Gaara?
Well, maybe we can still find him. This should be the day they come into Konoha, right?
'How are we supposed to find him?'
We're chakra sensitive, right? That's prepubescent of being chakra sensors. Surely we can try to sense Shukaku's jinchūriki?
'So we just walk around the village trying to see if we can sense a big ball of malicious chakra?'
Got any better plans?
'Nope!'
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
I must have wandered around Konoha for an hour before I got an odd tingly sensation in the back of my mind. It reminded me of a swarm of buzzing bees, or a sand storm—that kind of constant buzzing/grinding noise. The odd sensation perked my interest enough that I began to "feel" for it.
Sensing through chakra was weird. I felt like I was trying to find a dying flashlight on a hot summer day, only able to find it by feeling for its warmth because all my other senses were nonexistent.
Weird. With a capital w.
It was doable, but it made me feel awkward. I continued to head north in Konoha until the buzzing/grinding sensation was overwhelming.
My eyes roamed around, widening once I saw the source of the sensation.
There they were. For a moment, I was stupefied because I couldn't believe I actually found Gaara and his siblings through sensing them with my chakra.
That moment did not last long, however, because I realized that Temari was arguing quietly with Kankurō, gesturing towards a map. Seeing my chance, I hurried over to them.
"Hi! Welcome to Konoha. You guys look lost, need any help?" I offered, my words coming out in a breathless rush. "I'm always happy to help cuties."
Temari flashed me a brilliant smile. "Do you know where the Sunbeam Hotel is?"
I nodded. "Yeah, it's on the opposite side of the village."
That made Temari shoot Kankurō a dirty look, at which the puppeteer shrugged.
"I'd be glad to take you all there. I'm Haruno Sakura."
"Temari," Temari offered, "and these are my brothers, Gaara and Kankurō."
I took her hands in my own, bowing down and kissing the back of them. "It is a great pleasure to meet such a beautiful kunoichi like yourself."
She yanked her hands back, eyeing me oddly. "Right. Lead the way, Haruno."
"Just Sakura," I told her, turning my back towards them and beginning to make my way through the streets. Many of the villagers unconsciously gave a wide berth to the jinchūriki. I wasn't worried, though, because Shukaku was pretty fun person.
A bit sadistic, cynical, and twisted, but fun. He was the perfect cross between a tsundere and a yandere. If he was an option in an otome or visual novel, I'd hop all over that fun route.
Along the way, I purchased a wicker basket filled with flowers and began to idly twist them into crowns. I pointed out the sights to each of them, giving them an impromptu tour. By the time we reached the hotel, I had finished five flower crowns.
"Here we are," I said with a flourish, bowing to the trio outside the hotel.
Temari smirked at me. "Thanks for the tour, guide-chan."
I giggled at her. "You're most welcome, pretty lady. I have one more thing for you all." Facing Gaara first, I took out the first crown and gently placed it atop his head. His pale gaze met my own, and I could feel the tension from all three of them from my actions. Because I did not hold any ill intent towards Gaara, and he clearly did not view me as a threat, Shukaku/Karura's sand defense did not trigger.
Nonplussed from the intense stare Gaara gave me, I placed crowns on Temari and Kankurō.
"I hope you all have a lovely stay here," I said, not even flinching when I felt Gaara's killing intent focus in on me. Temari and Kankurō winced at it, unconsciously stepping away from me.
"You are not scared," Gaara stated.
Frowning, I turned back to face him. "What kind of future best friend would I be if I was scared of you? Besides, Shukaku is a cutie, too. I love you, Shukaku. Kurama loves you, too, even if he's a narcissistic asshole. He's just a tsundere, you see."
The perplexed look on Gaara's face was positively priceless. Silence fell between all of us before Gaara broke it by saying, "Okaa-san says you're lying."
I placed both hands on my hips. "Shukaku, what would Hagoromo say if he knew you were calling your future self-appointed mother a liar?"
"Okaa-san wants you to be quiet."
"That's what I thought," I retorted. "Anyway, I have to head out. It was lovely meeting you all. And to reiterate: Kurama is a tsundere."
Gaara tilted his head. "You're making Okaa-san laugh."
"Tell Okaa-san that I call him Kurama of the Fluff, too. To his face. And I plan on spanking him at some point in the future."
Gaara nodded slowly, the killing intent dying off from focusing on me. "Okaa-san likes you."
I winked. "The first step into winning someone over to coerce them into a harem is to receive the parent's blessing. Not a necessary step, but it makes it easier!"
"What," Temari whispered, entirely bewildered.
"Gaara will inevitably join my harem," I explained to them. "There is no stopping that. Shukaku-sama will join eventually, as well."
"What," Kankurō echoed.
"Ooo, look at that time, I gotta go. Peace on earth and all that, bah-bye."
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
"The Chūnin Exams?" Kaa-chan repeated, her pretty green eyes lighting up. "How wonderful, Sa-chan!"
I beamed at my completely awesome kaa-chan, pausing in devouring my absolutely delicious meal that night in order to do so. Tou-chan reached over and ruffled my hair affectionately. "That's our girl, though."
The gesture made me remember another one of Sakura's memories, and I felt a surge of affection from that memory towards Kaa-chan and Tou-chan. I had almost all of her childhood memories of Tou-chan and Kaa-chan by that point, along with some strong attachment to said people. I sincerely wished I had these parents instead of my first set, but c'est la vie.
It might seem a little odd to adopt brand new parents—especially in the way that I had done so, taking over their daughter's body—but at times it genuinely felt like I was Sakura and they were my parents. It was difficult to fight the sensation, and for brief flashes I could even forget about my first life and wholly embrace the current one.
I lapped up their praise for that night, enjoying the utter love and warmth they held for us—me?
It was a non-existent thing in my first life, so I figured I should cherish all I could get in my second life.
