□□ "You won't lose me. You never did." □□
After Carrie left, they all prepared to pack up for the long drive to Amsterdam. Kirsten pulled out a jacket as she slowly walked towards the front of the bus. A hand suddenly grabbed her wrist. "Are you going to check the merch?" Jack asked.
Kirsten nodded at him and he immediately pulled a jacket for himself too. The two walked close together as they arrived on the side of the bus were boxes, crates and equipments are being loaded.
"Is it alright to put the merch boxes inside the bus again?" One of their dear roadies asked Jack. He agreed without any questions so they just went back inside the bus again. It was like they only went out to get some air for a while.
When Kirsten stepped up on the bus, Jack pulled her to a hug. His head on her stomach as she was one big step higher than him. Kirsten hugged his head and played wih his hair before asking, "What's the problem?"
Jack shook his head and pulled her towards him completely, carrying her on his shoulders. "Are we really doing this again?" she shrieked in surprise.
Jack climbed up the bus and run to the back lounge getting mixed reactions from the people inside. "No sex!" Bryan shouted at them before Jack closed the sliding door of the back lounge.
Kirsten pinched his buttcheek before he threw her to the couch. "Now is the time, Kirsten." he said as he went down on his knees and buried his head on her legs. She pulled him up gently by the head so he would sit down beside her. She curled up beside him as his legs stretched out on the carpeted floor.
"We were outside because," Kirsten started off the long story of her and Carrie's unlikely formed friendship in just one night. Kirsten shared everything that Carrie has told her and Jack finally understood why Kirsten would call out to Rian for help.
The two stared at each other deeply after the last piece of the story was heard. Jack was so understanding for Kirsten, too understanding as a matter of fact. She felt that his loving stares meant something else. She already explained every little detail to him, even the part where they avoided the red gatorade because the color may spike anger to their conversation.
He looked at her lovingly, with a hint of sleepiness on his eyes and Kirsten almost jumped out of her seat. "I'm sorry if I got lost uh, missing again." She hugged his arm like some kind of small animal. "I should have prompted you. I-I should have told somebody, anyone!"
He hushed her with a soft kiss but with a forceful hand that pushes her into him. When his lips crash into hers, Kirsten couldn't help but feel the unexplainable longing that lingers. They've been officially together and it was like, they couldn't get enough of each other at that brief moment. Maybe its just because of the restriction put over into their relationship for the rest of the tour, or maybe because of what happened. It was a long night, too long for all the things to happen consecutively.
"Do you feel what I feel?" Jack asked as they both catch up on breathing. "We're engaged now, then after a couple of hours, you went missing?"
Kirsten looked down and felt really guilty of what she did. Her carelessness made everyone search for her in panic. Alex didn't want to talk to her which was so not him. Zack has to run after them just to get Jack. And her dear fiance, almost losing his breath as he ran and looked for her around the venue. His weakened state was too much for her to bear, but she had to stay strong, until they got back to the bus.
"If I need to be punished, then I'll prepare myself." she whispered.
Jack shook his head. A punishment isn't what he needed. He actually didn't need anything at all. He's content and happy by just being with her. "I just want you to know that this" he pointed to his heart. "might have already stopped beating if I didn't find you."
His eyes were full of emotions, it was the first time Kirsten saw them like that. His eyes were quite puffed and tired, the sadness was being held back by the joy of seeing her. His hand on his chest and the other squeezing her hand and trying to convey the message that 'I can't take it if I would lose you.'
"I would have forced myself the same thing."
"Band version of Romeo and Juliet?" his joke lightened up the mood, but only for a couple of seconds.
Kirsten chuckled at the comparison, "Nah! I prefer We could live like Jack and Kirsten if we want to. Though it would totally get ousted by other band shippings out there!"
Jack held both of her hands and pulled them up to the back of his neck. With the distance between them getting smaller, he looked down at her and stared at her lips which were awkwardly trying not to make any movement. "We're engaged now. I still can't let it sink down on me. I thought I'm going to lose you. And I can't help but think about it since we are engaged now. I don't know what to think anymore."
