"What the hell? You're not supposed to be here, are you?"
The exclamation made Tamira turn around in surprise. She hadn't expected them to be here this quickly. She stopped rubbing the towel over her head to dry her hair and looked at her teammates – Alexia and Sonia – with wide eyes and an innocent smile.
"I didn't think we'd run into each other anymore, to be honest," she replied to her fellow striker of the women's team, hoping her words sounded as sinister as she wanted them to. "Never thought me and Neymar wouldn't be the only ones with the idea of a spontaneous training session tonight."
Alexia put down her training bag, Sonia following her example only a moment later. The two women exchanged a curious look.
"Right," Alexia said, raising an eyebrow while she opened her locker. "You did mention in the group chat that you trained with Neymar."
And oh so much more..., Tamira thought, glad for the unbeknowing heads up she and Neymar had received through the WhatsApp chat group the members of the women's team had opened up so many months ago.
The constant noise of received messages on her phone had alerted them that something was going on, and – after their showering interlude of fun – a quick scan of the chat had been enough to make Tamira hurry up, grab her stuff, give Neymar one last quick kiss on the lips and run into the women's locker room next door.
Their timing couldn't have been better – it had felt like only seconds later that Alexia and Sonia came into the room, finding Tamira fully clothed in her reserve outfit and with wet hair, ready to leave the premises after a training session. As if she hadn't just had sex in the shower with one of the members of the men's team.
"Yeah," Tamira said. "We just finished up when it got too dark to see anything anymore."
Alexia threw her a look, put off by that information. The sun had gone down quite a while ago. "It's completely dark outside."
Tamira tilted her head. "Which is why we've stopped playing. Which reminds me, how do you plan on–?"
"Dani got the key to the control room for the floodlights," Sonia answered matter of factly as she changed into her training gear. She shook her head and scoffed. "Sometimes I just don't get the privileges the guys get away with."
Tamira's eyes widened. "The guys are here as well?"
And here they'd thought it was just the girls coming to train! She swallowed, freezing for a moment when she packed her dirty clothes into her reserve training bag that she kept in her locker. Huh, Tamira wondered, with a sinking feeling. Where's my bra?
—–
Neymar grinned when he heard the door of the shower pulled open. "Did you forget something or did you want to– holy fuck, Dani, get the fuck out of here!"
He shut the door with force before Dani had even had the time to react properly. Then the older Brazilian laughed full-heartedly. "Oh God, I wish I could say it's nothing I haven't seen before, but we do share a locker room."
Neymar turned off the water, pulled the towel around himself and exited the shower, scowling at Dani. The other man leaned against the wall with a smug expression on his face, arms crossed over his chest.
"I'm not even going to ask who you were expecting because I think I already know," Dani said in a low voice, eyeing the open space leading to the locker room on the other side of the wall. "But just so you know, I didn't come here by myself." Then, louder, he shouted, "It's just Neymar, guys!"
"What up, Ney?" Marc shouted back.
Neymar pulled a hand through his wet hair. What the hell was going on? Marc was here too? He was just glad that his teammate apparently had decided to not come over. "Just a bit of training, Marc!"
"You still up for a bit of training with the girls?" It was Leo who asked.
Perfect, Neymar thought, irritated by the presence of even more teammates. Is the whole team here?!
"Oh, I'm sure he already diiiid," Dani said in a low sing-sang voice, so only Neymar could hear him.
Neymar scowled at his vain attempt to keep in his laughter. "Will you please shut up?" he hissed at Dani after he'd assured Leo that no, but another time, he just wanted to go home now – which wasn't even a lie; he so didn't want to be here anymore. "It's bad enough that you know! And we really want to keep the number of people knowing to a bare minimum. For now." Neymar frowned. "I think."
He grabbed the pile of clothes that he and Tamira had abandoned earlier, glad to find all signs of female company missing from it. There was a pang in his chest; this whole situation would be a lot easier and less embarrassing if everyone just knew about him and Tamira.
The talk. Right. Neymar blinked. They still hadn't really managed to talk. How did they always manage to avoid the important stuff?
