"Hans is going to look a little different when we bring him in here. All I ask is that you guys don't react too harshly, he's very...err sensitive right now." I explained to Laurel, Reese, and Pj who were oblivious to what I had done to Hans.
"What's going on?" Laurel began to ask when Nate and Ezra got out of the car, lugging an unconscious Hans. For safe measures, I placed my pink sunglasses on him to make him look like he was still awake. Laurel could be really scary sometimes, and I didn't want to fall under her wrath.
"Hey guys!" Ezra chuckled, but it sounded strained as he tried to hold up Hans. Nate smiled and gave everyone a friendly nod.
I don't think they suspect a thing-
"Did you knock him out!" Laurel cried out, shoving me out of the way to get to Hans.
Maybe not.
Laurel threw off the sunglasses, they flew off and smacked Reese in the eye. He cried out in pain, but no one really paid attention. "Hans, can you hear me? It's me Laurel." she said softly in a rare affectionate voice. She placed her hands on both sides of his face and massaged small circles with her thumb.
"Is he going to be okay?" Pj asked from behind me.
She spoke softly as if cautious not to overstep her boundaries with Laurel. However, Laurel ignored her and talked to Hans softly, coaxing him to wake up. Finally after another minute or two, we heard an inaudible grumbling come from him. Then his eyes opened slowly, and unsurely.
"Hey." Hans smiled when his eyes focused on Laurel. The corner of her lips lifted in a rare, beaming smile. "Why do you look so worried?" he asked.
"I'm not worried, not anymore." she chuckled, giving his lips a soft peck. Nate and Ezra helped Hans on his feet again. "Are you okay? Does anything hurt?" she asked searching his face for any visible scrapes.
Hans chuckled and shrugged, "My head hurts, but it's not that bad. What happened?" he asked curiously, finally taking the time to assess his surroundings . He took note of all us at the creek, then his eyes landed on Pj. He quickly looked away from her and stared at me with a flat glare, "Never mind, I think I know exactly what happened."
I faked a sob and wrapped my arms around Hans, "Oh thank god you're okay! Ezra was a wild animal when he attacked you! I tried to help, really I did, but I didn't want to be his next victim!" I cried out, placing all the blame on Ezra.
"Hey!" Ezra snapped, offended for being outed. I shot him a glare to shut him up. But it wouldn't have worked either way, Hans squirmed out of my hug and glared at me.
"This isn't a game! This has to stop Matey!" Hans shouted, I shrunk back in shock. I've never been yelled at by Hans. He usually just goes along with it all. I may have crossed many lines this time. "You have to stop trying to manipulate people into doing your bidding because you don't like how a certain thing is!"
"But I was just trying to help Hans." I frowned, crossing my arms protectively. "I probably went too far, but it was for a good reason." I tried to explain but Hans wasn't trying to hear it.
"Everything you do is ridiculous. Is this about Pj?" he didn't give me a chance to answer, "I'll tell you right now, that this was none of your business. If I wanted to talk to Pj, I would have reached out myself."
"I was just-"
"Trying to fuck up again?" Hans cut me off bitterly. Nate stepped beside me and used himself as a shield from Hans.
"Dude, lay off." Nate warned.
"No!" Hans snapped, "She needs to hear this, because I doubt the rest of you will set her straight." he turned to me and stared at me like I was a stranger beneath him. "You think you're helping, but really you make things worse. So stop scheming to get what you want and for once stay out of my business."
"Hansy, I was just trying to help." I repeated softly, keeping my tears at bay. "I just wanted to fix what I done to you and Pj."
"I don't need you to fix anything! Leave me alone, i'm done with your shit!" he growled, before he stormed off. I made a move to follow him, but Laurel turned to me.
"Maybe you should let me go. I'll cool him down." She muttered, frowning at me sympathetically. I nodded silently, and watched as she chased after Hans.
