*Leave if you do not like insane stuff
You wish you can go back
You wish there was a way to fix it
Like a movie you replay your flashbacks
Like broken glass, impossible to repair
You try to mend what you broke with your tool kit
You pretend it did not happen, but you are aware
Matt wrote the poem in his notebook until he was interrupted, but hear his door being to open. Behind the door was two men dressed in white. They both hesitantly stepped into the room, standing close to the door, just in case. Matt looked up at them with a grin, giggling a little, mocking their fear of him. Matt just stares at them with his dark eyes. His eyes use to be filled with so much life, only now there is nothing but bitter darkness that lies behind those eyes. The two strong men move a little closer and closer to frail-looking boy. One of them leaned down to Matt's level, he grins attempting to hide his fear.
"Okay Matthew, it's time to take your medicine," he said politely then when to take Matt's hand.
"Touch me and see what happens," Matt said coarsely,"I will bit your fucking head off
"B-But Matthew," the other guard said crouching down next down to the first guard,"You have to take the medicine."
The second guard reached his hand down to touch Matt. Big mistake. Matt's pupil became smaller and he attack the guard like a tiger. He jumps on the guard, scratching him with his long nails, then punching him, and biting him. He bite him so hard on the arm that if drew blood. The first guard sat there petrified as his partner is being ripped apart. Finally the first guard stands up and run out of the room, calling nurses and other guards to help. So for about another five minutes the second guard was being ripped apart by Matt.
"Oh please God!" He screams in agony.
Matt stops and smiled down on him.
"What God, there is no god," Matt whispers in the guard's ear,"You will die and never remembered."
Just then about five people came into the small room. They were closing in on Matt. He growled and attack another guard, making a run for the exit. Only someone caught him, before he could set foot out of his room. They stuck a needle in him, and he was immediately calm. He begins to fall asleep, all he saw before he blacks out is the utter chaos and pain he caused only that is a fraction of he feels inside. You see, Matthew was normal, he had a normal family, he went to a normal school, and he had a normal life in general.
About three years ago, Matt was finishing his senior with straight A's and a soccer scholarship to Princeton. He had an internet best friend that made him turn his life around from struggling at life to kicking life's butt. Matt would talk to him everyday until the late hours of the night. Matt felt complete, like he was whole again. He constantly would draw portraits of the person, making sure he made it perfectly. He wanted to capture every detail of their beauty. Every time, they would talk, he would just dream of one day meeting them. He was to hold their hand, hold them close, and never let them let them go.
"So how was your day?" The person said.
Matt gave them a look, which made the person giggle.
"That bad huh," the person said which made Matt laugh.
"My school fucking sucks, I was literally waiting all day for you to answer," Matt said.
"So you know tomorrow is our one year," they said reminding Matt.
"What did you make me?!" Matt said excitedly,"I wanna see!"
"Lovely, not yet, you need to wait," they said smiling.
"Pwease, I'll act surprised tomorrow," Matt said giving him puppy dog eyes.
"No, even though you look adorable," they said fixing their hair,"You know I'm stubborn."
"Like a jackass," Matt said laughing so hard.
"Fuck you," they say rolling their eyes.
"I would like that," Matt said wiggling his eyebrows.
"You pervert!" They say hiding their face with a pillow.
"Don't hide you look gorgeous," Matt said sincerely.
"Not as gorgeous as you," they said showing their eyes.
"Carter! Who are you the fuck are you talking to?!" A loud booming voice said.
"Shit I have to go, bye baby," he said then turning his computer off.
Matt did not have the opportunity to say goodbye. For the little conversations they have, Matt cherished them always. He loves when Carter sends Matt pictures of him. Carter still tries to look perfect, even though Matt only sees is perfection. The crinkles by Carter's eyes when he smiles, and his contagious laugh. The way he fixes the his hair when it falls in his face. His dorky glasses he always wears makes him look so adorable. When he calls Matt baby, his heart begins to sing.