Dani rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah, no need to be pissed. You can relax, okay? Secret's safe with me." What was the fun in knowing when he couldn't make fun of their ridiculous secrecy policy and antics?
Neymar was about to go back into the locker room, when Dani softly whistled. "But how about you hide this from sight? Since it's kind of a dead giveaway and all?"
Neymar turned around, finding Dani holding up a pink bra by one holster, grinning like an idiot. "Oh for fuck's sake!" Quickly, he grabbed the piece of clothing that Tamira had quite obviously missed and hastily squashed it beneath his clothes, making sure it would not be seen from anyone.
"Just be glad that it's me who came to investigate the running shower. I had a feeling, so say 'thank you Dani for your dirty mind!'" Dani said before they made their way back toward the locker room.
Neymar rolled his eyes, but patted his friend and colleague on the shoulder in gratitude nevertheless. He really was glad it had been Dani. He was even gladder it had been Dani five minutes later than would have been good for everyone. "Never thought I'd say this, but thank you for your dirty mind, man."
"Name your firstborn after me and we're even," Dani mumbled before Leo and Marc were in hearing distance again. "Dani's a great unisex name! And it's like Davi, only with the 'v' kinda upside down. Neat, huh?"
Neymar could only sigh heavily. The talk, he concluded. He and Tamira really needed to have the talk.
—–-
Quite a few members of the mixed gender team had agreed to this training session, all of them having come to the realisation that the official training schedule just wasn't enough and that Andrés and Sonia would talk to the trainers about it.
Neymar and Tamira eyed each other warily when they repeatedly had to answer the question of why they weren't up for training with the rest of them now. Only some, but not all of them, were ignorant to the rather odd explanation of them having already had an impromptu training – what with their history and all.
It seemed like a miracle that the two got out of the training compound fairly unscatched.
"I still can't believe we got away with this!" Neymar exclaimed when the two of them safely sat inside of Tamira's car on their way to her house.
"I still can't believe we got so lucky that no one walked in on us," Tamira mumbled, her heart racing even now. Her eyes scanned the heavy traffic they were in the middle of, fingers drumming impatiently on the steering wheel when she realised that they wouldn't make it over the crossing yet again; there were just so many cars in front of them.
The cars came to a halt when the lights turned red again and Tamira hit the brake, sighing heavily.
Neymar chuckled. "Come on, lighten up a bit! You have got to admit that was exciting! I mean, really! We just had sex at work. Shower sex. At work! Now that may come as a surprise to you, but I've never done that before." Tamira snorted at the pride in his voice. "That trumps sex on a club toilet, right? I think we've earned ourselves the duck. It's at least duck-worthy!"
Tamira shook her head, biting her lip to keep from smiling. She could feel his eyes on her, but she would be damned if she turned her head to meet his gaze. She just knew he would infect her with his excitement over the whole situation. She cleared her throat, glad that no one could eavesdrop on them in the safety of her car. "I wouldn't go so far as to call the locker room our workplace. Technically speaking that would be the field."
"Yes, but then I wouldn't get to say we fucked at work."
"Crude."
He rolled his eyes. "Prude."
She lifted an eyebrow, remembering that they'd had a similar conversation in Amsterdam. Which was why she said, "Far from it."
His eyes lit up with a playful gleam, his mind coming up with a scenario that got him excited. "So you're up for–"
Tamira's eyes widened. "Forget it, Ney!"
Neymar shrugged. "Hey, just putting it out there. Not that I'm actually serious about it, mind you. But it does only leave me with what I've said before, so don't you dare take this from me."
"Fine." Tamira grinned, finally giving in.
A moment of silence as they waited for the light to turn green. Then Neymar said, "We're a good team."
Tamira glanced over, locking eyes with him. He was right. They were a good team – they was just no denying it anymore. "We seem to be, huh?"
Neymar cackled, shaking his head, eyes not leaving hers when he put a hand over his heart. "'We seem to be'? Princesa, you have no idea what you're doing to me!"