When dinner was over, I headed up to my room and prepared for my epic plan to conquer the Chūnin Exams.
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
The next morning, I took my time to double check that I had everything prepared. I ran through my checklist several times, and only when I was satisfied, did I leave to meet with the team.
Naruto and Sasuke were waiting for me a little ways from the academy. "Good morning!"
"Good morning," Naruto cheerfully greeted.
I placed small snacks in each of their hands. "Kaa-chan says that we should make sure that we have plenty of energy for the Exams."
Naruto gleefully began to nibble on his onigiri, while Sasuke ate his at a slower pace. I shifted the weight of my backpack, hands free (as I had already eaten mine on the way there).
"What's in your backpack?" Naruto asked, noticing how bulgy it was.
"Duplicates," was my only response.
"Duplicates of—"
"You're a cutie," I told him, patting his cheek before turning and heading inside the the academy.
I felt both of them follow behind me, taking note that Sasuke's chakra reminded me of carpet shock, and Naruto's felt like a bonfire. Kakashi's chakra reminded me of the flower asphodel.
Did I mention how chakra sensing was weird?
Because it was.
It was really, really weird.
We headed up the stairs, and upon rounding the corner we found an abundance of Genin standing outside a room.
"Please, just let us through," Tenten pleaded with the fake-Genin-who-were-actually-Chūnin guarding the door.
I called out, "I wouldn't bother, people-from-Gai's-team. That's not the right room—it's under a genjutsu."
All eyes snapped towards me, and I smiled happily. Tenten, Lee, and Neji recognized me almost instantly, because Lee gasped. "You're the brave maiden who defended your friend against Hyūga-sama!"
"Yes," I said, ignoring the dubious looks Sasuke and Naruto gave me. "Yes I am. Seriously, though, you guys shouldn't be bothering with that. I thought Kakashi-sensei's rival's team would be smarter than that!"
Lee cringed, while Tenten looked sheepish and Neji turned his back on us, already walking away.
"Come on, my team," I said, looking over my shoulder to Sasuke and Naruto, "the real room should be upstairs."
"How'd you know that?" Naruto loudly whispered to me.
"I'm chakra sensitive," I answered. "And I can count."
Naruto nodded sagely at my response, and the three of us continued on our merry little way.
"Wait," Lee called out as the three of us entered another room. We stopped as one, each turning back to face Team Nine. "Your name, fair maiden?"
"Haruno Sakura," I said, doing a little curtsy. "My teammates are Uzumaki Naruto," I gestured towards Naruto who did a jovial wave, "and Uchiha Sasuke otherwise known as Duck Ass."
Sasuke shot me a venomous look. "Go to hell, you perverted woman."
"I'll save you a seat, dearie," I responded back cheerfully. "You guys are Gai's kiddos, right?"
"Yeah," Tenten said hesitantly. "Um. We didn't mean to listen in on your conversation with Hyūga-sama."
"It's quite alright," I reassured her. "He needed some sense knocked into him, and being the sensible person," Sasuke and Naruto snorted at that, "I am, I took it upon myself to do so."
"It was very brave, Sakura-san," Lee exclaimed. "I admire your courage, and your beauty. Please, go out with me!"
Sasuke was aghast. "Are you insane?"
I smiled at Lee. "I've decided to wait until I'm of age to date anyone, but you can join my harem."
Tenten paused. "You're not dating, but you have a harem?"
"Yes."
Lee was heartbroken. "Oh."
"If it makes you feel any better," Naruto hesitantly began, "she only has two people in her harem so far."
"Three," I corrected Naruto. "Hina-chan joined a couple weeks ago."
Naruto nodded. "Okay, three." Then he paused. "How come I'm not in the harem?"
"You are welcome to join my harem, sweetie," I told him, patting his shoulder. "I view you too much as a son, though, to do anything. You'd be like the designated cuddle-buddy in the harem."
Naruto perked up. "I love cuddles! Count me in!"
"This is irritating. Let's go, Tenten," Neji muttered, giving me a contemptuous glare.
"But," Lee began, torn, "I do not wish to—"
Tenten grabbed Lee's hand, "Come on, Lee. You can talk to Sakura-san after the Exams."
I waved goodbye as Team Nine left ahead of us, quite happy with the impression I had left up upon them. I had faith that Naruto would still get his chance to Therapy-no-Jutsu Neji, but if by some odd chance that didn't happen, I was fully prepared to lock Hiashi and Neji in the same room together until they were bestest of buddies.
Or blackmail them. Either way worked for me.
Sasuke watched them leave for a moment before shaking his head. "I can already tell these exams are going to be a hassle."
I reached over and patted his shoulder, ignoring how he instinctively flinched from my touch. As I conditioned Kakashi, I would condition Sasuke, too. Not as demanding as Kakashi for a multitude of reasons, but I was determined for Sasuke to get used to hugs, and physical contact in general. The lack of affection in his life after the massacre definitely played a huge role in his antisocial, and borderline sociopathic tendencies.
Not that I had room to judge sociopaths, or anything, but I figured he would be happier all around if he had love and affection in his life on a regular basis.
We moved at a lazy pace, entirely at ease and feeling confident for the exams. When we reached the last bit of stairs before the room with the exams, Kakashi appeared before us.
"Kaka-sensei," I cried out happily, throwing myself into his arms. He shifted his stance slightly to prepare himself for my hug-tackle. For a brief moment I could have sworn he hugged me back, but the sensation lasted no more than a second, so I couldn't be sure. Far too soon for my liking, Kakashi began the process of removing me from him.
"I'm glad you are all here," Kakashi said, giving us the sexy eye-smile. "I'm proud of each of you, and I wouldn't have recommended you three to take these exams if I wasn't confident you would ace them."
My heart soared at his praise.
Praise-whore.
