I was at peace.
For once I didn't have to worry about dodging life's obstacles. There weren't any where I was. It was just me.
And Aiden.
Last nights sleep was the best I've had in years. Nightmares didn't clog my dreams. Instead, it was a peaceful state; it felt like home. For once I wasn't afraid to wake up the next morning. When I opened my eyes I knew that I wouldn't be alone.
Aiden's arm held me snug with my back pressed against his bare body. He was warm. I pressed my body further against his skin, wanting his warmth all to myself. I never wanted to lose this.
My eyes fluttered open as I flipped on my opposite side so that I was facing him. His eyes were still closed and his chest rose and fell every few seconds. He was still asleep. I took my time admiring him in this unusual state. Although I saw a completely different side of him during the night, this one had to have been my favorite. Last night he had been gentle and as loving towards me as ever. There was patience that he never showed before.
But right now in his sleeping state, he was just Aiden. No hard exterior or cold look in his eyes. He was relaxed instead of tensed like usual. For once he looked innocent.
"Are you going to stare at me all morning, Ali?" His mouth opened although his eyes remained closed.
"I thought you were still sleeping." Now aware that he was awake, I shied away as I realized my naked body was pressed against his own.
When he realized I had moved my body off of his his eyes shot down to my red face.
"You look so fucking innocent when you blush like that." Before I could pull the sheets higher up, his lips shot down onto my forehead before they reached my lips.
When he pulled away for air I pulled the sheets to my chin and peered up at his gorgeous face. His hair was wild from last night and had been claimed by the bed. And my hands.. His chest was bare- putting his perfectly toned body on show. If I didn't stop myself; I knew we would be repeating last night, so I tried to change the subject, "How did you sleep?"
"You're laying naked in my bed, and you're asking me how I slept, Ali?" I looked up before giving a faint nod.
"Like a fucking baby." He grinned ear from ear. I hoped a baby hadn't slept like that.
"How did you sleep, Alison?"
"It was nice," I pulled my hands out of the covers and let my fingers trace patterns over his chest. "It felt nice." It felt perfect.
"Although Lily and David are probably worried out of their minds." There's no doubt that they waited up for me and Hailey to come home. Honestly, I didn't even tell Hailey goodbye last night. I just wanted to be with Aiden.
I knew it was selfish to make them sick with worry and wonder, but I wanted to take this time for myself. I was tired of abiding by the rules. My whole life has been a rule book and I've followed every single one. But with Aiden I didn't have to. We made our own.
"As much as I'd love to stay in this bed all day with you; my parents will be wanting me home before they decide to call the police." David wouldn't go to that length but Lily could talk him into it. She had a problem overthinking and although she knew I was with Aiden; it wouldn't keep her from worrying about something bad happening to me.
"It's okay, we will have other mornings together." Aiden smiled down at me.
I wanted a million morning with him. A million nights.
"Where the hell were you?" Hailey was sitting up in her bed when I got home. Lily and David had already left for work by time I got home so I'd have to apologize later.
"I was okay. I went home with Aiden."
"What? Did you have-" I cut her short before she said vulgar words that would make my cheeks turn red.
"Yes."
"You did the, you know, with Aiden Parker?" I couldn't tell if she was surprised or mad.
"Yes, Hailey." It was mortifying having confess this to my sister.
She followed me to my bed, "Well, was it good?"
"TMI, Hailey."
"Not TMI, I need to know!" She plopped down next to me and crossed her legs with her elbows propped up on to her thighs. She looked like an eager child listening to a bedtime story.
"Kelsey is calling me, we will talk about this later." No we wouldn't.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Alison. We need to talk. Can you come over?
"I can't today I was with Aiden all night last night and I figured I should be home when Lily and David get back. What's up?"
There was a pause on her end.
"It's not something to say on the phone. Um, it's okay though can we talk tomorrow after school."
"Okay."
"Okay, I love you."
"I love you too."
I waited for Kelsey at our usual spot the next morning but she wasn't there. Instead, Amber stood leaned up against my locker. "What do you want Amber."
I guess she decided it was a good time to pick on me since Aiden and Kelsey weren't around to defend me. She looked up from her phone with a smirk on her face. "I have a message for you." Her eyes dropped back down to her phone.
"Actually, a video." Amber flipped her phone so that I could see the screen. At first I had no interest and I was about to turn away but then I saw Aiden's face on the screen. Eli, Jason, and Dylan were with him.
"What is this?"
"Just watch it. For once I'm actually trying to do you a favor." Her words were anything but sincere.
Before I could object she hit play and Dylan's voice sounded from the speakers. "So have you done it yet? Has she put out?" He wore a smirk as he elbowed Aiden's side:
"Shut up Dylan." Aiden didn't pay him any mind.
"Dude; don't forget about the bet. She's just a girl." Bet? Just a girl? My brows knitted as I leaned forward to get a better view of the screen.
"He's right, she's just a girl. Actually she's just Alison Kane. It shouldn't be that hard man; no one cares about that girl, so just give her a little attention and she should fall at your feet." Jason agreed with Dylan. Their words hurt but it wasn't anything I hadn't already heard.
Just coming from the people I almost considered to be my friends, especially Eli. And Aiden, my so called boyfriend.
"That's a little harsh; I mean she isn't the most popular girl and she doesn't have any friends but don't say no one cares about her." It sort of sounded like Eli tried to defend me.
