CHAPTER 40
NICOLLE’S POV
"Blake?"
"Yes?"
"Why do you love me?”
***
Blake and I will stay at our home for the day. Obviously, we decided to skip classes today, considering that outside of this gate was our school. Tomorrow, everything will be back to the way it used to be. Rumors. Awkward times with Andrew. And on top of that, I have Blake. I have him again and I don't plan on letting him get away from me this time.
I started walking very slow as I observed the shadows casted by the sun on the concrete floor on the bridge. Blake told me that this bridge was about half a kilometer. Quite long, right? But it really didn’t matter as long as I was walking with Blake.
I shot him a sideways glance and I couldn't help but smile at the sight of him copying my very slow walk. I looked down again to our shadows and noticed that he stopped walking. I frowned a bit, but continued walking in slow motion. Before I could lose sight of his shadow, he caught one of my swinging hands then pulled me to him.
Here we are again. So close. Not that I'm complaining. Of course, I wanted us always to be close but for Chipe's sake! It's not even an hour since that dance thing inside the house. Well, whatever.
I looked up to him as he let go of my hand. "Why I love you?" he said, repeating my question.
I nodded.
"I love your hair." He tucked my hair behind my ear.
"I love your eyes." He looked me straight in the eyes.
"I love your nose." He pinched my nose.
"I love your lips." He touched my lips.
"I love your hands." He took my hand and kissed it.
"I love your cheeks." He brushed my cheek with his thumb.
I felt my cheeks getting hot. Blake was so sweet, I wanted to kick him.
He continued, "But that's not why I love you."
Oh, thanks.
He looked even deeper in my eyes.
"I love your name. I love your scars. I love your sarcasm. I love your violence. I love your voice. I love your coldness. I love your attitude. I love your perspective. I love your spirit."
I blinked rapidly to stop the tears from falling. My heart was beating at a crazy rate and I felt loved. I feel needed.
He loves the name Nicolle when I used to hate it. He loves my scars when they were the marks of m stupidity and clumsiness. He loves my sarcasm when it was the main reason a lot of people hate me. He loves my violence when it was something that made people think I was anti-social. He loves my voice when I didn’t. He loves my coldness when it hurt him a lot of times. He loves my perspective when it was weird. He loves my spirit.
Nobody ever said that to me.
Nobody ever told me that one could love my spirit.
I thought I was just an ordinary person, but then I met Blake. I met the one who loved my spirit.
I suddenly wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek on his chest. Caught by surprise, he let out a chuckle but hugged me back nonetheless. I knew he could feel the fast beating of my heart just as I felt the steady and calm beating of his. More tears blurred my vision. I smiled and decided to let these tears fall. I didn't care if I was not anymore the tough girl or the ice princess or the grumpy one. I didn't care. Blake changed me. Without knowing and meaning it, Blake changed me. And he changed me for the better.
We're meant to be together and we will be.
I felt his lips on top of my head and I held him even tighter. Silence enveloped both of us as we hugged each other for dear life, like he was the source of my life… and he was. I didn’t know how to live without him. I knew I’m going overboard but maybe this is what it is; maybe this is how it is.
I missed this guy. I missed it when he couldn't stop teasing me. I missed it when he couldn't stop talking to me. I missed it when he smiles at me. I missed it when he holds me. I missed it when he rolls his eyes at me. I missed him. Everything he does. Everything about him, I missed it. And I will always miss it.
And now I'm happy that I have him back. I will never ever in my life let him go away again.
"Nicolle," he whispered.
I smiled. My name sounded so perfect in his mouth. No one could ever say my name the way he does. He's just so different. No one could replace him. No one could top him, in my heart or in my mind. Or in my spirit.
"I'm sorry I broke up with you. I was dumb, stupid. And I'll never do that again," I said softly, not giving him the chance to continue what he wanted to say. "I love you. I am in love with you hundred million times more than anything."
"That's my line!" he complained. We both laughed and as much as I hate it, we both let go.
We stopped laughing and just looked at each other. I felt blood rushing through my cheeks. And maybe it was just my imagination but he blushed too. We kept staring at each other and I know, I can feel it in my ever nerve, that we are deeply in love. By his stare, by my stare, I knew that we are living for each other. It seemed like forever and I was like drowning in his perfectly blue eyes. He wasn't wearing contact lens today and I was grateful for that because I can see the real Blake; the one that I am in love with.
