Dear Newt,
If you were here beside me right now, I'd flick my fingers against your forehead. I'm literally an entire district away from you, so you're going to have to make do with imagination.
Hmph. Ooomph. Can you feel it? Can you feel me flicking your forehead?
I've never put you on any kind of pedestal, Newt. Okay--I did once, but that was a long time ago, back when I first met you. I kind of knew that you were doing this stuff to impress me, honestly, but I just gave you the benefit of the doubt and went with it.
I'm not asking you to be kind or honest or anything. I'm just asking you to be my boyfriend. But oh! Fool, I! You already are!
Thank you. I love you. Please continue to the best boyfriend in the world.
Yours sincerely,
Thomas