"I talked about us getting married, and she didn't hit me or yell," I say collapsing onto my bed, a familiar feeling swirling in my stomach. I can feel the smile tugging on the edges of my lips, and I know to my friends I look like a lovesick idiot. I can't find the capacity in my body to care because all of my thoughts are occupied by Lily.
"Wow," says Sirius mockingly. "What an accomplishment." Sirius appraises me as he sits on the edge of his bed. His long hair falls into his eyes, and he pushes it away in a manor that still remains elegant.
"It is!" I exclaim throwing my hands into the air, before lowering them back to my hair, tugging through the messy strands.
"You two looked pretty cozy when I found you," he replies with a smirk.
"To be fair," I say pondering it for a second. "I talked about her and Moony getting married too."
Remus joins Sirius on the edge of his bed and gives me a confused look. "Um, why?"
"Cause I didn't want her to think I was an arrogant arse again!" I say. "So, I had to throw somebody else in there."
Remus and Sirius give each other a look. "Don't do that," I command.
"Do what?" Remus asks innocently, shifting his eyes back to me. He knits his eyebrows together in a look of confusion.
I roll my eyes and sit up. "Look at each other like I'm crazy."
"You are crazy, Prongs," Sirius says simply, crossing his arms.
"She called me James today," I say smiling, remembering the joy flooding through my body when my name rolled off her tongue. I don't think she meant to let it slip because her cheeks turned pink, but it is a start.
"And you're whipped," Peter adds, taking a seat in front of me on the floor.
I shrug not really caring. Something feels different between Lily and me this year. Maybe I'm being too hopeful or letting my imagination get the better of me, but maybe, just maybe, I'm right.
"I wonder if she's a virgin?" Sirius wonders allowed.
I lift my shoulders in a nonchalant fashion. "Dunno," I say nonchalantly, ignoring the burning sensation in my stomach. I had wondered this too, several times in fact. I try to keep the idea out of my head because the thought of someone else with her, touching her, kissing her, making love to her is enough to make me go mad.
"I'll go ask," Sirius says simply, hopping of the edge of his bed, leaving Remus looking dumbfounded.
"You will not," I say, jumping off of my own bed and hurrying after my best mate.
"Of course, I will," Sirius shrugs, heading down the stairs. I throw a worried look at Peter and Remus, who quickly stand to follow.
"Padfoot, no," I protest, close behind him debating dragging him back to our room by his hair.
"Prongs, yes," he replies in a mocking tone. I fight the urge to choke him. He's always been this way, stubborn as hell, and once he makes up his mind, there's no changing it.
The common room is pretty empty considering it's late. That and the teachers haven't started handing out homework yet, so everyone is enjoying their free time before it ends in a mountain of schoolwork. Marlene is one of the few people occupying the room. She sits curled on the couch in front of the fire completely engrossed in a book.
Sirius snatches it from her hands and lowers himself onto one of the available
armchairs. "Black!" She protests, cheeks immediately flushing with annoyance.
"McKinnon," he nods back, smirking.
I sigh lowering myself on the other end of the couch, as Remus and Peter claim the other two armchairs. "Black, so help me," Marlene spits.
"Yeah, yeah," Sirius says impatiently, waving his hand. "You'll hex me. We know. Is Lily a virgin?"
Marlene jerks back in shock from the question. "What?" She demands.
"Is...Lily...a...virgin?" Sirius says slowly, as if he is speaking to a child.
"I'm not going to tell you that," Marlene says exasperated, crossing her arms.
"Please, Mar," he says, sticking his lip out and throwing his eyelashes back to reveal big, grey eyes. I roll my eyes at him. This is his "signature move" to get girls to give him what he wants.
Marlene, even though obviously flustered, rolls her eyes. "No!"
"Come on, Marlene, just answer!" He shouts, losing his composure.
"No!" she refuses, stubbornly. "I'm not telling her business like that! If you want to know so badly, ask her yourself!"
"Ugh! You're no use!" he pouts, crossing his arms and looking into the fire. I look away from the old married couple, and my eyes land on Lily. Her gaze is blank, and her eyes are slightly red. She's been crying. I feel a lurch in my stomach, as I fight the urge to ask what's wrong.
