"Yeah." Dinah replied hesitantly. There was not a dry eye in the group of girls.
"Are you fucking serious D? You knew? Why didn't you do anything." Lauren yelled at Dinah through clenched teeth.
"I figured it out yes. But I was helping her." Dinah tried to convince herself.
Lauren couldn't hold in her emotions any more. She walked up to the younger girl and shoved her backwards into the wall. Even though the younger girl was taller, Lauren was really hot-headed and had no problem holding Dinah against her will.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Lauren tried to yell while tears were streaming down her face.
"Lauren she begged me not to. No one else needed to know, I was there helping her. You needed to connect the dots Lauren," Dinah responded. "She told me she just wanted to loose a few pounds and that it would stop."
Lauren released her tight grip on Dinah and fell to the floor. The Polynesian helped Lauren to her feet and over to a chair.
"So when she tensed up around food, she couldn't fit into double zeros, and she always too tired and too full and too sick to eat. This is because of her anorexia?" Lauren questioned while putting everything together.
"She's so little Dinah. She's literally a toothpick and the fans were warning us. How didn't we know?" Lauren was trying comprehend everything. She was the most observant. Why didn't she figure it out?
"Camila Cabello's family?" A doctor called.
The 4 girls walked over to the guy in scrubs. He led them out front of Camila's hospital room.
"Camila passed out from malnourishment. She should be just fine. However we are concerned about this weight change. The last time we weighed her at the hospital she weighed 98 pounds, however her weight has dropped dramatically to 79 pounds.," Lauren put her hand over her mouth and tried to keep herself from sobbing. "That is a significant weight loss for her being here when she got her cast removed around a week ago, but we can discuss this later. You may enter the room." The doctor explained.
Camila chuckled as the other girls walked into the room. "98 pounds? That's bullshit. I had weights in my pockets and under my sweats. The ones you wrap around your leg and work out with." Camila mumbled to herself.
Lauren froze at the door. Everything seemed to become a reality for her. The small girl made the small hospital bed look big. She had tubes and wires coming from her everywhere. She looked so fragile.
"Hey," Camila called out in a soft, raspy voice while grabbing Lauren's hand. "I'm sorry."
"No Camila we've been over this. You can't apologize for things you can't control." Lauren soothed while playing with Camila's hair.
The small girl tried to sit up but pouted when she was pulled back by her IV. She rolled her eyes and pulled it out of her vein she tied it off to stop the supply of nutrients going into her bloodstream and then stuck the needle back in her vein.
"Camila. You can't do that." Lauren argued while grabbing the smaller girl's wrist. Camila yanked her hand away.
"I can do whatever I want." Camila snapped at Lauren. The small girl turned away from the older girl. Her whole life felt like it had been turned upside down. It was easy to get away with her anorexia with Dinah, she knew Lauren would be up her ass about it.
"I know you have questions. Just ask them." Camila stated.
"Why would you starve yourself?" Lauren questioned with saddened written all over her face.
"I wanted to loose a few pounds. My dad is an alcoholic and doesn't care about me. My mom moved to Mexico and took Sofia with her. No one was there for me and I needed control." Camila opened up.
"But camz. 30 isn't a few pounds. You were already tiny at 110 pounds when we first met." Lauren tried.
"I was perfectly fine with my weight when we first met. It was only last week I started to become self conscious. I don't even know why everyone is concerned. I don't have an eating disorder. I just lost a few pounds it isn't a big deal!" Camila snapped. She had to come up with some sort of lie to distract Lauren from reality.
"You do have anorexia Camila." Normani chimed in.
"It's whatever. Ending up in the hospital was a real wake up call for me. I'm going to loose weight in a healthy way," Camila lied.
Ally gave her a stern look from across the room. "You don't need to loose any more weight camila!"
"If I need to I will work out and eat right. Not starve myself." She continued to lied.
If I had it my way I would loose more weight then I already have.
"Promise me. Promise us that you don't have an eating disorder and that it was just a couple days of going down the wrong path." Dinah pleaded.
Camila nodded her head and smiled.
"I promise." Camila lied. Again.
Camila couldn't stand lying to the other girls. She couldn't stand lying to anyone. But she has been doing a lot of that in the past week.