My hands reached out on their own towards him and Kakashi deftly grabbed them and put them both in one of his hands. With his other hand he reached over and patted each of us on our head. I pouted at him, my bottom lip sticking out. "You always end our hugs so quickly!"
"You can hug me, Sakura-chan," Naruto happily offered. I beamed at him, turning partially towards him (as Kakashi still had a firm grip on my hands, and I took the time to wonder if his hands were simply that big, or if my hands were that small). "As the designated cuddle-buddy, I'm always ready to give out hugs."
A mischievous smile crawled its way across my face. "Okay. Hey when you see Hina-chan next, would you mind hugging her for me? I know she needs some hugs, too."
Naruto nodded. "Yeah, sure thing!"
"You're going to give her a heart attack," Sasuke deadpanned. My eyebrows rose.
"You know about her?"
"It was painfully hard not notice a girl who literally fainted in class any time Naruto was near her," Sasuke snarked.
"So sassy," I said with a coy smile. "Do you need a hug, too, little boy? Are you jealous?"
"Touch me and die," Sasuke crankily informed me.
'Oh, he so needs a hug.'
With a woeful sigh, I returned my attention to Kakashi, giving him the most pleading look I could muster. He let out a long sigh, and released his hold on me, lifting up one arm. With a delightful squeal I hugged him again, savoring how he patted my back gently. Deciding not to push him for his wondrous gift, I then turned around and latched onto Naruto to satisfy my intense desire to hug people. Naruto squeezed me tightly, being the all around ball of sunshine and love he was.
'The two of us are going to fill this world with so much love no one will ever be angsty again!'
As long as a member of the Uchiha are still alive, that's not going to happen.
'Shh. Yes it will. Everyone knows the greatest power of all is love and friendship.'
No. That would be a neutron star about to go out in style.
'Deidara would probably give his life for a chance to see that. '
Kakashi continued to eye-smile at us. "Well. I'll be watching, minions. Try not to embarrass me."
Sasuke and Naruto pointedly looked towards me, and I whistled innocently.
"Try not to sexually harass the other Genin," Kakashi told me.
"I... I don't know, man," I confessed. "The Goggle Gods told me to go on a hugging spree before the second task."
"Of course they did," Sasuke sardonically said. "Why wouldn't they do anything but enable your delusional fantasies?"
"My fantasies will not remain delusional for much longer," I vowed. "My harem will come to life, and as soon as I hit what passes for adulthood in this world, I will indulge in every fantasy my body can handle with said harem."
"You are a depraved person," Sasuke informed me.
"I didn't say they would be sexual fantasies," I pointed out. "For all you know I was referring to a 72-hour UNO marathon, or who can keep backflipping the longest before getting sick. You're the one that jumped to things of that nature."
He flushed. "You said adulthood—"
"My legs would have finished growing by the time I reach adulthood, therefore I have a greater chance of winning the backflipping contest," I explained. "Jeeze, get your mind out of the gutter."
"Yeah, Sasuke, don't be such a perverted bastard," Naruto agreed with me, grinning wickedly.
Before the Uchiha could begin throttling either of us, Kakashi cleared his throat. "Glad to see your team dynamics are strong as ever. Don't maim each other before the third part, bye."
And he was gone.
I missed him already.
Naruto clapped his right fist into his left open palm. "Alright! Let's kick some ass and take some names."
"May the Goggle Gods watch over this," I solemnly prayed.
It seemed like Sasuke was repressing the urge to sigh at us, because his face screwed up and his shoulders twitched, before decided to open the door for us.
The three of us stepped inside the exam room, and immediately I was wrapped into a tight hug.
I let out a happy giggle as I hugged Hinata back, pulling back long enough to nuzzle my nose against her's. She giggled as I did so, a light blush covering her face. "Sakura-chan, I have missed you."
"And I have missed you, my princess," I informed her, looking her up and down.
Her jacket was nowhere to be found. Instead, the heiress wore a lilac t-shirt with a little pale blue flower over her left breast. Her arms were bare, displaying her well-earned muscles. I noticed that she wore matching wristbands as me (except while mine were pink, hers were a pale blue with a lilac sakura flower in the center), with matching shinobi gloves.
She kept her standard pants, and shoes. However, I noticed that she also chose to grow her hair out a bit more.
"You look positively adorable," I told her, eliciting another blush from the girl.
"She's not the only one looking adorable today," Ino interjected, wrapping an arm around my waist. Hinata and I both welcomed the blonde spitfire into our hug, causing Ino to blush and smile happily, which made Hinata and I giggle.
"We are all adorable today," I declared, relishing the group hug and the feeling of—of warmth in our little circle.
Naruto gave a whine. "Hey now. As the designated cuddle buddy of the harem, why am I not included?"
Ino and I rolled our eyes, but lifted our arms to allow Naruto to join. Hinata let out a quiet gasp when the hero tackled into us, laughing happily to be apart of the group hug.
Poor Hinata was struggling not to faint. Her face was redder than Madara's armor, and she was borderline hyperventilating. Thankfully for her, Kiba's next crude comment triggered Ino and Naruto and to round on him and focus their embarrassment / annoyance on him.
Hinata seized the moment, and promptly hid behind me, burying her face in her hands. I patted her back consolingly, watching as Kiba and Naruto escalated their pissing contest.
Our little group continued to watch our most boisterous members bicker until I noticed a certain someone heading our way.
Kabuto approached, a smile on his face and before he opened his mouth—
I threw my shoe at him. "Get outta here, you piece of shit. Don't even open your mouth. Leave before the next thing I do is take a spoon, gouge out your eyes, and spoon feed them to you. Then choke you with said spoon."
My previous classmates gaped at me, while I glared hatefully at the lying liar who lies. Kabuto looked positively shell-shocked. "U-Um...?"
"Sakura-chan?" Hinata inquired hesitantly, entirely bewildered.
