I finally let go, my tears flow rapidly and freely. My legs carry me to the door which I throw open and subsequently slam shut behind me. I’m so dramatic; I’m just so on edge. I didn’t think Phil was like that. I didn’t think he was jealous enough to act so childish about the whole matter. I wish I had kissed him, but I definitely wouldn’t feel the same about Dan. Deary me, I wish I could just find him a girlfriend. It hits me.
“Hi, Katie? I need you to come to my apartment, I think I’ve found someone super cute to be your boyfriend.” Katie is one of the prettiest girls I know, her shiny blonde hair and flawless personality always made me hate her. But I’m sure Phil can get over this.
It’s twenty minutes before she and the Pizza man arrive. Composed, I walk into the apartment.
“Hey guys, I hope you don’t mind that my friend’s here.” Like a model, she elegantly struts in and strikes a perfect pose. “Katie, this is Dan and Phil.” I watch her like a hawk as she hugs the boys, I know I’m trying to help both myself and Phil, but it feels so awkward watching her. A little part of me wants to be her.
The evening commences with board games, television and a lot of alcohol for everyone except me because I don’t drink.
“How about we play truth or dare?” Katie blurts out in a drunken state. We all nod in agreement. “Okay, I’ll go first. Truth or Dare, Phil?”
“Hmm…Truth.”
“Ha, wimpy option.” Dan teases.
“He’s just getting the game started,” Katie says protectively- God I hate her. “Okay, when did you last get really drunk?”
“Probably two weeks ago, at PJ’s party.” The boys start laughing and gesturing dramatically about something or another until Dan pauses.
“Truth or Dare?” He directs the question to Katie.
“Dare!” She screams enthusiastically. My heart stops.
“I dare you and Phil to kiss.” My expression drops and my throat gets tight, I can barely breathe. I watch them as they lean in and make the sound of a dying hamster when their lips touch. I can’t look, so excuse myself for a second. I head to the bathroom and look in the mirror.
“Why are you so upset, Y/N? You’ve got Dan. You turned down Phil before. Dan means everything to you.” I ask myself sadly. “Because I love him, Dan means everything to me. Phil was there for me when Dan wasn’t. Phil has always been mine, and seeing him there with someone else is too much for me. I can’t take it, Y/N.” I close my eyes and bury my head in my hands. “Dan cared about you way more than he did; Phil forced you to film that second video, which generated way more hate than Dan’s video did. You need to walk back in there and tell Dan how much he means to you.” It seems that I’m actually quite good at giving myself advice. I ready myself and slowly reach for the door handle. In a quick motion, I turn the handle and glance into the room. To my horror, Katie’s kissing Dan. Unsure of what to do next, I yelp like a helpless puppy. Nowhere to run, no-one to talk to, I stay fixed in place and repeatedly hit my head against the wall until I can feel no more pain.