Ding, ding, ding! I uploaded on Sunday like I promised. Ya-hoo! Well, this whole chapter is in Remy's P.O.V which is a change. You finally see something about Remy which is totally unexpected because I feel many of youse feel as if he's had it peachy. Well, consider yourselves wrong ;D Anyways, mah lovely readers enjoy it.
I decided to add a little bit of a fight even though it isn't a serious. It makes the chapter more exciting nonetheless especially because it's in Remy's P.O.V xPP
A pic of Remy's newfound friend. I think he's a attarctive little one ^^
- Remy's P.O.V -
We stop at a traffic light on the way back to the hotel from the meeting with the Dux, my grip on the steering wheel instinctively tightening at the thought of that man. How dare he make me see his despicable face? I can never stand the sight of it. It took all my will power to not implant my foot in his face.
After what he did to me, how dare he say my name! I swear he's lucky he's the Dux otherwise I would've cut off his balls and made him eat it.
"The light is green, you know." Clara alerts me softly, snapping me out of my torture fused thoughts and I peer out the windshield to see she's right. I shake my head to clear my thoughts before continuing driving, taking a discreet deep breath and relaxing my hold on the steering wheel. Don't want to accidently break it...
"You seem tense ever since we left the meeting." The Shade notes as she continues to stare out the window and I glance at her from the corner of my eye.
"It's nothing," I deny, sliding my eyes back to the front. "I was just a little tired."
She doesn't need to know and I don't want to worry her but knowing her, she probably might not care. It would be good if she doesn't care, it won't get her involved.
Clara turns to me with an arched brow. "You didn't seem tired when you were flirting with me earlier." She points out and I chuckle despite my earlier mood. She may not know it but she always manage to make me forget things that I can't forget when I'm by myself. I'm thankful to her for that.
"When you're at the level I am, flirting requires hardly any energy." I reply loftily, adding a wink for emphasis and Clara rolls her eyes before going back to staring out the window.
I chuckle again and we drive in silence for the remainder of the journey.
⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■
I pull outside the hotel, turning off the ignition before leaning back in my seat while sighing heavily.
Clara's right, I am tense. I think I'll go to hot springs in the hotel. I've heard they're incredible and I need to relieve my tense muscles. Besides, I should get as much rest as possible before the people the Dux is sending over to force my body into a stupid suit.
As soon as the Dux enters my thoughts, a frown immediately appears on my face. Even the thought of that man makes me want to puke.
"You coming inside or are you gonna stay moping in the car?" I glance at Clara from the corner of my eye to see she already has one foot out of the car as she glances at me from over her shoulder.
I shake my head, waving my hand for her to go. "You go on, beautiful," I answer, waving my hand and trying to keep the smirk from my face. "I'm gonna be here for a while. I'm thinking of going to the hot springs anyway."
Her face falls into a deadpan look before she rolls her eyes, sighing. "Don't call me beautiful..." She mumbles and I let my smirk show as she hops out of the car and shut the door. After watching her walking around the car and enter the hotel, I drop my smirk and sigh heavily, leaning my head back.
While I am discouraged about having to wear a suit, I'm actually looking forward to the mission. Maybe wearing a suit isn't at all that bad. Clara is going to have to do most of it, anyway since she has to get close to Adrien de Forda in order for him to show her the slab. I'll merely be on the lookout for anything suspicious and make sure the mission goes smoothly.
I relax for a moment longer before hoping out of the car, dropping the keys in the valet's awaiting hand before entering the hotel. Instead of me taking the elevator to go to the room Clara and I are staying in, I turn left for the hotel spa. A little bit of relaxation is definitely what I need.
I approach the entry desk for the spa and tap the bell for assistance, drumming my fingers as I wait. A second later, an attractive brunette saunters out of the staff room and attends to me, dressed customary attire of the hotel staff. Anyone will think that she's a nice girl if it wasn't for the way her equally brown eyes hungrily rake me my face.
I smirk.
"How can I help you?" the receptionist asks sultryly, tilting her head seductively and smiling. My eyes trail down to nicely sized breasts. Hmm...I'm really gonna have fun.
"Yeah, I would like to go to the male hot springs." I answer, leaning on the desk and closer to her face. She nods before glancing down at her computer, typing something. All the while, my eyes never stray from her face.
