Listen, Raven, I can't talk long. They'll track your brain waves and find that I am in contact with you. These memories, they aren't from being stung. Your body is somewhat immune to the memory erase that you were put through. When you were put under the sedative, they put a chip into your brain that blocks your memories. Everyone in the Glade has them, but your body had a sort of allergic reaction to something and it forced the chip to malfunction. You are slowly getting your memories back because your body is fighting it. Soon you'll remember everything. You can't tell anyone, though, not even Newt.
I collapsed onto the maze floor. I ignored Minho's worried calls. He had skidded to a stop when he had noticed I was no longer behind him. I could hear him running back over to me but I ignored him. I placed my hands on either side of my face and focused. Wait, Tommy? No answer. Tommy?
Only Newt ever called me that, you always just called me Thomas, he responded. I jumped slightly at his voice. Newt was the only one that ever called him Tommy. They must have been close.
"Raven, what are you doing?" Minho questioned, shaking my shoulders.
You can hear me? I asked in my thoughts. I was using all the energy I had to not lose focus but Minho was making that very difficult.
Yes, I have to go. Raven, you can't tell anyone, especially about us communicating. Promise me, Thomas said. His voice sounded stressed.
I promise I whispered. Then he was gone. It was almost like I felt his presence leave my mind. I pushed myself off the ground, ignoring the new headache that was pounding in my skull.
I checked my watch and looked at Minho, "I think we best be getting back to the Glade."
"What the fuck was that?" Minho asked, refusing to budge when I grabbed his arm.
I cursed to myself and began running back to the Glade; I left Minho in my dust but I knew he wouldn't be far behind. Minho and I were the last runners to get back to the Glade. Most of them were already at dinner. Newt leaned against the map rooms wall. His arms crossed over his chest.
"I was beginning to worry," he said.
"Sorry, we got a little caught up in time," I said sheepishly before shooting Minho a look that said 'if you tell him, I'll cut off your balls'. Minho just shrugged and headed into the map room. I went to follow him with Newt on my tail. I turned back to face him. "You should go get some dinner," I said, "I'll catch up with you."
"I don't mind waiting," he replied.
I sighed and nodded. Minho was already at the table, scribbling down his notes. I followed suit, grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil.
I could see Newt standing there, watching us. I could tell that he knew something else happened to cause us to be late. But I had to stay true to my word. Thomas told me I couldn't tell him, so I couldn't. I didn't know why trusting Thomas was something that I was keen on doing but for some odd reason, it felt right. Had he been one of my friends before the Maze?
Dinner was silent, besides Leo chatter, no one said a word. After a while, I could tell that Minho and Newt were getting restless. Minho was the first to finish his food and excuse himself. Newt was shortly after but I didn't let Newt get far away before I caught up to him.
"I think we need to talk," I said, nodding towards the deadheads. Newt nodded and followed me to the largest tree at the edge of the trees. I slid down it and Newt followed.
"Are you going to tell me what happened out there?" Newt was right on it, but that wasn't what I wanted to talk to him about.
"Nothing happened," I lied. "I got a little dizzy so Minho and me had stopped for around 20 for the world to stop spinning. That's all." Newt didn't look totally convinced but I also knew that he wasn't going press anymore. "That's not what I wanted to talk to you about," I said, dropping my shoulders, "it's about last night."
"Oh," was all Newt said.
"Newt, I-"
"It's okay, I know it was a mistake to tell you. I probably just made -"
"Would you stop cutting me off? You aren't even letting me finish," I said, irritably.
That shut Newt up. He nodded curtly and mimicked locking his mouth and throwing away the key.
"Newt, I," it was suddenly hard to find the words that I had been imagining tell him for so long. "Newt, you are the only thing in this Glade that keeps me from going crazy. You ground me and keep my mind set on finding a way out. Not just for me, but all the other Gladers as well. You make me happy just seeing you every day. So my answer is yes."
"Yes," Newt said, as if he was testing the way it sounded. Then as if a light bulb went off in his mind, his eyes flickered open and he looked at me with a goofy grin.
My heart melted the moment I caught sight of that smile.
~
I couldn't sleep that night, my mind was running rampant with what Thomas had told me. I rolled, tossed, turned, flailed in my bed before finally giving up and getting up. I pulled on some jeans and a pullover hoodie before leaving the homestead. I crept past Newt's bedroom, not wanting to wake him. Once I was successfully down the stairs, I ran across the bottom floor, careful to manoeuvre around any missing boards.
I knew exactly where I was going when I made a B-line for it. The Deadheads were far more calming than my stuffy little room. I leaned up against the tree that Newt and I had been at earlier and shut my eyes.
I rub my temples gently and tried to focus.
Thomas, I murmured, feeling pathetic, but I had to try. Thomas, if you can hear me, please make some indication.
I waited a few minutes before sighing. I knew that it had been too easy. I didn't understand this telepathy at all.
Raven, it's late. Thomas. He had heard me.
I couldn't sleep. What did you mean earlier? And why did I need to get stung? Questions flooded my mind but I knew I had to hold back. There was no way he would talk to me if I asked all of them.