His beautiful eyes slowly turned into a pained and frightened expression. Kirsten couldn't think of anything to help him get past through his thoughts. His hands traced her waist down to her hips and it almost hurt when he held her flesh tightly.
The lips that she was trying to keep intact let out a soft moan of pain. His eyes were slowly turning into a puzzle for her. The pained and frightened expression were replaced by lust and longing. She tried to tolerate the growing pain. She tried to understand the switching of his behavior.
For her, it was understandable to get such reaction. It wasn't the first time that he almost lost her. And to get through that depressing state again would always bring out the worst in him.
When it was too much for her to handle his tight grip on his waists, she quickly pulled his hands away from her. It snapped him out of his melting and terrorizing stare. "Just feel this." she said as she gently pushed him on the couch until he was lying on his back completely. She followed and squeezed herself into his arms and hugged his whole body.
"We can live like this forever, Jack."
"I don't want to lose-"
"You won't lose me. You never did." She planted a sweet kiss on his cheek that travelled towards his lips and stayed there for a moment. The bus was already moving, but its noise were softly muted as the sound of their hearts beating became louder.
She couldn't count the songs she sang in her mind anymore when the sliding door of the back lounge slowly opened. A familiar hair came in before its face was revealed. A slice of pizza appeared afterwards. He said not to talk to him, but Kirsten was left with no choice. He didn't want to disturb Jack's light sleep. "Leave a box for us!" she screamed with a whisper.
Alex understood what she said but he still went inside the back lounge. He stretched out his arm and fed Kirsten with the pizza slice he has on his hands. She bit a big chunk out of it. He patted her head as she tried to chew the food. Alex left with a small smile on his lips and went back to the front lounge.
"Caller!" Rian held out Alex's phone that he left on the kitchen counter were the pile of pizza boxes were put. Alex rushed to get the phone, he's been waiting for Lisa's call all night.
"Hey!" he greeted.
"Hi sweetie!" It was Joyce. "He's not answering his phone, did you guys found Kirsten already?" Alex sighed in despair and disappointment but he still managed to answer back, "Yeah. He's sleeping right now and I think he left his phone on his bunk."
"I see. Well, that's a relief, Alex. Tell him to call me immediately, okay?"
"I will. I will."
As soon as he ended the call, Zack handed him a slice of meaty pizza. He took it and crashed on the couch, leaning his elbow on the merch box on the far end side. "Jack is still sleeping." he said. There wasn't any comment or reaction so he followed up with, "Or maybe he's trying to seduce Kirsten, I don't really know."
"You look really tired, man." Matt said as he handed a bottle of water over to Alex. He brushed off his offer and took a bottle of liquor instead. He gulped like he was getting ready for a party at a bar.
His anxiousness and mood swings were clearly caused by his lack of communication with Lisa. She wasn't calling or even answering the phone for the whole day. She's at home, he called up her mom and her friends. Alex couldn't find any reason on why she would do that, and the only person who would have an idea is too busy cradling Jack into sleep. He even asked her not to talk to him. Alex felt like he was acting like a girl on her period.
He was torn between the eagerness in getting her response and his much needed sleep. As another empty bottle hit the side of the table, Alex decided to crash to his bunk and pull himself into sleep.
As soon as his curtains were completely closed, the sliding door of the back lounge opened up and there came out Jack and Kirsten close to each other. Alex heard it so he swiftly opened the curtain halfway. The two stared at him, Kirsten was waiting for something to come out of his mouth.
"We'll talk tomorrow." he almost whispered before closing the curtain. Jack needed her more than him. He knew that and he didn't want to be a bother. It'll be disrespectful to pull her away from her fiance.
The lovebirds went straight to the front lounge to catch up on the take-out dinner. It was the first time that Kirsten got too many pats on her head on one night. It was a personal record. They must have done the same when she was unconscious but it was just a trivial thing to ask for.
"You were almost kidnapped, young lady." Matt said in a calm way just like whenever he tries to ask Jack and Alex to stop banging the couch.
"I wasn't" she tried to argue. "I was taller than her and a security guard was around."
