Lily won't look at me or speak to me. Oddly enough, her silent treatment gives me hope. She cares some what about what I'm doing with Jenna. Or, says a voice in the back of my mind, we've gone back to her not liking you at all. The thought of that causes a drop in my gut.
"Moony," I tug on his elbow, as we make our way to potions class. "I need you to partner up with Marlene today."
He turns to give me a quizzical look- eyebrows raised and lips puckered. "Why?" His voice suspicious and eyes appraising me. He stares at me without breaking his gaze. Remus has always had an exceptional ability to make me spill my guts under his unwavering stare. He runs a hand through his light brown hair, waiting patiently for my response.
"Cause," I say, averting my eyes from his. "I need to talk to Lily, and this seems to be the only way. Wormtail and Padfoot are pairing up, you pair up with Marlene, leaving Lily with me."
"Prongs," he says carefully, tugging on his tie. "Is that the best idea?"
"Please, Moony, I can't have her hating me again." He must hear the pleading in my voice because after a moments hesitation, he nods reluctantly, and we enter the room just before Slughorn starts his lecture.
I zone out as soon as Slughorn's voice fills the room, my eyes glued to the back of Lily's head. Several thoughts and emotion bounce around in my head as he drones on, and an anxious feeling begins to spread through my veins. Lily sighs as Slughorn relies solely on her to be able to answer a question that probably came straight from a textbook.
"It's amortentia," her soprano voice echoes. "The most powerful love potion there is. It's distinct by it's mother of pearl sheen and spiraling steam. It smells different to every person based on what attracts them."
"Maybe, you should give a love potion a try," Sirius mutters, leaning close to my side.
I aim a kick at his shin, but he dodges it smoothly, throwing up his arm as he does so with his middle finger raised. "I want you to get with a partner and work on it. I don't expect any of you to get it today, but I would like you all to try your best," Slughorn says, clapping his hands together excitedly.
Lily looks around, avoiding my eye contact. I watch Remus pull Marlene to the side, convincing her to be his partner. He throws me a look, so I give him a thumbs up. Lily has her back to me and seems to have no intention of looking my way.
"Lily?" I prod. She turns to look at me but quickly averts her eyes, sidestepping me. "Please?" I know my voice sounds whiny and pathetic, but I can't seem to help it. This girl does strange things to me.
"I'll be with Marlene," she says, her voice conveying no emotion, eyes glazed over.
"I think she already has a partner," I say with a slight twinge of guilt in my gut of manipulating her like this. She quickly turns to see her best friend paired with Remus.
"Fine," she spits. "Go get the ingredients." I immediately do as I'm told. I make my way to the cupboard and begin pulling things we need from the shelves, trying to be as fast as possible, not wanting to keep her waiting.
When I arrive back at our table, she has the cauldron going and seems to be having an internal argument. I set the ingredients on the table and look at her, slightly scared. She rolls her eyes, annoyed, and huffs. "Do you expect me to do everything?"
My eyebrows shoot up, and I say very carefully, "No, I just figured you would want to take charge." That, and if I tried to do this, I'd probably blow something up.
"Well," she says flustered. "You still have to help."
"I will," I answer quickly, nodding my head.
"Cut up the peppermint. I'll crush the moonstones."
I cut the peppermint very carefully into thin slices, just like the book says. A rhythm is soon created with the blade of the knife connecting with the stone table. As the silence between us draws out, last night plays on repeat in my head. The look on her face when I walked in with Jenna. The way that nobody had anything to say, not even Sirius. I hesitate before asking, "Are we going to talk about last night?"
"What about last night?" She asks, looking up with a confused expression.
"Lily, you looked upset." She was upset. I saw tears in her eyes.
"Why would I have been upset? I just thought you would want to tell Remus and Sirius all the details. You know, guy time?" She shrugs, studying the contents of the cauldron.