Just then, strips of water poured down from the now heavy and dark sky. And the moment the rain touched my skin, it was like I was back to life from a trance. I shook my head and realized that I have been smiling the whole time.
"Tara na?" he asked. I nodded. He took my hand and we started walking again under the drizzle. "Kumusta pala tulog mo kagabi?" he asked.
Still looking on the way ahead, I answered, "Good." I paused and remembered how perfect I fit in his arms. "I mean, for a badass like you, you're so comfortable to cuddle with.” I shot him a sideways glance and smiled.
"Edi lagi nating gawin yon?"
"With clothes on, why not?" I shrugged. I almost laughed and blushed and felt embarrassed when I realized that Blake saw me half naked last night. I looked at him. "You?" I asked.
He faced me. "Perfect!" he claimed then winked at me.
I rolled my eyes and chuckled along with the rain. Whoa. It's raining again. As if reading my mind, Blake said, "Umuulan na naman?!"
Luckily, we're already approaching the...playground? I tilted my head and before I could appreciate the view, Blake dragged me and ran towards the nearest tree to shelter us from the rain. Once we were there, he held my shoulders and looked at me, concern emphasized on his perfectly gorgeous face.
My heart throbbed faster just looking at him. "Ok ka lang? Baka lagnatin ka ulit. Hintayin mo ako dito ha?" He removed his shirt while saying, "Baka ka lamigin. Isuot mo muna to. Kukuha ako ng jacket sa loob."
My eyes slid from his blue eyes down to his classic thin nose, down to his soft red lips, down to his sexy Adam's apple and finally to his hot, very hot body. I gulped. I recomposed myself but my eyes were somewhat glued to his abs and I wanted to slap my face hard right now because I was being such a freaking pervert!
I blew a big breath and shook my head as I tried hard to bring my eyes to meet his. When finally, I stopped snatching glances at his perfectly defined stomach muscles, I saw him smirking at me. Both his thick eyebrows were raised.
"You love my body," he boasted. I frowned at him and handed him back his shirt which I didn't realize I was holding.
"Oh shut up you! I'll be alright. Just wear this."My eyebrows furrowed even deeper as he winked and wiggled his own eyebrows. He bent his arm to reveal his so-called 'bicep' and I threw him his shirt as a response.
He laughed along with the stopping of the rain. He kept on bending his arms and I find myself laughing too at how pathetic he looks. In the end, I made him wear his shirt.
***
We slumped down beneath the tree, on the muddy grass. I looked at the playground. No, it was actually more of a park. There's this big place where you can have picnics, a playground where you can play and this tower overlooking the whole place.
"Nicolle?" he called which caught my attention.
"Hmm?"
"Naisip ko lang, yung mga ibang lovers, may tawagan saisa't isa. Parang sweetheart, darling, honey—“
"Oh don't start that!" I rolled my eyes. "That's so gross, Blake." I laughed. He tried to protest but ended up laughing instead. Maybe he realized he did sound stupid. I mean, for Chipe’s sake! I had enough of the Bunny Boo and Fuzzy Jujubear thing. Now, he wanted to take it seriously.
When we were finished with our laughing fits, he said, "Guess I'm gonna stick with calling you Amgirl."
"Yeah. Amgirl's good. I love that name."
"How about sugar?"
I looked at him, kind of disgusted. I shook my head vigorously. "No!"
"Cupcake."
"No."
"Honeypie."
"No."
My eyes started to darken as he kept on suggesting names like: baby, sweetie, loves, forever mine. I swear, Blake was possessed by some bad spirit. Those names were like the corniest things I could imagine.
“Blake, everything you said is worse than bunny boo.”
“Fuzzy Jujubear is kind of cute, an—“
Finally, I can't take it anymore.
I asked him, "Are you gay?"
Realizing what he just said, his eyes widened. "Alam mo, kalimutan na lang natin." He shivered. "Kinilabutan ako sa mga sinabi ko."
I laughed at his funny face.
"Amgirl,” he said.
I saw him frown. “No, bunny boo and fuzzy jujubear. You’re the bunny. I’m the bear.”