"Fuck!" Rian exclaimed. It seemed like all the glasses on the table were briefly lifted up as he smashed his fist on the makeshift wood. All eyes turned to him. "We didn't ask for the help of the security team."
After their eyes feasted on him, then they all stared blankly at objects as they realized all the waste of time they had in searching. They went around the dressing rooms, kept their hoodies on as they searched among the crowd and almost woke up every bus they've checked upon.
Kirsten knew it was the right time to make a formal apology to everyone. She stood up from the couch and stepped on it. Jack held her legs just in case. All eyes turned to her and her awkward smile. "I'm really sorry for what happened!" She leaned her hands on her knees and bowed her head deeply. Looking up and bowing down again as she turned to each and everyone of them.
Smiles were slowly creeping out of their lips as her dedication finally worn out. She felt dizzy with all that headbanging while the bus was moving. "You should learn your lesson now, Kirsten." Matt went off with his kind sermon again, picking up where he left off.
"I will, Matt. And can I ask a favor?" she sweetly said. Matt nodded his head before emptying the bottle on his hand. "Can we pass by a luggage store? I need a compact and body-hugging bag for my work stuff, and of course my phone."
"Why are you asking him? I'm right here." Jack interrupted with his mouth full of pizza.
Kirsten shot a glare at him before explaining her side of the story, "He's the over-all manager here." she glanced at Matt and the others and got faces of approval. "I'm taking a shortcut."
"But I'm one of the bosses. I am one of the CEO of this company." Bursts of laughter and toasts of bottles echoed out on the front lounge. The day was too long for everyone. Another long night is ahead of them as they are on their way to Amsterdam where a hotel is waiting for them. They have an extra day off on that location.
"Caller!" Zack called out but this time it was for Kirsten. He didn't noticed that he was still holding on to it since Jack pulled it out of his shorts.
Kirsten walked towards him and looked at her phone. Her face went from excited to confused. She looked out to Alex's bunk but it was still closed. She answered the call and the first thing she heard was, "Hush Kirsten! Are you alone?" Kirsten looked around and the boys were already busy on their own businesses.
She signals her way to the back lounge to Jack and she ran off as soon as she was in front of the bunk beds. She closed the sliding door before crashing down to the couch.
"You guys are on the way to Amsterdam now, right?" Lisa asked.
"Yes! You're coming here, right?" Kirsten squealed as she jumped into conclusions.
If Kirsten could just see Lisa's face of disappointment, she'll realize how much of a killjoy she was. "Why are you such a spoiler, Kirchie. It was supposed to be a secret!"
"Oh! I, I didn't know. I was just fooling around. I didn't know, Lisa. I'm sorry." The word was overused for Kirsten that day. She could have vomited because of it already. He tried a loud sorry for everyone, a sweet and loving tone for Jack, a friendly one for Alex and now a whispering tone for Lisa.
"Hah! No worries!" she suddenly laughed out. "I'm going to tell you anyway."
Kirsten felt relief upon hearing that. She sat down on the couch after. If she couldn't get Alex's forgiveness, she could at least get Lisa's. "So what time are you coming?" she asked.
"I'll be there by uhh.. 11?" Lisa was unsure but Kirsten could hear her checking out some papers, her tickets perhaps.
By 11, they would still be at the hotel; maybe getting more comfortable sleep or rehearsing. Kirsten suggested, "We'll be staying at a hotel, if were going out for breakfast, lunch or brunch, I'll let you know immediately."
"I'm completely being weirded out right now. It's like I've already shared my plans with you and now you're just repeating it to me."
"Today might be a perfect balance of good and bad karma for me." Kirsten sighed as she recalled the events that took place that night. "And you are one of the good things, Lisa. Can't wait to see you again."
"Me too! Alright. I have to pack up and leave now. I just got a message that my flight was rescheduled! See you tomorrow!"
Lisa hung up the phone before Kirsten can even say goodbye. Kirsten blew the hair in front of her face upwards. Her eyes caught a glimpse of a silhouette standing on the door. "Please don't be Alex." she whispered to herself as she fixated her eyes on her hair.
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