"Describe camila in one word." The interviewer prompted.
"Stubborn." Lauren called out. Camila rolled her eyes and slapped Lauren playfully. The other girls nodded in agreement.
"So recently, fifth harmony has been all over the media." The interviewer started. The others girls nodded in response. Some in annoyance, but they wouldn't show that. "Can I talk about one specific thing I saw?"
"Uh yea. Sure." Lauren answered for the rest.
"Lauren and Dinah were seen entering a hospital and leaving with Camila. What was that whole situation?" Camila narrowed her eyes and almost scoffed. It was none of his business. It was no body's business besides the girls.
"I was visiting sick kids." Camila lied.
"For a week?" He continued to press on.
"Camila. No comment." Will told her through the earpiece she had on. Of course that's all she could say. Management thought was was back at home. When the paparazzi pictures got leaked she explained that she had a friend in the hospital and it was a really hard subject for her. It was another lie of course.
"Oh, uh, no c-comment. Please." Camila forced a smile and turned towards Ally who was sitting beside her.
"You okay?" Ally rubbed Camila's arm in support.
"Doe you need a breather?" Normani suggested. Lauren raised her eyebrows expectantly.
Camila nodded her head and proceeded to stand up and exit the room. She hated how fast she was whipped right back into the world of fame. She wasn't even out of rehab for a day. Camila could already see the headlines now, "Camila Cabello of fifth harmony storms out of interview after being asked why she was previously in the hospital."
Camila took a deep breathe and leaned against the wall behind her. She was trying to will herself not to have a panic attack. She heard the sound of heels clicking but didn't look up.
"Mila, we don't have to continue if you don't want to." Ally flashed a reassuring smile.
"It's just really none of his business. I'm so pissed. I don't want the fans to find out. They'll think I'm crazy and they won't be fans anymore. I'm doing no good for the group. I'm the reason you had to cancel shows. And now the fans get no explanation for the canceled dates. I'm fucking everything up. Everything. Literally everything Ally." Camila let fresh tears roll down her face.
"I know. I know." Ally soothed. "But you aren't fucking things up for us cammie."
"Management and the label is going to find out about this. They're going to blackmail me or something I don't know. I'm scared. I can't help a fucking eating disorder. They're going to destroy us. I don't know. I don't even have control of my life!" Camila stressed. She was hoping Lauren would come out of the building and be her hero in this situation, but she didn't.
"They can't do that okay? It's going to be just fine. They don't have to find out. It's not like they care about us anyways. They just want money." Ally pulled camila in for a hug. She nodded in response. Ally had a point.
Camila pointed towards the building, silently asking Ally to go back in. The shorter girl nodded and took the lead.
"Where's Lauren?" Camila questioned, observing that Normani was the only other person around besides Ally. "And DJ?"
"Well, you see, Lauren kinda freaked out. She was pissed off at the interviewer. We noticed she seemed tense and her glare she was holding wasn't helping her situation. Dinah took her for a walk." Normani explained.
"Oh." Was all Camila managed to get out.
"Where is she?"
Ally spoke up.
"They just went down that road." Normani pointed towards the road through the glass doors.
Lauren and Dinah appeared in sight a couple minutes later. Camila walked outside, but not before stumbling over the curb.
"You good, babe?" Lauren smiled and placed one arm around Camila's waist.
"Yeah I'm just a klutz. I'm not dizzy or anything." Camila reassured. "You don't seem mad?"
"Just needed a breather."
"Let's go home." Ally called. Lauren nodded and walked towards the large car.
-
Camila never thought she'd let her eating disorder get as bad as it was. But here she is, in the food court of a mall, trying to withhold herself from having a panic attack. 5 years ago, all she was trying to do was loose weight for the cheer team. Now, she was sitting at the same weight she was when she auditioned for the team. The same weight a normal 11 year old would weigh. It wasn't even that big of a deal to lose weight to her. But that was back then. She started off with just eating a little healthier. It gradually progressed into skipping breakfast, then lunch. And eventually she ate nothing for days at a time.
Her cheer coach told her they would kick her off the team if she lost any more weight. But she didn't listen and she continued to lose weight. Her dad couldn't afford to pay for cheer on his own anyways. It didn't matter to her anymore. No one worried about her anymore when she quit the cheer team. Except for her childhood friend Mackenzie.
Camila felt bad for admitting it, but she was glad her parents divorced in a sense. If anyone did find out about her eating disorder, she could blame it on the divorce. It would actually give her a reason.
"Camila," Lauren broke the Cuban out of her thoughts. "I know not everything is going to change overnight. But can you please try for me. And stop bouncing your leg. Please."
"Lauren, I just got dazed out a little. I'm fine I wasn't stressing." Camila only half lied.
"You know how it goes. You don't eat, I don't eat." Lauren coaxed.
"I never said I wasn't going to eat Lauren." Camila sat staring at the plate of food in front of her for a good while.
"Camila." Lauren stressed. Hearing her name out of Lauren's mouth used to be one of her favorite things. But not she wasn't so sure. Lauren only called her Camila when she was trying to be more stern.
