CHAPTER 36
NICOLLE'S POV
“We’re back together.”
My smile widened. It was so obvious that I was just faking it; that I was just masking the pain behind this stupid smile. They’re back together. Mission accomplished, right? This was what we intended in the first place, to help him get Tracy back. And now he did.
But why did it hurt so much?
Oh yes, I remember. It hurt so much because I love him; because I’m hopelessly in love with him and there he was now, back together with the girl he used to love.
It would only take a matter of time before he completely forgets about me.
“Oh, hey,” I managed to croak out, forcing myself to sound so cheerful.
“Hi, Nicolle,” Tracy greeted me back. The way she spoke insulted me. The way she smiled insulted me. Heck—just her existence insulted me.
Damn it! Why am I angry at her? It was me, right? I was the one who broke up with Blake. I was the one who cheated on Blake with Andrew; his best friend. I was the one who broke his heart. And here was Tracy, trying to fix it for him. Now, the right thing to do was be glad because someone was fixing Blake; someone was keeping Blake from not losing his mind.
From not losing his reason.
“O sige, una na kami,” Andrew told them.
Before we could step another step, though, Blake took hold of Andrew’s shoulder and looked at him. “Paps,” he called, hatred and menace palpable in his tone. The way his jawline was tight, I could say that he was trying so hard to hold back himself from throwing fists at Andrew.
After all, I’m not too dense to not know that he’s still into me.
And I’m not too stupid to not know that I’m very much still into him.
“Bakit hindi tayo mag double date?” he asked, his voice full of poison and challenge and amusement. What he was amused about in this situation, I don’t know. He smirked.
Andrew shrugged his hand off as he squeezed my hand tighter. “Paps,” he replied, his voice equally challenging and covered with venom. “Ano bang—“
“No, it’s okay,” I interjected, cutting Andrew off mid-sentence. “Double date. It’s not gonna hurt, anyway.”
“Right,” Tracy countered. “It’s not going to hurt.” She looked at me sharply, a smirk was ghosting her lips.
Blake un-slung his hand around Tracy and wrapped it around her waist, instead, pulling her closer. My heart throbbed in ache. Why did he have to do this to me? Is he really planning to hurt me this much?
I gulped as the fake smile dropped into a scowl when Blake said, “Tara, babe.”
Tracy giggled and together they made a beeline towards a table. Andrew only looked at me apologetically. “I’m sorry,” he said as he gave me a short smile.
I smiled. “Come on, nothing to be sorry about.”
“Let’s just get out of here, okay?” he offered.
I frowned. “No. Let’s stay. It’s not like he’s going to—“
“Hey love birds! Dyan na lang ba kayo?” Blake shouted, loud enough for everyone in here to hear.
I sighed and squeezed Andrew’s hand tighter. A shudder ran across my spine as we took the first step. My breath hitched and my heart beat uncontrollably. My lips were quivering. My head was pounding.
When we sat on the table where the two were seated, I smiled at both of them which they both returned with a nod. “So, anong gusto niyo?” Blake asked, not a second after. “Ako na magbabayad.”
“Ako na lang, Paps,” Andrew countered.
“Ako na,” Blake insisted.
“Ako na.”
Tracy rolled her eyes as her eyes darted to the one speaking, either on Andre or on Blake. I, on the other hand, just kept quiet while I tried to catch my breath and think of anything else other than this pounding head.
After a few minutes of staring at each other with so much charge and tension—I was even waiting for electricity to go off between the two of them—Blake finally gave up and told Andrew, “Sige, paps, ikaw na. Ikaw naman bida eh. Ikaw naman lahat eh.”
Only a fool would not know the real meaning of Blake’s words. And none of us here is a fool.
Andrew only responded with a glare, magnificent enough that it could kill anybody if looks could. Wanting to break the tension, I stood up and told them, “I’m going to the rest—“
“No, actually, we are,” Tracy inserted. I could almost hear the smirk in her voice.