"Hello, Lily," says Remus looking up with an amused expression on his face.
"Hey," she answers, not sounding like herself. "Were you guys talking about me?"
"No!" Sirius answers too quickly.
"Sirius wants to know if you're a virgin," Marlene says, exposing Sirius. Marlene pulls Lily down to sit in between us. I eye her wanting nothing more than to know what is wrong. I sit on my hands to keep from reaching out and wrapping my arms around her.
"So, Red, tell us, virgin or not a virgin?" Sirius asks bluntly. I hold my breath, waiting for her answer.
"Why the sudden interest in my sex life, Black?" She demands, sounding more like herself. Come on, Lily, please answer.
"I'm a curious person," he answers, shrugging. He throws me a wink when the girls aren't looking, which I return with a glare.
"Only way I'm telling is if everybody tells," she gestures around the room.
"Deal!" Sirius exclaims. "And to make things a little more interesting- if you're a virgin, you have to say who your first kiss was, and if you're not a virgin, you have to say who you lost it to!"
Everyone in the circle looks at each other to see if everyone else is going along, before nodding. "Marlene, you first!" Sirius exclaims, pointing his finger at her dramatically.
She blushes and says, "Not a virgin. Amos Diggory, fifth year." Sirius whistles and I let out a whoop, as Lily begins to laugh.
"Stop laughing! You already knew this!" Marlene grabs a pillow and begins to hit Lily with it.
"I know," she continues to laugh. "But it gets more and more ridiculous every time you say it!"
"I hate you!" she says, still hitting her with a pillow, but she beings to laugh too.
"Moony? Indulge us please," Sirius continues.
Remus looks around at all of us and sighs. "Virgin, but my first kiss was in fifth year with Alice Prewett."
"Really?" Lily says. "She's very pretty. Good job, Remus." He winks back at her, his cheeks tinged pink.
"How about old, Wormy?" Sirius presses, looking dramatically at Pete.
Peter's eyes flicker to all of us, and he nervously licks his lips. "Virgin and I've never kissed anyone," he mutters. Sirius howls with laughter, and I hide a grin of my own.
"Be nice, Sirius!" Lily orders coldly.
"There's nothing wrong with that, Peter!" Marlene declares, glaring at Sirius. He continues to smirk but gets his laughter under control.
"What about you, Red?" he asks, wiping away tears from laughing.
She looks at him and raises her eyebrows. Lily, you're killing me. "Stop torturing me! I'm dying to know!" Sirius shouts.
"You're so weird! Stop obsessing with my sex life!"
"Spit it out, Lilikins!"
I pretend to be very interested in the ceiling, waiting with baited breath. Please say no, please say no, please say no. Come on, Lily.
"Not a virgin," she finally admits. My hearts sinks, and I feel a wave of jealousy for the unknown boy. "Fourth year with Regulus Black."
"What?" Sirius demands, wildly jumping from his chair.
Before I can control myself, I've jumped from the couch to join Sirius. She had sex with Regulus. Current death eater (Most likely). A younger Slytherin. Sirius' brother. Lily, why? I feel a rage building in my chest, so jealous I can't see straight because Regulus Black has been with Lily in a way I can only dream of.
"You shagged my brother?" demands Sirius. Marlene and Lily, both red in the face, seem to be fighting some type of urge. Before long, Marlene howls with laughter, and Lily joins in soon after. Am I missing something?
"I couldn't resist!" Lily says through her laughter. There's a thunk! and Marlene has literally laughed so hard she's fallen off the couch, causing Lily to laugh harder.
"Will someone bloody explain what is going on?" I yell confused as hell. Lily meets my gaze, before flicking her eyes to look at my hands, which have balled themselves into fists. After a moment, both girls compose themselves.
"That's what you get for being so nosey, Black," Lily gives Sirius a haughty look. "I'm a virgin, but my first kiss was in third year with Daniel Thomas." My whole body relaxes, and I lower myself back to the couch.
"A Hufflepuff?" asks Peter. "Interesting."
"You beat James," Sirius comments. "His wasn't until fourth year."
"Really?" Lily says, turning to look at me.
"Don't sound so surprised! I'm a virgin too," I reply.
