It was around five in the morning and I was sitting in a triangle passing along the vodka with Connor and Erin while listening to bands like Skid Row and the Eagles. We were all drunk. I never really drank, so it was weird.
Erin layed down on her back and sighed tiredly. "Sometimes I wonder why he's such a grump." She slurred.
"Who?" Connor asked.
"Mr. Hot-hot.. I mean the hot guy. What's his name, Diana?"
I laughed, for some reason believing what she was saying was hilarious. "Mr. Grant?"
Connor choked on the vodka as he swallowed. "You think he's hot?" He asked me.
I shrugged and the three of us laughed. "Ew, guys." He laughed loudly.
My phone suddenly rang and Erin rolled over on her belly to reach for it. "Ooh who's calling you." She dragged out.
I snatched it before she could and read the caller ID, which was difficult because I could only see it in two. Andy's name made me giggle. I answered it, trying to sound normal. "Hello?"
"Sorry, it's too early isn't it?" He said. "I couldn't really sleep and somehow wound up wondering about you." He told me.
I slipped out a small laugh. "Oh yeah it's early," I didn't mean to, but I slurred a bit, having Connor and Erin both laughed at me.
"Are... Diana are you alright?" He asked lowly.
I held my breath, trying to hold back a laugh and looking to them both having them laugh louder. "Who are you with?" Andy eagerly asked in a low tone.
"Just Connor and Erin and... and me." I spoke slowly.
"Are you drunk?"
A giggle errupted. "No."
"Diana..."
"Yes, yes, Andy. I'm very drunk."
"Where are you?"
"Erin's house."
"What's her address?"
"Why?" I slid onto my back and reached for the vodka in the center.
"I'm coming to get you."
"Why?" I repeated.
"Just give me the address, Diana." He sighed seeming frustrated.
"Ugh, eight... eigth... Hey Erin, what's your address?"
"Wait, who is that?" Connor came close to me and asked.
"Tell him not to worry about it." Andy grumbled on the other end.
"I don't know." I shrugged to Connor.
"No, really, who is it?" Connor pressed.
"Eight-hundred Applehill Drive." Erin said.
I thumbs upped Erin and pressed my phone to my ear. "Eight-hundred-"
"Yeah, I heard." Andy snapped.
I was shocked for a second at how he acted so mean all the sudden. I actually began feeling emotional. Why is he so angry?
"I'll be there in five." He spoke shortly.
After he hung up I sat up to see that there was no more vodka left. Connor laughed. "Erin, you're out." He told her, lifting the bottle and shaking it to show her.
She bobbed her head up and dropped it with a sigh. "The key is in already in there."
Connor stood up and dove into the liquor cabinet, tossing me a bottle of Malibu which I spilled onto myself.
I lifted it to my mouth, but an aggressive knock at the door came, making all three of us jump in shock. We were all silent and looked at eachother curiously.
Then the knocking came again. "Diana," Andy's voice shouted, making me jump again.
"Come in!" Erin said.
"The door isn't locked?" Connor snapped.
"She was the last one in!" Erin said, pointing to me.
Andy's business shoes tapped the floor behind me and I turned around. "Hi." I said and Erin lowered the music.
"What do you want?" Connor snapped again.
"Diana, get up." Andy demanded.
I lifted my arms and tried to stand up, but when I did, I almost fell over, so Andy leaned over and swooped me up in his arms. He looked angry.
"Bye, Erin." I waved at them lazily. "Bye Connor."
"Don't leave!" Connor said.
Andy turned and put me in his car and we drove to his apartment. "This isn't like you." He said quietly with his eyes fixed on the road.
I didn't say anything, worried if I spoke, my thoughts wouldn't transfer properly. I kept to myself that he didn't even know me, so how could he possibly know whether it was out of character for me to get drunk with a couple of friends? There was a sudden fear that erupted in me. It was dark and I was tired and suddenly felt sick.
When we got to the apartment I tried to unbuckle the seatbelt but I shook too much. Andy came around and opened the door, reaching over to unbuckle myself for me and taking me in his arms.
He looked... well, he looked disappointed.
In the apartment he put me down and I stumbled my way to the couch while he went straight to the kitchen, which faced the living room so I was able to watch him as he rubbed his face tiredly.
"Why weren't you in bed?" He asked in confusion.
I shrugged.
There was silence coming from him, and that somehow frightened me. "What's wrong with you, Diana?" He pleaded.
I shook again. "What do you mean?" I asked in confusion.
"You're staying at people's houses with guys and getting drunk."
"It was just Connor-"
"He likes you, obviously."
"So?"
He groaned loudly and his hands curled up into fists. "You should've been at home." He said to himself quietly.
"Then why didn't you bring me home?"
"Because you're acting stupid."
"Why are you suddenly acting like my father?"
"Because you seem to need one." He said loudly this time, and he was right.
