4 days.
That's how long Aiden has been "missing" No one other than Kelsey and Hailey seemed to notice, besides me. Really, they were only aware because I told them. Neither of them seemed concerned, but for some reason I was. I didn't know why I felt this way but I did and my mind has been stuck on him since. It wasn't like I was head over heels for him, I was just concerned.
I didn't like him but I didn't want him hurt, although I couldn't do anything to prevent that. Whatever he was doing and wherever he was, I'm sure he's doing just fine. He's Aiden. No one screws with Aiden.
"Where's your boyfriend?" I turned back to look at the brunette boy stationed behind me.
"He isn't my boyfriend, Jake."
"Tell that to him." There was a hint of jealousy and I couldn't figure out why. Jake was jealous of the attention I was receiving, but why?
"I don't know where he is. He hasn't reached out to me since Saturday. Quite frankly, I don't care. Whatever he chooses to do with his life is his business." That was a lie. I did care and I was pissed at myself for caring a little too much.
Jake's face lit up into a smile, "Well if he isn't your boyfriend, you should go on a date with me tonight."
I was at a loss for words.
"A date?"
"A date."
"I'm sure you'd rather take someone else." I didn't mean to offend him but he flinched a little by my words.
"Not everyone is out to get you, Alison. I just want to get to know you. I like you," He paused for a moment, "Plus, my sister would probably drown me if I screwed you over." My teeth chewed lightly on my bottom lip and I let out a little laugh, which caused a grin to widen his face.
I took a moment to think about his proposal. Jake was a great guy: he was smart, funny, honest and undoubtedly attractive, but the one thought that made me want to decline was the unpredictable asshole. Aiden. When was he going to come back? What would he do if he found out about Jake?
Most importantly, what would he do to me? I wanted to believe that Aiden wouldn't hurt me. The comfort I felt with him last Saturday was real but I had to remember that he is Aiden and Aiden isn't a nice guy. I've never seen him hurt a girl before and I'd like to believe he wouldn't, but I didn't know Aiden.
But, I wanted to.
He didn't seem so awful when we were together and that leads me to think that he isn't completely dark inside. Maybe, he puts on a masquerade like me. Or maybe that's just who he really is, heartless.
"So?"
"I'll have to think about it." I shot him a quick small smile as the bell rung.
"How was school?" Lily passed the salad bowl around the table.
"It was fine." I gave a bland answer, letting Hailey explain the events of her day to her parents. I tuned out after she mentioned cheer. She must have been talking for a while because by the time she was done talking everyone had been done eating, except for me.
"Are you finished, Dear?" Lily reached for my half-full plate, I nodded my head and thanked her. Hailey sat with a hard look.
"She hasn't been eating." Hailey's sudden accusations caused something to boil inside me. Lily turned around.
How could she?
Why would she?
"I'm gonna go catch up on homework. Goodnight, love you guys." I smiled at my parents before retreating to my room before either of them could say anything. I knew they'd eventually talk to me but I couldn't listen to that right now.
"You've gotta stop thinking about him, Alison."
Hailey stood at the door to our bedroom.
"I'm aware."
"Kelsey told me about Jake. You're being blind, Jake actually likes you." Her words were a little too harsh and I couldn't figure out why. She never spoke to me like that. And after what just happened, I should be the one being harsh to her.
She let out a breath and sat across from me on her bed, "Aiden doesn't like you, don't let him fool you. You went on that date and it's over with. He's hot, but Jake actually likes you." How could she be rooting for Aiden last Saturday and now talking like she hated his guts.
"I'm definitely aware Hailey. You don't have to keep repeating it." My tone heated up.
"You're stupid if you choose him over Jake."
It was like she was trying to make me feel guilty.
"I'm not choosing anyone! I don't want either of them." Why were we arguing about stupid boys? It wasn't like us.
"Jakes a nice guy, I would cherish a guy like him." She held onto the last part with sincerity.
Oh.
Hailey liked Jake.
And she was mad at me because he didn't like her back.