A warm feeling overcame her and Tamira had a hard time not sighing like a lovesick puppy in this exact moment. God, she was hopeless, wasn't she?
A horn sounded, then another. Or maybe it was the same, Tamira couldn't care less. Neither of them reacted at first, then Neymar glanced toward the light briefly, grinning when he looked behind them afterwards. "You better drive before the guy behind us blows off his horn."
The rest of the drive toward Tamira's house was spent in amicable silence. Only after she'd parked in the garage, closed the door and bid Neymar to enter the house did her nerves start to act up again.
This was it. This was the time for their talk.
They sat down across from each other at the kitchen table after awkward moments of offering drinks and getting them ready. The house was blissfully empty – Emilia was still at casa Neymar, or so she'd written in her messages when it was clear Tamira wouldn't answer her phone. Tamira had made sure to keep it that way by quickly answering her mom that she was okay and home and that they'd talk about everything later.
So many talks to do. So little clue on how to do them.
Two glasses with juice sat in front of them on the table. It was something to hold on to.
"So...," Neymar began since Tamira only mastered the task of staring down at her juice.
"So...," she echoed after a moment. "Let's have that talk."
"Yeah. Let's."
Silence. Awkward silence. Yet again. Tamira squirmed in her seat, feeling utterly uncomfortable in her skin. Where to start? What to say? How to say it?
Neymar sighed heavily. His phone beeped in his pocket, but he ignored it; it was either his father asking where he was, or one of his friends asking how it was going. He didn't really have an answer to either question – on a metaphorical level, that was. He knew, physically, that he was at Tamira's house. He just didn't know where he was emotionally.
He cleared his throat. "Okay. This is usually the part where people... talk."
Tamira nodded. "Right. Let's talk. About... us." It felt strange saying that out loud. Mostly because she never dared think about there being a "them" in the first place – she'd never thought they could get this far. This... deep.
A soft smile appeared on Neymar's face. "I like the sound of you saying 'us'. That's a good thing, right?"
"Is it?" Tamira retorted, tilting her head. His straight 'yes' wasn't hesitant in the slightest, making her head start to spin – where was he taking all this confidence from?
"Mira, I don't know what you want to hear from me here, so I'm just gonna say what's on my mind and hope that you will do the same." When she didn't say anything in return, Neymar took a deep breath, nodding to himself as he looked down at his hands that were wrapped around the glass. "Okay then. They took us by surprise with their family photo talk. Pretty much pulled the rug under my feet, if I'm honest."
Tamira scoffed, glaring down at her own, as of yet untouched, glass of juice. "You didn't seem that fazed to me. Seems to me you were taking it pretty well."
"Just because I didn't look the part doesn't mean I wasn't shocked at their suggestion."
That comment made her look up, surprised to find him looking at her already. "You were?"
Neymar huffed, somewhat disbelieving she could ever think otherwise. "Of course I was! You and me... you can trust me when I say I don't want the world to see us as step siblings. And I really hope that's not what you want to be seen either."
"I don't," Tamira was quick to reply.
"Okay," Neymar said slowly. "I guess it's good that we agree on not wanting to be step siblings after our definitely not sibling-y interaction not an hour ago."
Tamira snorted, chuckling at his antics. "Good God, can you be any more single-minded?"
He shrugged. "Hey, I just wanted to highlight our non-sibling agreement with the hard facts." A sly grin appeared on his face. "And that pun was not intentional."
A disbelieving grunt. "Obviously not intentional."
"Kinda like us, though," he said after a moment of content silence. How did he do that anyhow?, Tamira wondered. Turn the awkward into comfort? Just like that? "We weren't– I mean. 'Us'. That wasn't intentional."
She took a deep breath and glanced around the room, gathering courage for what she felt she needed to finally say out loud. Her heart beat frantically; she could feel her pulse in her ears.
"No. It wasn't," she agreed. "But I'm really glad it happened. And I..." Another deep breath. "I don't know about you but I really don't want this to just... end."