The sexy brunette finishes typing and angles her body to a cabinet behind her, taking out a locker key and handing it to me. "There you go, sir. Enjoy your relaxation." She says formally, the innuendo loud and clear.
I take the key but grab her hand before she can retract it, leaning even closer, my breath tickling her face. "Would you mind showing me where it is?" I whisper, glancing down at her neck, her lips then back to her eyes. "I'm new here."
OK, I lied. But when you literally stare sex in face in the form of a busty brunette what sane man will turn it down?
The receptionist arches a seductive brow before nodding, retracting her hand and walking around the desk. "Please follow me." she instructs, gesturing for me to follow which I gladly do.
⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■
After wrapping the towel around my waist, I close my locker and lock it, retracting the key and glancing down at it while smirking widely.
The memory of what took place in the female toilets enters my mind along with the stares we got when the receptionist and I walked out while she was fixing her top and me zipping up my fly.
The girl's name is Lola and she recently started working here. I think I'll pay her another visit sometime. A chuckle escapes my lips as I slide the band onto my wrist and make my way to the hot springs.
I can never forget an old woman's face when she saw me zipping up my fly. I think she wanted to slap me silly with her walking stick after I gave her a wink before chuckling as I walked to the male changing rooms.
Strolling down the hallway, I sigh softly when I feel the hot air emitting from the springs. I'll probably be here for a couple of hours with the way my eye lids are feeling heavy at the moment.
"Excuse me!" someone calls and I groan. And I'm almost there as well!
I lazily turn around to the voice and see a young boy running to me wearing a towel around his waist as I do. What does he need me for if the hot springs are in front of us...?
"What do you want, kid?" I question blandly when he stops in front of me, panting heavily with hands on his knees. I cross my arms and gaze at the boy boredly while I wait for him to catch his breath. He has short lime green hair that slightly goes over his right eye.
"Are..." he starts breathlessly, panting a little bit more. "Are...Are you Remy Elyota that lives in the penthouse?" the kid asks after catching his breath and I arch a brow curiously.
"Yeah," I drawl suspiciously. "And who are you?"
The boy grins with his eyes closed. "I'm Elijah Westwood," he answers as he scratches the back of his head. "My mum is the assistant manager so I'm here frequently and know about the guests in the hotel. That's how I know about you."
I open my mouth in a silent ah before turning around and walking to the hot springs, the thought of his dad popping into my mind.
The dad is not part of his life it seems. It's obvious he goes to school and he stays in the hotel with his mum until she goes home. But the assistant manager sometimes leave here late, meaning the kid is sometimes here well into the night.
"So how do you know about me specifically?" I inquire after a few moments of silence, blinking my hooded eyes.
"Well, my mum told me that you helped with the main electronic system of the hotel a while back so I figured that you know about technology." He replies as I open the door to the door hot springs. My bare feet touch the hot rocky floor and a warm feeling travels throughout my body, giving me a tingle of pleasure. Breathing a sigh of relief, I glance at Elijah to see him already in the springs.
I shrug and slide into the water myself, the heat instantly relaxing my tense muscles. Oh...yeah...
"Kid, I can fix anything." I state with a shrug, slinging my arms over the wall I'm leaning on and Elijah nods from opposite me, leaning against the wall and playing with the water.
"So what exactly do you need me for?" I question as I quickly catch onto the kid's drift, leaning my head against the stone wall and closing my eyes.
"Well...I...uh...." I raise my head and gaze at the boy's slightly flushed face, arching a curious brow.
"Well?" I prompt as I roll my hand for the emphasis. Elijah's blush deepens and he nervously twiddles his fingers, looking every else but me.
"I-I was wondering...if...you'll teach me what you know." He buries half of his face in the water instantly after putting forth his demand, shutting his eyes tightly. My eyes widen a fraction.
He wants me to teach him in electronics? I learned from the Mother Facility and I doubt he'll be able to understand what I tell him even if I do agree. The language they used for us isn't comprehendible for any normal human.
I sigh softly, raising one hand and running it through my hair. How do I deny a kid? This is going to hard.
"Listen kid, I'm charmed that you want me to teach you but I've haven't got time to be a mentor," I respond truthfully and Elijah opens his eyes to gaze at me sadly. I groan softly. He's making it harder for me.
