Copyright © 2014 Levyalcide
All rights reserved.
***
It's funny when you find yourself looking through a magnifying glass of your life. There is a shock of realizing that you are too far from who you had planned of becoming; you are a stranger. It's like somewhere you accidentally forgot to press the pause button, and now you have to struggle to find your way back. The thing is it's hard to get back to something you don't remember, and that's how I felt back then. I remember it clearly, like it was yesterday...
I was with Maya on that summer evening. I was in my bedroom like every other sleepover we've had at my house. She was sitting on her bed and I was pacing around mine.
"Argh! I hate my life!'' I complained as I walked back and forth in my bedroom.
I had a fairly large room. There were two beds placed at two different corners with a large space in between. There was a dressing table at the furthest end near the door, and a desk and chair was near the window between the two beds. The whole room was painted light blue, except the ceiling which stayed white, just like I wanted back in middle school, with sticky stars forming my favorite constellations.
I gave a frustrated sigh and walked towards the window. I felt a little calmer when I saw the sunset for there was something about it that gave me peace and reassurance.
"What happened this time?" Maya asked.
"This time? Well nothing much, just another unproductive day feeling like i'm supposed to be doing something and i have no idea what! Add to the fact that i have no social life whatsoever, i believe this time, this time i'm diagnosed with Acute boredom unsatisfactory life expectancy syndrome. Hmmph! What do i do with myself?" The last words i whispered to myself.
My best friend Maya walked towards me and stood behind me.
"You should stop doing this to yourself. It's unproductive and most of all unhealthy. Now i know you're going through a phase bu-"
"A phase? well its a bloody long phase dontcha' think? How long M? Huh? How long must i feel like someone is watching me, judging me. I just wish i could.. i don't even know." I slowly slide low on the wall, hunched and hugged my chest. Maya came down with me.
"Is this because you're missing a certain someone?"
I whipped my head angrily at her. "Did you hear a single word i said?!"
"Wouh! hey chill there angry monster. I'm not the enemy."
"I am chill. You just don't get me." I sighed. Anger replaced by disappointment. I closed my eyes and breathed. She was not entirely wrong. There was someone i was desperately missed. But that was by far the reason i was.. lost.
"I agree, i may be one of your best friends but sometimes like now, i wish he was here."
"Me too."
I took a deep calming breathe and faced her.
"I'm sorry."
"Its okay."
"No i shouldn't have lashed out on you like that. For that, i am sorry." I said guiltily, she smirked and stood up.
"I got an apology from you so its fine. Besides, no matter what your feeling i know the truth. Most importantly, how to solve it!"
"Whatever do you mean Mariana Hastings?"
"Well, you Oracle Kaiser, will just have to wait and see!" I smiled and stood up.
"I told you not to call me that!" I walked towards her as she slowly backed away.
"You started it!"
"You have a beautiful name, unlike mine.." She stopped backing away and walked towards me. Determined, she held up my chin.
"We are not going to have that talk again, Ori!" Her eyes burned with intensity.
The bravado I had was slowly fading, and I was beginning to feel so stupid. What just happened?
"It's Ri!" I gave a small smile as I attempted to shift the topic.
"I will call you whatever I want. Right now you will listen to me. Oracle, Ori, Ri, whichever you identify yourself with. Its just a name. You, deary, are a tall, sexy, beautiful young woman! No one is going to see it until you realize that yourself! Do you understand?"
I gave her a weak nod.
"Say it."
"Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, I am Amazing," I said with a cheeky smile.
"I didn't say amazing, but I guess that will have to do for now." She let go of me and started walking gracefully towards the door. She posed mid-step and turned around.
"Besides, look at me." She twirled around in her red dress. Her angelic face was giving me a bright smile that could easily make a sick man start jumping up and down.
I chuckled, shaking my head.
"And do you really think I would hang out with an ugly named losers when I look this incredible?" She winked.
I feared for the man who would one day with no doubt be a slave to her beauty. I walked over to my bed and sat on the edge, and she soon sat beside me.
"I often wonder why some of that egotistical nature didn't rub off on me," I said. "But worry not for one of these days I am going to be... different. Maybe i'll join the mafia? Or a secret intelligence. I'll train and become one of the sexiest and toughest people you've ever meet! And when I come back, I will be a whole new me! You won't even recognize me. Then-" I lightly smacked her head with my hand.
"Ouch!' she exclaimed smiling.
"And only then is when I will tell you that I don't hang out with beautiful named losers! I will dump you."
"Hey!"
I laughed at her feigned hurt expression and continued.
"Yes. I will dump you and hang out with my new tough friends!" I dreamily sighed with a big smile on my face.
"Very funny. I highly doubt that." She paused. "Besides, Nay will beat up anyone who tries to take you away from us." She gave me a knowing smile, nudging my arm with her elbow.
His name gave my heart an aching squeeze, but I immediately dismissed it.
"Maybe you're right. But wouldn't be wonderful to sing 'i-told-you-so' in your face?" I laughed at the thought.
"Why would God allow such a drastic change?" She raised her eyebrows, challenging a response.
He allowed him to leave us.
I looked into her eyes and thanked God that at least she was still here with me and not in some-
"Did you hear what i just said?" She waved her hands over my eyes.
I gave her a sheepish smile when she caught the glassy image in my eyes.
"You were thinking about him, weren't you?"
I growled at her question, and threw my hands up as I bounced flat on the bed.
"Will you just drop it.? And refrain from killing my wishful thinking! It's my free will to imagine whatever I want, whenever I want, wherev-"
"Okay! I get it. You have succeeded in changing the topic." She joined me flat on the bed.
I arched my face to look at her.
"Your wishful thinking was never alive to begin with Hunny B," she lowly whispered looking at me with sympathetic eyes.
I turned my face back up to the ceiling, looking up at the constellations that were there. I formed an image of a different me, the one I always desired.
In that moment, I vowed to myself that one day I would make it happen; I would become that person.
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I was not aware of my surroundings until I felt a blanket gently covering me, and then once again I felt like I was in my own little world. I curled up and held the pillow against my face. In a husky low voice, I whispered,
''One day. One day, you'll see."
With that I closed my eyes as a teardrop fell. A pair of arms enclosed around me in their embrace before I drifted off to slumber.
***
P/s- *whispers* It won't hurt if you Vote! Hehe.. Thank you! :))