"Can I just talk to Lauren? Go get something to eat." Camila ironically told the 3 girls.
"I have a question." Camila said timidly.
Lauren frowned and she realized what Camila was about to ask.
"And I don't want you to freak out on me. Just answer me honestly please." The smaller girl pleaded in a weak voice.
Lauren nodded her head, already knowing her answer.
"Am I fat?" Camila but her lip and sniffled, she was on the brink of tears.
"Honestly camila," Camila's heart dropped, she knew she was fat, she just didn't want to hear some one tell her she was. "Absolutely not. You are the most skinny person I have ever seen. I really wish you could see that." Lauren started.
The green eyed girl walked over to Camila and rested her hand on the smaller girl's sunken in stomach. Camila flinched at first but then relaxed.
"You look like a walking skeleton. You have this huge thigh gap, that I almost envy, but you look sick. You do not have one ounce of fat on your body at all." Lauren tried.
"I just can't help but feel like everyone is lying to me when they say I'm skinny. I feel disgusting! I hate myself!" Camila yelled.
"Do not say that camz. I am bigger then you. Do you realize that? I weigh almost 50 pounds more then you do. But you don't think I'm fat. I just don't understand how you can think your fat." Lauren exclaimed.
Lauren felt bad for raising her voice and sighed. She laid down next to the small figure in the uncomfortable hospital bed. Lauren rubbed her girlfriends back. She felt chills as her hand ran over Camila's prominent spine, going over every vertebrae. She could feel every single rib. Her shoulder blades looked like they were about to tear her skin.
Lauren cupped her hand over her mouth and cried, finally realizing the severity of the situation.
Camila could hear the older girl crying but she knew it was her fault. It broke her heart to know that she hurt people when all she wanted to do was be skinny. Everyone around her was collateral damage.
"Stop crying." Camila pleaded.
"You're not even faced towards me." Lauren sniffled and wiped her eyes.
"I know when you're upset Lo. I feel really shitty right now. It's my own fault that you and all the girls are upset. And I fucking hate myself for it." Camila crossed her arms and pulled herself into a ball on the bed.
"Don't say that Camila. You need to learn to love yourself. I being serious too. You always preach to the fans to be kind to themselves. How can they take you seriously when you're pressing razors to your skin and skipping meals?" Lauren put her arm over the small girl's waist and pulled her close so her back was against Lauren's stomach.
"I'm so god damn scared of losing you." Lauren nuzzled her face into Camila's neck and placed a soft kiss.
She ran her long nails softly up and down Camila's arm and held her close. She could tell by the slowing of her breathing that she fell asleep.
Lauren pulled out her phone and checked the time. It was 6 P.M. She opened the twitter app and immediately saw fans going crazy and posting videos of Camila passing out on stage.
In the video, you could see minutes before the smaller girl fainted that something was wrong. She started singing late and was holding onto the rail for dear life. She called out Dinah's name and passed out before the younger girl could even make her way across stage.
-
"We need to wake her up now. She's in the eating disorder ward which means she will have scheduled meal times, 6:15 is dinner. However she will be released tomorrow if everything is okay." The nurse explained.
"She doesn't have an eating disorder, it's just been a stressful week." Lauren told the nurse.
"Suit yourself." The lady in blue scrubs responded.
Lauren frowned at the thought of waking her girlfriend up. She looked so peaceful while she was sleeping.
"Camila wake up babe. You have to eat dinner." Lauren shook the girl slightly.
"M'not hungry." Lauren's breath hitched in her throat. This is the excuse Camila had been using. She never caught on. But now it was so easy to point out.
"Camila. I am serious." Lauren replied in a slightly harsh tone.
"Hi serious I'm Camila." The small girl chuckled, she was obviously proud of herself for frustrating the older girl.
A nurse came in the room minutes later with a tray of salad and a side of strawberries.
Camila took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
You can just throw it up later.
Camila sat with the tray of food for 15 minutes just skating the salad around. When she did take bites she chewed them for longer then she should, in an attempt to convince herself and Lauren she was eating more then she actually was.
"I am full." Camila stated while pushing the tray away.
"You barely touched it." The nurse in the room observed.
