Healing Gabriel: Chapter Four
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※(*)※Gabriel's POV※(*)※
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Evan was silent for a few moments, staring at me with intense eyes full of sincere protectiveness. "Who is 'he'?" he asked, deep in thought.
"I d-don't know," I admitted. Which was the truth. I did not know who he was. When the police caught him, and the news focused all of their shows on him being caught, I didn't watch it. I couldn't look at his face again. It was so ugly. Which was odd, because I remember when I first laid eyes on him, I thought that he was beautiful. But ever since his true colors had been shown, I did not think that he was handsome anymore. I thought he was ugly, the way his face twisted in rage and the way the blood splattered onto his face.
Just thinking about his lime green eyes made me sick. I felt my hands start to tremble and my stomach start to churn. The more I thought about him, the more I felt myself start to close down. My mind was set into panic mode. My skin started to burn. I needed to think about something else.
"Did he scare you?"
Yes. And he still does.
"Was he drunk?"
He practically bathed in alcohol.
"He cussed a lot, didn't he?"
In every sentence he sneered.
"Did he touch you?" Evan asked.
Everywhere.
"Are you okay? What happened? Gabe?"
"Just s-stop asking questions! Forget about it!" I snapped.
"No, tell me what's bothering you. Nobody just starts crying out of nowhere for no reason at all."
"I-I'm not crying," I whispered, self-consciously touching my face. My cheeks were wet, and my nose felt a little runny. I grabbed a napkin from the table, then blew my nose.
"You can trust me."
"I c-can't trust anyone, anymore," I replied. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand.
"Tell me, what did he do?"
A short silence passed between the two of us. Could I trust him? Nobody knew about my past except for my mom, my dad, and one other girl. I met her when I was in recovery at the hospital in my hometown. She had told me that she was raped by him. She'd told me that he had a room full of young girls next to the room full of boys, and that she'd escaped it. I had told her to go away, that I did not want to talk or even think about it. She respected my choice and left.
I never saw her again.
If I told Evan to go away, would he? And if he did, would I ever see him again? Something inside me did not want him to leave me alone. I wanted him to protect me, but I was afraid to let him. Because he could always turn out to be a monster in disguise. Just like him.
"I'm going to bed," I said, standing up from the kitchen chair. I exited the kitchen.
"Wait a minute! Gabe, tell me what happened." I ignored him. I went down the hallway, then up the stairs. I heard him follow after me, still saying my name. I got to my room door and unlocked it with a swift twist of the doorknob. "Stop ignoring me!" Evan huffed.
I was too tired to care that he followed me into my room. I went over to my bed, then laid down on it in my wet boxer shorts and towel. I pulled the white blanket over me, then closed my eyes. I tried to calm my mind by thinking about pointless things, like simple math problems or how many different shades I could paint the ocean.
"Gabriel, please. I'm really confused. I just want to help you, but I can't if you won't tell me what happened."
He wasn't going to let this go.
"I--" I started, but I couldn't even get the rest of the words out. I choked on a sob that seemed to be stuck in my throat, then started crying. Just thinking about it . . .
"Shh, Gabe. Don't cry. You're okay," Evan comforted in a soft voice, different from his urgent one he used fifteen seconds ago.
"J-just understand, Evan, that I was hurt beyond repair," I whimpered pathetically, placing my right arm over my eyes. And then, the aftermath of the earlier events in the day overcame me. I heard a door close, then footsteps going down the stairs. I closed my eyes, then retreated into the darkness of nightmares that housed inside my mind.
"Oh my God, he looked at me!" a voice shrieked as I walked past a small group of seniors. I looked over at the mixture of girls and guys. One guy was 'gasping' and pressing himself against a locker. All of his friends were laughing and smirking at me.
I hated Evan. For a moment, that is.
If he never made me purge up those pills, I wouldn't have to be here to face this all today. I could finally be at rest, done with this vile world.
"Eeeek! He tapped my shoulder! I'm gonna die!"
"Things like Little Boy Freak are meant to be dumped and forgotten in nuthouses, not able to enjoy the rest of the world like normal human beings."
"Who would be afraid of the human touch? That just shows how much of a weirdo he is."
I felt somebody shove me from behind. I caught myself before I tumbled to the ground. I told myself over and over again not to cry.
"Hey, back off!" a voice said from behind me, towards the bullies.
I ignored the other taunts as I speed-walked quickly down the hallway. I slipped into the library, leaving the taunting behind. Only a few people came to the library during study hall. The others all went to the lunchroom. I went to the back of the library and sat down on the carpet. I pulled my knees to my chest and hid my face in them.
I resented Evan. I wish he hadn't saved me from my suicide attempt. Because of him, I have to face today. I've been getting teased all day, and it was all Evan's fault.
No, it was Jurnee's.
If she never sent that video . . . if she never was even there . . .
"Gabe, are you alright? Did any of them hurt you?"
Startled, I looked up at the voice. Evan stared back down at me, covering his nose with a wad of tissues. "What h-happened to your nose?" I asked. It was a bit scratchy, so I cleared it.
"If I tell you, will you tell me what that guy did to you?" he asked, bending down in front of me. I thought about it. Was it really worth it? He's just another jock. Like he would care if I was molested. He'd probably laugh. He'd probably tell everyone. He'd probably--
I nodded.