He didn't say anything to that, so after a moment she finally dared to glance his way. His head was tilted and he gave her a condescending look. "Don't give me that, Mira. You do know about me. I don't want this to end either. And you know what else? I have feelings for you."
The admittance came out of nowhere for Tamira. She blinked, surprised to find him this open with her.
"Strong feelings. Those were definitely not intentional on my part," Neymar continued, as if he hadn't just turned her world upside down. "That first day of training, when you were officially introduced to us, I felt this... pull, I guess." He pulled a hand through his hair, searching for words to explain himself, smiling because he couldn't help himself. "I don't know what I did or if it even matters anymore. But we were fighting. Constantly. And I didn't know how to get through to you."
Tamira bit her lip, letting the guilt she felt consume her for a moment. She'd been a bitch to him, she realised. She'd constantly picked a fight, complained about him.
"I don't know why I was the way I was with you at first," she finally said softly. "Maybe I always felt... something. Maybe I felt that pull too." They looked at each other then, finding warmth and admiration in each other's eyes. "I just know that whatever this is that we're having, it's been scaring the hell out of me ever since that first drunken make-out session on that stupid party boat."
Neymar grunted, mind wandering to the pictures he still had on his phone. But now was not the time to tell her that he'd never deleted them like she had wanted him to. He was just happy to realise that she'd unknowingly admitted she could remember their kisses as well, no matter the state of drunkenness.
"And I didn't know how to handle it," she continued. "So I lashed out. And then Christmas happened and I was successfully freaked out."
"Really? I hadn't noticed," Neymar deadpanned, eyebrow raised in mockery.
She ignored his jibe – it was well deserved. "And then Amsterdam happened."
"And then Amsterdam happened," Neymar echoed solemnly. "You know, I thought this was just fun at first. A strange way to get along with you. A way to stop the bickering and arguments."
Tamira couldn't help but giggle. "It worked, in a way."
Neymar chuckled. "And it confused the hell out of everyone else."
Everyone else – the topic they needed to turn their attention to.
"Right," Tamira said, sobered up from the happy giddy feelings their words had caused. "How do we tell our parents that we have feelings for each other without making it weird?"
She didn't get an answer right away – not that she'd expected to – and when she gave Neymar an enquiring look, he was giving her a dazed one, eyes wide open. "What?"
Neymar shook his head, still dazed. "Nothing. Just... hearing you say you have feelings for me too just did something to me just now."
Self-conscious all of a sudden, Tamira pushed a hair strand behind her ear, looking down at the drink in front of her. From the corner of her eye she watched Neymar stand up and walk around the table. He crouched down next to her, grabbing her hand and searching her gaze.
"No don't shy away from me now," Neymar said firmly. Tamira turned her head, their eyes finally finding each other. He gave her a smile, hand lifting to rest on her cheek. His fingers caressed her skin. "We'll sort this out."
The utter look of determination in his gaze made her feel funny inside. Just like he'd said – it did something to her. "Okay," she softly said. "I hope we can."
He smirked, full of confidence, now that Tamira was finally on the same page – now that she was finally allowing herself to emotionally get caught up in this as much as he already was. Had been for quite some time now. "I know we can. And I really like to kiss you now."
She smiled brightly at that. "I'm not stopping you."
A second later, his lips claimed hers in a kiss that was by far the softest, sweetest and fullest with feelings that they had ever shared.
A gasp echoed through the kitchen, and Neymar smirked smugly, his lips leaving hers with the intention to tell her she could voice her approval of his kissing skills more often like that.
But when he found Tamira's eyes wide open in shock, he realised the gasp hadn't come from Tamira at all.
"What is going on here?" Emilia's frantic voice asked.
"That's what I like to know as well," Neymar pai's voice added.
----
Extra long update! :) So... what did you think of their talk? It's been long overdue, hasn't it? I hope I managed to convey enough about where they both stand... Please let me know what you think! :)
And about the very end of this part - I guess the decision to tell their parents has been taken from them, hasn't it? :)
Wish you all the best!
----
Published on: 6 April 2016