My heart felt warm when I heard him say that.
Out of the blue, "May game kasi kami next week. Gusto ko nandun ka," he said almost silently.
I rolled my eyes. "Of course, I'll be there, moron!"
"Deal?"
"Oh yeah. And if I break it, my body's broken."
"Hindi naman naming ganun sinasabi yon eh!" He laughed.
"So what? I have my own version."
"Edi kase!"
Unconsciously, I blurted out, "I miss New York."
"Punta tayo don bukas?" came his fast reply.
"You're kidding me, right?" I asked. I'd say I was pretty amazed at how casual he says things like that. Anyway, what can I do? He's one hell of a rich bastard so I shouldn't be surprised. He looked at me as he took in my shocked and probably funny face.
"Seryoso ako." His voice was serious, yeah.
I rolled my eyes and an idea appeared on my mind. I breathed out. "Wanna go out?"
He smiled at me. Triumphantly, I should add. "This is the first time you asked me out."
***
We ended up in this amusement park in Class C. Of course people couldn’t stop staring at us. Girls, mostly. Every now and then, I would hear them say:
A. Sila na ulit?
B. Nakakainis naman!
C. Cheater siya diba?
D. Hindi naman niya deserve si Prince Blake naten.
E. All of the above
F. Something worse that I wouldn’t want to think of
Blake would try to go down to those girls and beat them all at once but of course I wouldn't let him. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to punch a girl now, would I?
Blake went to buy us ride-all-you-can-‘til-you-don't-want-to-live-anymore tickets and I was glad he did because I was itching to spend the rest of the day cheating death. Well, at least, technically.
While he was waiting for his turn in the line (to my surprise), a group of girls and gays approached me. Probably 12 of them.10, at the least. I sighed. I know exactly where this was going. And if looks could kill, I should probably be in my grave 3 seconds ago.
Damn, I smell trouble.
One of them walked towards me and lifted my chin up with her index finger. I shot her a look of death, warning her to get her dirty hand off of me. "Look, I didn't do anything to you, ok? Leave me alone, please. Thank you."
The girl smirked at me and looked at her 'friends' over her shoulder. And maybe that was the cue because they all laughed at the same time.
"Lumayo ka na kay Prince Blake."
Internally, I was reciting their speech:
Leave him alone. Blah blah. He doesn't deserve you. Blah blah. You're not worth it. Blah blah.You're just an American girl. Blah blah. You called him monster and you think that made you look good. Blah blah.He kissed you in a public place. Blah blah.And now you end up getting what you want. Blah blah. You used him for popularity. Blah blah.
And before I could hear the girl's screechy voice again, "Anong meron?" someone shouted sternly. Sure enough, it was Blake. The pack of dogs took a step back. The girl who has been talking to me just now gulped a few times before meeting Blake's blue eyes.
"Sorry, Prince Blake. Gusto lang naman kasi na—“
"Alis!"
"Prince—“
"Ano bang pakialam niyo sa’kin?!"
I tried to stop him but really there's no stopping Blake. None of them said anything more. I could see people staring at our direction. And just before I could drag Blake, someone shouted, "Sir Perez."
An officer stepped into the scene.
"Walang problema. Sige na, papasokna ako."
Popularity kicks in.
Blake slipped his hand into mine. I felt my cheeks blush. I should be used to it by now but we really don't normally do this in public, the PDA. Because you know, PDA for us either means Public Display of Argument or Public Display of Annoyance.
And that's our way of telling how much we love each other, we fuzz and fight, not hold hands in public. But maybe, this time, things will be a lot different. After the breakup and all.
Ok, so, the first ride we rode was the ever daunting roller coaster. With all the ups and downs and the screams and shouts, Blake and I didn't hold even a single reaction. We just looked straight ahead, bored, like we don't give a single shit. Well, we really don't give a shit because I've ridden a lot of roller coasters before and I think so did Blake. Though, there was this one time when I became so hysterical because Vincent or Billy or Luke, maybe?—I don’t know—brought nuts and bolts while we were riding a roller coaster and telling me that he found it unscrewed on my hydraulics.
I swear, I almost shit myself that time.