"Oh," is all I can manage to say, as I lower my eyes back down to my work. I had misinterpreted things. She didn't care that I was with Jenna; she probably just felt awkward. I'm an idiot. Heat creeps up my neck as embarrassment flushes through my body.
"Why?" She asks airily, stirring the potion. "Did you think I was upset?"
"Oh, I just thought you looked upset," I say quickly, covering up my misinterpretation. "My mistake, Evans."
"It's fine, Potter," the iciness in her voice throws me off. I glance at her, but she is staring into the cauldron, seemingly done with this conversation. What's up with the attitude change?
The rest of class is uneventful, and I don't push my luck with Lily anymore. I do as she tells me and concentrate on not screwing it up. Lily brews the potion perfectly, according to Slughorn. I lean forward, my glasses fogging up from the steam, unable to resist the temptation of seeing what it smells like.
"What are you doing?" Lily demands, hands placed on her hips.
I continue to lean over, taking a deep breath, inhaling the luxurious scent letting it fill my lungs, a slight feeling of ecstasy coursing through me. "I wanted to see what it smelled like."
"And?" She asks, making me smile. Girls are utterly confusing. She said she didn't care about what she saw last night, but now, she sounds eager to know what I smell in the most powerful love potion in the world.
I lean away from the glorious smell, wiping my glasses on the edge of my robes, before placing them back on my head.
"I'll tell you, if you tell me," I smirk. Two can play at this game, Evans.
She stares at me for a moment, before hesitantly leaning over the cauldron and taking a deep breath. "Old books, chocolate frogs, ink, and," She pauses, cheeks going slightly pink. "I can't tell what the last one is."
What did she smell? I can tell she knows what it is. Her cheeks are on the verge of being as red as her hair. She looks down at the table, seeming to be very interested with a scratch in the wood, as she traces its jagged patter with her thumb. My stomach gives a heave, as I realize why she's embarrassed. She didn't smell something; she smelled someone. Jealousy pools in my stomach, causing my teeth to snap together.
I take a deep breath, calming myself, before saying, "Broomsticks, butterbeer, and licorice wands."
She nods, seemingly lost in thought, still studying the scratch in the table. She turns her head, as if looking for someone. Her eyes land on Marlene, and she sighs. She flips her hair over her shoulder. The smell of vanilla swirls in the air, causing me to take a deep breath, enjoying the smell. She always smells like vanilla; I think it's the shampoo she uses.
"Ink?" I ask jokingly, breaking the silence, to which she rolls her eyes at me.
"What's wrong with ink?" Her voice doesn't have the joking tone to it I was hoping for, and she still won't look at me.
"Everything," I laugh desperate for things to go back to the way they were. We were so good as friends. She stays silent, looking straight ahead.
"Oh, Evans, word of advice," I add with a smirk when she doesn't reply.
"Yes?" She asks.
"Go easy on the shampoo. You're practically gagging me here!" I say with a laugh.
She turns to face me cocking her head to the side and stares at me like she's trying to figure something out. Maybe, it wasn't funny. "Potter, don't be such an arse. I didn't shower this morning because I over slept. If you're trying to tell me I smell, just say it."
The smile leaves my face, and my stomach clenches. I'm an idiot. Her. I smelled her shampoo in the potion. Of course, I smelled her. How could I not? How did I not realize that? The chiming of the bells saves me from not having to answer. I snatch my bag from the table and run.
I don't stop running until I know I am a safe distance from the classroom and Lily. I drop my bag to the floor and lean against the wall. A pain jabs in my side with every intake of breath. All I can think about is how potent her smell was in that potion. I'm hopelessly in love with a girl who doesn't love me back. A girl who didn't even smell me in her potion.
"Are you okay?" I look up to see Jenna grinning at me, eyes shining.
"Oh, yeah," I shoot her a grin, trying in vain to regain my composure. "Why?"
"You just looked upset," she says, edging closer to me. "Anything I can fix?" Her eyes gleam hungrily, making me want to back away.
