Important A/N at the end.
Dedicating this chapter to HecDaevis, one of the best boyxboy writers here. He is such an amazing person and his books are so awesome.
*Co-written and edited by dacasabella*
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Zak's P.O.V.
I stood behind the rack of cereal, staring at a blonde haired man, who looked to be around my age, as he walked around the store, selecting items and putting them in his cart.
I had been watching him for over five minutes, taking in his beauty and masculinity. I mean it was hard not to. He had piercing blue eyes, a square jaw and was so ripped. Thanks to the t-shirt he wore, hardly, anything was left to the imagination. Obviously, he was one of those guys who slept at the gym.
One of the main reasons I had been staring at him for so long was because he looked a lot like Oliver, minus the blonde hair and overly-ripped body.
It had been over two weeks since our little 'incident' and I had yet to see him face to face. That was mostly because I was too ashamed and scared to go over to his house in the event that I actually ran into him. I knew he indirectly rejected me but I didn't want to hear him say the words. The hurt and embarrassment from my actions were already too unbearable.
Brenda had told me earlier in the week, when she and the girls visited, that she knew about what happened between us and she assured me that Oliver didn't hate me and that he just needed some space.
Unfortunately, hearing that, still in no way lessened the pain of the heartbreak I felt. It was still very much there. I had to hide it each day as I went to work, fooling everyone with a smile while the pain was eating me alive on the inside. I had no choice in the matter. It was the only way to get through the day. I didn't want to talk about it with anybody, because I knew I would end up a crying mess. So, I acted like nothing was wrong when in reality, I felt like all hope was lost in my life.
"Did you find what you were looking for?", Jessica came up to meet me, pushing her cart filled with items.
"Yeah.", I said quickly, grabbing two boxes of Lucky Charms and putting them into my cart. It was a Friday afternoon and we had been shopping for Lily's birthday party which was supposed to be tomorrow and also happened to be Halloween. We had gone from store to store trying to get all the last minute things we still needed.
"What took you so long to pick them? You've been gone for more than 5 minutes-Ooohh.", she stopped in realization as her gaze followed mine and landed on the gorgeous site in front of us. "Wow. He's hot."
"You're married.", I reminded her.
"Doesn't mean I can't admire a good looking man when I see one.", she retorted as she continued to stare at the guy.
I rolled my eyes. "C'mon let's go. I didn't leave work to come help you so you can just ogle a random hot guy."
"So you admit he's hot, hmm?", she smirked at me.
"I never said that."
"But you did."
"No, I didnt."
"Go ask him out."
"What?! Are you crazy?", I whisper-yelled at her noting that the sex god on legs had now strolled into the aisle we were in and was in hearing range. "For all I know, He might be straight and possibly homophobic."
"C'mon you won't know till you try. Go talk to him.", she replied, poking my belly.
"No!", I swatted her hands away.
"C'mon. Pleeeease", she begged.
"No. I'm not taking any chances. There are so many things wrong with this idea."
"Please, please, please, please.", she said repeatedly while again, poking me in the stomach.
"No. Stop that!", I tried blocking her pokes.
As that went on for a few more seconds, she quickly turned me around and pushed me towards the guy who was now standing a few feet away, with his back to us.
I was surprised that she had that amount of strength to push me, especially because she was slightly shorter than me and so petite.
As I stumbled towards him, I desperately tried my best to catch my balance. Being me, I utterly failed and therefore fell on the floor, just inches away from him, sprawled out like roadkill.
He immediately spotted me and rushed to help me up.
"Are you alright there?", he asked as he tried to help me to my feet. He had a certain hoarseness to his voice that was really sexy.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about my clumsiness...", I trailed off with my mouth ajar as I looked up into his eyes.
I felt my a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach and all my words stuck in my throat. He had a face of an angel. A really ripped angel. And he was much more handsome up close. His face was just perfect. I could stare at him all day.
"Uh, hello. Are you okay there buddy?", he asked, holding my shoulders, snapping me out of my daze.
"Yeahhh.", I nodded frantically as tingles ran all over my body from his touch.
"Okaaay.", he chuckled, showing me his perfect set of whites as he let go of me.
"Wow, did you fall from heaven?", I dumbly asked.
He looked at me in confusion, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
I immediately realized what had just come out from my mouth before slapping my hand over it.
"Oh my God. I'm so sorry I said that out loud. My sister-in-law pushed me over here to come talk to you cuz I sorta find you attractive and she thought it would be a good idea if I asked you out. But that was so not a pick up line, yeah...", I rambled, scratching my head awkwardly.