Camila smirked and sneakily pushed the plate further until it fell off the table they had brought her to.
"Oops oh my god I'm so sorry I'll clean it up." The small girl continued her act.
She planted her feet on the ground the stood up, a rush of dizziness hit her resulting her sitting right back in her previous position.
"You rest. I'll get it." Lauren offered while crouching down to the floor and picking the food off the floor.
"I'm sorry." Lauren apologized to the nurse before tossing the dirty food in the trash and handing back the tray.
Lauren helped Camila over to her bed. Camila but her lip. Lauren must be so disappointed in her, or at least that's what she thought. Why would Lauren want someone like her. Someone who couldn't even eat. Someone who would get teary eyed every time just the thought of eating popped in her head. Lauren could have any girl she wanted to.
The 3 other girls walked back into the room and sat on the couch that was across from Camila's bed.
"Did you eat?" Ally immediately questioned.
"Did you even drink anything?" Normani added.
"We just want
What's best for you mila." Ally continued.
Camila bawled up her fists. The small girl absolutely hated being interrogated. She felt like she was suffocating in conversation. She tried to keep her cool but her frustration out ruled her sanity at the moment.
"Shut the fuck up! I don't want to be treated like I'm a freak show! You don't need to know every single little detail about my life! My body and what I do and don't put in it, is none of your guys business!" Camila's voice echoed through the room. For someone as small as she was, she sure had a lot of power in her voice.
Lauren looked up from her spot on the stiff chair and cocked an eyebrow, surprised by Camila's sudden outburst.
Lauren walked over to the small girl and placed her hand on Camila's back. The younger girl flinched and Lauren reluctantly drew her hand back.
"Sorry." She apologized for scaring the younger girl.
"Just go home. They want to keep me here don't they?" Camila was still facing the opposite direction of the girl with the green eyes.
"If it happens again yes, but it was just a bad week." Lauren was still naive.
Camila scoffed and pulled herself into a ball. She didn't want to admit it, but she was freezing.
"Get out! I don't need you here! I don't need anyone!" Camila snapped.
She turned around once she heard footsteps exit the room and the door slam shut. The noise made her ears ring. She threw her feet over the side of the bed, using the wall to steady herself. She pulled herself off the bed and closed her eyes in hopes the room would stop spinning.
She felt her way around the room until her hand landed on the soft blanket that was casted over the couch. She pulled it off and wrapped it around her. She laid back down in hopes the blanket would warm her up, but it was unsuccessful.
She pushed the call button for the nurse and a male doctor who seemed to be on his early or mid twenties entered the room.
"What do you need ms. Cabello?" He asked in a kind tone.
"It's really cold." Camila let out. The doctor returned to the room with a couple more blankets and laid them on top of her.
"I just wanted to say, I've been talking to Lexie. She's told me about your eating disorder. Your friends may be naive but I am not. Listen," the doctor sat on the side of her bed. "My little sister got mixed up with anorexia. She was only 14. It didn't end well. She passed away a few months ago. Anorexia took my little sisters life, I would hate to see it take yours too."
Camila wiped her eyes. She didn't want to end up dead, she just wanted to be skinny.
Camila frowned when she noticed the scent of Lauren's perfume had worn off the sheets off the hospital bed. Hearing the story reminded her of Lauren. The green eyed girl was so adamant on how scaring she was of losing Camila.
"I am really sorry about your sister. Ana is a very mean person. She kills." Camila replied in a weak voice.
"I hope you really do realize how dangerous this disease is." The doctor stated before leaving the hospital room.
She didn't like the feeling of being alone in the big hospital room. But she also knew she just messed up her relationship with the best 4 things that have ever happened to her.
She has never known friends or family until she met those 4 girls. Guilt started to take I've Camila's mind for pushing the girls away.
"Hey Bub." Dinah's voice startled her, not noticing Dinah's entrance.
"I want to go home." Camila felt tears spring to her eyes. "I want to go home to my baby sister like I used to. I want to come home to my mother baking or watching news. I want to go home and have the house not reek of vodka and whiskey. I want things to go back to normal. Dinah I hate hospitals." Camila put her head in her hands.
