A/N: I said I wouldn't keep you waiting long, so here's your answer to that cliffhanger. Thank you for reading, supporting, voting, and commenting :) xo
***
My heart beat audibly as my mom's hand gripped mine tighter from my position on the table, in the silence of Dr. Parks' office.
"So now what?" I asked, looking up at the doctor.
"Now you rest."
I sighed. "I feel like all I do is rest."
"Don't argue," my mom said. "Listen to the professional. Just this once. Please."
Dr. Parks chuckled at her words. "Your mom is right. Trust me, we don't want to push it. A healthy mommy equals a healthy baby."
"I've gone from feeling useless to helpless to scared shitless," I muttered.
"These things unfortunately happen," she answered. "They're frightening, but you acted fast. Not that polyps cause miscarriages; however, the quick thinking on your part and your father-in-law's advice were both vital. Sometimes our bodies shake us to the core to remind us to slow down. So relax and breathe for a few days."
I looked at the ultrasound photo in my free hand. The little grey and white blob that confirmed our baby was still in there and doing okay despite my episode. My head was spinning with gratitude and anxiety. An interesting combo to say the least.
"Whatever I have to do to keep this one safe," I said.
Dr. Parks smiled warmly and it calmed my still panicked nerves. "It's only 48 hours, but no rigorous activity for the next seven months anyway. Sound easy enough?"
I nodded with a grin. "Thank you for your demeanor and concern today. I know we're in good hands."
"Yes," my mom added. "Thank you for caring for both of my babies. We're very fortunate this wasn't a devastating visit."
"The pleasure is mine, ladies. I have no doubt everything will continue in a positive direction. Kelsey is very healthy and cervical polyps occur naturally due to increased estrogen levels. Her body went into overload if you will, and it wasn't anything she could've prevented. There's a chance you'll have them again, but if so we will hopefully catch them before another bursts. No more inducing panic for mommy."
I chuckled. "I have a little troublemaker in there. Pray for me."
We all laughed together.
"Do not hesitate to call if you have any further questions or concerns. My line is always on."
My mom and I both shook her palm before she exited the room. I closed my eyes as the stream of tears finally released, leaning my head back. The medical paper crunched beneath its weight.
"Thank the good Lord above you are both fine." I could hear the quivering in her voice as she joined me in my emotions.
We'd held it together like true champions, and I'd never been more proud to be her daughter, because I knew my strength had been passed on from her. She had gotten me through my entire life, trials, celebrations, and now it was my turn to draw from her and be strong for my baby.
"Agreed," I whispered, wiping the dampness on my sleeves. "What a freaking nightmare. I don't know what I would have done if...never mind. I can't go there again. My nerves are shot."
Her voice was shaky as she said, "No, let's not think about the what ifs."
I looked over and smiled. "I'd like to go home now."
She wiped her face before doing the same to mine. "Why don't you stay at our house tonight?"
"I really want my own bed. We have plenty of guest rooms for you."
She smirked. "You know your room is still the same. You have a bed with us, too."
"Mom please," I released her grip to dab my eyes. "I need Jamie's scent and to be near the things that remind me of him."
"Okay, sweetie," she said.
I was glad she didn't press the issue. His pillow and t-shirts were the closest things I could get to the real thing, and I didn't want to spend the night in my childhood room. A room where I snuck in other guys and had make out sessions with men who weren't my husband. At least the memories in the lake house were only ours. I needed to be close to that.
"Thank you for coming with me. You and Jamie are the only ones who could get me through a scare like this."
She stood, kissing my cheek. "My baby is having a baby. There's no place else I'd be when you both need me."
She helped me up from the table as I straightened out my clothes and hair. A slight ache between my legs from where she scraped the polyps caused me to wince, but it beat the hell out of the alternative. It was a pain I could tolerate and live through, the other would not have been.
***
"Do you need anything before I head to bed?" my mom asked.
She'd changed into her PJs after we stopped at her house to pack a small bag and calm my dad's racing mind. He'd let out tears of relief as he held me tightly, thanking God we were all right. He encouraged my mom to stay as long as I needed her. It would be nice to have someone around for a couple of nights, even if it was because I wasn't allowed to do anything.
"I'm fine, but thank you."
"And you're sure you don't need help up the stairs?"
