Words: 1369
Pairing: Fallen!Bucky Barnes x (f)Reader
Featuring: Steve Rogers, Howard Stark, Peggy Carter
Warnings: mention of war, death, sadness, crying, ANGST!
Requested by anon
Summary: Based on My Immortal by Evanescence, after losing your boyfriend and best friend, you think about them at their funeral, and meet an interesting person.
Author's Note: This takes place in the 1940s, and while the beginning part is mostly background, I find it fucking cool. I love the idea of Howard Stark being a friend to fall on too.
I wish that you would just leave, Cause your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there's just too much that time cannot erase
*Edited*
---
With this war, everyone was aware there would be fatalities. Friends and loved ones would be lost, but you had faith in your boys; you never had any idea they would be two of the ones to go. They were the ones that knew what they were doing. Now, a few months ago, you could have seen Steve struggling, but especially recently, you couldn't think of one way he would go out. And in just a few weeks, you lost your best friend and boyfriend.
You expected people from the military to be at the funerals, even Peggy Carter. You had met her a few times after the shows Steve did, but she was so busy it was hard to talk to her for more than a few minutes. She did, however, know about your relationships with the boys and went over to you to say a few words.
The one person you did not expect at the funerals was Howard Stark. You knew Steve and Bucky adored his work, but why was he at the funeral for them? You were staring, you went to every presentation done by him with your boys, and he turned his head to see you. He smiled, and before you knew it, he walked over to you. "Hey there, dollface," He stuck out his hand, "Howard Stark."
You shook his hand as you told him your name, astonished that you were talking to the Howard Stark.
"You were one of the dancers in the Captain's shows, yes?" Howard asked, and you nodded, "You looked good up there," He winked.
You sighed and looked down. "Thanks, Steve was my best friend," You told him.
Howard ducked his head, and his smirk faded. "Oh, I'm so sorry," He apologized, and you noticed his flirtatious tone disappeared. "You know, I helped turn him into the super-soldier that saved a lot of lives. He was a good man," Howard told you, then looked back up. "Did you know his friend, too?"
You had tears rimming your eyes, afraid that if you kept talking about this, you would burst into tears. "He was my boyfriend," You told Howard.
Howard was now mentally swearing at himself. He felt horrible for asking. He may be one to be all over girls, but he did have a soft spot and understood when to stop flirting, and now was the time to let you have your space. "I'm so sorry for your loss, but if you need anything, you can come visit me. I'll be happy to help out with whatever you need; your friends did a lot for this country. I can at least try to repay by being there for you," Howard gave a soft smile and pulled a card out. "Here's my address if you need it, just tell them who you are," Howard told you, grabbed your hand, and placed a small kiss on the center before turning to walk away.
"Thank you," You told him, looked down at the card and back up to observe the people standing around their graves. You soon realized you had no idea who half the people were, but you weren't going to find out. Today was already too emotional for you.
---
You were happy when everyone left the cemetery, leaving you alone. People who knew Bucky obviously knew about you and continued trying to talk to you. It only made you more upset, and you could barely wait to be left alone. And now that you finally are, you had a chance to talk to your boys.
Your cheeks were tear-stained, and you could barely speak from how much you were hurting. "I miss you guys like hell," You whispered, knowing that if you spoke any louder, it would come out in fragments and would be barely understandable. "And they didn't even have bodies to bury," You cried out, a few tears falling down your face.
You walked over to Steve's grave first. Throughout the war, you spent most of your time with Steve. Bucky was out on the field, and you were with Steve, trying to get people to join the military and help. Steve was your best friend, and you made some fantastic memories from the time you spent with him. "I wish that you would just leave," You started, tears threatening to become present again, "'Cause your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone," You sighed.
"I'm reminded of so many memories from you, Steve, and I can't bear it anymore. It hurts too much," You told the grave, hoping that Steve would hear you.
Dancing gigs were hard to obtain during the war. You worked as much as you could to make sure you would make it through the war, and when Bucky got back, you two would be able to live happily together. After a very long time of advertising your dancing, you finally got recruited. You got recruited to dance for the military, trying to get people to join. You couldn't argue because a job's a job.
You arrived at the rehearsal center right on time. You had no idea who you were dancing with or who was the "Captain America" character, but hopefully, it would help end this war quicker.
As soon as you got there, you were handed your costume and realized how many other girls were there. Everyone was gossiping about how attractive the man was, but you had still yet to see him. But of course, you saw him when everyone was ready to dance and start this whole project. "Oh my!" You heard your name being shouted, and you turned around to see a large man running towards you.
You squinted your eyes to figure out who it was. "Steve?" You gasped, realizing you knew his face and voice. "Is that you?"
"Yeah, look at me!" He smiled, hugging you.
"You're a lot taller," You commented, hugging back.
You smiled at the memory. It was one of your favorites, as it was the first time you saw Steve after the serum. It would always remain one of your favorite memories of him and something you would hold dear to you forever.
You slowly walked over to Bucky's grave, your heart breaking more. You didn't even think it could hurt anymore, but it did. "Bucky, these wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real, there's just too much that time cannot erase," You spoke out. "I remember the first time we met, you watched me dance in a show, and we ran into each other outside, and you complimented how beautiful everything was," You remembered.
"Come on, doll, only a few more boxes!" Bucky yelled from outside of your new home. After being together for a while, it was finally decided that you two should move in together, and both of you were more than excited.
"I'm unpacking!" You called out, "Just bring up the others!"
Bucky jokingly groaned. "I could have used the help."
"But you're my strong, handsome soldier!" You smirked, happy that you were finally living with the one you love.
Bucky's arms wrapped around your waist, and he kissed your cheek. "I'm going to marry you one day, love," He assured you.
You took a deep breath as you continued to remember things about him. When you had your first kiss, when you were surprised on your anniversary, every little detail about him. It all hurt so much, and you could barely even make it home. You and Bucky lived together, and after losing Steve, too, it was hard to be alone. You pulled out the card you were given earlier, and without thinking, you knocked on the door.
Howard was the one to answer. "(Y/N)? What's wrong?" Howard noticed your sad and tired face, hoping he could at least help a little.
"Howard," You cried out, barely able to stand anymore from all the pain you felt. He noticed you were going to fall, and with quick reactions, he grabbed you before you hit the ground.
"Let's get you inside," He whispered, his arms wrapped around you in fear that you would be hurt, "Everything will be okay."