I looked over to Pj who looked heartbroken. I turned away from her, riddled with guilt. Hans was right, I had to stop trying to change things. I had to stop butting into people's lives. Who was I to take matters into my own hands? Out of all my schemes, I've probably screwed Hans over the most. If I hadn't came along, he and Pj would still be friends. They would still have each other to look after. But I had ruined that.
He was right, I had realized. My plans are always ridiculous, and they cause more harm than good.
"I'm going to drive Pj to her house." Reese said, breaking the silence. Pj swiped a stray tear and nodded, following Reese.
"Hey Pj." I said softly. She turned to me, her brown eyes hollowed and empty. I closed my eyes and rode the guilt I had felt. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault."
"No." she shook her head, "It was me, not you who he wanted to hurt.....Thanks for trying though. Um, I'll see you around." she forced a small smile and trailed slowly behind Reese.
"Hey kid, it's going to be okay." Ezra smiled in an attempt to lift my spirits. When he saw that it wasn't going to work he ruffled my hair like he always did. I think it was a means to get a reaction from me, but I didn't have it in me to fight him back.
"I'm sorry Ezra. I'm sorry I drag you guys into all my stupid plans." I frowned.
"I'm not sorry and quite frankly I don't think anyone else is. You give our life purpose kid." he winked. I smiled halfheartedly, but I knew I had became an inconvenience to all my friends. Ezra followed after Reese and Pj and got a lift from them.
I looked around and found that Nate and I were the only ones left. I was pretty sure Laurel and Hans left. I doubt he would come back after what he just said. I didn't blame him. I didn't blame anyone, but myself.
Nate wrapped his arm around me and tugged me into a hug. I didn't fight it, and let him envelope me in his arms. I buried my face into his hoodie and let silent tears trail down my eyes. "He didn't mean any of that doll face." He murmured, pressing his lips against my hair. I shook my head, refusing to believe him.
"I just..." I trailed off, pausing to let a small sob wrack my body.
"I know." He sighed, rubbing the small of my back. "You just wanted to help. He understands that and he's not mad at you for that. I think seeing Pj just really set him off, like a trigger. I swear in a couple days he'll come around." he assured me.
I pushed away from him, I was sure my face was puffy from all the crying, "A couple days! He's gotta hate me more than that. He won't talk to me ever again Nate. I really screwed up bad this time!"
"Don't be so hard on yourself Matey." He sighed, "You are a handful, and crazy, sometimes psychotic. But that's what everyone loves about you, you use your madness to help people." he smiled his dimpled smile, and usually it would make the world just a little bit better. But it wasn't helping me, because I knew I was wrong today.
"Name one time I've helped anyone." I raised my eyebrow, defensively. Nate reached for my hand and held it.
"I can name about three." He smirked, "The first time was when you wanted to prove to Pj that she liked Hans."
"Nate, that ended horribly!" I retorted.
"You said name three times you've used your madness to help. I'm not saying they were all successful, now can I finish?" He raised his eyebrow, expectantly.
"Fine." I grumbled.
"Even though that ended horribly, your heart was in the right place. You wanted Pj and Hans to see that they liked it each other. And you did that, it just didn't pan out for them because things had changed between them." He explained.
"Okay, but if I hadn't gotten involved they still would have been friends."
"Was that such a bad thing?" Nate laced our fingers together, and rubbed small circles in the back of my hand, "Without you, Laurel would have never met Hans. Do you remember how he looked at her at the rooftop party? That guy was seeing stars that night and it was all because of you."
"I did introduce them, didn't I?" I smiled, feeling a little better at that.
"Yeah you did." He nodded, "If it wasn't for you, Laurel would still be that loner that everyone was scared of. You brought her out and showed her that friends are worth having."
"I love that raging bitch." I chuckled lightly.
"If it wasn't for you, Hans wouldn't have the girl. I doubt the guy had it in him to actually go out and profess his feelings for Laurel, but you helped him. In your own Matey-eque way." he laughed, but he soon sobered up and looked at me with a sincere expression. "You helped me too Matey."
"What did I do to you?" I asked curiously. As far as I knew, my scheme for Nate had majorly backfired. If anything, that was my greatest failure.