I did not give her my attention, yet, entirely focused on channeling every bit of my desire to kill the POS that was in front of me. Kabuto took a step back, playing the perfect role of being intimidated. "I-I guess I'll leave."
Only once the threat was gone, I relaxed and beamed at all my friends. "Don't worry about it, guys! But that guy is the worst kind of scum you will ever meet. I will definitely do some not nice things to him one day."
Sasuke's eyes lit up with understanding. "Wait. Is that...?"
Naruto looked between us for a moment, before he, too realized what Sasuke was asking. "Sakura-chan! Was that...?!"
"Yes," I confirmed. "His name is Kabuto, and what he has done is unforgivable."
"That guy?" Kiba asked, incredulous.
"What did he do?" Ino's brow furrowed.
"I can't say, yet," I answered. "But you guys will know within the month. And you all may very well come to hate him in the coming years."
Shikamaru spoke up for the first time since we entered the room. "If he's that bad, why is he still a Konoha Genin?"
"I can't tell you that. The Goggle Gods warned me about telling anyone about the things he has done, without solid proof. It's very dangerous."
"The—" Shikamaru began, but Naruto gave him a look, and the Nara heir fell quiet.
Then there was a big puff of smoke, and Ibiki appeared in all his bad assery.
All too happily, I pushed out the yucky thoughts of Kabuto, focused entirely on enacting the next part of my epic plan.
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
As soon as I got my test, I flipped it over and began to draw a detailed image of Kakashi and me getting married, with the Akatsuki (replacing the clouds with flowers, and they each wore masks) all around us (Hidan was the officiant), and Hinata acting as my maid of honor. I drew Tobi as Kakashi's best man, with Naruto and Sasuke as groomsmen along with Gai.
The Pack of Cuties were also dressed as groomsmen with cute little bows, and Pakkun acting as the ring bearer. All the Konoha ladies with Temari and Konan were dolled up, acting as my bridesmaids.
It was an outdoor wedding, with lots of trees, clouds, and typical wedding stuff.
I finished the picture (and shaded it) halfway through the test, and then I flipped it over and began to draw each Akatsuki duo in each box. Starting at the top left was Konan and Nagato enjoying some tea, with the ghost of Yahiko blowing kisses to Konan. Top right was Itachi and Kisame, Itachi knitting while Kisame ate some sushi. Below them was the Zombie duo, Kakuzu holding Hidan's head and smirking, while Hidan was throwing out curses. Beside them was Deidara and Sasori competing over if art was everlasting or brief. Below them was Tobi being a cutie with Mia.
To the box next to Tobi was Obito and Nao proudly holding up goggles to the Goggle Gods, then below them was Miwako, Naruto, and Kurama posing for a photo. Finally beside Miwako, Naruto and Kurama, was Madara eating cakes with Hashirama.
In the box that was meant for the tenth question, I wrote: The Goggle Gods blessed me with the knowledge that your test is bullshit. Praise be to the Goggle Gods, you heathen.
I decided to finally pay attention to my teammates, noticing the Sasuke had completed his test, and Naruto was giving Hinata a look of sheer awe.
That made me a bit curious. Upon further inspection, it seemed that Hinata had literally swapped their test sheets after finishing her own. She was nearly done with Naruto's.
The sheer size of the balls she had grown over the past month left me breathless.
Love and encouragement did wonders.
'I never understood why people don't live by that. If everyone cared, so many problems would be fixed.'
If everyone loved, nothing else would get done. We'd all become lazy, having no reason to aspire for more.
'That is so not true. Get your cynicism out of my optimism.'
Get your optimism a check up with reality. It really needs it.
I promptly began to ignore my debbie-downer Inner.
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
The first part ended without any big scene, or fuss. Anko arrived, as sexy in person as she was in the anime, and instructed us to follow her.
I was in the lead following her, admiring her shapely form. The other Genin seemed content in giving her berth. "Your butt is the second best butt I have ever had the pleasure of seeing."
That made the poison mistress stop, irritated. "Second best?"
"Kakashi-sensei has the best butt," I explained to her.
She paused in her walking, then shook her head. "Even if it's him, my ass should be way better."
"I mean, like, don't get me wrong," I said to her, ignoring how Naruto was tugging on my sleeve and gesturing wildly for me to be quiet. Almost the entire group of Genin that was following behind Anko was listening to our conversation, "you're butt is very attractive, and you have this whole sexy vibe going for you. Easily the sexist kunoichi I have personally seen, but Kakashi-sensei's butt is is like—is like."
Words failed me and I gestured with my hands.
Anko peered at me. "Hm. I get where you're coming from, but I personally don't see it."
I gasped. "How could you not?! Have you seen his butt?!"
"Yes," Anko answered. "Every kunoichi has, and a good chunk of shinobi I bet."
There were some scandalized gasps and chokes from the participating Genin.
Anko lightly patted her bum. "But he has nothing on his. I'm as smooth as a baby's ass."
"I have it on good authority that he is, too," I exclaimed.
That got another pause, and a leer from Anko. "Really."
"Really," I confidently told her.
"How do you know? Who told you?"
I hesitated, thinking that perhaps Kakashi wouldn't want me to inform Anko that I had managed to grab his booty on more than one occasion. "I'm not allowed to say."
Anko bent over and squinted at me. She stared at me for several seconds, before her eyes lit up and she chortled. "HA! Looks like we have ourselves another Jiraya-sama."
I gasped. "You know?!"
"I can't believe you got the drop on Hatake," Anko commented, placing a hand on my shoulder and making me walk with her as she guided the rest of the Genin once more. "So is it really that good?"
"It's why I say it's the best."
"You're biased. You obviously have the hots for your teacher." Not able to deny that with a straight face, I merely smiled in response. That seemed to amuse the sexy lady even more so, because she snickered, patting me on the back. "Tell you what. You pass this part, and I'll let you buy me dango."