"Really? With the parade of girls you've marched around?" She adds her snarky comment, but something gleams in her eyes. Something I don't recognize.
"Hey!" I protest, slightly hurt.
"Get off my boy, Prongsie!" Sirius jumps in.
Lily turns to Sirius, finger pointed. "Don't even try to tell me you're a virgin, Black!"
He puts his hand to his chest in mock offense. "I happen to be saving myself for marriage!" A snort escapes me before I can help it.
"Oh, yeah, I'm sure," Marlene rolls her eyes.
"Who was it, Black?" Lily demands.
"Mary Bones in fourth year," he sighs examining his fingernails. I hide my eye roll. Acting all nonchalant. What a git. I'm tempted to tell them that Sirius was so bad his first time that Mary Bones said if that was what sex was like, she never wanted to have it again. But, I'm not that mean.
"Nice one, Padfoot," Peter holds out his fist.
"Well, this has been very educating, but we have class in the morning," Remus announces standing, stretching his long arms.
"Aw, come on, Moony!" Sirius protests.
"You need sleep too, Padfoot!" Remus argues, looking at Sirius like a strict parent.
"Yes mother!" shouts Sirius running upstairs. Marlene follows suit, and Lily stands too.
"Can I have a word, Evans?" The words leave my mouth, before I have a chance to think them through. Remus and Peter look at each other before heading upstairs. "Yes?" She says, her eyebrows coming together.
I get to my feet, looking her in the eye. "What happened? When you came in you looked upset?"
"It's nothing, Potter, really. You worry too much," She says, but I hear the slight panic in her voice. She tries to walk past me, not looking at me, but I grab her arm and hold her in place.
"Lily," I breathe. "Please, tell me." I just want her to trust me. Her green eyes stare into mine, refusing to back down. She's so close, I ache to wrap my arms around her.
"Why do you do that?" She whispers.
"Do what?" I whisper back, afraid to break the illusion we seem to be under.
"Call me Evans, then call me Lily?"
"Don't change the subject," I say, my voice coming out rough. I don't know why I do it- sometimes she's Lily, sometimes she's Evans. All I know is that right now, every cell in my body is aching to kiss her. To hold her in my arms and kiss the girl I've been in love with since I was eleven. My eyes flicker to her lips. Just when I think she might lean in, she backs away.
I feel the rejection, familiar and painful, wash through my body. I compose myself, and say, "Tell me please."
We take a seat on the couch, and she takes a deep breath. "I was doing patrols and I ran into three Slytherins- Mulciber, Avery, and Macnair. They were giving me shite about being a mudblood and Head Girl and all that." My teeth clamp together at the word mudblood. My parents raised me to never say that word, or I would be in some serious trouble. As I got older, I learned how nasty an insult it really was. And the thought of that insult being directed at Lily, makes my blood boil.
"Anyways, I think they may be death eaters now, or at least, death eaters in training. We went back and forth about you-know-who, and I told them that they disgust me. And they-"
She cuts off looking at me. She bites her lip, unsure if she should go on, tears flooding her eyes. "Lily," I say my voice cold and unrecognizable even to my own ears. "What did they do to you?"
"They used the cruciatus curse on me...three times." She stares at the floor with unshed tears, unable to meet my gaze. My vision turns red, every muscle in my body tenses, and I feel like screaming because I was't there for her. I grit my teeth trying to calm down. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
When I open my eyes again, Lily is staring at me with tears glistening in her eyes. "I'll kill them," I say simply, meaning every word. My mind can't form coherent thoughts because the idea of Lily writhing in pain and screaming, and those idiots using the curse again and again is enough to drive me insane.
She covers my hand with her's. "I'm fine, really. Please, don't tell anybody."
"Why?" I demand.
"I just don't want people to make a big deal about it. Please?" I can't help but admire how tough this girl is.
"Your secret is safe with me," I say reluctantly, wanting nothing more than to gain her trust.
*A/N
Hello, lovelies! I feel like it's been forever. (Even though it's been only a few weeks) Sorry for the late update. I have been super busy. I had three tests this week, so this was my reward for myself. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I miss writing as much as I could this summer.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think and vote please. I hope everyone is having a great school year. Love you guys!
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