That was what made me go quiet. I looked away from him and down at my lap, leaning into the couch so he couldn't see me as I suddenly began to cry. I was crying because he was right, and I never acted like I was. I didn't usually drink, but who's to say it's wrong for me to? Why was I allowing him to make me feel bad about myself for it?
"Diana?" He said quietly and I held back the drunken sobs that threatened to escape.
He came around slowly and I covered my face in embarrassment. "Diana..." Andy sighed out and I felt his weight beside me on the couch. He pulled my hands away from my face and toward him, into his arms. "I'm sorry." He said close to my ear. "I didn't mean it."
I forced myself to stop because I remembered that even if he meant it or not... "It doesn't matter because it's true." I mumbled into his shirt.
He brushed my hair with his fingers. "What do you mean?" He asked.
I pulled away and wiped my face, feeling embarrassed at how vulnerable I had made myself. "I haven't seen my dad in years. He's in the military."
Andy's face was soft before, but it got softer and he looked at me with sympathy. "Oh, I... I didn't know." He said dumbly.
"You weren't supposed to."
"Well what about your mother?"
I sobered up quickly and shrugged. "She died. I never really knew her."
Andy looked at me then pulled me close to him in a tight hug. "Diana, I was just worried about you. I know we still don't know eachother well enough for me to say that, but-"
"Yeah, I know. Sorry."
By this time it was around six oclock and I was set in his lap. "It's fine. I know you don't usually do that kind of stuff."
I said nothing and just felt how he felt around me. It was weird because we'd never been intimate in that way before. He kissed my head and it felt wrong because he suddenly felt like my guardian. I hated that, so I turned to face him and caught his lips with mine.
He seemed shocked in the beginning, but returned it eagerly after. We kept kissing and I felt him leaning into me, then pulling away. "Diana, you're drunk." He reminded me.
"So?" I said with my arms around his neck.
He stared back at me nervously and I knew the power I had over him was too much. Andy quickly, like lightining, flipped me on my back and immediately went back to the kissing like before, this time the both of us getting heated quickly.
He slipped off his shirt with ease and threw off his belt, then his hands fumbled with my jeans. He almost had it when a familiar voice broke our kissing.
"Hey Andy, sorry, I left my binder he-re- oh."
I looked up and met eyes with the idiot named Toby, then back to Andy to see his eyes filled with frustration. "Toby." He groaned, still on me and climbed off to shove his younger brother into the guestroom to talk to him.
I didn't hear much but I knew they were lightly arguing. "Okay! I'm sorry! I won't-" Toby said back, loudly.
"Toby, you're a man. Act like one and respect my rules." Andy said, sounding more calm.
My eyes felt droopy and I fixed my jeans, turning over to cuddle close to one if his pillows and passing out.
...
"Psst!"
Sounds of pencils on paper filled Mr. Grant's dead silent room. Number by number each student began to understand the teacher's sudden change in language, in communication. Now Mr. Grant sat and watched his computer boredly, with that same and usual unhappy expression.
That class room really depressed me.
Or was that because of the hangover?
"Psssst!"
My head snapped over to Toby who sneakily tried to mouth something to me, but I ignored it, feeling embarrassed. He didn't know that though, I wouldn't let him see that what happened that morning embarrassed me.
After I passed out I woke up to Andy nudging me awake in his car. "You're home." He had said, and we were, indeed, parked in front of my house.
I looked at him and sighed, turning my head away. "Are you okay?" He asked.
I smiled casually. "Yeah, I'm just sorry you had to pick me up."
I saw a smile grow on Andy. That same secretive one, and I knew we were both suddenly back to normal.
"Get rest." He told me.
"Sure." I said back and leaned over to give him a quick and lingering kiss at the corner of his mouth. He quickly grabbed my hand before I slipped out.
"By the way, Toby promised not to say a thing."
I shrugged. "Well, we'll see, won't we?"
He tugged me closer and planted one last long kiss on my lips and I slipped away quickly, feeling closer to Andy than I ever had before.
"Diana!" The extremely faint whisper woke me up from the memory from earlier and I looked around Mr. Grant's room again, peeking at him to see if he was paying any attention to Toby who was riskingly breaking the entire silence of the room.
"Hand this to her." I heard him tell someone, folding up a piece of paper.
She was about to open it when he snatched it away. "Don't read it!" He mouthed, and handed it back reluctantly and she passed it across the class, the paper finally landing on my desk.
I stared at it for a second and looked up, making eye contact with Toby who look at me from the corner of his eye, cautiously. I sighed to myself, wondering what it was now.
It was the spindle that hypnotized me. What if I didn't want to read it? What if it was about Andy? It probably was, and how stupid I was earlier that same morning. Removing my hands from my lap slowly, I reached for the paper, almost in contact... But like electricity it was snatched from underneath me and I looked up in the shadow of Mr. Grant.
"What generation is this?" He mocked, walking over to his desk with the paper while- surprising everyone in the room- people laughed.
The students, they heard his joke and it was so odd to have laughed at his joke. It was so weird to even hear him joke, though he kept the same expression. Dry humour. Anyone could guess it, that was just him.