He was grinning now widely as I trailed off and I couldn't help but smile too, feeling a tad hopeful about our interaction.
"Well, sorry, but I'm not gay.", he said, giving me an apologetic smile.
The smile on my face slowly disappeared after he finished talking. "Yeah, It's alright. I suspected.", I forced a smile. "Sorry for wasting your time."
"It's all good. Have a good day.", he smiled and turned back to his shopping.
'What was I thinking? It's not like he would have magically said yes, even if he was gay. This was not one of those silly romance books I read on wattpad back in high school. This was real life and it always spits in my face.'
I turned around with my head down and walked back to Jessica who now had a hopeful expression on her face.
Once she saw mine, the hopeful expression faded into a sad one. One of pity.
"Soo, straight, I'm guessing.", she asked, setting her hand on my shoulder.
I nodded.
"It's gonna be alright Zak. They're a lot of guys out there for you--"
I shook my head. "Let's just go Jess, please."
She nodded and followed me as we picked up the remaining items, paid for them and headed to her house.
***
The rest of the afternoon was very busy especially in the Kitchen. I had been making Lily's cake and cookies for the party with the help of a chef Jess hired. She was busy organizing the goodie bags for the party. It was going to be a party of about 20 kids who were mostly from Lily's nursery.
Jess had also hired a party planner company that was supposed to come in tomorrow morning to put up the decorations and set up the place up for the party which would commence at around 2pm.
It was around 8 in the evening when the chef and I finished designing the cake. I was so exhausted especially because I'd been working for about 4 hours just on the cake.
I gave it a once over before smiling to myself in satisfaction. Lily was going to love her cake.
"Goodnight Francine. See you tomorrow morning.", I waved to the short woman that helped me with the cake and the cookies as she grabbed her purse before leaving the kitchen and exiting the house. She was going to come back tomorrow, before the party to help make some other snacks which Jess planned for the party.
"Goodnight Mr. Zak.", she replied.
I covered the cake in a transparent wrap and carried it to the pantry where we had kept the cookies. Coming back out, I met Jess walking into the kitchen. "I'm done with the cake."
"Really? Where is it?"
"In here.", I opened the pantry door for her to come and see.
"Aww Zak. This is amazing. Lily's gonna love it!", she hugged me.
"I know right?", I hugged her back.
"Yeah. Thanks so much Zak.", she released me, looking at me and smiling.
"No problem. I'm always willing to help, especially when it comes to Lily.", I smiled back.
"Are you still gonna go back home?"
"Na, I don't think so. I think I'll crash here tonight so I'll be able to help tomorrow morning."
"Alright. You know you're always welcome and you know where your room is."
I smiled, nodding my head.
"I'm starving.", I said once I realized I hadn't eaten since morning.
"I ordered some pizza. You up for some?", she asked.
"Definitely. Wait which toppings?"
"I ordered two. Pepperoni and Sausage."
"Good then.", I smiled as I followed her into the dining room where both pizza boxes lay open with about half of the slices gone in each box.
"Woah. Did you eat all those by yourself?", I asked while setting down into one of seats.
"Of course not. Logan helped me.", she replied.
"Where is the idiot, by the way?", I grabbed a slice of the pepperoni pizza and put in my mouth.
"He had to go upstairs. You know, code brown."
I almost choked on hearing that. "Eww Jess. Too much information.", I said in disgust once I swallowed. "Don't make me lose my appetite."
She just chuckled and we continued to talk and laugh, catching up on what had happened during the week. I missed spending time with her like this. We hardly saw each other any more because we are always so busy with work.
"What would you have done if that guy said yes?", she suddenly asked out of nowhere.
"Huh? Which guy?", I asked, confused.
"You know, the guy at the store."
"Oh him?", I said once I realized who she was talking about. That feeling of disappointment and sadness I experienced back at the store washed over me once more. "I dunno.", I shrugged, looking down.
I think she realized my change in mood and immediately apologized. "Hey, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked and I shouldn't have even pushed you to do it. I didn't know you'd be so upset by him saying no. I'm really sorry.", she reached over to grab my hand.
"It's fine. You were just trying to help.", I replied.
I instantly had an urge to tell her about Oliver, so I did.
"You know Oliver apologized to me about the bbq thing. We've sort of been friends since.", I said.
"Oh, that's good then."
