Adam was reluctant to let me go, but he understood and we parted ways on good terms. My family and friends were sad that I was leaving LA for an unknown amount of time, but it wouldn't be forever. They were happy for me. And I was happy for myself too. I mean honestly, it couldn't have gotten any better. I was very, very lucky at that point in my life and made it a point to enjoy every second as much as possible because I didn't know how long it would last.
I absolutely loved traveling. I loved being on the road for work and I loved being on the road with Ed. We grew very close very fast. We both had significant others waiting for us back home, so we were close in more of a sibling way or a best friend way. We knew that's all it was and we didn't want to disrespect each other's SO's, so we never crossed the line...but sometimes we definitely got close to the line. Being out there on the road and so far away from our homes was like living in a completely different version of the world. A version where we could flirt with temptations without any real-world repercussions.
I didn't stay on his bus. I had my own bunk and all of my stuff on a different bus with some of the road crew. I was a young (and the only) girl grouped in with a bunch of old dudes who could be pretty vulgar and who smelled like ass. I never complained or asked to move buses because I was so grateful to even be there, but I tried to hang out on Ed's bus as much as I could. We usually watched movies and pigged out on terrible gas station snacks.
One night I had been hanging out on his bus while we were waiting for bus call to head to the next city. He was sitting on the couch watching some movie that I wasn't paying any attention to. I was laying stretched out with my legs over his lap while doing something on my laptop. He absentmindedly rested his hands on my legs and then began to let his hands wander underneath the loose fabric of my lounge pants. He grazed his fingernails across my skin and I got goosebumps.
He noticed and laughed, "Feel good?"
I had leaned my head back against the arm rest and closed my eyes. "You don't even have to pay me with money anymore, you can just do this every night instead," I joked.
A couple of minutes went by without either of us speaking and then suddenly his hands stopped moving and he turned away from the TV to look at me. "Didn't you say that you're originally from the San Diego area?"
I looked up at him from my laptop. "Yeah, that's where my parents still live. Why?"
He gave me a look like it was so obvious. "Uhh...that's where we're headed for the next show."
"So?"
"What do you mean 'so'? Invite them to the show!"
I crinkled my nose up and my shoulders rose into a half-assed shrug. "Maybe just Matt."
"Who's Matt?"
"My boyfriend."
"How come I didn't even know your boyfriend's name?" He looked at me a little skeptically.
"I don't know?"
He sat up more alert and now his focus was entirely on me and not at all on the movie. "No..you never talk about him. I never even see you on the phone with him or anything."
Right then I got an alert on my phone and looked down to see that it was a weather update. I opened it and my eyes got wide. "Oh my God!" I looked up to Ed excitedly. "There's supposed to be a meteor shower here! In like -" I looked back down at the time, "- like, fifteen minutes! Let's go!"
I slammed my laptop closed and went to get up, but Ed grabbed one of my legs and held it where it was. "You can't just change the subject like that!"
"Change the subject?? Are you kidding? There's about to be a meteor shower! Have you ever seen one in person?"
He rolled his eyes. "No."
"Exactly! I haven't either!" I playfully swatted his hand away from my leg and got up. I reached down to grab his hand and pull him off the couch but he wouldn't budge.
"Answer the question," he almost laughed.
I pretended to think. "I don't remember you asking me a question. I have a question, though. Why do you care?"
He dramatically acted like he was offended. We both laughed but then he said more seriously, "It's weird."
Now I rolled my eyes. "He just isn't a big talker. Okay? Plus, I'm out here for work."
He sighed and finally got up off the couch. We let our hands go and he followed me outside, shaking his head and murmuring, "It's fucking weird."
I ignored him and walked around to the back of the bus where the ladder was. I climbed up onto the roof and then looked back but didn't see Ed. I looked over the edge and saw him hesitating with one foot on the ladder and the other still on the ground. His knuckles were white from his grip on the sides.
"Are you scared of heights?"
He looked up at me, startled. "I don't like them."
"C'mon, it'll be worth it! I swear."
"And if it's not?" he challenged.
"If it's not, then...at least you were still in the presence of great company?"
"Ha," he huffed. He took a big breath and grudgingly climbed up the ladder. I took his hand when he got to the top, but he wouldn't stand up all the way. He crouched down like he was trying to get his balance.
"You know the bus isn't moving...right?"
He shot me daggers. "I know the bus isn't moving Sam." He looked around for a second and then announced, "I'm just gonna sit down."
I started to sit down too but then I thought about my camera. Obviously I had to shoot the meteor shower. If it even came. I stood back up and Ed looked at me with terror in his eyes. I had to hold back a laugh. "I forgot my camera. Are you gonna be okay up here for a minute if I run down to get it?"
"What!? You can't just leave me alone up here! I'll probably die!"
I couldn't hold the laughter in any longer. "I'll be right back! Two seconds!"
I turned and went down the stairs as fast as I could and then sprinted back around the bus to the door. I flung it open and ran inside to dig out the smaller camera I had in my purse. It would be faster than running over to my bus where my professional cameras were. I was rushing to get back outside but then stopped when I had an idea. I went back to my purse and got what was left of a joint and a lighter from this little container I had. The one good thing about staying on the roadies' bus. They always gave me pot.
I ran back outside and up to the roof again, my camera and the lighter in one hand and the joint behind my ear. "You're still alive!" I teased as I went over to where he was sitting. He gave me a sarcastic little smile.
I sat down next to him and booped his nose with my finger. "Look at you. I'm so proud of you," I said in a voice that was usually reserved for animals. He still didn't say anything. "Are you really that nervous?" I used my serious voice that time. "We can go back down if you want."
"I'll be alright. I want to watch this with you."
I smiled when he said that. "I want you to too. And I want you to actually enjoy it, so I brought you a present." I took the joint from behind my ear and held it out to him.
He breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank God, you're the best."
We smoked and he had calmed down completely by the time the meteor shower started. We couldn't really see much because of all the city lights around, but it was still pretty and peaceful as we sat side by side looking up at the sky. I only took a few pictures because I was too distracted enjoying it. I had stopped shooting for a minute and sat the camera down when we started to see bigger ones flying across the sky.
"I've got an idea," I said as I rolled over onto my hands and knees and crawled to the far corner of the bus. Ed was cracking up at me as I put the camera on a timer and angled it over to where he was sitting. Then I got back onto my feet and crouched to run back over before the timer started.
"Those were some pretty sweet army crawl moves," he kept laughing.
"Shut up and hold still," I smacked his arm.
Our eyes caught and we both kind of just froze. It fell silent as we looked at each other, studying each other's eyes. I could hear the camera start to go off. His eyes left mine and looked down to my lips. There was weird energy for a second and I almost thought that he was going to kiss me. I don't know what I would have done.
Thankfully he looked back up to me and smiled, "Stop staring at me and look up at the sky." I laughed and looked up as I looped my arm into his and rested my head on his shoulder.
After it was over, Ed sat back on the couch to finish his movie and I gathered up my things to go back to my own bus. I saw that he had his arms folded over his chest like he was cold, so I went to the back and got a blanket for him. I told him he could have the rest of my joint and I brought a cold Gatorade and a bag of chips over to him.
He looked amazed. "You might just be the most perfect person in the world. What's your ring size?" We both knew he was joking but I played along.
"I'm a size 6 and I want at least a 10 carat diamond. I won't settle for less than what I'm worth."
He shook his head, "You're something else, you know that?"
I made a what-can-I-say gesture. "I'll see you tomorrow, you loser."
He yelled after me, "Call your parents, Sam!"