Healing Gabriel (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 49 (G)

The thing about people is that they are not put onto this earth to die.

It had taken me a while to realize that because I had always thought the exact opposite during the past five years of my life. Since the Incident, I had figured our souls had been packaged into our bodies for the sole purpose of death. I had thought that we, as humans, were put on this planet to watch others suffer, and then suffer ourselves. I had thought the only positive thing about living a life as dark as my own had been purposelessness; I had thought I was put on this earth to be used and reused by other people.

Never did I think I would be homed here, in this dimension, on this planet, birthed by the woman I call my mother, and become happy. Never did I think I would actually fall in love. Which means that, obviously, the universe has much bigger plans for those who are suffering. The universe did not decide to give people difficult circumstances only to let them suffer and die. The universe put each and every one of us here for one reason, and that reason has remained the same from the first day out of our wombs to the last day our souls would roam the earth. 

And that reason is, we were put on this earth to live.

Our purpose on this gigantic, rotating blue and green orb is to learn what it's like to be alive. And being alive is basically the state of living, and the word living is more than just a word. To live is more than just to die--it is to feel.

Throughout our lives, we go through millions of moments that shape our experiences into valuable existences. We are born craving love to fulfill our empty hearts, and as we grow older we are taught how to hate in order to fulfill our empty heads.

Life will not always treat us with care, though. Life will hold our hands one moment and shove us off a cliff the next. Life is unpredictable in that type of sadistic way, and as humans we are masochistic for it. Sometimes we like the things life has to offer, and even when we don't, we continue living anyways. I don't think that we necessarily enjoy the pain of landing on sharp-edged rocks at the bottom of a precipice, but I think we just suck it up and deal with it because we are desperate for things to get better.

People were put on this earth to get better.

We were put here to not only learn how unbearable pain may feel, but also how relieving it is when it's alleviated--when it's taken away. So when someone is suffering, there is a high chance that they will one day be able to beat the cards the universe dealt them. And when someone is dying, it only means that their time has come to an end and soon they will finally be okay.

That doesn't excuse death itself, though. Death is a terrible thing--actually, fuck death, and fuck it for taking away the people that I love. Death doesn't just kill that initial person, but also the people who held that person close to their hearts' deepest chambers. The thing is, though, those other people that Death "kills" don't get to go to the same place as the dying person. They are stuck here, on Earth, to suffer, and to hurt, and to feel like the world around them has betrayed them and deserves to come to an end. Because why should the sky stay blue and the grass continue to grow green if that person who made your heart and soul feel connected is gone? Why should young children laugh and elderly couples smile when the person who once made you happy to have endured all that suffering for so long because you finally found them, is gone?

I wasn't sure how life played out after that, after you lost someone you love. Of course it'd go on--the sun would shine and the birds would sing. And the worst part is, you wouldn't be able to shut it out. You would have to jump right into the whole "being alive" thing, and I think that's what hurts us the most. We can't just curl up next to our loved one and die with them--our hearts are too strong and our lungs are relentless and our minds just aren't numb enough.