I was pretty sure I had tutoring after class and knew I had to stay behind. When class ended, Toby gave me a worried look and sped out the classroom door. I stood up, but only to feel the nauseous and dizzy feeling to make me plop back into the chair, holding my head while the room began to spin.
"Diana." His booming voice growled. He sounded really angry this time and I was worried what I did.
I rubbed my watering eyes and looked behind me, looking at him. "Yes?"
"Come here." He said lowly, the venom causing me to shiver.
I stood up and walked to him, but slowly. When I was at the chair beside the one he sat at he snatched it away, causing me to stand awfully close above him.
"What..."
"What is this." He grumbled, lifting the note with two fingers.
I held my breath. "I don't know. I didn't get to read it." I snapped back at him, causing his eyes to widen the slightest in shock, but then he got even more angry.
"Read it, then." He said and I took it from him.
Hey Diana Im sorry for barging in on you and Andy. I didnt realize what was going on until I saw you two---- anyway I hope your feeling okay. I know how awful you must feel after an entire night of no sleep and being kinda drunk and then having to go to school with no sleep at all. I promised Andy I wouldn't tell & I wont. Im just glad hes scoring with someone. With you especially! Hes living a dream! I got carried away sorry. And Ill be knocking from now on when entering his apartment... Sleep good tonight!
I stared at the paper, not bothering to hold back the embarrassment on my face. "Did... Did you.."
"What are you, stupid? Of course I read it." He snapped at me. "I ought to call you're father."
I could only smile sadly. Barely. "You ought to." I agreed quietly.
"I didn't know you were like this." He spat, reminding me of Ryan who said something very similar before.
I only shrugged, knowing it wasn't the truth, and it didn't matter because his opinion of me didn't matter.
"Sleeping around with men and staying up at night getting drunk? What's wrong with you?"
"Can I go now?" I asked boredly.
He stood up, his chest brushing against mine barely, making me walk back. "No." He said darkly. "Explain what is going on with you and Andy Carl. A millionare- a business man."
"That's none of your business." I said to him, trying to turn to leave, but he grabbed my hand and spun me back around.
"You're my student." He towered over me now, with those deep and heated eyes suffocating mine. "You are my business."
I scoffed. "That's stupid, and not true."
"Tell me and you can go."
"Why does it matter?" I snapped loudly, yanking my hand away.
"Stop talking to me like that!" He roared.
"Why not? You always talk to me like that. Hell! You're worse." I stepped away from him but he stepped back towards me.
"I can-"
"No you can't. I'm not a piece of trash. I'm a person. Maybe that's why you seem so damn lonely, you treat everyone like shit." I said to him.
I hadn't meant for it to slip out, but there was no going back. His face morphed into the epitome of livid, and I looked back into those burning eyes and regarded my fear, though it was wanting to show.
I took an angry step away from him and he stayed where he was; I took that time to turn around and head to the door as quick as I could. He didn't stop me either.
...
At home I worked on everything I thought needed work. Andy hadn't called me, so there were no distractions.
I had a painting to work on for an art project and it was very calming. I relieved probably a fraction of my stress, which was a big deal.
It wasn't anything special, just a freechoice landscape with a lot of dripping and messy watercolor.
Keys jingling into front door awoke me from my meditating trance and I turned to see Bailey looking around the house in an awed expression. He looked back to me and met my eyes. "I see you've cleaned the house..." He said and smiled shyly, that same smile he usually gave before apologizing.
I nodded. "Yeah." I said casually and he plopped onto the couch and leaned towards the spot on the floor-where I sat- and admired my painting.
"I'm sor-"
"Sorry, I know. It's fine." It was fine. After all, I couldn't get mad at him for doing something completely out of character because I did the same just hours ago, and I wasn't allowing myself to act like a hypocrite.
"The guys are too."
"I know."
"Are you okay?" He asked genuinely.
"Of course." I smiled up at him. I had already forgiven them, but I just wanted time alone to dwell on my decisions. I was disappointed in myself and I had to admit, a little embarrassed. It honestly wasn't responsible at all to get drunk and cry and kiss some man I barely knew. It showed Andy a weak part of me that was pathetic.
Mr. Grant? I wanted to say I could care less about how I talked to him, but he was my teacher. Of course I was embarrassed. He looked so livid at the moment I thought he would kill me. Even if he treated me worse, I still felt bad because it just wasn't me.
I don't drink, I don't talk back to my teachers, I don't stay at men's houses.
This was just so wrong of me.
"Are we allowed back in the house?" Bailey asked.
"Yes, you are." I said.
The thing was, school was now something that scared me. I stood up and cleaned off my paint brushes, laying them side by side to dry and walked up the stairs as Bailey was leaving.
I made my plan then and there as I stood in the shower. I was done acting out. I needed to start acting like an adult, because if I didn't, things would fall apart. I couldn't have my father come home to me being broken. School was what mattered. Whether my teacher liked me or not.