"Dude, if you weren't fucking Kelsey I'd have thought you might be into Alison." Dylan turned on Eli. His accusation caused Aiden to send Eli a look.
"She's just a fucking girl. It's just a bet and I will finish it. Just drop the damn thing and shut the fuck up before you ruin my mood." Aiden glared at all of them before storming off. The guys waited a few seconds before following him, only leaving Dylan behind.
Once they were out of view he turned his face towards the camera wearing a sick smile. "Did you get it?" The camera shifted as whoever was recording step towards him.
"I got all of it." A girl's laugh mixed with Dylan's as he put his arms out.
As he pulled her in for a hug the angle shifted, showing both their faces. Amber and Dylan. "He's never going to tell her about it. At least with this we can show it to her and she will be humiliated and will want nothing to do with him. Then he will be able to go back to his normal self and not some pussy whipped boy."
The recording cut off there. The only sound around us was the passing of students and my ragged breaths as I tried to prevent a panic attack. "I don't understand. What was the bet."
Amber watched as tears fell from my cheeks. "Honey, Aiden was supposed to fuck you and then leave you. Don't take it personal though he does it often. In fact I'm the only girl he keeps coming back too." Her words sent a knife through my heart. Starting at the top, ripping its way to the bottom.
It felt like a rock had crushed my chest. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't process what was happening. And her words made me boil. She threw dirt in my face with a proud smirk. Trying to justify it as, "helping" me.
In that moment I wanted to kill her.
I was absolutely broken.
She had won.
"Don't cry; it's not worth it to cry over someone who never loved you anyways."
For the first time, I had been done with her shit. She had pushed me around for three years and I was tired. Before I told myself to stay quiet, but I didn't care anymore. Amber was a bitch and she deserved to hurt as much as I did.
Skin pressed against skin as my forearm and upper arm connected. My fingers curled into a fist and with every once of hate I had towards Amber, I sent my fist flying into her nose.
An action that surprised everyone, myself the most. Shocked and in pain, Amber fell against the metal of the lockers, clutching her bleeding nose.
"Alison?" Kelsey pushed her way through the watching crowd with Eli and Aiden following behind her. When she looked from me to Amber her face was full of realization and guilt, like she had known why I punched Amber.
She had known. My own best friend.
"Alison," she tried to reach for me but I jerked my hand away. My knuckles were busted and red from hitting Amber straight on the nose.
"Don't fucking touch me." I looked at her with complete disgust. At all of them. "You knew."
"I tried to tell you. I swear I was." Tears flooded her eyes as she pleaded with me.
"Ali, it's not what you think. I didn't want you to find out this way." Aiden took two steps forward and I took three steps back.
"Find out what?" My chin and lip quivered so hard it was hard to get my words out. "Find out that you used me? That I was just another girl for you to fuck? Find out that I am as worthless as everyone says I am."
"I cannot believe you Aiden. I. I can't even process this. I told you that I loved you. I thought you loved me," My words shifted from yells to a quite voice. I was so angry and hurt that even yelling was pointless. "But you don't. Apparently no one does and I can't figure out why. I don't understand why everyone wants to make me feel like shit."
"I mean even you Kelsey, you were supposed to be my best friend."
"I do love you Ali."
"No, you do not get to call me that anymore."
"None of you deserve anything," I mustered the nastiest look I could, "I was an idiot to say I loved you, because I fucking hate you, Aiden."
No matter how nasty my face was or how harsh my words came out. They weren't real. I didn't hate Aiden. I couldn't hate him.
And because of that, I hated myself.
More than ever. I just wanted everything to end.
There was silence as no one dared to say anything else to provoke me.
"I am done. I'm tired." Not wanting to fight anymore, I turned on my heels heading away from everything.
"What do you mean you're done? Where are you going," Aiden stepped after me but I broke out into a sprint and headed for my truck; locking myself inside before he was able to catch me. Outside the sky poured harsh rain, drenching Aiden and me as he ran after me.
It was coming down so hard that I almost couldn't see the lines on the road as I sped away from the school. There was so much water that I couldn't even make out if I was in my lane or not. Honestly, I didn't care if I was or not. I just kept driving until I was almost to where I wanted to be.
Hard sobs fell from my body as everything just kept replaying over and over inside my head. A sign that read "Johnson's Cliff" was almost covered by a fallen tree. It was just up the road.
I was used. He didn't love me. No one did and they both proved it. I didn't know which one hurt more my best friend or the guy I had fallen hopelessly in love with. Everything broke me. So much that I was shattered and left with no desire to put myself back together.
Memories of my parents clouded my vision as they mixed with my tears. Home. I just wanted to go home. The thought of yesterday morning made my heart ache unbearable. Waking up feeling like I was at home; with him, mad me want to puke.
And the fact that even after he broke me beyond repair and I still loved him made me resent myself.
My eyes burned from my tears and the mascara that had invaded them. Unable to see the road, Reached to my glovebox trying to find something to wipe them with. My eyes were off the road for five seconds. And when I looked up there was a tree branch covering the road. Maybe if I hit my breaks I could have stopped in time. Or if I hit the branch, the impact wouldn't have killed me.
Instead I hesitated and jerked the wheel to the right swerving off of the road. The impact leaving me completely unconscious
I was at peace.
••••••