I pressed my lips together in a tight line as I still fought the headache that was killing me. Before I could utter another word, however, Blake took hold of Tracy’s shoulder. “Babe, dito ka na lang. Para may kasama ako,” Blake excused, softly.
“Babe, ‘wag kang mag-alala. Hindi naman ako sasaktan ni Nicolle eh, diba?” she countered as she shot me a glance, before then turning her eyes back to Blake who was darting looks around the area, searching for another excuse to keep Tracy in this table.
I looked at Andrew who was shaking his head discreetly, worry palpable in his mien. “Sige, Tracy, una ka na,” Andrew offered.
Tracy only giggled and slapped Andrew’s shoulder playfully when she stood up. “You must be joking, A,” he told Andrew—who, apparently, was named ‘A’ by Tracy.
“Let’s go then,” she told me as she linked her arm around the crook of mine. Over my shoulder, I looked at the two guys who were frowning. My eyes stopped by to look at Blake. He shook his head and for a fraction of a millisecond, we held our gaze.
Tightening her hold on me, Tracy led us the rest room.
Once we were in, the girls who were there smiled at ‘Miss Tracy’ as they put it. And after greeting their princess, their eyes turn to me. They only twitched their lips and went out.
“Let go,” I ordered Tracy.
“Oh, sorry,” she mocked apologize and let go of my arm.
Without uttering another word, I hurried to the nearest empty stall and locked it. I bowed my head down and threw up as I wrapped my arms around my stomach. As I was puking, I heard Tracy chuckle evilly. Right, laugh at someone who was throwing up, why not?
I flushed the upchuck and wiped my mouth with the toilet paper.
“You okay in there, preggy?” she asked.
I gently rubbed my temples with my middle and index fingers. Calm down and don’t let her got to your nerves, Nicolle. Calm down and try not to cut her head off. Since I was having a hard time breathing, I decided not to respond to her insult. My hands travelled down to my chest and I gently pressed it.
I breathed in and out over and over again. Weakly, I slumped down the floor and closed my eyes as the headache doubled. My ears were hot and so was my face. And I would bet my life that my lips were rather colorless. I bit my lip to stifle the scream that was threatening to come out my throat.
I could not take this anymore.
My eyes were teary.
My head hurts so much. It was like it was splitting into two parts. I was too weak to speak and ask Tracy for help. Shit, who the hell was Tracy?
Dad… Mom… Vincent…
I need the three of them right now. Slowly, my knees went closer to my chest. I hugged my legs closer and closer with every passing second. My head was hurting. My head was hurting a lot.
I opened my eyes sluggishly and feebly. My blinking was slow and my vision was blurred. “H-help,” I tried to say but my voice was gone and if I force myself to speak, I would just lose air.
I could not breathe.
“Hey, preggy,” an unfamiliar voice said.
I shook my head. Who on earth was that? And what’s she doing in our home? I looked around, moving my eyes only. I was in a public restroom and it was hot. Why was it hot in New York? Is it summer? No, I don’t think it’s summer and even if it was, the temperature would not be rising this high.
Macey and Billy… I should call them.
But I could not move. I was losing all my energy.
“Hey, Nicolle. Get out of there! What are you doing?!”
There was the unfamiliar voice again. No. Actually, it was familiar. I know that voice. How could I forget? I…
Stop thinking, I ordered myself. My head pounded even more.
Pain.So much pain.
I let out a breath and breathed it in again.
I counted one, two, three. One.Two.Three.Four. Shit. I’m passing out. One.Two.Three.Four. Fi—why am I crying? One.Two.Three.
That’s when someone knocked at my door loudly.
“Nicolle! Nicolle! Anong ginagawa mo dyan?!” a male voice asked.
I found myself smiling at the voice. But why? I don’t even know who he was. Why was I smiling?
“Nicolle, are you still up?” another male voice asked.