I bowed before her. "It would be my honor, oh sweet spirit of sheer sexiness."
If I didn't know any better, I could have sworn I heard groans of disgust from behind me.
Clearly, must have been my imagination.
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
The rest of the trip to the forest went by pretty quick, with Anko and I shamelessly flirting back and forth. When we had arrived, she gave her dramatic speech about the rules, and blah, blah, blah. Then the waivers were handed out.
It was time for the next step in my Epic Plan™
"Hug time!" I shouted out after signing my waiver. I handed it over to Naruto before throwing my arms around him. "Since we have another thirty minutes, I'm going to hug everyone!"
Naruto patted my back. "Everyone?"
I pulled away from him, already running towards a complete stranger from Kumogakure who had a nice butt. "Everyone!"
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
I returned to my team a few minutes before we had to enter the forest. Each group was assigned a different area and an assistant lead us to different gates. When it was time for the second part to begin, the door to the Forest of Death unlocked, and the assistant stepped back with a cocky smirk.
We stepped inside the Forest of Death.
Sasuke looked over at us. "We need a plan."
I pulled off my backpack and dropped it on the ground. "I got this, guys."
They both turned to look at my backpack, and when I unzipped it, I presented it to be filled with Earth and Heaven Scrolls.
They stared at it.
"What," Sasuke deadpanned.
"Kakashi-sensei said the exams didn't end between Part One and Part Two," I began to explain, "so technically as soon as we knew the parameters of Part Two, we could act. Anko-sama did not specify that we had to take the scrolls while inside the forest. She only stated that we had to present one Heaven and one Earth Scroll at the tower by the end of five days."
Naruto was bewildered. "So how did you get all those scrolls, Sakura-chan?"
"Remember how I went on my hugging spree earlier?" I asked. "Well, while I was hugging people, I pricked them with my hallucinogenic poison—the one that makes them super drunk—and then I nicked their scrolls while they were feeling hazy."
Sasuke's brow furrowed. "When the poison wore off, though, wouldn't they realize they had a missing scroll?"
"I left a duplicate in its place."
"How did you know to make duplicates?"
"The Goggle Gods," I answered, zipping my backpack up and slinging it back over my shoulders. "Anyway, that's the abridged version. We have our scrolls, so let's head to the tower, yeah?"
Naruto grinned brightly at me. "That's so amazing, Sakura-chan! You're always so prepared."
"Yes," I drawled out slowly. Obviously there was a bit more to the story. I didn't go anywhere near teams I knew were dangerous, or I felt had chakra levels higher than regular Genin. Several of the teams participating were overly arrogant and lowered their guards around me (which was another criteria for me to target them), misbelieving I was only a little girl.
'Joke's on them, though. I'm a crazy woman, I keep everyone on their toes.'
That you do.
Sasuke shifted, still giving me a disbelieving look. "... Okay. Let's head to the center tower, then."
I saluted. "Brilliant plan, good sir. Last one there has to be everyone else's sex slave!"
Naruto let out a scandalized gasp, while Sasuke grimaced. "No."
"Party pooper," I pouted, already taking off into the trees. It would be pretty swell if our team managed to beat the others to the tower. We could break a whole new record, y'know? I bet Kakashi would feel super proud of us and praise me bunches if we did that.
That thought made my heart skip a happy beat.
My feet landed with soft thuds as I leapt from branch to branch, Naruto and Sasuke flanking me. Sasuke's eyes had shifted into a Sharingan, and he seemed to be constantly scanning our surroundings. Naruto had an inordinately happy smile on his face, looking like the most pleased pickle in existence. I felt the urge to ruffle his hair every time I looked over and saw that smile.
We moved quickly, not pausing when we heard the first screams echo throughout the forest. Naruto and Sasuke, never ones to turn down a competition, began did their best to race to the tower. Even without the penalty to the loser, all of us were motivated to be the first team to reach the tower.
If everything had gone according to plan, we would never even have to see Orochimaru.
Unfortunately, things did not go according to plan.
But, hey, that's what back-up plans were for!
So when that big gust came outta nowhere and blew us all away (in the same direciton, though, because we were tightly packed together in our race), I wasn't too surprised.
And when Orochimaru walked towards us, disguise firmly in place, with a smile on his face, I knew it was time for the Backup Epic Plan™.
The killing intent flooded the area, freezing my teammates for a brief moment, and stunning me for a split second before excitement and adrenaline overrode me. The widest smile possible stretched across my cheeks in anticipation for one of the best damn villains in written history (in my totally biased opinion) approached us.
"The Goggle Gods warned me of your impending arrival," I told Orochimaru, as I pulled out a small scroll from my backpack.
The creepy (in a cool way) snake man chortled. "Did they now? Do you know who I am, then?"
I nodded my head. "Of course, Orochimaru-sama. I have your complete collection of anatomy guides in my room. I would have brought them to get your autograph, but I was worried they would get damaged in the forest."
Orochimaru laughed once more, his killing intent idly dying off. Sasuke and Naruto slowly moved to flank either side of me, both eyeing Orochimaru cautiously. "I wouldn't have thought one of Konoha's little seedlings would be allowed to want my autograph."
"They just don't understand you," I reassured him. "I can't say I entirely do, too, but I can definitely say that I understand enough not to hate you and that I can appreciate what you have done. Without yours and Tsunade-sama's experiments, Konoha wouldn't be so advanced in medical care as it is now."
"But, of course," Orochimaru agreed with me. "What on earth is a rational child like yourself still doing in this village?"
"Rational?" Sasuke repeated, incredulous.
"I'm in love with Kakashi-sensei," I explained, "I couldn't bear to just leave him. Otherwise I would have gone rogue and hunted down Kisame-sama and begged his blessing to hang out with him."
"Hoshigaki-san is an interesting fellow," Orochimaru commented pleasantly, as if remarking on the weather.