When we were back on the ground, we looked at each other and laughed so hard. We didn’t know why but it was so damn funny back there. He took my hand and started walking straight. My eyes caught the bump cars and I practically dragged Blake all the way there.
We both got different cars. So, here's what made the ride great, no one else dared to ride in the other cars so Blake and I were alone on the floor. People were taking pictures of us while we bumped each other's hoods and laughed our asses off.
Of course, being the competitive girl that I was, I wouldn't want him to be ahead of me. We would go round and round the floor with Blake trying to go after me and ending up bumping the railings instead.
"Catch me if you can!" I shouted proudly.
"No, you catch me," he shouted back with the same pride in his voice.
I reversed the car and ran after him instead of the other way around. I knew people were watching us in amusement but right now, nothing amused me like the fun Blake and I were having. When I was just a few inches away from bumping him, he turned left. Then I bumped on the railing instead.
Suddenly, I felt scared. I let go of the steering wheel and screamed. It was like a bad memory was trying to hunt me down. I couldn’t even distinguish what it was but it brought fear to me. And a lot of pain. And it had something to do with crash.
My eyes widened and I felt like I was stuck in the moment. I stopped breathing. I was just sitting there, hysterically screaming while trying to rake the memory from my brain. It may sound crazy but I was also trying to get it out of my mind. I covered my ears with my hands and started crying with my eyes closed.
I started shaking my head violently as I heard a loud crash, and I saw blood and felt my body go numb. I pressed my hands closer to my ears.
What's happening?
What's happening to me?
I slowly opened my eyes and realized I was still seated on the bump car. It stopped. And...and Blake was shaking my shoulders. I jumped out of the car and walked away. Blake followed me. Breathless, I continued walking. What was that? I kept on asking myself.
"Nicolle, Nicolle." Still not in focus, I faced Blake. "Nicolle," he said in a sad, low voice.
I looked straight in his eyes and practically grabbed him. I needed him now. I felt so scared. One minute, everything was so fun. The next, I feel so... broken. I held Blake even tighter. I was fighting my sobs to let air inside my lungs.
I couldn't breathe.
I felt Blake's hands around the back of my head as I pressed my head closer to his chest. "Blake, what was that?" I asked once I let go of him. Out the corner of my eyes, I saw people watching us like we're filming a movie, but what did it matter now?
“Ok ka lang? Anong nangyari sa’yo?” he asked.
I stepped back a little and explained, “I saw a crash… I saw a crash then...then there’s blood. Fire. There was a fire. Blake, what was that? Why does it scare me so much?”
He bent his head down and smiled a little. “Baka panaginip mo lang yon.” I looked at his blue eyes and willed myself to believe him. I wanted to believe him so badly but something tells me—No! Maybe it was just a dream. A familiar dream.A bad dream.
He cupped my face with his soft caring hands and gently brushed my tears away with his thumbs. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I apologized. I touched his hands. He nodded and kissed my forehead.
“Ok ka lang ha?” He let go of my face. I nodded as I wiped my face with the back of my hand.
“I need to go to the women’s room.”
“Ok. Tara.”
He smiled at me then took my hand.
***
It was a long silent walk to the restroom. The tension inside of me hadn’t yet died off. I have to get myself together.
“Hintayin na kita dito ha?”
I nodded and went inside.
Inside the cubicle, I could hear distinct voices of two females talking about…us.
“Girl, nakita mo ba si Prince Blake saka yung gf niya?”
“Si Nicolle yun diba?”
“Oo, girl. Akala ko nagbalikan nasilani Ms. Tracy.”
“Ewan ko nga eh. Pero, girl, nakita mo ba yung kanina? Sa may bump car station.”
“Anong nangyari kay Nicolle?”
“Nagsisisigaw siya. Para siyang nagwawala.”
“Girl, hindi kaya may sira yon?”
“Hay, naku girl. Bayaan na natin. Puntahan na lang natin si Prince Blake. Mag-isa lang siya sa labas ngayon eh.”
“Ok, let’s go.”
I pursed my lips and exhaled through my nose. I don’t have a mental disorder! I stood up and went out to wash my hands and on the mirror, I saw this statement written with lipstick that read: NO NO TO NICOLLE.