I nodded and with no voice, I said, “Barely,”
“Shit, Tracy, anong ginagawa mo dyan?! Tumawag ka ng—kahit sino! Dalian mo!” the first voice shouted at whoever Tracy was.
“Nicolle, it’s Andrew.”
Andrew? I don’t know any Andrew.
“Andrew, tabi dyan, sisirain ko na ang pinto!”
“Gago ka ba?! Paano pagka bumagsak ‘yan kay Nicolle?!”
The knocking stopped. The world stopped spinning. Everything was dark.
***
“Tracy, ano ba kasing ginawa mo sa kanya?”
“Wala akong ginawa, A. Pumasok siya sa stall tapos narinig ko siyang magsuka.”
“Eh bakit hindi siya sumasagot?! Sabihin mo nga Tracy, anong ginawa mo sa kanya.”
“Blake, ‘wag mo naming sigawan si Tracy.”
“Buntis siya,” the Tracy girl said coldly.
“WHAT?!” both A and Blake shouted.
“Blake, may… may—“
“Wala!”
Silence.
“Wala naming nangyari sa inyo di’ba?!” the same guy asked
“Wala!”
“’Yung totoo!”
“Wala nga! I respect Nicolle as much as you do. Maybe more!”
That was when I opened my eyes. I looked around and noticed that I’m in some infirmary. I turned my head to the two guys who were sizing each other up. Their fists were curled as they stared into each other’s eyes. Meanwhile, the Tracy girl was sitting in a corner, frowning.
“H—hey,” I croaked and sat up weakly.
“Nicolle,” a blonde guy called as he sat on the edge of my bed. By his voice, I could tell he was Blake.
“Nicolle, you okay?” the other guy, A, asked. He stood up on the side of the bed.
“Yeah, hi, preggy,” the girl in the corner said.
I frowned. “Could you explain who you all of you are?” I asked as I studied the three of them carefully. I mean, seriously, who would want to wake up in some infirmary where three people know who you are and yet none of them even looked familiar to you.
All of them seemed to stop breathing for a fraction of second. “What’s she talking about?” The Tracy girl asked.
“What are you talking about?” I countered as I raised an eyebrow at the girl.
“Nababaliw ka na!” she shouted at me.
Shit. Why are people speaking in Filipino? Are these my friends? Was I involved in some kind of a freak accident and I suddenly suffered from amnesia resulting in me not remembering anything?Or anyone—for that matter.
They only looked at me, still in shock. “You mean,” A started. “You me—“
“Tracy, lumabas ka muna,” the Blake guy ordered the girl.
She only frowned. Crossing her arms over her chest, she stood up. “What?!” she complained. “Bakit mo ‘ko pinapalabas?! Babe, what the hell is this?!”
Babe? They are together? They are together, so what? But why do I have this feeling of pain, of hurt. This feeling that I could only feel when I’m down at the dumps. I don’t know. This feeling like… I’m left.
“Sige na, Tracy. Lumabas ka muna,” A requested calmly.
Stomping her foot, she exited the room.
I looked at A, who forced a smile when his eyes landed on me. When the Blake guy stood up and walked to the side of the bed, he held out his hand to me. In reply, I waved my hands dismissively in the air. “Wait. Wait! I’m not touching anyone until you tell me what I’m doing here,” I managed to say with my new found energy.
“Until you tell me who you are,” I added.
“Nicolle, you don’t remember us?” A asked. “I’m Andrew,” he pointed out.
“Anong nangyari sa’yo? Bakit hindi mo na maalala?!” Blake shouted.
Slowly, I stood up and walked to the other side of the room, away from them. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I told them.
A second after, Blake was already standing behind me. He took hold of my arm and spun me aroundto face him. “Hey!” I protested, offended.
“Blake!” the Andrew guy shouted.
Now, he gripped both of my arms and shook me violently. “Bakit ba?! Bakit ba nakakalimutan mo kami?! Ayokong makalimutan mo ‘ko, Nicolle! Tandaan mo! Tandaan mo ‘ko, please!”