"I certainly think so," I sighed happily, thinking about my idol. "Returning to the point on hand," I unsealed the scroll, "I don't want to die, and I don't think my teammates want to die either."
Orochimaru said, "Most don't."
Then fifteen flares shot up and out of the scroll and into the sky, illuminating our entire vision in bright red and purple. Flares were used to signal for immediate help, and all Genin teams were required to carry red flares on every mission. Purple flares were one of five distinctive flares to alert everyone in the vicinity to the level of danger. Green for B rank, yellow for A rank, pink for S, purple for SS, or Kage-level, and white was used for when a team was significantly outnumbered.
I wasn't sure if Anko and the ANBU were already searching for Orochimaru, but Orochimaru didn't know if they were looking for him yet, either.
So now the incredibly dangerous missing-nin was left with a bit of a dilemma. He clearly didn't want to confront an entire squad of ANBU (which he did not know if they were coming or not, but being the cautious genius he was, he would assume they were), but he very much wanted to give Sasuke a Curse Mark.
Orochimaru frowned. "That's no fun."
"I don't want to die, yet," I told him. "I am sorry. If I knew for sure you wouldn't kill us, I wouldn't have shot up the flares."
"I suppose I can't fault you for that," Orochimaru allowed, causing me to beam at him, "but really. You cut my time significantly."
"Next time we meet up, I'll buy you lunch as an apology," I offered.
Orochimaru tilted his head at that, and then he was a blur in the next moment. I didn't feel any killing intent coming from him, so it greatly surprised me when the next instant I saw him, he was digging his knee up into my diaphragm and sending me hurtling through the trees before I landed with a very dizzying thud.
Pain shot throughout my entire backside, and I knew that he had successfully broken several bones with one kick.
Blood pooled into my mouth, as I struggled to stay awake. Each breath burned, and I could not take in enough oxygen to breathe properly. He had induced traumatic pneumothorax when the ribs broke inwards and punctured my left lung.
As the edges of my vision blackened, I knew I had to work quickly before I suffocated, or passed out. Thankfully, adrenaline worked wonders on dulling the pain and giving me a semi-clear mind to focus on what to do in order to survive. I heard shouts, and I felt more than I saw, the battle commence around me. Praise to the Goggle Gods that my backpack was still on me, so I was able to take out my emergency medical supplies.
With extremely shaky hands, I pulled out the emergency syringe and jabbed it into my chest, reinflating my lung.
It caused enough immediate relief, that I took a staggering breath and worked to removed my ribs from my lung and heal the tissue. I wouldn't be able to repair the broken bones properly in the current environment, but I could deal with that pain.
The holes were small—enough so that they would have been able to heal on their own given enough time—and my body all too happily regrew under my Shōsen. I calcified my ribs so they would not break off, but—
'I'll have to re-break my ribs to set them properly,' I thought with a grimace.
Once the immediate threat to my life was taken care of, I took stock of the rest of my injuries.
My right shoulder was dislocated (holy hell that hurts), and either my hip was out of place or fractured, and my back felt like it was going to be a big angry bruise for a month. None of which were life-threatening, so I ignored them in favor of finding my teammates.
I could not have been distracted for more than a minute, and already Naruto and Sasuke were unconscious and Orochimaru was gone.
I tried to stand back up, but my hip protested so much that I had to pop it back into place myself before doing anything else.
I bit hard on my bottom lip to keep from crying out as I heard the pop from twisting my hip back into place. I took a few moments to recollect myself before forcing myself to stand up and hobble over to Naruto.
I sent a jolt of chakra into his system, in hopes of awaking him, and I was pleasantly surprised when he gave a low groan. The hero opened his eyes, and blearily looked up at me. "Sakura-chan?"
"Hello. Do me a favor?"
He sat up, grimacing. "Yeah, what's up?"
"Pop my shoulder back into place?"
Naruto nodded his head, then hesitated. "I don't know how to do that."
"It's okay, I'll g-guide you," I reassured him. I leaned back on my butt, before sinking down onto the ground to lay flat on my back. "Grab my right elbow with your right hand, and my right wrist with your left hand." Naruto tentatively did so, his clear blue eyes bright with obvious worry. "Good. Now slow and steady, pull my arm away from my body."
As he did so, I had to turn my head away and bit down hard on my lip and tongue. It took a couple of tries, but he was eventually able to pop it back into place. With that being settled, I did a quick diagnostic of Naruto (damn grateful Kurama of the Fluff was already healing him), before I headed over to Sasuke.
Disappointment flared through me before I pushed it aside.
Sasuke had the Curse Mark.
Despite heading straight towards the tower—and only being a few hours away, max—Orochimaru still found us. He still headed straight towards us. Short of spilling everything to the Hokage and taking a trip to T&I, was there anything else I could have done to prevent that?
I don't think so. Even then, that's not a guarantee Orochimaru won't find some other to get to Sasuke. We did the best we could under the circumstances, and with the criteria of, you know, not wanting to die, yet.
It was still frustrating.
But frustration got me nowhere, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling, so away that went.
Naruto squatted down on the opposite side of me, his brow furrowed as he looked at Sasuke. "What do we do?"
"It's unsafe to treat him out here," I said slowly. "We're only a few hours away from the tower, so let's rush there. He should be okay until we get there."
"Then what?"
"I'll take care of it. Don't worry about it."
Naruto smiled brightly. "Okay. I trust you, Sakura-chan."
Unease settled in my stomach at his words for some reason. Naruto grabbed Sasuke's right arm and slung it over his shoulder. I did the same with Sasuke's left arm, and the two of us ran as fast as we could to the tower.
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
As soon as we entered the tower, I ripped off my backpack and pulled out a Heaven Scroll and an Earth Scroll. Quickly, I unrolled both and placed them over one another. Within seconds, there was a puff of smoke and—
It was not Iruka who appeared in the smoke, but rather a young woman whose name I did not know. She wore her Chūnin attire well, with rainbow-dyed hair swept up into a bun in the back. She looked over each of us. "Team Seven?"