"I literally don't see what you see. I know we have this conversation a lot but it's because it needs to be said. You need to eat. If you don't eat, your body starts to shut down. When your body shuts down, you die." Lauren groaned. "I seriously don't see how you can see yourself as "fat" Camila,"
"The mirror doesn't lie, Lauren."
"There's no book for this Camila." Lauren stressed.
"What?" Camila furrowed her eyebrows.
"There is no book on how to save your girlfriend with an eating disorders life. If that makes sense. I feel like I'm driving down a highway blindfolded. I don't know what I'm doing."
"I realize that Lo." Camila was begging Lauren to keep her voice down, she didn't want to cause a scene.
"If I didn't know any better I would think I was carrying sofi when I was carrying you. I could literally ask any one in here if they thought your were fat and they'd look at me like I have three heads. Actually," Lauren stood up from her chair and started walking in the direction of a crowd of people.
"Lauren, no. Please don't. Please d-do not." Camila placed her hands on Lauren's waist and pulled her backwards so their bodies conformed together. She wrapped her arms around Lauren's stomach and rested her head on Lauren's back.
"Okay. I'm sorry." Lauren took a deep breath to relax herself. Lauren had to recognize again that recovery wasn't easy. And even though Camila admitted that the week in rehab did help, it didn't really change anything.
Camila walked back to the table, making sure Lauren was behind her.
"You can't just sit there staring at me like I'm some kind of lost cause, just because I bite into a slice of pizza does not make me automatically better."
"I know Camz."
Camila was stalling. And Lauren knew that. But she was going to do everything she could to try to get camila to eat.
"If I'm being honest with you Lo, it's kind of hard eating in public. I think this is too much." Camila surveyed the cafeteria around her. The amount of people in the room gave her anxiety. She felt like all eyes were on her.
"You could have just told me that, love." Lauren reached across the table and took Camila's hand. She pushed their palms together, flattening their hands together. Lauren slid her fingers in between Camila's and interlocked their fingers.
"I can do this though Lauren. I promise I won't be stubborn." Camila stressed, referring to what Lauren had said earlier in the interview. And she did. She finished the slice.
Lauren relaxed and placed a kiss on Camila's cheek. She pulled her out to the car behind her. The green eyed girl opened Camila's car door and motioned for her to get in. The smaller girl smiled at the gesture.
"Who says you're driving?" Camila teased.
"I did." Lauren shrugged and spun the car keys around one of her fingers.
"I didn't."
"I'm always in control cam." Lauren winked at Camila with a smirk on her face.
The younger girl immediately shut her mouth as her face turned crimson from blushing.
Lauren got in her side and started driving back to the house. She placed one hand in the steering wheel as she took off, resting her other hand on Camila's thigh causing the smaller girl to squirm in her seat. She only moved her hand from Camila's leg when she had to steer with both hands.
The car ride was short and sweet. It was filled with random kisses at red lights and stop signs.
"Are you scared to die?" Camila's curiosity got the best of her and she spoke the silence between the 2 girls.
Lauren furrowed her eyebrows and began tracing small patterns of shapes on Camila's thigh.
"I'm not scared no. I mean the topic makes me a little anxious but, I don't think I would consider it being scared." Lauren took her eyes off the road for a second to study Camila's expression.
She was sitting with her legs pulled up on the seat, but what was new? She looked like she was concentrated or deep in thought.
"Are you?" Lauren returned.
"Yes." Camila answered simply, shrugging her shoulders. "I mean, I used to want to die. But now the thought terrifies me. I don't know. Forget it."
Lauren felt a weight lift off her chest but at the same time, she was still being weighed down. Hearing that camila was scared to die eased her thoughts around Camila's previous suicidal thoughts. But why was she thinking about death in the first place?
"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours, babygirl?" Lauren moved her hand from Camila's thigh to her cheek. She caressed her cheek with her thumb.
"I just, I don't know exactly. But I do know that anorexia could kill me. And the thought scares me, but I just want to keep loosing weight. I don't understand it." Camila leaned into Lauren's hand and sighed. "I don't really want to talk about it anymore."
The face that camila would open up and then shut down again leaving everyone dumbfounded frustrated Lauren. But it happened pretty frequently and she she wasn't getting camila to talk about it again.
Lauren came a red light. She looked over at camila in adoration. The small girl seemed tired but she was forcing herself awake. Camila looked and met Lauren's gaze. She blushed in response and her lips curved upwards.
"What?" Camila giggled and attempted to hide her blush with her hands. Lauren pried Camila's hands off her face and held Camila's hand, resting it on the center console of the car.
"You're just gorgeous." Lauren shrugged and began to drive down the road again after the light turned green. Camila felt the blush come back. She slapped Lauren playfully.
"Stop." She whined, dragging out the word.
"Complimenting you?" Camila nodded playfully. "I'm your girlfriend it's my job."
Camila felt butterflies in her stomach. She would never get used to hearing that. Even after 3 years, hearing that she was Lauren's girlfriend made her all giddy and happy.