Hurriedly, I went inside a cubicle, got some toilet paper and wiped that away. What the hell did I ever do to those girls?! Was it my fault that Blake felt this way for me?! Since I came here, people started hating me. And I couldn’t take anymore of it. As if the weather here’s not hell enough, they had to judge me for the things that weren’t even illegal.
I fished my phone out of my pocket and realized I wasn’t bringing it. Great, I murmured. I recomposed myself before going out.
Once out, my eyes scanned the crowd to look for Blake. Then suddenly, a tall tanned, well fitted, good looking guy walked towards me. He smiled, making my eyebrows raised.
“Miss, anong—“
“Is there something I can help you with?” I asked.
He chuckled and I heard him whisper, “Englishera pala to eh.”
I cleared my throat.
“What?” he asked.
“I said is there something I can help you with?”
He chuckled yet again and as I was studying his face, he looked familiar. No, not Junichi-familiar.But another kind of familiar.
“Looks to me you’re the one needing help,” he countered.
And the way he talked, he sounded almost like an American. I studied his face even more and yeah, he even looked like an American.
“Actually…” I started, dragging the word and looking at him suspiciously. “I was looking for my boyfriend.”
“He left you, didn’t he?” He smirked at me and there was some evil in his tone. Something’s telling me, I should stop talking to him. I should probably follow my instincts.
“Hey, I remembered he told me to go to the roller coaster,” I reasoned out.
His smirk appeared more evil and his dark brown eyes started to creep me out. My heart throbbed faster.
“You look nervous.”
“I should probably go.”
He shrugged and smiled. Damn. He looked handsome in a devilish way.
He held his hand out. “I’m—“
“MATTHEW!” someone shouted.
So his name was Matthew? He rolled his eyes and our heads turned to the direction of the voice. I saw Blake walking towards us, a serious expression in his face. It may have been my imagination, but his hands were clenched into fists. Wait a minute, are these guys like mortal enemies or something?
Blake gripped my arm and dragged me behind him. Oh great, we’re in the middle of an amusement park jam packed with people (granted that it’s a weekday) and they’re gonna fight on something? I could feel the tension with just the stares they shot at each other.
Blake’s jaw was clenched just as tight as his fists. Then I noticed that the people near us stopped walking. Another shooting of film. I groaned internally but my irritation was washed away immediately by the anger in Blake’s voice.
“Matthew.”
The Matthew guy smirked, quite amused. “Blake.”
I inhaled then exhaled and stepped between the two. “Hey guys, look—“
“Eto yung pinalit mo kay Tracy?” he asked.
Blake gripped my arm and dragged me again not behind him but on his side. He kept his hand on my arm and I swear, I felt how hot the situation is.
The Matthew guy kept the badass smirk on his face as he walked towards me. Blake slid down his hand into mine while his free hand took hold of Matthew’s shoulder. “’Wag mo siyang lapitan,” he warned as he shot Matthew a stern, scary deadly stare.
I gulped.
Matthew stepped back a bit with his hands raised in mock surrender. He laughed. “Sorry. Hindi ko kasi mapigilan. Ganda niya eh.”
I held Blake’s hands even tighter, trying to calm him down. I had a feeling this is not gonna end well. I followed Matthew’s eyes and they were trained on our joined hands. He looked up to my eyes then smiled, revealing deep dimples that I hardly noticed before.
To my surprise, he pinched my cheek. “Nice meeting you.”
And again, to my surprise, Blake punched Matthew’s jaw. Everyone gasped in shock. Everyone including me.The hit was so hard, Matthew split his lips. Blake let go of my hand and shoved me behind him. He whispered something to Matthew, which I really didn’t get.
Matthew just chuckled in reply which was quite insulting on my part. God forbid, maybe Blake was backstabbing me.
With that, Blake took my hand and half walked half dragged me away, leaving a bleeding Matthew and dumbfounded crowd.
“What was that? Who was that?” I asked while we were walking away. He didn’t say anything for a long time, so I stopped and pushed his hand away.
“Blake.”
He faced me, his stern expression slowly wearing off. He sighed. “Yung lalaking yon, hindi mo dapat kinakausap.”
My eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “Why not?” I asked.
“Kase kuya siya ni Tracy.”