I nodded for us, hearing Naruto grunt as he shifted his hold over our unconscious teammate.
She smirked at us. "Congrats on being the first to the tower. Your buddy gonna make it?"
"We ran into Orochimaru in the forest," I said, watching closely as her face paled and her eyes widened. "He left a gift for our teammate, and we're going to require a sealing team for him."
She shifted uneasily at my words. "It would be a violation of the rules if teams were granted outside medical assistance until the second part is complete."
"Tell our sensei, then, so he can prepare the sealing immediately afterwards."
"Right," the Chūnin agreed. "Well. You all have free reign of the tower until the five days are up. Kitchen is on the second floor, and dorms are floors three through seven."
Once more, I nodded my head at that. The Chūnin disappeared in a puff of smoke, and I helped Naruto carry Sasuke upstairs.
We dumped our feverish teammate onto a bed, and then it was time to work.
"See this mark here?" I asked Naruto, pointing towards the Curse Mark. Naruto pulled up a chair to sit beside me while I worked on Sasuke. He nodded his head. "It's some kind of seal. According to my diagnosis and what I can tell from Shōsen, it's forcing itself into Sasuke's chakra network."
Naruto paled. "That's bad, right?"
"Yes," I agreed quietly. "Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about it right now. Neither of us are fūinjutsu experts, and my medical expertise can only go so far. What we can do is help flush out the toxic chakra it's emitting into his system, and keep his fever down."
"Is there something I can do?" Naruto asked me.
"Yes. Keep giving him chakra pills, and anti-inflammatory medication. We'll change his cooling pack every hour, too. If it gets too bad, we'll have to give him an ice bath."
"He's going to be okay, though, right?"
I hesitated. "He's going to have a tough time, but I believe he'll be okay in the end. Um. Naruto? The Curse Mark is affecting his nervous system, as well. He... um... Well, you know how you sometimes go berserk when you use Kurama's chakra?"
The ball of sunshine cocked his head at me. "What?"
"The Kyūbi—"
"You know?!"
"What kind of self-appointed mother would I be, if I didn't know?" I retorted. "But you understand what I'm talking about, yeah?" At his nod, I continued, "Well, Sasuke's going to have go through something similar. If too much of that thing's chakra is released into his system at once, it'll cause him to go a bit crazy. It'll be up to us to stop him, and calm him down. It's not entirely his fault, though, so don't take anything he says or does personal when he's like that."
Naruto punched his left palm, a grin on his face. "I can do that! If that's all there is to worry about, then everything really is going to be okay!"
I couldn't resist smiling at that. "Yes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to re-break some bones and do a bit of damage control for myself. If you hear me scream, please pretend you heard nothing."
He grimaced. "Yeah. Okay."
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
Unfortunately some of my injuries required an extra set of hands. I had to have Naruto wrap the bandages around my chest and back (he was extremely uncomfortable with it, but understood the necessity and acted like a complete gentleman) because I couldn't friggin move after re-breaking a couple of ribs. I had a whole bunch of scratches and gashes and all sorts of fun shit covering my back, so I had to dress it somehow until I could finagle a way to heal my back.
A shoulder after being dislocated recently did not want to move much.
Sasuke floated in and out of consciousness. The first time he woke up semi-coherent, Naruto and I reassured him that he was in a safe place and didn't have to fight. That seemed to trigger his body to shut down and focus entirely on recuperating from Orochimaru's brief encounter. He didn't become coherent until it was time for the preliminary exams.
Gaara's team had arrived a couple hours after our team (apparently I had taken out enough of the competition that it took a couple of tries to find a team that didn't have a duplicate, oopsie). Hinata's team came later that night (I greeted them with hugs).
Hinata figured out the duplicates were because of me (I had left tiny little flowers in the corner of the duplicates—and she watched me work my magic before entering the forest), and explained it to her teammates. Kiba was quite put off with me because it took them multiple tries to find a team that didn't have a duplicate, while Shino praised me on my cunning.
Hinata just smiled at me, and pinched my cheek, citing, "If I didn't like you so much, I might have been annoyed."
I giggled at that and responded with, "Lies. You're too full of goodness and love to be annoyed with anyone."
She shook her head in response.
Team Eight hung around our room, Hinata happily assisting to help care for Sasuke. Kiba and Naruto enjoyed bantering with one another, and the boisterous Genin listened to each other's stories of what their teams had been up to for the past couple of months since academy days.
I had Hinata redress my wounds over the next couple of days until I could move my shoulder enough to use Shōsen on my back.
Some of the injuries would leave behind barely visible scars.
It would make for a helluva cool story.
'Oh, how did you get that scar?' Someone would ask.
'I got in a fight with Orochi-friggin-maru. And lived.'
'Holy Arceus, that is bad ass.'
'I know.'
Quite the story, indeed.
Team Nine showed up after the third day into the exam (well into the night), followed shortly by Otogakure's team.
On the fourth day, looking extremely worse for wear, Team Ten arrived.
On the same day, I also kidnapped Hinata to help be booby trap a certain room I found.
With the reunion of all the Rookies, all of us stayed close (Gai's team seemed to be held off in semi-isolation—likely demanded by Neji, and to a lesser extent Tenten). I healed up what injuries I could, and Hinata dressed / stitched the injuries I could not. The rest of our time passed by in a very relaxed state. The fifth day all of us stayed in our rooms and rested in preparation for the next step of the exam.
Then came two in the afternoon, and each team received a message to meet in the very same room I had (by complete coincidence, I'm sure) booby-trapped.
Things were about to go get exciting again!
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
Checking in with Kakashi. Third Person POV.
