LONG WRITER'S NOTE AHEAD (You can just skip this part if you want)
First of all I'm very very very 10000x sorry for all of those who waited a year and months for this update. Don't kill me pls ㅠㅠ
I know I don't have the right to complain or reason out this long hiatus (well I'm inactive now just came back to finish this story ㅋㅋㅋ) but honestly I've cried so much tears for the last school year and been hectic on this school year, it was such a hell but I manage to overcome it and I got passing grades at least hahaha.
Plus I've been soo lethargic after the school year (well when wasn't I lethargic?). Now I'm chillin (not really), mostly reading BTS fanfics at ao3 btw you can find me there and I've already posted a fanfic about Yoonmin and Vmin (kindly read it ㅠㅠ) and also working on another. My username's creamio (#selfpromotion #soshameless) or you can just tweet me at @derping_jimin ^^ I'm really active there both twitter and ao3 so just beep me and I'll beep back right away ;)
So I'll grab this opportunity again to thank all of you for waiting, reading, giving feedbacks on this story, loving it all the way through the end. My lovely very patient readers, silent or not, thank you thank you so much for all the love and support and without you all this work of fiction would just rot in my drafts and it will not reach so many reads and also thank you so much for motivating me to write this until the end and I hope you'll support me and my works even Under Star have ended.
Here's the long chapter eveyone have been waiting, made in a week of rereading and remembering the intended scenes for this last chap so I'm sorry if there are plot holes or the writing style have changed. Disregard the typos, I posted this right after i finished typing all of it.
PS. I seriously am gonna kill someone here but nah, i'll make this happy hahahah
Thank you so much! Love y'all! 💕
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"Seriously Amethyst, act as if you've gone into life crisis or something." Chime scolded me as I still have the audacity to lay down my hospital bed, chilling while the freakos are busy applying their faint make-up-- they have really put effort. Wow.
The freakos in all places wanted to prepare for graduations here in my ward, with all the sterilized scent and bunch of hangers of dress and togas around the room. Chime also settled a make-up set on the corner complete with a big mirror minus the bulbs around it, a celebrity folding chair and a bathrobe. Like wow, really guys.
I still haven't come back home since the doctors just permitted me to get discharged just today so since I haven't prepared anything for the occasion, the freakos helped me with the dress I should wear and the graduation necessities like getting my toga, cap and my programme.
So while they're preparing for grad which I will also take part, thankfully I've reached the quota and damn you life struggles and stress watch me ramp on stage and get that diploma. I just watch them with their childish antics, the rants and small fights. I suddenly feel that this is the end, that I might not see them as frequent as now. We'll go on our separate lives, be responsible adults with respective jobs. Haist, I'm not gonna cry.
"Hey, Tee. You okay there?" Ericka worriedly asks as she hands me a tissue, a tear have already betrayed me and fell.
"Yeah. I'll just miss all these memories, the freakos, the hearbreaks, happiness, small talks, struggles, randomness and breakdowns. All of it. I hope everything stays the same between us, freaks." Addie suddenly hugged me followed by the two and Chime slapped me on my arm as she wipes a threatening tear to fall.
"How dare you mess with my mascara," and we all laughed hugging each other, savouring this last moment of youth within us.
Not long after the preparations, small talks and nonstop taking pictures, we all headed to the university. It was already jam-packed with overly excited students that are finally free from any school works, requirements and maths that aren't necessary in real life. It was a mixed of happiness and sadness today as this would be the end of school life, and a beginning to a bigger world to fit in.
The freakos greeted their parents and introduced me finally to them. They are all kind and welcoming, also worried about how the hell I have several scar marks from a lot of abuse and action stunt that I just pulled from after few months passed.
I excused myself from their conversations as I start people watching again, all have their parents. Mine? I'm fine by my own to be honest. I started living by myself since I have the senses to pull myself afloat. This wouldn't matter anymore from countless graduations and recognition I have all but attended by myself, receiving plaques, ribbons, certificates and medals just by myself.
A warm comforting hand laced its way on my waist, all too familiar figure that I have known even though I would not look back to see who it is.
"Ready for your speech?" I asked and finally looked at him, greeted me with a fond smile.
"Hello to you too, dork. I fell asleep last night so might just give an impromptu speech." He said shrugging, a smile still gracing in his face.
"What else a Trevor Chevalier can't do?" I joked but a glimpse of a faint sadness in his eyes glimmers for a second and then hides it away with a smile and ruffled my hair to mess. Good thing I didn't made effort to fix my hair.
"Not because I'm classified as intelligent in academics doesn't mean I'm also intelligent in other things." He justified humbly and I swear to any God I heard clearly what Trevor whispers to himself right before he left as the coordinators needs his presence.
"Just like how I can't make you fall for me like how you fall in love with my brother."