I shook my head. "I'm not as achy as I thought. I'll probably just call Jamie then sleep it off myself."
"I hate that he's been at work this entire time. He'll be a wreck when he finds out."
"I know. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but there's nothing we can do. He can't give up everything over a chance there'll be an accident at home."
She smiled. "You don't need to convince me, sweetie. It's him that'll need the pep talk. You know he's going to blame himself."
I sighed. "We're both feeling guilty. Can you imagine if this had happened in LA, though?"
She shuddered. "I don't even want to go there. Because then I would've been a mess, and your mom's heart is older and more fragile than his."
I giggled at her. "I'm not sure I'd trust anyone outside of Jim, Samina, or Dr. Parks to care for me anyway. I guess things do happen for a reason."
"Exactly." She tapped my knee. "Listen to the good people and get your rest, okay? I'll see you in the morning."
"Goodnight." I returned a kiss to her cheek before she departed, leaving me to a quiet, empty room.
I had called Jim the moment we walked out of the clinic doors like I'd promised. Jamie's dad was an amazing man by default; however, he'd quickly become my confidant during the pregnancy, and I appreciated how close we'd grown. His expertise soothed my nerves. Our mutual dedication to Jamie's happiness only amplified our relationship further. I was my daddy's girl, but was grateful to have another male figure to seek advice from. If it hadn't been for Jim's calming approach when I first called, I would've been a terrified mess the entire day. I was fortunate to marry into a supportive family.
He was of course elated to hear the news was nothing major, as he'd suspected. He mirrored my doctor in saying there was nothing I could've done to prevent them and that they were routine. Although, having the life scared out of me because of a busted polyp wasn't exactly what I'd dub normal. It was something I never wanted to experience again, of that I was sure. Our lucky charm still had seven months to cook, and from the looks of it, it was going to be a long race to the finish line.
I glanced at my phone every few seconds, willing Jamie to call. It was past eight o'clock in LA and the hours had moved like molasses while I waited for him to get off work. My mom had done her best to keep me distracted, but I ached to hear the one voice that made everything right in my world. I swiped the screen to check my service, making sure I had signal. It was iffy sometimes by the lake. Of course he hadn't called as soon as he was available like I'd asked. He'd probably gone back to his trailer, changed, chatted with the crew, and was waiting until he was alone at the hotel to talk. Maybe a reminder text wouldn't hurt, they could've run over on their filming.
I miss you :( today was crappy, and the only place I want to be is in your arms. Are you done? I need to call.
I listened to the swoosh as it sent my message. My tears fell out of nowhere as the weight of the day caught up with me. We were beyond lucky to be loved by so many people. Jim, who had talked me off the ledge and reassured me to stay strong. My mom, who literally held me up as I feared my world was crumbling. Dr. Parks, who was respectful and kind, more than any doctor I'd seen in the past. Our peanut was created from the deep love Jamie and I shared, and he or she would be born into the world already adored and cherished. All of that could have been lost. The fear hung with me, despite my attempts at shaking it off.
My phone finally dinged a few minutes later.
Please say you're okay? The baby? I'll be at the hotel in 10. I want to see you, FaceTime me.
I cried harder, bracing myself for the impact of my message. I had no idea how I'd tell him and reassure him simultaneously. I chose to be honest. He needed to be prepared for what he would see etched on my expression.
I'm a mess, but okay. We're fine. Not sure you wanna see my puffy face.
His response was immediate. Now I absolutely want to. Give me 5 minutes tops.
Alright babe.
I blotted my eyes with a tissue, pulling myself together while I waited. I took long deep breaths like I'd been told. The baby needed me to stay calm and strong, and since it was the only thing I was allowed to do I would. My phone buzzed on the armrest and I almost dropped it in the rush to answer. His handsome bearded face came into view after a few seconds and as expected, was covered in concern.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
"Hi," I whispered.
The sound of his accented voice instantly soothed my distress. He looked flawless in his black polo. His blue eyes were even brighter because of its color, and his strong arms were bursting at the seams. I bit my lip as I gazed at his chest hair peeking out of the buttons he'd left undone, wishing more than ever I could rest my face right there and feel his warmth consume my anxiety.
He smirked. "Hi, I miss you."
"God, I really miss you. Especially today."
"Why? Talk to me."
"I went to see Dr. Parks, because I had a scare."