My mouth dropped open as I saw tears forming in his eyes. “W-w-wait,” I faltered. “What are you talking about?” I asked as I unleashed my arms from his grasp.
Andrew came to the rescue and stood between Blake and me. “Blake, ano bang ginagawa mo?” he asked.
“No, actually, what are you two doing?” I asked both of them as my frown deepened.
Blake sat on the floor, his head down. Andrew, on the other hand, ignored my question. “You don’t remember us, do you?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t. But—“ I bit my lip. “I don’t know. You… you both are familiar now. And even that girl.”
Andrew opened his mouth but before he could speak, though, Blake stood up and pushed Andrew aside so I was facing him instead. “Naiintindihan mo naman ako, diba?” he asked.
I nodded as an answer.
“Pero hindi mo ako maalala?”
A lump formed in my throat as I scrutinized his face intently. Blake. Blake. I closed my eyes and touched my forehead, forcing myself to remember; to recognize him. Blake. Andrew. Tracy.
Who are these people?
Blake. Blake. Blake. Deal.Uh… Andrew. Tennis. Blake. Boyfriend. Andrew. Best friend. Blake. Monster. Andrew. Cupid. Blake. Andrew. Tracy. Tracy. Ex-girlfriend. Tracy. Bitch.
My head was aching again as I raked my mind for more details.
Blake. Andrew. Tracy. And some others—Luke, Krungy, Zelle.
When I opened my eyes, I saw a blonde guy with fake black eyes, staring at me keenly; expectantly.
My head hurt so much, I felt like everything was spinning. I lost my balance, and thankfully, Andrew caught me. He helped me get on the bed. I lied there, just thinking and remembering.
Blake Perez. Andrew Bailey. Tracy Hawkings. Samantha Perez. Luke Sy. Zelle Lopez.
I closed my eyes and with aching head, I drifted back to sleep.
***
When I opened my eyes, I felt better. I removed the blanket covering my body and sat straight up. I stretched my arms above my head and that was when I noticed that I was not in my room. “Zelle?” I asked.
But no one answered. Carefully, I stood up and tiptoed to the door. I was not kidnaped, I wished. When I held the doorknob, it twisted by its own and in came Blake.
My lips quivered. “B—Blake,” I croaked.
I could not look in his dark, angry eyes. “Nicolle,” he said, eyeing me from head to toe. “Okay ka na ba?”
I nodded. “What am I doing here?” I asked, avoiding eye contact.
“Tatawagin ko lang si Andrew,” he told me, quite coldly.
He left. I sat on the bed and waited for someone to come in. And someone did come in, but not who I was expecting. It was Tracy.
She locked the door and eyes me from head to toe, not with worry but with malice and menace.
“You’re pregnant, right?” she asked.
I was taken aback by her question and seemingly, my tongue could not move.
“Nagsuka ka. Tapos nahilo-hilo ka. Tapos nahimatay ka. Anong gusto mong isipin ko? May cancer ka?!” she snarled.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, irritated. “I’m not pregnant. I’ve never even been—“
My statement was cut off by a knock on the door. Tracy rolled her eyes then narrowed it. “Look, American Girl, get away from my Blake, okay? Or I’ll make your life miserable than hell,” she warned.
I felt my mouth sour with the urge to poke her eyes out. My fists curled. “Look, Blake is all yours!” I shouted. “I don’t need him. I don’t need him anymore. You didn’t have to tell me that! Who are you to? Huh? You think you know me?! News flash, you don’t! You don’t even know what my middle name is, so don’t act like you could dictate me what or what not to do, because in all honesty, you are just an insufferable, miserable, stuck up bitch! Now, get out!”
I, myself, was surprised with my outburst. I have never lost my cool like that. The knocking got louder. She only threw the magazines at my direction—which I dodged, fortunately.
“You’re not getting away like that,” she warned me. “You’re going to regret everything,” she added before turning her back on me and opening the door.