Pushing aside my guiltiness, I continue. "You should find someone else to teach you. Kid, it's a big world out there and I'm not the only one who's knowledgeable in electronics and whoever teaches you will probably know a lot more than me. I just don't have the time to oversee your training."
Elijah casts his eyes downward, making me sigh. So much for relaxation...
"What?" I question when he mumbles something too low for even me to hear. His eyes widen and his head snaps up immediately.
"N-No!" he denies quickly, shaking his head vigorously before giving me a nervous closed eye smile. "It was nothing, don't worry about it."
I narrow my eyes slightly while Elijah laughs nervously, scratching the back of his head, scrutinizing him for a moment longer before sighing, leaning my head back on the wall and closing my eyes to sleep.
"So, what exactly do you do, Remy?" Elijah wonders after a short while in peaceful silence.
"I'm a travel agent." I answer immediately without opening my eyes. Ah, my usual cover up. It's rare for me to use it. I only use it when I'm asked that question which is hardly ever.
"Oh, so you travel a lot, huh?"
I nod even though I'm still leaning my head on the wall and Elijah makes an oh sound, remaining silent when he realises that I don't intend to continue conversation.
My eyes slowly open when a beeping sound reaches my ears. Thanks to my super hearing, I can hear my phone from locker. From the familiar beeping I can tell its message. I'll check it in a couple of hours when I'm finished here...
I wonder who is messaging me. I received my mission an hour ago which doesn't happen until tomorrow night and I don't give out my number anyway. It could be Clara probably wondering where I am but she couldn't care less. I'm an Ember and in her eyes I can take care of myself which is true but it wouldn't hurt to care a little.
Speaking of her caring, I think I may have said something bad before the meeting. After what I said about her being an emotionless person she didn't speak for a while. I didn't mean to hurt her – that's if I did – but you can't blame me for expressing my opinion.
We weren't made to discard our feelings as much as Shades because we weren't actually taught how to be soldiers. We were just taught how to handle electronics so we could be of assistant to our partners. From building bombs to hacking the most secure programs in the world, we were taught everything. Basic soldier training wasn't necessary but we were still taught the foundations of combat.
Because of what I am, I still retain my emotions. Although people that know me will say that I'm emotionless. It's not like I can't express my emotions, I don't want to express them. I'm probably contradicting myself with what I said to her earlier but when you have emotion, no matter how little you express them, it does make things easier to deal with.
Having no emotion is like a dam. It's helpful to prevent flooding but when it overfills, the dam can't hold it back any longer and it'll burst. Same thing applies to emotions. You can keep it bottled for a while but bottle it for too much makes it unbearable and will probably cause a mental breakdown when your wall bursts open. That kind of thing is not nice. I should know...
The sound of sighing and water dripping causes me to open my eyes and raise my head. Elijah is already out and wrapping a towel around his waist.
"It's time for me to go home now," he says when I open my mouth to ask what he's doing "So, I guess I'll see you around." He gives me a small wave before walking to the exit. I'm about to close my eyes when he calls out to me again.
"And...please consider my offer. I really need a mentor." I turn my head to gaze at Elijah just as he shuts the door, making me sigh.
Why does he want me to be his mentor so much?
⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■
Opening the door to the penthouse, I immediately notice Clara sitting on the sofa while reading a magazine, causing me to chuckle as I slip off my coat and hang it on the desk chair. That spa was very much needed. I feel so relaxed. Now, after relaxing I'm in need for some sustenance.
"What are you reading about?" I ask as I walk into the kitchen to get a can of beer. Opening the fridge, I spot one single can in the corner of the top shelf.
I need to restock up on beer, I conclude before reaching for the cold can and closing the fridge with my foot as I open it, strolling back into the living room.
"A double page spread about our target," Clara answers nonchalantly, eyes drifting to the next page. "Many faces are going to make an appearance including infamous author Chris Jackson, footballer Jordan Brown and singer Ajax Albus aka Double A."
I yawn boredly while rolling my eyes. "Anything else?" I ask flatly before taking another swig of beer.
"Yeah, but you can read it for yourself." She replies before chucking the magazine over her shoulder, which I catch easily after swallowing. I flick it straighter and begin to read.
