Natasha's POV
I was out in the woods yet again. Performing the painstaking process of dragging Steve and the supplies to my old room. Hopefully from there I could go further into the woods where the greenery was starting to get thicker and discover something to eat. My stomach was a constant reminder that I was slowly fading. My vision swam periodically and it was getting increasingly harder to swallow. My throat was sand paper, my legs were liquid, my lungs were raw from ash, my wounds throbbed probably from infection. Each step was a struggle and my knees threatened to give out on me. I had been walking since dawn and it couldn't be long until I reached my destination, at least I hoped so. I had taken the liberty, earlier today, to melt some snow in Steve's shield, and investigate the remains of the facility. I had found an object that worked sort of like a canister ,and after scrubbing it with a ripped off piece of sheet and water, I was now able to transport a small quantity of water.
Gasping I paused and slumped against a tree. Pulling out the canister from the napsack I had made from the sheets I eyed it thoughtfully. Popping the make shift cap I peeked inside to see how much water was left. There wasn't much, barely enough for one drink. I was about to down it when my gaze fell on Steve. He had yet to move an inch, the only reminder that he was alive was the very slight rise and fall of his chest, but most importantly his faint heartbeat. Pausing I knelt next to him and opened his mouth. With a little help from me the rest of our water dissapeared. Sighing I tucked the canister away and began the journey again. Eventually the clearing appeared and I heaved Steve and the supplies to my old room. It was strange to bring him here. This had always held only one person, me. As soon as he was tucked safely away inside, I left, carrying the napsack, metal rod, the hand gun, and a few other small items. I needed to find food and fast.
Picking a direction that lead away from camp I began weaving through the woods yet again. The surrounding area slowly faded to green the further I went. There was still a thick layer of snow that had covered the ground the previous night but you could see definitive signs of life. I imagined that before I had woken up after the explosion, the snow had dissapeared, until a blizzard rolled in and covered me and Steve. Flies buzzed about my head and tried to land in my wounds, on multiple occasions I felt the painful sting of their bites. With my stomach snarling I pressed on scouring the ground for tracks, I finally found some when I came across a particularly snowy expanse of ground. There were prints sunken in the soft powder that were easy to see. They appeared to be rabbit tracks belonging to a medium sized winter hare. My stomach whimpered in agreement. Needing to be more careful I crouched and began my pursuit of the animal.
After many agonizing minutes I stumbled across the rabbit as it nibbled some grass sticking up from the snow. It was unsuspecting, it's nose snuffling the ground, completely innocent. Sighing I raised the gun and was about to fire when something in me cringed. Closing my eyes I pressed the trigger and the gun crackled. The sound was loud and reverberated painfully in my skull. It was all to familiar, bringing unwelcome thoughts drifting into focus. Running through the facility halls with bullets ricochetting around me. James collapsing to the ground in a pool of his own blood. The first man I ever killed, a bullet plugged into his brain. The reactor room and the roar of thunder from the guns. Shaking I hastily dropped the weapon to the ground. Just looking at it made my gut squirm and the thought of picking it up again was almost unbearable. Looking quickly away I walked towards the killed rabbit. Picking it up I did what I always did after I hunted an animal.
"Thank you for your sacrifice. May your life be honored, and your spirit blessed." It was simple, and something I had picked up from Clint. He told me to always respect the life of your kill. Unlike humans animals were innocent, without dirt on their records, without foul play. Tucking the rabbit away in the napsack I headed back down the path to where the gun rested. Gingerly picking it up I tucked it away as well. I could still hear the sound of the bullet leaving the chamber, the feel of the gun and it's back lash. Trudging back the way I had come my vision blacked for a brief moment before coming back albeit blurry. Stumbling I slammed hard into a tree trunk and struggled to keep my legs under me. With a small whimper I walked on. Somewhere along the way I finished the journey, everything seemed to have happened quickly, all of it was a blur in my head. That was bad, I was starting to become disoriented. Having finally arrived back at camp I tossed aside the bag. My motor skills were becoming more difficult to control and my ability to think clearly was slowly slipping.
Pulling out the rabbit I began skinning it with a make shift knife I had crafted earlier in the morning. Taking a brief pause in my work I collected some snow in Steve's shield and began a fire to boil it. Part of me felt bad for using such a patriotic symbol as a boiling pot but the other part didn't care. When the rabbit was skinned I tossed a few pieces in with the water, the rest I pierced with the metal rod and held over the fire. It was a slow process, the rabbit cooking, the skin sizzling, fat dripping into the fire, all of it made me even more hungry. When the rabbit was finally done I yanked it from the fire and without thinking I hastily plucked a piece off the rod. My fingers burned fiercely and I dropped the food into the snow. After a moment I picked it up placing it hesitantly in my mouth. It was warm, a beautiful contrast to the frigid air, the flavor was strong and though I wanted to savor it I quickly moved on to the next piece. I ate nearly all of it before I regained my composure. My hunger had been satisfied if only for a moment, I might need the remaining strands of meat for traps, and so I grudgingly left the meat to dry.