A pang suddenly throbbed in my chest. A feeling I can't decipher. I knew what Trevor is saying, I know what he means. From all his efforts and care he gave to me, I could just tell I'm starting to be. But that'll make me fell bad for choosing to love him not fully as what he gives me. I think I don't deserve any kind of tender love when all I give him is heartbreak and pain. He deserves better-- no, he deserves the best.
I've been out of consciousness for as long as I've realized the ceremony was about to start. The processional then starts with the freakos on different lines since we have different courses. Seated quite a distance but they keep on looking back and have fair shares of waving and wacky faces to make other freakos laugh to ease the boredom of long guest speeches and start of awarding of other course departments.
Addie's department went first, marching her way teary eyed as she claims her diploma and we three freakos cheered for her as she was mouthing finally to us. Next was Ericka going to the stage. A no. 1 fan cheering for her besides us freakos is her boyfriend, Evans, which started few months ago now when I was having my vacation in the hospital. Nonetheless, I'm happy for them as long as I see my friend happy. After few departments, Chime came next. Making the stage runaway, confidently making her way to her diploma as we cheered. She smiled to us and raised her hard earned diploma, the happiness and triumph overflowing.
Then few minutes more our department already standing. Little by little the gap of myself from the stage is decreasing. My heart starts to erratically beat like from being called in class recitations. This moment is nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time. Just few meters I'll reach what I deserve from 5 years of stress in school.
My internal monologues and peptalk came at halt as I was the person next to be called, waiting for my cue to come up the stage.
"Mendez, Thiell Amethyst." the emcee calls and my heart beats faster.
As I walk near to shake hands with one of my professors, the dean and some highly positioned personnel in our institution, everything moved like in slow motion. This moment feels surreal. They smiled at me and shook my hand, handing me my priced possession, the fruit to every hardwork. And as I walk to the front, I glanced at my diploma with my name encrypted in it, finally, all the hardwork paid off. I searched for the freakos in the audience and saw them clapping and cheering. I also saw Trevon clapping, no hard feelings now, I now don't give a f about him. And lastly, I saw from the Engineering department waiting in line, a dirty blonde headed nerd, with his hair messily brushed up and glasses propped at the tip of his nose, a smile gracing on his lips and fond look gazing at me, cheers loudly for me.
I smiled. Who could've thought a Trevor Chevalier, topped all the subs with 4.9 GPA, Magna Cum Laude is cheering for me.
I went back to my seat, waited for everyone to get their diplomas. As Trevor's name have been called, garnering all awards possible, I heard a lot of shocked gasps and wide eyes as they chatter with their classmates. It was in fact, that they thought Trevon is having a split personality and a teleportation powers. In the distance, I can hear Chime laughing and some already knew about the quarterback having a smart twin.
It wasn't long enough when he was gonna give his 'impromptu' speech to all of us. Since I am curious to what an impromptu speech a Trevor Chevalier can come up to, I intently listened.
"I didn't quite knew how to start my speech but I hope this makes sense." He chuckled looking down on his blank paper which I think serves as a props. With his humor everyone laughed even though the speech haven't started yet.
His eyes suddenly found mine, as he deeply breathe so I smiled at him and mouthed, "You can do it!" and i think he gets it as he smiled back and looked at the crowd, proud and confident.
"People have always thought that prodigies are blessing in this society; which I may say it is, but depending on them, all the hopes of the general public even more the whole country, people with the best averages aren't really that capable to do as what you all think we can. The truth is, we also are just the same as all of the students."
"We also experience brutality of each questions more complex than all combined math subject from our terror professors. Get rattled and stressed out over numerous of paper works and other related school works getting piled up. Get mental block on the very first question of the exam paper. Tested my courage and patience every group works where they all shouldered the work and have their hopes on me. Practiced the ability to cram copious of notes last minute before exams. Write a thick book like reports few hours before its due date and of course staying conscious while finishing up everything before finals with the help of starbucks coffees that we couldn't now count how much cup we have consumed." that to all relates to everyone as all laughed on the reality of college students, the overly loyal customers of cafes and coffee shops during hell weeks and finals.
Aside from that, Trevor got all the attention in him, the experience of a highly intelligent college student experiences the same struggles as ours, except the fact that they are capable to overcome all of it and still have higher grades than the avarage. But there doesn't stop the struggle of prodigies, they also have to meet the expectations of profs and students and be consistent moreover surpass your own self. And that makes me admire Trevor not because he's intelligent but because he's someone who can withstand everything and carries everyon his shoulder but still manages to smile and be as normal as possible.
""It doesn't matter if I have high honors or not, what matters the most is that I pass and I'll graduate." That have been everyone's mantra, everyone's motivation every after hell week and mind wrecking finals. That was everyone's goal, count me in of course." Trevor chuckled along with the rest of the students on the reality of everything he says.
"With or without honors, as everyone just claims it just an icing in the cake, all doesn't matter because all the sacrifices, frustrations, stress and effort to reach and stand here wearing toga and a cap, the cake itself is what matters the most. We all dedicate this success to the people that never gave up on us, supported us, even those who drag us down. Because of them we stand firm on the ground."