"I shoved a freshman for calling you worthless. He gave me a bloody nose. I gave him a busted lip. Now we're even," Evan said. A hint of a smile pulled at the corner of his lips. I almost felt my heartbeat quicken. He defended me? That was a first. "Now, tell me why you're so afraid."
I laid my head back against the books behind me, then let out a breath. I stared up at the ceiling, saying the three words over and over again in my head.
I was molested.
I was molested.
I was molested.
I closed my eyes, then opened my mouth.
"I . . ." Evan was totally silent. The school bell rang, starting the first half of lunch. Nobody had study hall at the time, leaving the library completely vacant.
"You?" Evan pressed after I felt my throat start to tighten.
" . . . I can't tell you."
"You lied to me!" he accused. I opened my eyes, looking at him. He was standing up now, his wad of bloody tissues clenched in his hand. His nose was bleeding out freely. I was about to say something, but he cut me off. "I saved you from dying!" he yelled.
"Maybe I didn't want to be saved! Maybe I wanted to die!" I sot back. I felt my eyes begin to overflow.
His eyes seemed to boar down into mine, until finally, his gorgeous brown eyes turned cold and hard. And then, he did something so heartless, so heartbreaking, so heart-wrenching.
He turned around and walked away.
~*~
〒|〒Evan's POV〒|〒
"Maybe I didn't want to be saved! Maybe I wanted to die!" Gabriel said, his blue eyes forming into an ocean of tears.
I was done with him being so confusing. I got a bloody nose for him. I gave a kid a busted lip for him. I fucking saved his life. And how am I repaid for my deeds?
'I can't tell you.'
What a load of shit.
I turned away from him, then stormed out of the library. I heard his sniffling and small cries. When the door shut behind me, I walked down the hallway. Jurnee and her friends were by her locker, laughing and showing each other some fashion magazine.
"Will you all stop being such uptight, arrogant bitches for once?" I snapped at them. They all gasped. "Oh, and Jurnee, I hope karma bites you in the ass."
"Excuse me?"
"That skirt makes your ass look big."
"Oh my God, Evan! You're so rude!" she gasped out dramatically as I walked past her. I went through the lunchroom, then stopped when I got to the 'popular' table.
"Damn, Evan. Need a napkin?" Slater asked sarcastically. Everyone at the table chortled.
"Haha, yeah, that's funny. Real funny. Know what else is funnier?"
"What?"
"This." I took Axel's soda and poured it on top of Slater's head.
The table's laughter immediately died down. "Ricci . . . " he said, slowly, clenching his fists together. His face became red with anger.
"Yeah, 'broski'?"
"I'm giving you exactly three seconds to get the fuck out of my way before I turn your ass to pulp." Judging by the look in his raging blue eyes, I knew he wasn't joking. "One . . . " he started. I watched as Axel rose from his seat to help Slater. Two against one . . . well, I could've fought with Slater, yes. And I could've easily won a fight against Axel. But I wasn't going to go against Slater and Axel. I'm not a dumb ass.
I took off as soon as he got to three.
"Damn, you're home early," Dylan said as I slammed the front door shut behind me.
"Shut up," I growled at him. I tossed my school bag against the floor, then went into the kitchen for something to eat.
"Aww, is someone's monthly gift coming out the wrong hole again?" he called from the living room, laughing.
"I said, shut up."
"Shut can't go up--" Before he could finish I raced into the living room and tackled him. "Get the hell off me, psycho!" he yelled. We both spent the next five minutes beating the crap out of each other and yelling very foul and unnecessary language at one another, until we heard Mom's car park in the driveway. I remembered that we told her there would be no fighting between the two of us at the new house.
"Shit! You're such a fag, Evan! Look what your idiot self did to my perfect face!"
"I told you to shut up . . . " I muttered, getting up from the floor. I went to the kitchen to get a steak. As I walked back upstairs to my room, I glanced at myself in the hallway mirror. I looked terrible. On my right eye, a black eye was getting worse by the seconds. My left cheekbone was swollen with a terrible bruise that was just beginning to form. Not to mention my previous bloody nose. Now, I had a second one.
I went to my room and plopped down on my bed. I didn't give a shit about my blood splattering all over the bedspread. I was tired, bored, and I knew that I was going to get it when Dylan told our mom that I skipped half a day of school.
My body was sore, and my mind was foggy. I couldn't think straight, and I'm pretty sure one of my eyes were swollen shut. I pressed the steak to my eye, then let out a sigh of relief as some of the pain began going away.
I think I understood how Gabe felt.
Sometimes, you just want to sleep, and not wake up. Just to shut down, and give up. To vanish. To disappear.
Was it a bad idea to have him ring the doorbell on Death's door, but to only end up running back to Life again?
I didn't know, because I think I lost a little too much blood for the day and fainted instead of falling asleep.
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Note
Gwaaah! Chapter Four! :U I bet you all thought Gabe was gonna tell Evan his secret...OH WELL!
Hope you enjoyed this chapter! It's a little short...but...It's for all the fans of this story, nonetheless! <3
And now, I shall go type up the next chapter... <3
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