Grabbing the water canister I emptied some of the contents from the shield into it. Steve wouldn't be able to chew anything and getting him to chew something would be dangerous, he could choke. However the few pieces of meat I had placed in the boiling water had some of their nutrients extracted by the heat. All in all I was basically feeding him rabbit broth. Propping his head up I opened his mouth. Very carefully I poured some of the contents into his mouth before pinching his nose, closing his mouth, and quickly tipping his head back. I repeated the process six more times. By now night had fallen but I ventured out into the woods to set up a few traps to check in the morning.
With the extra meat in my hand and the bloodied skin of the rabbit I searched for the most ideal spots to set up snares. The cold was beginning to press against me, shivering I knelt awkwardly in the snow. Taking a few strands of wire I began the process of making a snare. It took me much longer than it should have, and though I would have liked to have made more, I wasn't sure I could do it. Gritting my teeth I moved on. One more then you head back. The snow crunched beneath my feet and the sound seemed to be much louder than it should have. Kneeling yet again I set to work on the second snare. There was another large sound of crunching snow. Only it wasn't me this time, I hadn't moved. IT was getting louder and quicker. Closing my eyes I sucked in a deep breath. Upon finishing the knot I had started, I leapt to my feet and searched through the darkness.
The sound was all around me, a whirl wind of noise, until the creator of it finally showed itself. Two glowing eyes broke the shroud of darkness. They were familiar to me. Another set appeared, then another, and another. It was just as I remembered, the same pack of wolves that had traumatized me as a kid. The ones that had attacked me during a training session, they seemed to recognize me as well, because when they had all encircled me the leader snarled. The last time we had an encounter it hadn't gone well for them, but this time there were more. For a moment I believed they had tracked me down, crawled fro my nightmares, just to hunt me again. Then I realized the bloodied rabbit skin and the trail of blood I had left in my wake. How could I have been so stupid? They had tracked me for quite some time now. Carefully I tossed the object of their interest away from me and into the snow next to the alpha. He took interest in it, sniffing the skin but finding nothing he liked. The wolf snarled again baring his teeth and snapping in my direction. I knew how this went down I had experienced it before.
Glancing over my shoulder I searched for a way out. There wasn't a big enough space, even then I wasn't well enough to out pace them. My heart beat faster leaping up into my throat, I was cornered, they were hungry, their hunting grounds probably charred or covered in snow, I was the only live of flesh they had sent in a long time. Their ribs were prominent even against their fur. I searched the ground for something I could use to protect myself, all I saw was snow and darkness. I took a timid step backwards but the wolves behind me growled and tensed. The alpha took a step towards me and the others fell in. I tensed ready for when they lunged, it happened just like that. The alpha sprang forward. I was able to twist out of his way only to be pushed into the snow by a massive fur ball.
Drool dripped onto my skin as a nasty wolf maw threatened to close around my neck. I slammed a fist in its open mouth, trying to shove my fist down its throat. It yelped releasing me and I rolled away as the others snapped at me. A mouth of razor sharp teeth latched onto my calf pulling me back into the snow. I rolled onto my back and tried to kick it away but another mouth clamped onto my foot. I screamed as it's teeth ground my bones and shredded my skin. Claws dug into my back and I searched the ground for anything to help. Digging my fingers in the snow I clasped a rock. Spinning I slammed it against a wolf sending it limping away. Thrashing I struck out again and again yelps greeting my ears. But each time I hit one they would bite or claw me. My screams mixed with their whimpers. It was just like when I was fifteen all over again. Alone in the woods with no one nearby to help.
When I had managed to disorient the wolves I clawed myself into a standing position. I couldn't put weight on my one foot at all and my vision was blurred by something moist. To my satisfaction a few of the wolves lay unconscious in the snow but many still remained. The leader howled angrily and the others dispersed into the trees leaving the two of us alone.
"I see you've come back." I spat. "Go on then. Kill me!"
He lunged slamming hard into my side and sending me flying. His jaws clamped onto my shoulder, desperate I clamped a hand around his throat and squeezed. Pushing back on his neck I ripped his mouth from my skin with a strangled cry. Just as quickly as I had pried him off his paw raked my cheek. It was a flurry of pain and blood as I tried to fend him off. Slamming a fist into his nose he shook his head disoriented, angry I lunged rapping my arms around his neck. He snapped catching my arm in his mouth and shaking me like a rag doll. I could hear the snapping of my bones but couldn't feel the pain. Still gripping his neck I squeezed hard. Seconds ticked by in my head as he continued to struggled but slowly his fighting stopped. Exhausted my grip slipped and the wolf skunk away. Glancing over his shoulder there was a different kind of gleam in its eyes. Respect, just like before, I was strong just ask was back then, I had held my own just like back then. With a flick of the tail he turned and scampered off into the dark.
Panting I slumped back into the snow. I tried to assess my injuries but I couldn't tell how badly I was hurt, I felt numb. I was aware that I was bleeding but I had no idea how much. Gasping I struggled to move, I had to get back to Steve, but as I tried to drag myself through the snow I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it back. My foot was several injured, my arm was broken, and a few of my ribs were pressing angrily against my sides. I couldn't help but laugh bitterly at my misfortune. The world was throwing everything it had at me and somehow I wasn't dead. Somehow I was still breathing and I was sure it was just a cruel joke. Hot tears slipped down my cheeks and I mentally resolved myself to spend the night out here alone in the cold. If I was lucky I would freeze to death. If I was lucky.