I mean that you will remember everything eventually. You will remember why you were sent there and why we are doing this but you must understand, no one can know any of it or else it could compromise everything. Thomas paused for a moment, as if trying to gather his words. He didn't speak for a little bit and I began to wonder if he was still there. I was about to call out to him again when he spoke once more. You had to be stung because I wanted you to. I know, it's confusing, but it helped push along the memories, it helped your brain push out the chip farther out of the memory block. The venom that the Griever had shot into you was something you are allergic to, it caused your brain to swell.
This was all too much information for me to comprehend and I wanted nothing more than to shake my head free of Thomas' voice, but then again, I had been the one to summon him.
You want me to remember? I asked.
I want you to know why we did it, I need you to understand that I don't think it is worth it, I'm starting to doubt everything we built here. And I need you, Raven. You were always the one to keep me from falling for the lies. And most importantly, I'll need your help when I get there. Thomas said, rather in a rush. I've got to go, sleep well.
And then he was gone; the voice disappeared as if it had never even been there. It caused me to wonder if all these conversations had just been a hallucination.
"I had a feeling I would find you out here," a voice spoke through the darkness. I jumped and scrambled to my feet. I couldn't make out who it was. It was too dark and I hadn't thought to bring a light.
He walked closer. Pulling out a lantern and lighting it. It was Tony one of the recent Greenies. The one that had given me an uneasy feeling.
"What are you doing up?" I asked. I felt a gust of chilled air which caused bumps to form on my arms. The way he laughed made my skin crawl.
"This is the only time I can ever get to you without any of your bodyguards. Especially Newt, he is always getting in the way," Tony began to move closer to me. I started to back away.
"Tony, what are you doing?" I tried to keep my voice calm and collected; although, my breath was trembling. I stumbled over a tree root but was able to steady myself.
"Do you really think that Newt is the only guy in this Glade that wants you?" Tony paused for a second, watching my every move. He began advancing once more when I hadn't fallen, "you stupid little naive girl."
He was only a foot away from me now. "Stop," I said, standing my ground.
"Princess, is that what he calls you?" He didn't stop. My back slammed against rough bark and I bite back a cry of terror.
Tony took the last few strides and grabbed me, pulling me up against his chest.
"Tony," I stuttered, trying to push away from his grasp, which only caused him to tighten it. "Stop this," I pleaded. "Stop now and I won't say anything to anyone about this whole exchange."
"Don't worry, you can go back to that limping bastard after I'm done," his lips were on mine. I didn't freeze as I thought I might. Instead, I shut my mouth tightly and fought against his strength. I tried to pull my arms from his grasp but his held them too tightly.
I lifted my knee up and made contact with him. He toppled over in pain as I ran away, tears pouring down my cheeks. I stumped over every pebble possible. Falling to the ground at one point, I rolled over and squeezed my eyes tightly. I pleaded for my world to stop spinning, but when I opened my eyes, I saw Tony walking towards me from the deadheads. I ignored the new dizziness and pushed myself back up onto my feet. I sprinted as fast as my legs could take me. I made it into the homestead and slowed my pace. I jogged up the steps, taking them two at a time before I skidded to a stop in front of Newt's door. I paused for a second, wondering if I should wake him. But then I heard some rustling from downstairs that made up my mind for me. I pushed open Newt's door. The door banged against the wall, and Newt jolted awake, pushing himself up into a defensive position. His eyes found mine and he relaxed.
"Princess?" Newt questioned, "what's wrong?" I walked over to the bed and hugged him, "was it another dream?" His eyes were filled with worry.
I shook my head and buried it into his chest, "I was out in the deadheads." My voice cracked. I couldn't get the words for what happened after that. Newt laid back down on the bed and pulled me with him. He held me tightly to his chest. "That new guy, the one after me, he-" it was as if the words hitched in my throat. And Newt's grip tighten on me on instinct.
"He, what?" I could hear the anger building in Newt's voice. What if he didn't want to be with me anymore? Another glader kissed me, wasn't that cheating on him? My sobs grew harder. I couldn't lose him. He was my wonderwall. "Princess, please tell me what happened?" his voice softened into a whisper.
"He kissed me," I felt Newt stiffen under me, "I didn't want to; he didn't give me a choice. I didn't kiss back. I would never," I paused for a moment, "that wasn't all he was wanting to do. I kneed him in the crotch before he could do anything else and ran here. I'm sorry, Newt. I understand if you don't want to be with me." Newt kissed the top of my head before pushing me aside and standing up.
"Where is he?" his tone was harsh.
"I last saw him in the deadheads, near the tree, but he might near or in the homestead," he knew what tree I was talking about. It was the one we normally sat at.
He nodded, "stay here," I sat up on the bed and watched him. He slipped on his runners and left the room, banging the door closed behind him.
I sat in his room alone for about ten minutes before Newt returned. "What happened?" I asked.
"I put him in the slammer," Newt said and climbed back into the bed.
"Do you hate me?" I whispered. I had been afraid to ask him because part of me didn't want to hear the answer.
Newt was silent for a minute. It was probably the worst minute of my life. I started to get up to leave when Newt reached out his hand and grabbed my arm gently, "I could never hate you."
I let out the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding, "can I stay here tonight?"
Newt pulled me into his arms, "you are always welcome to stay here."
Sleep didn't come easy after that.