"Huh, would you look at that," I remark mirthfully after reading for a bit. "It also says that de Forda's date for the evening is new established model Angie Bavis: the only daughter of industrial guru Devin Bavis."
I peer at Clara's sitting figure over the top of the magazine. "You think it's her way of getting more publicity?"
The red haired Shade nonchalantly shrugs her shoulder before standing up from the sofa and turning to me. "If you want my honest opinion, then yes she it is but at this current moment in time, I don't give a monkey's ass."
I nod my head, chuckling as Clara makes her way into the kitchen, discarding the magazine on the table and walking over to the phone by the sofa, picking up the receiver and dialling one for room service.
"Room service, how can we help you?" a male voice sounds after a second of the dialling tone.
"Yeah, can I have a large meat feast pizza, two servings of barbeque wings and more beer," I order, taking a quick swig of my almost empty can. "Deliver it to the penthouse." I replace the receiver without waiting for a reply and sit on the sofa, grabbing the remote and turning on TV. Pizza seems good right now but I'll just have to see if Clara's fine with it.
"I ordered us pizza!" I call over my shoulder without taking my eyes off the Formula One race with my favourite race car driver in the lead. This is why I love race car driving. The thrill is indescribable. I really need to experience it. I might take a trip this weekend. Yeah, that seems like a great idea.
"Yeah, that's fine. I was craving for some anyway." Clara agrees, walking out the kitchen and shrugging her shoulder. My eyes widen and I choke on my beer, coughing roughly as I pound my chest with my fist.
Clara likes pizza? The fact that she even tasted pizza before is a surprise on its own. I always took her for the type that'll eat a crunchy bar and that'll be her dinner for the whole day. The fact that she likes pizza is a shocking revelation.
I turn slowly and stare at her with wide ice blue eyes and she arches a brow curiously at my expression before realisation dawns on her and she rolls her eyes.
"Don't give me that look," she asserts, walking around the sofa and sitting down opposite me, my eyes trailing her. "Because of the fact that I'm a Shade doesn't mean I can't enjoy some junk food once in a while."
My jaw literally drops. And she even admitted it! Oh no, the world is ending but ending secretly! I think the beer has gone to my head...
"Oh, piss off, Remy." She mutters, leaning back in the sofa and closing her eyes. I stare at Clara for a while in shock before shaking my head and placing a hand on my forehead.
"Clara likes junk food..." I mumble, my brain still not used to the information that was just leaked. "A Shade likes junk food..."
"Remy, you mumble another word about me liking junk food one more time and you'll wake up with your balls in your mouth." Clara threatens but I don't register it, still in shocked about what I learned.
"Clara likes junk food...a Shade likes junk food...Clara likes junk food...a Shade likes junk food- Shít!" I exclaim, quickly scrambling over the back of the sofa and narrowly escaping a blade that was aimed for my head.
I land heavily on my back with an oof, my legs dangling over the head of the sofa as my wide eyes blink a few times. The beer spills on the floor.
Did she just attempt to hurt me?
Pulling my legs off the back of the sofa, I slowly lift my head and peer over at Clara. "Was there any need for that- fúck!" I abruptly duck just as another blade flies over my head and buries itself in the doorframe of the kitchen, bobbing from impact.
"Geez, woman! Stop trying to maim me!" I shout, taking cover behind the sofa. "I was surprised! Can you bloody blame me?!" I decide to crawl to the end of the sofa and peek out. The spot where Clara was sitting earlier is empty but I can still see the dent which means she just got up.
My eyes narrow. I didn't even hear her move...
Suddenly, I commando roll over to the coffee table just as Clara's booted foot slams down on the spot where I just was. That would've been my spine if I hadn't move, I think dryly with a sweatdrop, turning to her as I remain crouched next to the coffee table. She has her arms crossed and her usual bored look in place.
"I forgot to tell you earlier that you're quite quick for an Ember," She commends as I stand up, dusting myself before placing my hands in my pockets. "Your reflex just now further solidifies that point."
"Thanks for the compliment." I say simply, narrowing my eyes slightly. Why do I feel like she's up to something?
We stare at each other for God knows how long when she suddenly lunges for me. Reacting quickly, I side flip to the other side of the coffee table but that doesn't stop as she leans her hand on the coffee table and swings her leg for my face. I raise my arm up and block her kick, jumping away from her.