Matt giggles to himself when he thought of the amount of shit Matt gotten Carter into without moving. The amount of times Carter has been caught by his parents is more that they can count. He wishes that they can talk more than twenty minutes, only now Carter is now busy with swimming and baseball, also hiding Matt from his parents. Matt wished he could see him, only they are so far apart, and it breaks Matt's heart. He walks out of his room and heard his mom squealing on the phone. He raised an eyebrow and walks into the kitchen to see his own mother acting like a teenage girl. She then saw me and immediately hung up the phone.
"Who was on the phone?" Matt asked curiously.
"No one, anyway how is you and Carter?" Mom asked holding in her squeals.
"He has a surprised for our one year and he won't tell me what it is!" Matt pouted.
His mother begins to chuckle to herself, trying to hide her happiness by turning away to wash the dishes. Matt notices this and walks over to her to see the smile on her face. Matt gave her a look, confusion written all over his face. Only she just leaves the room, before Matt could say anything. Matt sat down at the table, just thinking and thinking, trying to put the pieces together. It was like a puzzle with a million pieces, never fitting in. While he was in deep though he looked at the time, 11:03, it was kind of late, so he decided to go to bed.
The next morning, Matt felt very happy. He giggled to himself, thinking of Carter. He did his morning routine and went to school. He was listening to his favorite song until a news broadcast interrupted it abruptly.
"Breaking news," the anchor said,"A plane has crashed into the middle of a busy roadway, killing everyone on the plane and ten people driving."
Matt thought nothing of it and continue driving. He switched to another station. He then realized he got a text message, it was from Carter. It says "I love you." Matt smiled to himself, that is actually the first time he said I love you. Carter wanted to make it special for Matt. Matt continued to have the best day of his life. Nobody bothered him, class were a breeze, and he was just happy the whole day. When he returned home, he was humming a tone when he walked in the door. He stopped when he saw his mom standing at the door with tears brimming her eyes.
"Oh, hey mom," Matt said cheerfully,"Why are you crying?"
"Matthew, you need to sit down for this," she said blankly.
Matt was taken back by this, his mother rarely calls him by his real name. Only he obeyed her instructions and took a seat in the kitchen. His mother stood there looking down at the floor, then looked up at the ceiling for a few moments. It was almost like she is scared to tell Matt something. She sniffles and looks Matt dead in the eye.
"Honey, Carter is dead," she said in a shaky tone.
"Oh mom, that is a funny joke, now tell what's bothering you," Matt said naive to the information that he was told.
"Lovely, this isn't a joke, Carter died on the plane crash this morning, he wanted to visit you for your anniversary, he was going to buy you flowers and chocolate, waited until you returned home to surprise you," she said filled with tears,"I'm-I'm so sorry Matt."
All Matt did was stare at the floor, his eye was twitching, his hands were shaking, all he felt was utter horror. Only he did not show it, he looked up at his mother, stood up, and chuckled at first. The chuckle grew into a maniacal laugh. His eye begins to twitch more. He runs around the house, then dances a little, still laughing. It echoed through the house as his mother stared in utter terror. He then stop then turn his head suddenly.
"C-Carter, the one that has kept me alone for the longest time, leaves me in a second," Matt whispers,"Like grandma, like my sister, l-like dad."
"M-Matt I-" His mother said before being cut off.
"The ounce of fucking happiness I had left!" He screams,"Well at this point in time, I feel nothing."
Matt came closer to his mother, as he back his into a wall. She became really scared, she tried to push him away, only she was not strong enough.
"No pleasure, no pain, nothing," he said emphasizing the word nothing,"Mommy, don't I deserve love?"
"O-Of course baby," she said in a nervous tone.
Matt grabbed her by the throat and whispered his final words of calmness.
"Mommy, you lied to me," he whispered in her ear.
All you heard after that was screaming, pleading for the torture to stop. Only it didn't until the screaming stopped...
Matt wooed up in his white padded room with his many drawing. He still saw his notebook in the middle of the floor. He slides down from his bed to the floor to finish the poem. He writes them down smirking at the finish product.
That there is blood on your hands
You wish you could save him from going on that plane
You wish there was a way to understand
Only then you realize there is nothing wrong with being insane
_____________________
Hey guys, you miss me?