Natasha's POV
I waited in my room until the clock read the correct time. I sighed slipping out of my room and heading towards the living room. Hopefully Steve was there. As it turns out he was. He stood gazing out the windows at the city below. Things had been hard lately. It had been weeks since the party. We had gone out once, then everything went nuts again. Mission after mission and it felt like everything that had happened was gone. Then the incident with Scarrlet and now Bucky. It was a downward spiral. We had hardly talked, hardly acknowledged each other. It hurt yes but I understood why. Love didn't belong in a budding war.
"Steve." I whispered standing next to him.
"So. I assume you arranged this. To get me to sign the accords." I sighed.
"You know that's why I'm here." I reasoned.
"Then you should know that's not going to happen." He said a muscle in his jaw twitching.
"I know. Just consider everything that we could lose." I pleaded. He turned to face me.
"We will lose more if we sign the accords. It's to late you already have but not me." He whispered.
"Have you even considered why I signed?" I asked searching his face.
"Self preservation." He swallowed hard. It felt like I had been slapped.
"That isn't my only motive in life! You of all people should know that! Do you not remember what happened back in Russia?" I yelled as quietly as possible.
"No. I'm sorry." Steve apologized.
"I did it because I work better from the inside. We concede the point let things cool off a bit. We watch them, study them, and we look for a way out. If the world goes to shit that's on them and they will be forced to rethink." I said.
"We don't have that kind of time Natasha." Steve sighed.
"Look I get it. Bucky means a lot to me too but I- Steve I don't want to hurt you." I pleaded.
"You've warned me enough. If you want to work from the inside fine. Shoot at me make it look like you're trying." Steve suggested.
"I'm an assassin Steve they expect me to kill effectively."
"Then do what you have to. Or you can come with me. It could be like old times we could get Bucky back together." He reasoned.
"I can't do that Steve. They already don't trust me, not after the first time, and if they find out about Russia, I'll be shipped back to where I came from. Look I can understand where Tony is coming from. I know what lack of restrictions can do. But I want to go with you Steve I do. My head's with him my heart's with you. I've never been in a position like this before and I don't know what to do so I'm going with my gut. My head and heart can disagree all they want but my gut won't lie." He shook his head and turned his back to me. "Steve I haven't forgotten that night at the party okay? I still care about you. It may not be the same, maybe we were dumb enough to think that we-. The point is. You be careful alright?"
"I will." Steve nodded.
"No. I mean it, if I lose you I will have nothing left. I will have lost you and Bucky. Clint's in retirement and Wanda hates Tony currently. I won't be surprised if she ends up on your side." Steve rested his hands on my shoulders.
"I will be careful I promise but you have to look out for yourself too understand. If the time comes to make a call make it but know I'd be happy to have you on my side." I looked at the ground.
"And Steve, be careful how far you drag Sharon into this. I know you have feelings for her, don't be the reason she gets hurt." I warned. It felt odd to say that especially about the girl who had now captured Steve's attention but it needed to be said. Steve needed to now how much damage he could cause. "I mean it. You're reckless and you don't realize it. So am I but you lost the love of your life once already don't make it happen again."
"Where are you going to go after this is over?" Steve e asked. "I know that when the fighting has stopped whatever the cause of the cease fire is you won't stay here. Not with people watching you like a hawk."
"I don't know. I've only ever had one home but it's being torn up by the roots, but I'm used to moving around. You forget Steve war, Civil War, it's not new to me. I've seen it all before." I glanced at the ground feeling a lump form in my throat. I had watched friends of mine tear each other apart because of war, families, friends, and now it was slapping me in the face all over again. But I wasn't sure if I could handle it happening so close to home.
"Nat-" Steve started, but I kissed him lightly on the cheek before leaving him to stare out the window. To plan his escape from the tower to find Bucky. My chest hurt but I swallowed the pain. He couldn't see me cry, he had a mission, he had an objective and I wasn't sure if I would be able to work against him.
"Good night Steve." I whispered. A tear rolled down the side of my cheek and I made my way back to my room. I closed the door behind me and one after the other, my cheeks were stained with tears. So much for dreaming...right?