"Clara, what the hell are you doing?" I question seriously only to receive silence as my answer as she stares at me boredly. OK, maybe I went overboard with the whole Clara likes junk food thing but it's not enough reason to be attacking me. If she just wants to test my skills then she could've asked me to spar with her but not just outright attack me in a hotel room.
Like what the hell?!
"Listen, if it's about what I did earlier then I'm so-" I cut myself off, leaning back in to a crab position when she swings her leg for my face. As soon as my hands touch the floor, I lift my legs up, back flipping further away from the unpredictable Shade.
Just as I land, Clara lunges and I duck, rolling behind her. She lands gracefully on one leg, swinging the other in a roundhouse kick which I flip away from.
Skidding back, she lunges for me again and I manage to grab her outstretched arm, twisting it behind her back and locking my free arm around her neck. The girl is not serious!
"What are you doing?" I demand with a scowl, my lips near her ear but she remains silent and unmoving in my arms.
Before I can ask the question again, Clara slides a leg between mine and drops into a split, my grip on her promptly slacking which causes me to stumble.
Gritting my teeth, I quickly correct myself and swiftly spin around to block a hit from her powerful her balled fist. Good thing I'm an Ember otherwise my arm would've come off...
Clara retracts her hand and lifts her leg to kick me under my chin but I back flip away, landing behind the sofa as she draws a blade from her boot and flings it for my head.
I catch the knife by the hilt, the tip of the blade just an inch from my eye and I grit my teeth in irritation before throwing the blade to the side and making it stick into the window sill. This is getting ridiculous!
"Clara, for fúck sake, stop-" I'm cut off when Clara jumps over the sofa and tackles me to the ground without warning.
"Oof!" I grunt when I land heavily on my back, the Shade straddling me with a blade pressed to my throat and one booted foot holding my arm down to the side. Her free hand holds my other hand above my head.
I slowly open my eyes only for them to widen, my breath hitching in my throat. Clara's face is so close to my own that I can hear her breathing. Her face up close is even more beautiful than what I see every day.
Gazing into her eyes, I notice flecks of dark green in those beautiful orbs and within her pupil is a slits similar to a cat's eye. My eyes instinctively travel to her rosy lips. They're parted slightly and so close to mine that if I lift my head a little I'll be able to feel them against mine.
Maybe I should lift my head. Maybe I should kiss her but what will happen afterwards. It'll most definitely make things awkward between us. I don't want that to happen. I want us to remain partners.
Fúck what happens afterwards, Remy! Her lips are right there! My inner voice says. That's true. Why should I care what happens afterwards. I'm in the moment kind of guy so I should live in the moment. They look so good right now and they're practically begging to be kissed by me. The feeling's mutual.
"You're better than I anticipated." Clara comments, her breath tickling my face. At that, I clench my jaw when blood pulses down below, my heart hammering against my chest. I just hope she doesn't feel how that affected me...
"Y-Yeah, thanks." I reply in my strained voice. Well, it sounded strained in my ear. I'm praying she didn't hear it.
My eyes slowly widens when cold feeling suddenly runs through my body as full realization hits me like a freight train. She's so close to me. She's too fúcking close! I was too focused on kissing her that I didn't even realize our proximity with each other.
Fear builds up in the pit of my stomach and travels through my body like a speeding train. The proximity is too much. I can't...I can't...handle it...Clara needs to get off of me...now before I lose it!
She stares at me a moment, watching my chest rise and fall rapidly and my eyes widening in panic. Without realizing what I'm doing, I tense my arms and try to pull my hand out of my grasp. She's too close. She's too fúcking close for comfort.
Clara's eyes dawn in realization and she releases me. The breath I didn't know I've been holding is finally released in rapid quantities as I sit up. Clara's back is turned to me and I use this opportunity to calm myself down.
That was too close for comfort. I can't believe I allowed her to get so close to me. Placing a hand on my heart, I feel the speed at which it beats. I still haven't fully healed yet...
The door knocking followed by 'room service' immediately makes me grateful for the distraction. "I'll get it." I quickly announce, standing up to dust myself before briskly making my way over to the door and practically yanking it open.