Kakashi joined the rest of the Konoha instructors in the surveillance room to monitor the first part of the exams. His longtime friend, and self-appointed rival, Gai greeted him with a cheerful wave and a blinding smile. "My friend! I was not aware your team would be apart of the Exams."
"It was made apparent to me early on that they would want to participate," Kakashi answered, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Hokage-sama was also interested in one of my... minions becoming a Chūnin."
Asuma snorted. "Let me guess, Naruto."
"No," Kakashi responded quietly, thinking back to the evil glint in Hiruzen's eyes at the thought of a certain pinkette having unlimited access to the Icha Icha series. The evil man had chortled, merrily smiling as he said with an all too straight face, "She would be good for you, Kakashi-kun. She seems very... fun."
"She's twelve."
"For now," Hiruzen agreed, still smiling evilly. There was no way he actually thought that Kakashi would even consider being with someone so young, but the man openly enjoyed the fact that the aspiring medic could make her sensei squirm.
Hiruzen was a firm believer in shinobi expressing their emotions (when not on missions, of course) and not turning into mindless tools; and the fact that she brought out honest reactions and feelings from the emotionally repressed retired ANBU made Hiruzen hopeful for his subordinate.
Kurenai frowned at Kakashi's response. "He favors the Uchiha, then?"
Kakashi mutely shook his head.
Gai chuckled. "I am not surprised! Kakashi's fair maiden is Most Surprising. She brims with youthful enthusiasm!"
"She is not my fair maiden," Kakashi corrected. "She is my minion. An evil, evil, perverted minion."
"Hinata-chan thinks highly of Sakura-chan," Kurenai said slowly. "Surely, you must be exaggerating."
Kakashi gave her a look as if patronizing a child.
Kurenai flushed, looking away in a huff. "You were never good with kunoichi. You probably don't know how to handle her, the poor girl."
"I'm the victim here," Kakashi protested. "She's worse than Jiraiya."
"No way," Asuma immediately denied. "No one is worse than him."
"She is," Kakashi insisted.
Asuma turned towards the surveillance screen, squinting at the group of Genin. "That girl, right there? The one that's hugging her friends. She's a pervert?"
Kakashi nodded firmly. "The only reason she wants to be a Chūnin is to purchase Icha Icha."
"I don't believe that," Kurenai declared.
Kakashi gave her another look, causing the kunoichi to glare balefully at him.
The instructors watched the footage for another moment, before another Genin approached the group. Sakura immediately took off her right shoe and threw it at him, her face contorting into a look Kakashi had honestly never seen on his minion before. The look of sheer hatred on her face was unsettling. He had only ever seen smiles, and the occasional wince from his casual rejections.
The other Genin seemed equally surprised by the venomous looks (and likely words) she threw towards the silver-haired Genin. Only until the Genin had left, did she flip a switch and turn back into cheerful young girl.
"Who was that?" Kurenai asked, looking over at Kakashi.
Kakashi didn't have an answer.
But he would soon enough.
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
"Yo," Kakashi greeted casually. His team had entered the Forest of Death yesterday, so he would not be seeing them for another few days. He planned on spending that time relaxing with light training thrown in, but Ibiki had requested to meet with him. The scarred interrogator took a seat beside Kakashi at the bar they sat at, a single paper in hand.
He slammed said paper on the counter, a scowl on his face. "Who the hell are the Goggle Gods?"
Kakashi blinked at that, then looked down. He recognized Sakura's drawings (although he did not recognize who she drew—except... Obito? How did she know Obito? Surely, no one would tell her about that tidbit of information about him. People knew better than to talk about Kakashi's past), and her curly handwriting. He read the message at the bottom of the paper, and resisted the urge to snort and bury his face in his hands.
He settled for shaking his head. "I don't know."
"How did she know about my exam? I literally came up with it that morning," Ibiki demanded.
"The Goggle Gods is the term Sakura uses to explain away anything she figures out," Kakashi explained. "She has a very high natural intuition. She likely saw through your exam, then explained it away through her... gods."
Ibiki's eyes narrowed. "Really."
"That is the most likely scenario," Kakashi allowed. "I don't have any obvious proof, but I can confirm she doesn't have any hidden kekkai genkai, nor do these Goggle Gods actually exist."
Ibiki snorted. He supposed that it did make sense. No one could keep things hidden from the Hatake Kakashi, so if there was something odd about Sakura, the famed Jōnin would have figured it out by now. That being said, Ibiki still had a gut-feeling that there was something a bit more to the story.
Without definitive proof, though, Ibiki wouldn't push the retired ANBU.
Well. Not about that, anyway.
With a smirk, Ibiki flipped over the paper. "Care to share, Hatake?"
Kakashi stared at Sakura's picture of their wedding for a solid minute, before he took a long swig of his sake, and buried his face in his arms. "You have ten seconds to leave, and take that atrocity with you, before I break that damn jaw of yours."
Ibiki smirked, obliging the embarrassed man.
( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)
The wedding picture (and the motivation to write Kakashi's POV) was inspired by SarahGarciaDonaire (deviantART) triplet fanart of Kakashi and Sakura. Links on profile, or you can go to their profile.
Big thank you to Nixygg (deviantART) for making my whole damn week and helping my muse out with her/his fanart of Haku giving Sakura a smooch. Links also on profile, or go to their profile.
Funfact: Neutron stars are the stars that turn into a black hole. Our sun would have to become a neutron star before it turned into a black hole.
OC!Sakura glosses over uncomfortable facts like a cheetah chasing after the world's most delicious meat . So any narrative from her perspective that deals with uncomfortable things will be reflecting that.
I want to do a Naruto movie, but idk which one to do. Halp?
Answer: Baby from the Black (or Bronze, or Azure) Dragonflight, uncorrupted.
Question: How would YOU survive the Chūnin Exams, if you were on team 7, or one of the other rookie teams?