Blake and Andrew stood there by the door frame. Not more than a second after the door opened, Tracy wrapped her arms around Blake’s neck and crashed her lips against his. Both Andrew and Blake were surprised. Not me, though. I was just simply disgusted. And angered. And hurt. Yes, I was hurt.
When she finally stopped harassing Blake, she held his hand and dragged him away, saying, “Tara na, babe. I don’t want to see that bitch again.”
She was such a spoiled brat, I thought to myself.
Andrew only smiled at me apologetically and we left for home without any other word spoken.
God, this day was crazy. Why did I wake up in that infirmary in the first place? And why, for Chipe’s sake, was Blake and Tracy there?!
***
There was silence.
"Oh no you don't!" I exclaimed as I tried to run after my extra-large lollipop.
Can this get any more exhausting?! Come on, Andrew had been snatching the lollipop for thirty minutes now. I can't even get a minute to hold it!
We ran and ran around the playground like little kids. And we laughed and laughed so loud like crazy. "Andrew, I've had enough! Stop it!" I successfully shouted between my breaths and laughing fits.
I ran faster but the dude is just so damn quick! Finally, I stopped and slumped down the cold damp grass. Was it drizzling? I stood up and walked to Andrew who had just stopped running. He walked to meet me.
"It's getting dark and it's gonna rain," I told him. He handed my lollipop which I gladly took. I un-wrapped it but before I could even lick it for the first time, I dropped it. What the fork?!
"Oops," Andrew teased. "Anyway, you wanna go home?" he asked.
I frowned a bit. Why the hell would I go home? I'm just starting to enjoy myself out here. "Don't think so. Let's stay for a while, that okay?" I smiled at him which he returned.
He shrugged and replied, "Whatever you want."
Together we walked back to the car and left the playground empty just like how we saw it. I buckled my seatbelt as he revved the engine to life.
"Where to now?" I asked as he drove.I looked at him.
A smile was slowly creeping up his face. "I don't know, really. I just feel like driving."
"I want to drive." I replied quickly.
He pulled over to the side of the road. He looked at me, shock dominating his face. "I know you can drive but I won't let you."
I just rolled my eyes. He continued driving until once again he pulled over in front of this really huge gate. He climbed down his car and so did I. He walked towards this big gate. Actually, no, he walked inside this big gate which opened the moment he pressed a button on some mini remote controller. Where he got that, don't ask me. I followed him.
"So, what now?" I asked but he didn't answer.
The drizzle transformed into a rain the second I stepped inside the huge gate. There was really nothing special about what's inside. Just an open ground with no roof. There's just a bunch of trees and grass and—Whoa!
I ran toward Andrew who stopped to stare at a meadow. This was amazing! It's breathtakingly beautiful and simple. At the middle, sat a gazebo filled with different lights that complimented really well the purple-ish sky.
I took hold of Andrew's arm for support. I looked at him. He was smiling, but not at me, at the meadow. At the gazebo.
"Tell me you didn't do this," I told him, still amazed.
It's not just the meadow or the gazebo or the lights or the birds or the flowers. It's not the place, too. What makes this so special and amazing is the effort and thought put into it. It tugged my heart, really. I mean, it's not really Christmas or my birthday or an apology or something but he did this.
And I don't know why he did this.
My shock faced was drained and my lips were graced by a full blown smile. I held his arm tighter. “Come on, talk. You didn’t do this, did you?” I asked once again.
He looked at me. “You do realize that it’s raining and we’re all wet?”
“I don’t really care if the rain drowns me today—“ I stopped in mid-sentence as he caught my hand and we started running across the beautiful, death-defying meadow towards the bright gazebo.
Halfway through, we slowed down and walked instead. Hand in hand. On the meadow.Under the darkness.Beneath the pouring rain. We just continued walking unconsciously until I felt the need to stop. So I did. Andrew stopped, too, and looked down on me. I looked directly in his eyes and I felt something.