The waiter is a young boy with brown hair and blue eyes like me. "Here is the food that you ordered, sir." He says, nodding his head to the cart in front of him. I nod, stepping to the side to allow the boy to bring in the food.
After the boy leaves, I instantly grab a can of beer and open it before chugging down the whole thing in one gulp. That was needed...
⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■⊙■
I switch off the TV, rubbing the back of my neck tiredly before glancing at the clock. Ten forty-five, I guess I should go to bed, I think, yawning and standing up from the sofa. I sleepily make my way to my room, changing into something comfortable and collapsing on my bed.
Clara went to bed about an hour ago which I understand but I can't seem to get what happened earlier out of my head. It's like I'm reliving it and the urge to kiss her comes rushing back. Man, this isn't normal. I think I need to get laid again.
But I can't help but think of her close proximity. I couldn't control the amount of fear I felt. I just couldn't. Even the fact that she's my partner and I've been working with her for a couple of months doesn't help the situation either. I just can't bear that kind of proximity. It scares the hell out of me...
My phone vibrates on the bedside table and I lazily turn my head to it. Groaning into my pillow, I reach for the device and flick it open seeing that I have two new messages. I open the first one and read it through heavy lids.
Reminder: personal stylists will be arriving tomorrow at exactly twelve thirty for the event.
My hand falls limp as I groan into my pillow. Why in the hell do the people have to come so damn early? Five and a half hours of being toyed with. God help me now...
I raise the phone to my face again, instantly deleting the dreaded message and opening the second one. Upon seeing the name the message came from, I immediately sit up in alert, my eyes narrowing.
Why is he texting me? How did he get my number? More importantly, what the fúck does he want? The man has never made any attempt to talk to me and he knows how much I feel about him. He knows I hate his guts with every fibre of my being and yet he's texting me as if we're alright.
He's doing this on purpose. I just know it. He thinks he can worm his way back into my life but I'll cut of my own dick before I ever allow that.
Taking, a few deep breaths, read the second message I received.
Remy, it has been a long time, hasn't it? I must say I was surprised you showed up at the meeting, I was actually expecting the opposite but that is not the reason why I am messaging you. I was hoping if you would like to have lunch with me this weekend? You know, for old time's sake. I want to know of your progress and how life has been for you especially after you became partnered with a Shade. I have faith you won't turn down my offer. I'm sure you'll figure out how to reply. You're an Ember after all.
P.S don't waste energy wondering how I got your number. Remember, I am the Dux.
My grip on my phone tightens to the point I actually crush it in my hands. That bastard wants to have lunch with me? Who the fúck does he think he is? After what he's done to me, he wants to have lunch?
Pure, unadulterated loathing and enmity courses throughout my body and before I know it the crushed device in my hand bursts into flames.
Why does he want to have lunch with me? Why the fúck does he want to see me? If I remember correctly the man couldn't stand the sight of me. He treated me like shít. He made me feel like I was beneath everyone. He made me want to kill myself on many occasions. In other words, he made feel like complete and utter filth!
I'm an Ember which makes it difficult for me to die and when I found that I was one, I had a mental collapse. I slit my wrists thousands of times but they kept on healing as if I didn't run a glass shard through my skin. During my mental instability, I stabbed myself countless times. I even tried to break my neck but each attempt proved futile and I remained alive, suffering when for whatever reason I'll never know.
When I joined the Mother Facility, I was like a baby rabbit. The sight of light made my mental state worse. I couldn't stand physical contact or when people uttered a word to me. If they did, I would go ballistic and try to kill them. It took me years to recover from the mental instability I suffered and when I thought everything will go fine from now on, I heard that he was appointed the title of Dux. From that news alone I almost had another mental collapse. I went through all of that because of that man. I shouldn't even call him a man but a seed of the devil.
Thankfully, a soldier helped me through all of that. In fact, he was the only person that offered to help me. He taught me how to trust people again and to not be afraid of fear but embrace fear. To use my fear to make myself stronger. I owe him my whole life....
I snap out of past-filled thoughts, when the scent of smoke enters my nose and I glance down at my hand to still see the flames burning strongly. I sigh. I probably sparked it because of my anger.
I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths, feeling the flames slowly diminish before disappearing completely, leaving a burnt piece of metal that was once my phone.