Dinah frowned at the smaller girl's outburst. She wished Camila could have everything she wanted and more.
"I know you do C. I know you miss normalcy. I wish you could see your mom and sister again. I wish your dad wasn't an abusive fuck. I hate hospitals too. Why don't we get out of here? The other girls went back to the house in LA." Dinah ranted.
Camila looked up from her spot on the bed. It was the first time Dinah had seen hope in the small girl's eyes in a long time.
"You can get me out of here? Right now?" Dinah nodded. "How?"
"I have my ways." Dinah smirked before exiting the room leaving Camila alone again.
"I told the doctors we would stop and pick up food on the way home. And we are so don't try to get out of it." Dinah explained while pushing all of Camila's things back into her bag.
Camila stood up and tugged the IV off her arm and stumbled forward a few steps.
"Woah take it easy C. I got you." Dinah put an arm around the smaller girl's waist for support.
Dinah threw Camila's bag in the back of the white Range Rover. She helped Camila into the passenger side of the car before slipping in the drivers seat as well.
"Subway sound good?" Dinah questioned while turning to Camila. The small girl tensed up but nodded her head timidly.
Dinah pouted at the nervousness that was written across Camila's face. Was this really just a bad week? Or did Camila lie. Camila did admit nights before that she had anorexia, but now she was changing her story completely.
"What do you want?" Dinah questioned while pulling into the parking lot.
"I don't care." Camila shrugged and pulled her knees up on the seat, resting her head ontop of her knees.
"I'll be right back." Dinah got out of the car and Camila sighed as Dinah went into the subway.
How long was this going to carry on? She knew how easy it was to get away with skipping meals around the group. The possibility of recovery flickered threw her mind, but she pushed it away. She thought she would be just fine carrying on the way she has been.
Dinah came back in the car 5 minutes later with a sub and handed it to Camila.
It was passed midnight at this point. Camila was tired and just wanted to sleep. The vibrations of the car however, kept her awake and made her feel lightheaded.
-
"As soon as you eat at least half of that sub, you can go to sleep." Dinah countered.
Camila rolled her eyes and snatched the sub from Dinah's grasp.
"If it sprinkles your donut." Camila snapped while sitting on top of the island in her kitchen.
Dinah looked at her phone to give the girl some privacy. But she still kept an eye on her. She had that same look on her face when she ate as she has had the past week. She looked almost scared.
"Can I be finished?" Camila questioned 30 minutes later. The Latina was bouncing her knee up and down and drumming her fingers on the counter in hopes it would speed up her metabolism and burn some of the calories.
Dinah observed the sandwich and sighed when there was only 3 bites taken out of it.
"Camila that's not half bud." Dinah responded.
The Latina looked at the sandwich and felt tears spring to her eyes.
Dinah took notice to the small girl's tears and caved in.
"Fine. But don't move. I'm not letting you go upstairs without me. I know you're just going to purge." Dinah let in.
The tall girl wrapped the sub and placed it in the fridge for another time and then tried to help Camila off the counter.
"I'm completely capable of getting off a damn counter Dinah." Camila argued as she jumped down. Camila grabbed onto Dinah's shirt as she felt her self fall backwards.
"Right." Dinah retorted.
Camila bit her lip and gained stability before walking up the steps. She felt weak. She could barely make it up the 7 stairs on her own.
Dinah led her to the familiar room and tucked Camila in.
"Good night. I love you bug." Dinah flipped the lights off. Camila felt like the room was going to swallow her whole. It was so empty when she was alone.
"No stay. I don't want to be alone." Camila was glad the lights were off because she was blushing in embarrassment. She felt like a child. She was always being watched over like she was a toddler all over again.
Camila felt the bed dip beside her and lifted the covers for Dinah to slide under.
The tall girl laid her arm across Camila's stomach and fell asleep easily.
Camila felt her eyelids close. She didn't even want to sleep. But she just felt limp. She didn't fight her eyelids closing the second time and fell into a restless sleep.
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Hi beautiful! I wanted to make this chapter longer then I usually do. This chapter is like 500-1000 word longer then I usually write. But anyways it's 5 in the morning and I'm tired as hell. And btw I do not proofread any of my chapters. So if they're shitty now you know why.