Dear guys,
I guess if you're reading this then I succeeded in killing myself and you're looking for some answers. Well here we go. It wasn't you, it was just something I felt even before mom died. I've never been the type of girl who was happy and loved herself. When mom died I guess that triggered it. Even after we moved here, I felt it. I guess cutting helped me feel as if I was in control. This was not something you could've stopped. Even if I survived I probably wouldn't be happy so I ask for one thing. Don't blame yourselves. It wasn't your fault and it wasn't anything that you could've avoided. Truth be told, this decision is what I wanted and I would make it again if I could. Living caused me too much problems and too much pain. This is the easy way out but it's the way for me. So don't blame yourselves. I loved all of you even the unborn baby.
Knowing Donovan is probably there, tell him I've loved him since I hit into him and I wished we could've had a wonderful relationship. Tell him he was the reason I smiled and the reason I woke up in the morning. He's my one true love and I will never stop.
For dad, tell him I wish him luck in his marriage with Carmen I wish I could be there. Tell him that I didn't blame him at all and I was actually happy he found love and was gonna have a baby. He's not the reason I cut and he's not the reason I killed myself. I killed myself because I was dumb and weak and didn't know what to do.
Even though we had our ups and downs, I still was lucky to have you guys.
So this is long but it sums everything up. I loved all of y'all and want you all to live your lives and not dwell on my death. I love you all too much and this was the hardest decision I had to make. But it was mine to make.
With love,
Paisley xoxoxo
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LAST CHAPTER OF THE BOOK:( IN SO SAD THATS IT OVER. SO I WANT TO THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING THE BOOK AND VOTING AND COMMENTING AND EVERYTHING. I WASNT SURE IF I WAS GONNA CONTINUE THIS STORY BUT WHEN I SAW HOW MANY PEOPLE READ IT, I DECIDED TO CONTINUE IT. IMMA EDIT IT AND POST AN EDITED VERSION OF IT. I MIGHT SUBMIT FOR THE WATTY AWARDS...DO YALL THINK I SHOULD? ANYWAY NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE BEEN POSSIBLE IF YALL DIDNT READ AND KEEP ME MOTIVATED TO KEEP WRITING. CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES AND IM SORRY BUT I DO NOT PLAN TO MAKE A SEQUEL TO THIS STORY. PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT AND MAKE SURE TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS STORY. THANKS SO MUCH I HAD A BLAST WRITING THIS.
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XOXOXO