Nate brought my hand up to his lips and kissed them once. His lips were soft and plush, as I had imagined them to be. Not that I thought of his lips often....because that was weird. I-I don't daydream about him.
shut up.
okay.
"You pushed me to realize things I'd never come to terms with, if it wasn't for you." He said vaguely. "Matey, I couldn't imagine a world without a girl like you. You helped me in ways you couldn't possibly begin to understand."
"Nate, I appreciate you trying to make me feel better. But I think I need to ride out this rollercoaster of shame. I know i'm really fucked up and I take things too far." I said after a beat of silence. "C-can you take me home now? I just really want to sleep now." I mumbled.
Nate's face fell and he nodded silently. He reached over, moving a strand of hair from my face, letting his hand linger there for a moment. "I wish you could see how much you changed me for the better, you psycho." He smiled sadly.
"Flattery gets you nowhere." I half joked. Nate let out a small laugh and held my hand as we bounded for his car. Although everything felt wrong, I knew one thing that was still on its way to better endings, was Nate.
I was grateful for that, at least.
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Short Chapter for the week. Sorry I couldn't make it better, I was having a tough time writing this. But I wanted to post something this week and it kinda helps set up a storyline for next week.
I don't want to waste any of your time already because I know you must carry on, and read other A-mazing books. But I do have something I have to get off my chest. It's been bothering me all week and I have to say it. I'm sorry if I come off sounding like a whiny bitch, or whatever. But I have to say this.
If you don't like Matey's name, I'm totally fine with that. I've read books where I hated a character's name and it bothered me. But guess what? I didn't go in the comment section and constantly bitch out the character, and be extremely rude. I just changed the name in my head and kept going on with the story. Why? Because the book isn't there to accommodate your every need. It's written for fun, for the pure enjoyment of imagination.
I'm tired of reading comments where people are like 'Matey? That's a stupid ass name! Fuck this book!' Like honestly, I get it the name isn't normal. I like the name because it symbolizes my own awkwardness. I actually called a girl who's name was Maddie, Matey and I think back on that fondly.
And really, if a name is going to put you off on a book, how about writing one of your own? I'd love to read a haters book, because I want to see what they can create. I'm not cocky--I'm far from confident in my books. I have a reading list where I name my books trash, because that's what I think of sometimes. But come on, I had the courage to write a book and I've always been nice to my readers, even the one's who seem unpleasant. I try to hold my tongue because critics want to rip my story apart.
For the most part, I'm open to criticism. I'm grateful when you point out a spelling or grammatical error. It helps me make note of all the chapters that need to be edited. But don't come after my character's or their names. These are my babies and I will fight for them! (#ProtectMatey #ProtectNate #ProtectEzra #ProtectCAS)
If you don't love a name-don't comment. If you don't like my story-don't comment and just leave. Hell, I encourage those who don't like my book to write a review and tag me in it so I could see what I should change in my writing style in my next book. But don't comment on a story for the sake of being an asshole.
I am kind--at least I hope I come off that way--when I talk to you guys. I'm kind when I read others work, regardless of writing style. Why? Because I know someone sat in front of a computer/phone and worked hard to write a story. I know they put their work and effort, and hoped someone would notice. I know writers always write, with a fear of rejection in the back of their heads.
All I'm trying to say is, be considerate. We don't get paid at all for writing books but we don't care because we love it so much. I love reading the comments and seeing the votes. It's an amazing feeling. But it annoys us when we see a reader go out of their way to bitch and gripe because the story isn't to their liking.
I'm sorry if you don't like it. But i'm not changing anything for someone who probably doesn't even know how to construct a proper sentence.
Sorry for the rant guys-just had to get that off my chest. Regardless of everything, I love my true supporters and that is you guys. The ones who read every update and always make time to comment that they liked the chapter. I promise I'll never rant like this again...maybe.
-R H E A
song of the chapter The Reason by Hoobastank (an oldie but a goldie✌)