"Yeah. He showed me a part of him I never imagined he had. Apparently, he had just acted like an ass cuz he had recently got out of a relationship and wasn't quite himself. He is a really great guy. As we got to know one another, I found myself getting attracted to him more and more everyday. I don't think I've liked anyone as much as I like him, not that there have been a lot to even begin with. I really hoped he would return my feelings but I was so stupid to think that, I guess."
"Why would you say that?"
"Well two weeks ago, we almost kissed. But, it was as my initiation and he quickly backtracked and high tailed out of there before I could even bat a lash. From his behaviour towards me during the bbq incident and this one, everything finally makes sense to me. He doesn't find me attractive. I don't why I didn't realize it any sooner.", I groaned, putting my head in my hands.
"How do you know? Did he tell you or did you hear it from someone else that he said that?"
"No Jess but---"
"Then you can't assume that Zak. Just because he didn't kiss you doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive. You said it yourself that you were told that he just got out of a relationship. He is probably still not over it or not ready for a relationship yet, Zak. That's very possible. You have to give him some time and since he didn't tell you he doesn't find you attractive, you can't jump to conclusions."
"Listen, Jess -"
"No, you listen to me Zak. I don't mean to hurt you in any way by saying this but you haven't been in a relationship. You don't know what it is like to have one end. How it makes you feel. He may be dealing with a lot right now and is just not ready to deal with having feelings for someone else. You have to trust me on this."
"I guess it is a possibility. And thanks for rubbing it in, by the way.", I shot her a half smile so she knew I wasn't mad. It did hurt to hear that though, very much.
"You're welcome. And Zak, I could be wrong but I don't like to see you automatically discount
yourself like that. You are an amazing guy. I mean look at you. You're one of the cutest guys I know and you can cook and bake, you are funny and sweet and incredibly kind hearted too. Any guy would be lucky to have you."
I don't know why but hearing her say that erupted some kind of emotion that had been buried for awhile in me. "Then why am I still single Jess?! Why?!", my voice raised slightly. my emotions getting the better of me.
"Is everything alright here?", I turned to see Logan standing in the living room entrance.
"Yeah. I was just going to bed.", I mumbled getting up, brushing past Logan and running up the stairs to the room I had here in their house.
I could feel the stinging in my eyes as tears threatened to fall. I took a deep breath trying to keep them at bay. I understood what Jessica was trying to do. She was a glass half full kind of person and she couldn't stand having those around her feeling down. But, the fact of the matter was she wasn't helping. Pushing me to ask that guy, just to be rejected, only added salt to my wounds. I already knew I wasn't good enough to date. Years upon years of utter loneliness had confirmed that fact many times over.
The familiar aching sadness in my chest returned and slowly spread over my whole body. I quickly shrugged off my shirt and jeans and crawled under the covers, cocooning myself in, in hopes that the warmth would help me drift off before my mind took over.
As I tried to relax, my mind drifted back to Oliver, always to Oliver. A brief unexpected smile made it's way to my face before quickly slipping away. I couldn't forget the look of confusion and upset that covered his face as he backed away from me just two weeks ago. If I had just realized my limitations as a person and my unworthiness as a boyfriend two weeks ago, none of this would have happened. I would have at least had Oliver still in my life. Yeah Brenda said he just needed some space but I knew very well, the relationship we had would never be the same again and it was all my fault.
Who knew it would take just a few weeks to prove that my mother had been right all along. I was a disgusting excuse for a person and no one would ever want me. If what happened today at the store didn't clarify it then I don't know what will. It was apparent that I was never going to find happiness.
As the tears continued to run down my cheeks, I finally drifted off, emotionally exhausted.
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A/N: So guys, some days ago GrandLGBT posted on my message board, saying that one of you guys nominated Neighbors for Best Romance Book for the Grand LGBT Wattpaders Choice Awards. That made me really happy that one of you guys did that. At the start of writing this book, I didn't plan on entering it into any of this competitions cuz I was skeptical that the book wouldn't live up to any of the qualifications. But now seeing it as one of the nominees gives me hope that it is doing well. Thank you to whoever nominated my book. I really appreciate it. Now seeing it is a Wattpaders choice awards, the power is in your hands, the readers. The books nominated in this genre are also really amazing. So if you feel my book should win, go to my message board and click on the link GrandLGBT sent me and vote for my story. It would be awesome to win but even if it doesnt, remember I still appreciate you guys so much. So go vote if you want it to win. Thanks again for reading.
Love, Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
XoXo.