Something that made my heart go crazy.
Is it the happiness or excitement or gratefulness?
Or is it just guilt?
I mouthed the words ‘thank you’. He smiled at me and nodded.
After that, we continued walking in silence. Hand in hand. Across the meadow.Under the darkness.Beneath the pouring rain.
When I thought this couldn’t get any better, I was wrong. The gazebo was filled with flower petals and more lights and these hanging ribbons and well, there’s a pair of sneakers on one corner but yeah, it doesn’t really matter.
“Sorry about that,” Andrew interrupted, looking a little embarrassed. He pointed at the pair of sneakers and I chuckled. I looked at him and let go of his hand so I could punch him in the arm playfully. Wait, what? I didn’t realize that we were holding hands! But that’s okay, anyway.
“So, Andrew, where’s the table? If you’re gonna be oh so romantic tonight, there probably should be a table so we can eat a candle lit dinner and maybe some violinist on our side? That makes it classy and romantic. And yeah, don’t forget to turn off the lights,” I half asked, half suggested.
“No. It’s not a candle lit dinner and it’s definitely not classy.”
He smiled at me and there was a glint of excitement in his eyes. Ohh… I think I’m gonna love this. But nah, it’s raining so we couldn’t have a picnic outside.
Suddenly, Andrew bent his knees and untied my shoelaces. I looked down on him, unsure of what’s going on. “What are you doing?” I asked. But he didn’t answer.
After he untied my shoelaces and removed my shoes, he did his. “We’re gonna have some fun,” he announced.
With no permission, he carried me over his shoulder and ran outside. I screamed so loud I almost ripped my throat. When he brought me down to my feet, I shouted, “Look at us! You’re…I…we—“ I breathed deeply.
“YOU.ARE.GONNA.PAY.FOR.THIS!”
I bent down and grabbed a handful of mud and threw it right at his white shirt. I smirked and stuck my tongue out. “Told you!” I shouted as I ran so fast I could beat Usain. I laughed so hard when I heard him complaining about how he’s gonna have a hard time washing that shirt.
Yeah, I thought, as if you’re the one who do the laundry. We ran and ran around the meadow, just laughing. I didn’t feel tired or exhausted. I just… I never felt this happy for a while. I never felt so free for a while.
Okay, quit the drama, I told myself.
We continued running as the rain continued to pour down. We continued laughing as happiness continued to swell my heart.
I stopped, stretched my hand out, looked up and closed my eyes, breathing in the smell of the rain. For a few seconds, I was in my own world. I didn’t dare think about anything but myself. It’s just me and my world and the cold breeze and the rain and nothing else.
My own world ceased when I felt something sliding down my arm. For the last time, I breathed in the smell of the rain and opened my eyes. Only then did I realize that mud was all over my shoulder. I looked straight and saw Andrew holding his sides laughing so hard he’s just a second away from cardiac arrest.
I narrowed my eyes and my jaw tightened.
“Stop dreaming, will ya?” he shouted between his laughter.
“An…drewwwwwww!” I hissed then charged at him but when I was only one pace away from him, I lost my balance and stumbled over and in the process making him lose his balance too.
Goddamn it!
***
Since we already became friendly with the mud, we decided to just lay down and enjoy the rain. The rain started to tame down a bit but I did not hope for it to stop.
“I love the rain,” I claimed, out of the blue. I smiled. Out the corner of my eyes, I saw Andrew looking at me; his lips curved upward just like mine.
“Why?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I just feel like I’m not alone when it’s raining.” I shrugged and faced him.
“Wow, deep,” he commented.
We laughed for a little while then silence followed.
“Been 2 weeks, huh?” he said breaking the ice.
“Yep. Since that time in the infirma—“
“You still love him, don’t you? And you were hurt,” he interjected, cutting me off.
“Maybe but it doesn’t matter now,” I replied, honestly.
“Are you gonna break up with me?” he asked.
Both of our smiles faded. I sighed. I didn’t know what to answer or how to answer.