I was surprised to hear that. I never thought of Tracy having a big brother and was it just a coincidence or that guy is following me? Us? I shook my head. “You mean to say—“
“He’s dangerous, Nicolle. Hindi mo alam kung anong kaya niyang gawin para kay Tracy. Galit sa’kin si Vincent di’ba?’
I slowly nodded. “Yeah, he is.”
He bent his head down and took hold of my shoulders.”Tingin mo ba hindi yun sobrang galit sa’kin?”
Oh, I thought. Of course, he is, if he loves his sister.
“Ano sa tingin mo ang gagawin niya para makaganti sa’kin?”
“I don’t know.”
“Of course, he’ll hurt you.”
Of course, the best way and worst way to hurt your enemy is to hurt someone he values the most. And I was so freaking happy to know that I was that someone for Blake. And in a way, it’s a bit terrifying because hey! We’re talking about Blake Pierre Perez here.
You read that right. Blake Pierre Perez. News flash: Blake’s middle name was Pierre.
“Ok. So basically, he’s going after me?”
“Hindi ko naman hahayaan na mangyari yon eh.”
He offered his arm like a gentleman does and I linked my arm with his. I felt my face hot perhaps because of the faint blush on my cheeks and this smile! Oh this stupid smile that couldn’t seem to fade away.
“San tayo niyan?” he asked.
And I pointed. “There!”
“Photobooth?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Nothing.”
We waited for the queue and when it was our turn, I hurriedly went it. Blake inserted coins and pressed the button, and then he stepped accidentally on my foot. “Ouch!’ I shouted.
“Ano?” he shouted back.
FLASH.
I scowled at his question. “What?! What what?! You stepped on my foot. “
“Hindi ko naman sinasadya!”
FLASH.
I shook his shoulders. “Yes, you did!”
“Shut up!”
FLASH.
He turned his back on me which made me frown.
FLASH.
“Oh, face me and apologize!”
He did and I crossed my arms over my chest as he budged his head closer and closer to mine.
“Mukha mo!”
FLASH.
And then I realized…
“Oh.”
“Andyan na ang mga pictures naten.”
I grabbed the strip of photo paper and we both looked awful.
First picture: I was shouting. Blake’s mouth was hanging open.
Second picture: I was scowling. Blake was shouting.
Third picture: I was shaking him. Blake was frowning.
Fourth picture: I was frowning. Blake has his back on me.
Fifth picture: I was raising my eyebrow. Blake’s head was so close to mine that our noses are actually touching.
GREAT.
We looked at each other and laughed our asses off. The date went on. We’ve ridden different rides. Entered horror houses. Ate a lot of food. And so on and on and on.
It was a very perfect day that I never wanted it to end but still, it had to. The date finished with Blake driving me to my unit and telling me…
“Sana ganito tayo lagi.”
I smiled at him. “Promise,” I assured him.
He pecked my lips for just a second. Our lips touched each other perfectly and it felt incredible knowing that with this simple gesture, we were really for each other.
“Wanna come in?” I offered as I smiled and tucked my hair behind my ear.
He smiled back. “Pwede ba?”
I nodded and we both went inside. Zelle was already here. She was lazily lying on the couch, watching America’s Next Top Model. When she realized our presence, she sat up and beamed at me, and practically ran to give me one of those bear, suffocating hugs.
Then the next thing she realized was that Blake was with me. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped. “You…” she faltered as she pointed a finger to me and to Blake.
Seemingly, at a loss for words, Zelle decided to shut up and told us, “I’ll be at my room.”
Before she disappeared into her room, though, I heard him say, “Sabi ko na nga ba magbabalikan ‘yung dalawang yon eh.”
Blake and I exchanged looks and laughed at Zelle’s funny reaction. “Right. We haven’t told anyone we’re back to conquer the world,” I reminded Blake.
He sat on the couch as he searched for a good show to watch on TV. “Malalaman din nila.”
I sat beside him, leaning my head on his shoulder. I yawned. “God, I’m so tired,” I told him.
“Matulog ka na, bunny boo.”
I ignored him even though he teased me again with him calling me bunny boo. But I guess, it’s one thing I had to get used to.
I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep. I felt Blake’s arm snake around my shoulder as he kissed the top of my head.
“Good night, Nicolle Lee Perez,” was the last thing I heard him say before I drifted to sleep.