I sigh again, chucking it into the bin by the door and collapsing back onto my bed. There's no way I'll see that man. There's no way I will.
"You're a failure, Factorem. A waste of a human being. You should die. The world will have one less waste of space to think about."
A young me sits huddled in the corner, my face matted in dirt and my lips chapped. Tears stream down my face as I gaze at the domineering figure in front of me.
"I-I'm n-not a waste o-of space." I object weakly, my voice coming out raspy from the lack of water and the endless tears I've been crying.
The figure smirks, stalking towards me purposely, making me press myself into the wall, hoping it'll swallow me as the figure kneels before me. My tears flow out with more fervour and I whimper as I hiccup from my tears.
"You're not a waste of space, huh?" he questions lowly, purposely cupping my cheek with his large hand. He leans forwards until his lips are near my ear.
"Factorem, you are a failed human and you have no place on this earth. You aren't wanted and you'll never be wanted. No one likes useless baggage and that's exactly what you are. Forever you'll never find anyone who would want you. You're not even worth a punch. Tell me, how does it feel to be so worthless that no one, not even I will bother to raise a finger on you? Stay in this secluded room where no one will have need for you. Stay here and die where you know your life hasn't been a shred of use to this planet."
By then, I'm crying controllably, knowing his words to be true. I am a waste of space. I should die. I should just kill myself so that I don't have to endure this mental torture any more.
Leaning back, the figure smirks, tapping my cheek mockingly and nodding his head at the same time with that twisted smirk of his before standing to leave the room. He pauses when he reaches the door which allows the only source of outside light to leak in.
"Oh, I almost forgot," he says, glancing over his shoulder at my frail figure. His smirk widens before he says the words that are my undoing. "You're an Ember."
My tears immediately stop and I slowly gaze the figure of my nightmares with wide, puffy eyes. I'm an Ember, I think in disbelief, staring at the door, eyes wide in shock. I'm an Ember...
I can practically feel my mental walls crumbling as I scream out, my hands flying to my head and clutching it. Shaking my head vigorously, my scream becomes louder and I slam the side of my head against the wall.
I repeat this action countless times, feeling my blood stream down the side of my head and into my ear. In that same second, I feel my head wound close up, causing my panic to go into overdrive.
I pull at my hair and bang my head harder against the wall before jumping to my feet and slamming the back of my head against the wall again.
The same thing happens before, causing my shoulders to shake and my heart race in panic. My breathing becomes shallow and I quickly to run to a blacked out window, punching through it with my fist.
Bits of glass stick in my knuckles as the rest drop on the floor, some piecing the flesh of my muddy feet as I drop to my knees, crying uncontrollably and blindly scrambling around for the largest shard of glass.
I pick one up and immediately slice my wrist in the hope of cutting my vein. Pains shoots up my arm as blood seeps out of the wound before it quickly heals, causing my eyes widen. In a panic, I start to slice the flesh of my arm in quick succession, each wound healing when another is created.
The figure smirks at my mental breakdown before closing the door, entrapping me once again in darkness with the revelation that I'm an Ember hanging in the air, torturing me further.
After ten minutes of slicing both of my arms, I shut my eyes tightly as my tears continue to stream down my face, my breathing laboured.
This isn't happening...this isn't happening!
Sucking in a breath, I raise my hand with the glass shard up before plunging it deep into my wrist that the end comes out the other side.
My eyes snap open and I sit up with a jolt, my breathing heavy and cold sweat dripping down face. My wide eyes scan the room, chest heaving up and down before hurriedly checking my arms and my head. No scars. Thank goodness.
I glance down at myself, trying to calm my erratic breathing. That nightmare made me sweat so much my top is soaked in it. I place a hand on my face and take a deep breath. I haven't had a dream like that in years so why am I all of a sudden having them now?
Shaking my head, I pull my sweat drenched top over my head and chuck it to the side, taking another deep breath before lying back down, my teeth chattering as I pull the cover under my chin. I'm shivering as if I'm cold. It's warm in my room but I'm shivering from the cold in my dreams. I haven't felt this way for countless years and now I'm experiencing it again.
Opening my eyes to the ceiling, I turn onto my side and curl into a ball. I will never escape my horrible past, will I?