"To my family, friends, professors, this institution and to the dork who sees me differently. The one who made me think of myself that I am also someone who have my own story to tell, a life to live and not just a shadow of anyone." he said gazing at me, fondly and sincerely. I saw the freakos having a glance at me and smiled. My heart suddenly swells warmly, as I gaze back at him. I think I don't deserve all this goodness.
"Also everyone, thank you." They clapped their hands as I was still dumbfounded.
"So, I, Trevor Flannery Chevalier, alleged doppelganger of my twin, standing before all of you who finally made it through the end, through the first step of our success.
Congratulations to all of us."
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[5 years later]
"Amethyst! When will you ever come back?!" Chime's voice sobbing as the two other freakos asks the same question over the line.
I chuckled leaning on my seat and swirled to gaze at the view outside the wide glass windowpane of my office, wishing I could see them.
"It'll be soon I promise. I just kinda like how peaceful here." Ericka groaned in response as Addie added a violent reaction.
"When will that soon be? It'll be nice if Trevon was the one who left than you to be honest." Addie with bitterness in her tone replies as the other laughed.
After all the admiration of Addie to the quarterback and all the things he have done to me, she came to hate him now, also now that he have been still with Madsen. But honestly though I don't have hard feeling for him now. I think our last talk at least helps everything. I'm happy for them and like finally Trevon now knows how to be contented with one relationship. Besides I have nothing to do with him, I wish him happiness and luck now.
"Let him live, Addie. I'll be back within this year." they all rejoiced, as I realized it was already November. I am now obliged to book my flight back to US.
"That's good then! See you soonest! Make sure to bring us souvenirs from Norway! Love you, Tee!" And after a lot of other messages they ended the call and I am again engulf with work and stress.
I watched the clock hanging from the door frame, it's time for dinner. I already stood from my seat and grabbed my coat, left the office and find the nearest restaurant to fill my stomach.
I watched around and smiled as I pictured this view, the streets of peaceful and calming Bergen. It was few months after graduation that I decided to leave the country and move to Norway.
Mom was already sent to prison after court trials and concrete evidence of repeated physical abuse to me that the freakos have decided to be my witness. So with the help of them I've set myself free from anyone, that further made me want to move away from my tragic past and move on with a better future ahead of a new environment. I also wanted to be with myself, reflect and grow up maturely like an adult.
That results a fresh grad with a degree in Architecture moving to the Scandinavian country with just a single backpack and passport on hand wanting to change her own life. But I think God gave me a miracle. I have found a job worthy of my degree, got my own workplace with stable salary to keep me afloat. I also have now my own apartment, a pet cat as my roommate and quite a small circle of friends to hang out with.
The freakos still keeps in touch even though they all moved to New York City, all living in a condo unit. All strong independent woman except Ericka cause Evans just proposed to her a month ago. Wow, would you look at that. Addie is still hopelessly in love with Kim, I don't blame her, he's a keeper to be honest. And Chime, she moved on from Luis a long time ago now. They all keep theirselves busy with work and same as me too.
To sum up the past 5 years, it was all but work, self love, adapting to the new environment and keeping in touch with the freakos.
After eating dinner, I decided to roam around the city and enjoy the view. It was already nighttime and for the past years of gazing at the sky of Norway, between October and March, the breathtaking view of northern lights appears. And tonight it appears as picturesque and majestic that the photos from the internet doesn't do justice on the actual view of it.
The northern lights alongside the cluster of stars dusted on the vast dark sky made the night bright and the winter breeze warm. I suddenly remembered Trevor. He wasn't the one that made me see that looking in the overview makes you see two set of stars, one from above one from under. But he made me remember the awestruck night full of stars and the first shooting star I've wished upon.
It have been 5 years of convincing myself that he deserves better, I don't deserve him at least. It was all in my mind that I need to move on that he needs to find somebody else. And who am I to fool myself that in every night I see the sky I always remember him. That the set of stars I've always see but never reach was Trevon and the city lights, the star from under was Trevor all along. The star that have been always there for me but never see its worth.
It suddenly started snowing at it became too cold for me to handle. I tried to walk faster back to my office to get my things and go home. But my feet brought me somewhere, near the tall figure I came to recognize and miss. He's slowly approaching as I also walk towards him. Few steps further it all came clear to me, a flash of nostalgia and longing rushed to me. A tear fell down my eyes as I looked at him. We are now foot apart, he also glanced back at me.
He looked more mature now, glasses still there. He seemed to still not know how to comb as his dirty blonde locks drape from his black beanie. His smile still looks the same, the way he look at me stays the same. He's still the same Trevor I know and known to love.
He reached for my cheek and I've leaned to his warmth. After 5 years, you're finally here.
"Tu me manques, dork."
"I miss you too, Trevor."
I miss you so much, my under star.
THE END
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Thank you for supporting me till the end!
xx. T.L💕