I force myself to smile at her, "Maybe."
She leans towards me, batting her eyelashes. "Just let me know," she purrs, before turning away suddenly and strutting down the hall.
"Prongs?" I jump, turning to see Remus. His eyebrows are raised disapprovingly.
"Hey, Moony," I breathe, trying not to look guilty. "What's up?"
"What was that?" He demands, arms folded.
"Nothing, Moons," I sigh, stuffing my hands deep into my pockets. "I promise."
"Mhmm," he grunts, not believing me. "Whatever you say. Don't forget we have patrolling tonight."
"Right," I say. I walk away hurriedly before he can ask me anymore questions and make me spill all of my secrets in his signature Remus Lupin way.
What if Lily figured out what I smelled in the potion? How are we going to be friends if she knows that? I'm already on thin ice. I groan internally. How could I have been so thick? Of course I smelled her. It fucking Lily Evans. How could I not?
"You know we're not done with our discussion, right?" Remus prods, as we make our way through the sixth floor later that night.
"Moony," I plead, pinching the bridge of my nose, feeling an ache in my head. "Please don't."
"What was that with Jenna today, Prongs?" He demands in his stern, prefect voice. I sneak a look at him. He's unabashedly staring at me, waiting for an explanation.
"It was nothing, Moons. I promise."
"What happened the other night?" He asks softly.
I sigh, wanting to talk about it, but I feel shame flood me every time I think about it. "I wanted to feel something. I wanted to feel something for anyone but Lily. I hate that these feelings have so much power over me. I hate that I feel this way, and that she'll never feel this way about me. Seriously, I love being friends with her, but it sucks always wanting more. And honestly, if she just wants to be friends, that's fine, but I just wish these feelings would go away."
I take a deep breath. Damn, that felt good to say out loud. Remus stops walking; I turn to stare at him. His lips are pursed, and his eyebrows have come together causing a scar at the edge of his hairline to become more prominent.
"You love her, don't you, James?" His words come out slow, as if he is pondering each one of them carefully. His eyes have a faraway look to them as if his mind if working very quickly.
I nod solemnly, not wanting to say it out loud. "I-" Remus starts.
"Petrificus Totalus!" A surge of red light surges between Remus and I. I have a split second to see Remus' wide-eyed expression before I plunge my hand into my robes and pull out my wand.
Two younger kids with green ties hide behind a suit of armor. "Expelliarmus!" Both of their wands fly from their hands and into my grip.
"Immobulus!" Remus cries. The boys freeze where they are, terrified expressions crossing their faces. Remus and I look at each other, before making our way towards them. The both stand, frozen where they are, staring at us expectantly.
"If you try to run we hex you, understand?" I say harshly. What kids try to hex older students? How thick are they?
Remus mutters the counter curse, and the boys stretch their arms and legs, regaining movement. "Names?" Remus demands, jaw locked.
"Samuel Herthing," the blonde one mutters, averting his eyes.
"Lucas Snarkly," the black-headed one sneers, looking unabashed.
"Well, Lucas and Samuel, twenty points from Slytherin...each," I emphasize. I fight a smirk as a look of horror crosses each of their faces.
"What?" They both demand.
Remus adds, "And we will talk with Professor Slughorn about your detention."
"Off to bed," I say handing back their wands. They both grumble as the stalk off, and I can't help feel fondly of my new position as Head Boy. The more Slytherins I can piss off, the better.
"I have Slytherins," I mutter to Remus.
*A/N
Hello, loves! It hasn't been too terribly long since I updated, but I'm glad I got this chapter done. It definitely wasn't my best, but I hope you all enjoy it. School has kept me insanely busy and stressed;this is my go to destresser.
Anyways, I don't know if any of you watch Walking Dead, but this was my therapy session after this episode. I MEAN GEEZ. So, if any of you watch it...you're not alone in your misery.
I hope to update again soon. Thanks for sticking with me and being patient with my unscheduled updates. I love you all!
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