"I know that not everything has been all unicorns and rainbows and happiness lately but, I'm really glad that I have you," Camila expressed. "You're gonna stay right? With me?"
"Of course princessa." Lauren pulled Camila's hand up to her lips and kissed the back of her hand.
"Do you want to go home? Or do you have other plans?" Lauren questioned.
Camila sat silently. She was leaning her head against the window and silently humming the song "scars to your beautiful".
"I swear you ignore me sometimes." Lauren rolled her eyes playfully. "Just remember, when you're ignoring someone, you're teaching them how to live without you." Lauren quoted.
Camila groaned in response. She picked her head back up off the window and turned towards Lauren.
"I'm not ignoring you Lauren. I'm sleepy." Her voice was slightly raspy.
"Take a nap then baby. It's been a long day." Lauren stroked the back of Camila's hand with her thumb.
"I don't want you to carry me in the house."
"Why not?"
"Because Lauren. I just don't want you to." Lauren frowned. She knew what Camila was alluding too.
"Cameeela." Lauren whined. The small girl groaned.
The small girl laid down, resting her head on the center console of the car, the rest of her body pulled into a ball on her seat. Lauren reached one hand down and ran her fingers through Camila's hair, accidentally putting her to sleep.
At least Lauren won that battle. The older girl found it hard to concentrate on the road. Camila still had a pretty tight grip on Lauren's hand, even in her sleep. Lauren stared at Camila in adoration when she got the chance. Her face lit up, she looked content and peaceful. It was something Lauren missed seeing.
The rest of the car ride was silent with the exception of the radio playing quietly. Lauren went out of her way to avoid the holes in the road so Camila wouldn't wake up.
Lauren pulled into the driveway of the gated mansion. The house they lived in was highly secured. Camila started to stir a little, hearing Lauren talk to the guards. She furrowed her eyebrows and sat up in her seat.
"Have a nice day Ms. Cabello." He joked with Lauren. The green eyed girl felt her cheeks go red and a smile grew on her face.
"Did he just call you Ms. Cabello?" Camila rubbed her eyes. Lauren jumped a little, startled that Camila woke up.
"Uh, yeah." Lauren smiled. "It's funny though because I always thought you would take my last name?"
"For sure, no yeah." Camila exclaimed.
"That just fucked with my mind, speak English."
"I would for sure take your last name. I have negative associations with the Cabello side of my family. Well, with my father. So I would definitely take your last name, making me," camila paused for a second and bit her lip. "Camila Jauregui."
"Camila Jauregui." Lauren repeated, letting the name roll off her tongue. The younger girl smiled, she liked the way it sounded.
Camila and Lauren exited the car and made their way into the house. Dinah was sitting on the couch, half asleep while Normani and Ally were in the backyard.
"We're getting married." Camila joked as she walked into the living room.
"You are?" That definitely snapped Dinah out of her sleepy state.
"You're getting ahead of yourself Camila. I said you could have my last name, not that you could marry me." Lauren teased.
"Not yet Dinah, but it'll happen. Sometime in the future." Camila made her way upstairs.
Dinah ran outside excitedly. She looked like a kid in a candy store with the amount of excitement she expressed.
"I wanna wait another, I don't know, 3 years." Lauren explained to Camila.
"Me too. 7 is a good number. There's no rush babe." She referred to the number of years they would be together in 3 years.
Lauren placed her hands on Camila's waist and pulled her in for a kiss. Camila smiled into making the kiss sloppy. Lauren took the other girls bottom lip in between her teeth lightly and pulled away, breaking the kiss.
"I'm definitely glad I can do that again." Camila expressed, Lauren nodded in agreement.
Ally came in a few moments later to remind the girls that they should start packing. They had a show in LA tomorrow, and then kickstarted the final leg of their 7/27 tour in other countries.
To say that Camila was nervous would be an understatement. She wouldn't have people constantly looking over her shoulder and making sure that she ate. Everyone would be too busy getting ready to go onstage. They would be in hair and makeup. They would take time to warm up their voices, they had meet and greets and recently decided to reintroduce sound checks. Some days the other girls might not even have time for 3 meals a day. But Camila knew that she owed it to herself to eat. So she would have to set aside extra time everyday. Or she would eventually fall back into her old habits. After the progress she made in the past week, she couldn't risk it.
Lauren pulled her down on the bed beside her. She insisted that they cuddle on the bed. Which is what Lauren called the "last comfy mattress they would touch for another month or two." Not that Camila argued though.
There wasn't spontaneous froyo that night. But their was plenty of spontaneous kisses and make out sessions.
Camila felt truly content for the first time in a while. She had everything she needed and more. She was recovering.
-------
I spoil you guys, you know that? I give you a new chapter, if not chapters, every week.
Also, happy New Years you fuckers. Hopefully 2017 isn't as shitty as 2016.
But for real, I'm hella appreciative for you guys ❤ and to have 45k views on this story? That's fucking wild.
Be sure to vote and pleaseeee comment (spam me with comments idc) because reading the comments make my heart happyyyy
Byeeee