"Are you seriously mad at me because a guy didn't pick you for once?" This whole thing was ridiculous. Hailey was so selfish. Her face scrunched up for a moment before she shot back a reply.
"Oh screw you. I'm sorry that you don't allow people to actually have a conversation with you. You're so uptight and blind! You are so worried about everyone hating you to realize that no one cares about you, Alison!" She screamed back, clearly not thinking before she spoke. But she still said it, and it hurt to hear those things from her.
Regret and guilt devoured her as she immediately tried to grab my hand, "No, don't touch me." The tears welled in my eyes, I didn't want her to see me cry.
I rushed to the door, "I'll be back later."
Luckily Lily and David were still in the kitchen so I didn't have to worry about them saying something to me about leaving this late. I didn't know where I was gonna go at first but then I decided on a spot where Hailey couldn't find me.
My old truck shut off and I headed for the trees with Hailey's words still sown inside my mind. Even the girl I considered to be my sister, admitted that no one gave a damn about me. Of course, I already knew that but hearing it from her made the reality of it hurt even worse.
My body crumbled against the forest floor. My eyes stared at the bright moon, "I miss you guys." I locked my fingers around my Mom's necklace.
"I miss you guys so fucking much." My attention drifted to the cliff and I focused on the sound of rushing water. What would it feel like to be free? I imagined my body flying through the air before being swept into the water.
As much as I wanted too, I couldn't. The guilt of hurting my parents was too much to bear, but that didn't keep me from wondering towards the edge. I just wanted to see it. My arms lifted into the air and the breeze blew around me.
I had only a few seconds of peace before someone invaded.
"What the fuck are you doing?" The sudden harsh voice made me jump and wobble a little, causing me to stumble forward, "Jesus fucking Christ Ali!" Aiden's big hands pulled me into him and his arms snaked around my waist. I almost fell. I almost fell to my death and I wasn't scared.
I was completely lost.
"Are you crazy?" His voice changed, it sounded desperate almost.
I didn't know why he was here until I remembered him telling me that he comes here to think. His arms were still hooked around me and I buried my head into his chest, and all my tears came crashing out like the water below. Surprised to my sudden breakdown, Aiden tensed up but his arms didn't move, to which I was glad. I didn't want him to let me go because if he did I might just fall apart. He held me as I cried my heart out.
My stomach swirled,
There was that stupid feeling again.
After a few moments Aiden pulled back slightly to see if I was okay. He stared at me for a moment before a dark look settled on his face, "Please tell me you weren't going to jump." His voice was back to being rough.
"Of course I wasn't. I just wanted to see the water and you scared me." His green eyes searched mine to see if I was lying but I played it off well enough.
"I'm sorry, why were crying? Why are you here?" My heart stung a little when he asked why I was here. He didn't want me here. Who was I to come here anyways. It's his spot.
"I honestly didn't know why I came here, I just needed to think. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have- I just- ugh, I don't know." The tears started forming again.
"I'm sorry it's your spot."
Aiden rolled his eyes at me.
"Ali, it's okay, I don't care that your here. I'm just glad your okay. You can come here whenever you want, just be careful and don't jump." Aiden held sincerity in his voice but a little humor at the end of his sentence. He made a joke, and I laughed. I almost died, cried my eyes out in front of Aiden and now I was laughing?
The breeze picked up a little which caused the remaining tears to fall down my face. Aiden wiped my wet cheeks. His hand settled on my cheek. Our eyes held each other and there was something different about his. His eyes seemed genuine.
He inched closer which caused me to hold my breath. His eyes drifted to my lips but mine stayed focused on his face. He watched my lips for a second before looking back into my eyes, "Can I kiss you Ali?"
My breathe rushed out and my heartbeat picked up. His green orbs stayed on mine and his eager lips inches closer, but he didn't connect them with mine until I gave him permission.
"Yeh." He didn't even wait a second after I said that. He crashed his lips against mine and the world around us seemed to disappear. I knew this was wrong but in this moment I didn't give a damn who he was. I needed someone and he was the only one here, but for reasons I had yet to realize.
And from now on, Johnson's cliff wasn't his and it wasn't mine,
It was ours.