He ran both hands through his golden locks. "What happened?"
"I wish I didn't have to say this over the phone."
"Say it, you're scaring me to death."
"I was scared myself, but it's okay now. There was blood in my panties and I panicked. So I called your dad and he told me to get checked just in case. Mom took me to Dr. Parks and she looked over everything."
His face drained of all color and I wasn't sure if he'd stopped breathing or if the video had frozen.
"Wait...bleeding...my dad...what did?" He couldn't even form full sentences and the aching in my heart grew. He stood and began pacing back and forth in front of the camera. I could no longer see his face, only the nervous movements of his hands.
"Babe, we're both fine. False alarm. I had a polyp that ruptured."
I waited, giving him time to process it until he finally sat down. He threw his head back and looked at the ceiling for a long moment.
"Shit," he said, meeting my gaze again. "I'm... I don't know what to say. Pissed I wasn't there for you and hate you had to experience that fear, but beyond thankful you and our little one are okay."
I nodded. "I was terrified when she said she wanted to ensure I hadn't mis--" I couldn't verbalize it. The important thing was it wasn't a reality we had to face. Our baby was in there and growing, safe from danger.
I began crying as I stared at his beautiful profile that was hundreds of miles away. "But I really wish you'd been there."
"Fuck!" he cursed, throwing what looked like a pen across the room.
"Don't, please," I begged. "I'll be fine."
"I shouldn't have taken this fucking role after we found out you were pregnant. Now or October, the timing wasn't right. I should be there with you, kissing it all away."
I cried harder, because that's exactly what I wanted. "You're trying, but you're not helping."
I chuckled to lighten the mood. It didn't work. His jaw tightened as he gripped his hair and shook his head. "I'll be there tomorrow."
"What? No! I promise I'm all right. I want to feel your warm embrace more than you can imagine, but I can't ask you to leave."
"They can find a replacement. You need me more."
"I do need you, but I can wait. You'll ruin your reputation if you walk, and I'll be the reason. The tabloids will have another field day."
He regarded me for a long pause. He had to know I was right, and I knew his internal battle was a difficult one, but he needed to trust I would be okay. I never wanted to drop the news on him over the phone. However, I couldn't keep it from him for another ten days then hurt him as soon as he walked in the door.
"I want my dad to see you again when he's in town," he said.
"Jamie, it wasn't my OB's fault. Dr. Parks is wonderful."
"I know she is, but I'd feel better if he could check everything."
"That's such a hassle. Where will he even see me? On the floor of our house with your daughter watching?"
He laughed. "Baby, I wish you knew how much I don't care if it's a hassle or where it'll be done. I know he'll agree if I ask."
"Why can't he just go with us to an appointment instead?"
He furrowed his eyebrows. "Were you uncomfortable with his check-up in Belfast?"
"Of course not. It was my idea. But I don't think your dad needs to use his vacation to go over what we already know is fine. I trust Dr. Parks to take care of me. She's an amazing OB."
"Well, you're also married to the best OB in Northern Ireland's son."
I bit my lip to mask my grin. "We'll see. I have a feeling you're not going to let this go."
"Correct," he said with a wink. I watched him anxiously chew the corner of his thumbnail as he gazed down at his keyboard. "I'm sorry, beautiful. Regretfully sorry I'm thousands of miles away and you're dealing with the aftermath on your own."
"It could've been worse," I mumbled. "I don't know how I would've..." I trailed off, wiping my tears at the horrific thought that I could've miscarried our first child.
"Shh," he cooed. "Please don't cry. I can't stand seeing you like this and not being able to comfort you."
"I should've gone to LA like you asked. I want to be with you so much right now."
He wiped his own eyes and I knew the impact of what could've been was striking him as well. "Baby, you have no idea how much I ache to be at your side. I should leave on the next flight so I can be there by morning."
"I wish that was a good idea. I love you too much to let you lose a role over nothing. I have family here to comfort me. I'm not alone."
"And that's the only thing keeping me away. Why don't you stay with your parents while I'm gone?"
I shook my head. "Mom's staying here for a couple of nights. I told her I'd do better in our bed, hugging your pillow."
He sniffled and it caused my heart to physically hurt. My hormones weren't helping.
"I'll be home soon and will hug you for as long as you'll let me. I promise. I'd reach through the phone right now if I could."