“How about you? Are you gonna break up with me?” I asked, throwing him back his own question.
I looked directly in his half sad half happy eyes.
“Only if you wanted to,” he said almost too silently.
I closed my eyes and felt his breath ghost my face. The rain felt good on my skin. I opened my eyes and shivered as he asked me, “Do you love me?”
My heart was in overdrive. I gulped and looked at his eyes directly. And I could almost see the pain. And it hurt me more than him.
“You know I do. There’s something between us and there’s also something between Blake and I. I love you and I love Blake too.” I bit my lip as my toes curled in nervousness. “I don’t know. It’s just that, I’m confused.”
He smiled at me. “Can’t blame you.”
He looked up the sky and let the rain drown his angelic face. “Love is confusing.”
I nodded and smiled. I scooted closer to him and laid my head on his shoulder. He looked at me and touched my face. I felt my skin tingle.
I absorbed the moment.
I let the moment in.
Our faces were only inches apart. He smiled. “You got mud on your face.”
I smiled back and touched his face too. “So do you, Andrew Bailey.”
We laughed and we had a great night.
***
Broken this fragile thing now. And I can’t I can’t pick up the pieces.
I sang as I was walking down the road near Café Madness. It was really my habit lately to go here alone and volunteer to serve. It made me happy in a way. I don’t know what way, but does it really matter?
I looked down and noticed that my shoelaces were untied so I bent down and tied them back tightly. Okay, fine, I admit, Andrew taught me how to tie shoelaces correctly. Anyway, I continued walking and singing not really minding about people thinking that I’ve lost my mind.
I noticed a car pulled over to the side of the road. The car window opened. “Hey!”
I didn’t pay much attention since… wait a minute. I walked to the car and smiled.
“Hey!” I greeted.
“Alone?”
“Yep.”
“Me too. Hintayin mo ‘ko dyan. I’ll just park.”
I nodded and he drove to the nearest parking lot. I stayed put on the spot where I was standing and in less than 5 minutes, he was back.
“Hindi mo kasama si Andrew?” he asked as he stood beside me.
“Nope. Tournament.” I pursed my lips then shrugged.
“Nicolle—“ “Hey—“ We said at the same time.
I looked at him, a bit embarrassed. “You first,” I offered.
“Hindi. Ikaw na.”
I shrugged, the weird smile never leaving my face. “I’ll just… Just about to ask why you’re not with Tracy.”
Blake shifted uncomfortably but answered my question anyway. “Out of town siya eh.”
Then it came to my mind when being out of town was my cover up. I pushed the thought aside immediately. I wouldn’t want to bring that up now, would I?
“So, where you going?” I asked.
“Punta sana ako ng Café Madness,” he told me. There was a pause, and hesitantly, he added, “tapos nakita kita.”
He’s going to Café Madness? My heart slowed down a bit. Why would he go to Café Madness, I asked myself. Maybe because—No, Nicolle! Don’t dare think about that! Again, I pushed the thought away.
“Eh ikaw?” he asked.
“I’m going home. I was just from.” I gulped. “Café Madness,” I finished.
He scratched the back of his head and…well, he looked unsure. “Gusto mo bang mag… lunch?” He pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows. Lunch, sure. With him? I don’t think so.
“No. I’m sorry.” I checked my wrist watch. It’s already almost 12:30 and I haven’t had lunch yet. “Zelle’s waiting for me, so…” I added. I looked down. “Bye.” I looked at him and flashed him a smile.
Truth is I don’t know what to feel. I turned around and walked away. I blew out a breath.
“Nicolle!” he called out.
I faced him again and raised my eyebrows.
“I’ll drive you home.”
I just smiled, shook my head, did an okay sign, turned around and walked away again. I’ve walked for about 5 minutes already when I stopped. Actually…
I turned around and saw him walking away too. I ran towards him until I was just a few feet behind him. “Hey, Blake!” I called out, panting.
Startled, he turned around. His face captured in surprise. “Oh, hey. Akala ko bang uuwi ka—“
“Actually, I’m hungry. Let’s go grab some lunch?” I offered, quite confidently. He tilted his head. “Well, if it’s okay with you,” I sang.
“Sure. Great.” He shrugged and I chuckled.
We walked in silence to this little Chinese restaurant along the way.
***
We didn’t talk that much during lunch. It was a little bit awkward, yeah. No actually, it was very awkward. I couldn’t even look at his face for more than ninety seconds for Chipe’s sake!
I gave him cash but he insisted that he would pay, so I let him.
He looked at me and raised his eyebrows. I wanted to say something but I couldn’t seem to find my voice, so I decided to just shut up. And he decided to too.
We left with fortune cookies in both our hands. I took out the piece of paper and read what’s written on it. It read:
About time I got out of the damn cookie.
“Yeah, Chinese people have a sense of humor.” We laughed at what was written and at my comment of course. “So, what does yours say?” I asked.
He took the paper out, and threw the cookie away. He looked at the strip intently then at me. “So, what does it say?” I asked again.
He stuck his tongue out at me. “Secret.”
My eyes widened. I tried to grab his paper but instead, I accidentally grabbed his hand.
A moment of awkwardness, my friends.
I pursed my lips and pulled my hand away. I blew out a breath. “It’s not true, anyway,” I told him. Out the corner of my eyes, I saw his head turned to me.
“Mine is,” he responded.
I shrugged.
We continued walking in awkward quietness. Will this happen every time? The awkwardness? Because it feels so weird and funny at the same time. And I don’t like the feeling.
Blake broke the ice, literally, with his teeth.
“Ew,” I commented. “The sound’s gross. Aren’t you gonna throw that cup?” I asked, disgusted.
Since we left the restaurant, he didn’t let go of this paper cup filled with ice cubes. He waved it in front of me before stuffing some in his mouth and crushing each one loudly. I groaned and punched him in the arm, which he replied with an evil grin.
I rolled my eyes.
“I missed teasing you,” he said out of the blue.
I smiled weirdly.
“I miss you,” he added.
We both stopped walking. I checked the time. It was almost two. “Hey, I have to—“
“Are you happy?” he asked, cutting me off. He faced me but I didn’t. He tried to hold my hand but I avoided the contact.
“Of course, Blake, I am.”
I faced him. My heart pounded so fast and I was shaking in my boots. I awkwardly smiled.
“Mahal mo ba siya?”
I gulped.
“I love him enough.”
He nodded. We walked again. No one spoke. We couldn’t say anything though there’s so much to be said.
“Hey, I really have to go now,” I told him.
“I’ll drive you ho—“
“No, please. Just… I can handle myself, ok?” I smiled.
He nodded.
I hugged him, thanked him, and kissed his cheek.
“Hey, about the other day. Uhm… 2 weeks ago.”
“What other day?” I asked.
“Nung magkasalubong tayo sa McDo,” he answered.
I nodded and smiled. “We did?” I asked, confused.
He gulped and ran a hand over his blonde hair. “No. Hindi pala ikaw ‘yon. O sige, uuwi ka na talaga?”
“No. I just want to say another thing,” I told him.
I noticed the poker face he put on; the kind of poker face that masks every bit of expectations.
I sighed and went on with what I was about to say, “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you. And I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, too. I’m just happy for you. So… let’s call it a truce, yes?”
He smiled, washing away the blank expression. “Sure. But if you want to talk to me, I’m just going to be in the Royal Building.”
I nodded, waiting for him to say more.
“And I changed my number,” he added.
I gave him my phone so he could register his number. After he did, he told me, “Hindi mo pa din pinapalitan phone mo?” he asked, half smiling.
My heart throbbed as I shook my head. “Can’t afford a new one,” I reasoned out.
He only smiled.
“Okay, so… I really need to go home.”
With one last smile, I went home.