"I know," I said. "What are your plans tonight?"
He smirked. "I don't have any. I'm pretty boring without you."
I giggled. "Oh please. Not true. But if you're not going anywhere, I have a small request."
"Name it."
"Will you stay on the phone with me? I want you here even if you're not."
"Of course." His face lit up at my request.
"Do whatever you need to. I'm going to go watch TV in bed."
"I'll be here. Need to read over tomorrow's script, but feel free to interrupt."
I carried the iPad upstairs with me as I watched him walk around his hotel room. He pulled out some papers from his backpack before picking up his Mac and carrying it to the bedroom. We both set our devices on the mattresses and adjusted the screens so we could watch each other.
"You okay?" he asked.
"This is comforting, yes."
"That's what I wanted to hear."
I flipped on the TV and scrolled through the DVR recordings. "What am I allowed to watch on this list?"
He moved his gaze from his papers, ruffling through them. "Wait for me on The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, and SNL. They're all season finales."
"Okay." I smiled over at him. "Sappy Lifetime movie it is."
"Mute the iPad," he said.
I gasped. "Rude, I will not!"
He laughed loudly. "I'm teasing. I'll be distracted in a minute anyway."
Silence grew between us, as we both got lost in our tasks. He made fun of me all the time for watching corny chick flicks, but he didn't get a choice tonight. Although he wasn't even paying attention, it still made me grin.
I was caught between watching the movie and watching him mouthing his lines. He was a gorgeous man, and I loved the way his eyelashes stretched toward his cheeks while he read the script. His soft, plump lips moved gently as he read aloud to himself. I bit my own when his expression changed, practicing how he'd act it out.
I settled into the mattress, pulling the covers over my shoulders and rolling toward the iPad to continue my gazing. He was far more interesting than the drama happening on TV. He looked up when he saw my movement.
"Sleepy?"
I shrugged. "Emotionally drained."
He nodded. "I'm trying to push the thought from my mind."
"I'm sorry I ruined your night. I didn't want to wait until you came home to tell you."
"No, I needed to know. I can't imagine how painful it was to go through that scare. And of course today was a long filming day or I would've been around for you sooner. I'm sorry I wasn't."
It had been difficult to wait for him. Especially since he hadn't called the moment he was done like I'd hoped, but I let it slide. Reliving the nightmare with him was enough torture for us both.
"We need to stop apologizing to each other," I said. "It's not your fault I had polyps or that you had to work late. Just like it's not my fault I had to tell you over the phone. We can do this though."
"You're right, baby."
"We shouldn't be sorry for things that are out of our control."
His blue-grey eyes stared at me through the screen while I waited for his response. "How are you real?" he asked. "You blow me away. Every single day."
I smiled shyly at his sweet compliments.
"I agree," he said. "We have to manage even when times get tough. And I really don't want to be here anymore, but we will get through these next ten days."
"We will, because I've never loved someone so much that I'm willing to sacrifice any and everything to be with them."
He rubbed his face. "You're killing me."
I laughed. "Stop."
"Seriously. I went from wanting to hold you to wanting to make love to you within a matter of minutes. And I can't do either."
"But you can tell me you love me and stay on the phone until I fall asleep."
He grinned. "I do love you, endlessly. More than you'll ever know. I'd lay down my life for you and that baby."
I didn't want to cry, so instead I closed my eyes and listened to his sweet words in his sexy accent.
"You are my everything, Kelsey Dornan. My soulmate and best friend. The mother of my unborn child. I love you with every fiber of my being."
I stifled my sobs. "I love you, James. Until the end of time."
"And I miss you," he whispered.
I looked through watery lashes to see him. "I miss you, too."
"Get some rest," he said. "I'll be here watching you sleep."
"You need to be working."
"You're more important. Now stop worrying about me and close those beautiful eyes. You've had a long day, and that rascal inside is determined to keep you on your toes."
I giggled. "Already taking after Daddy and being stubborn."
"Okay seriously, go to sleep."
I laughed harder with a shrug. "Truth hurts."
He rolled his eyes, so I closed mine. "But yes, let's hope he or she takes after Mama instead."
My heart sang at the sound of him calling me that. We were going to be parents. And after his ability to talk me down from every ledge, I knew he'd never let anything happen to us, near or far; he was our safety net.
***
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