SATURDAY - JUNE 19, 1976
Sam was awake and dressed, when Sarah rolled over and eyed him, grumpily.
"What are you doing up so early?" She pushed her hair out of her face and tried to focus on the alarm clock.
Sam stopped at the door with his hand on the knob, he turned and faced Sarah brightly. "I'm going down to check out the restaurant." He hesitated. "Do you want to come?"
Sarah slid out of bed and caught the whiff of sex that still clung to her body. "Can you give me a couple minutes to take a shower?"
Sam laughed. "I know how long your showers are. Come down when you're done, I'll still be there."
Sam walked to the desk clerk, urgently asking to use the house phone. He punched in Gisette's room number and waited, impatiently, for her to answer while keeping an eye on the elevators in case Sarah decided to come down now.
"Well?" He growled into the phone as soon as he heard Gisette's voice.
"No, Sam. Nothing yet." Gisette grumbled sleepily.
"What the fuck, Gisette!" Sam exhaled loudly. He ran his shaking hands through his hair and watched the elevators, nervously trying to think of an excuse if Sarah should step through them and see him.
"This isn't something that I can make happen! I want to start my period, if I could make it happen, I would!"
"Why aren't you going to a doctor?"
"I called my doctor in Paris. I am flying out Monday. I was going to tell everyone today."
"Tell them what?" Sam panicked.
"My god, Sam! I will just say I have some things to take care of. Now let me go back to bed!"
Sam slammed the phone down and went into the restaurant to wait for Sarah. His hands shook and his heart was pounding rapidly as he stared at the menu. Gisette is pregnant! His pulse beat out the staccato that echoed and bounced inside his head.
Georgie and Trish came in and sat at his table. Trish had showered and put on make up, and for the most part, looked well.
"I'm sorry I scared the shit out of everyone last night." Trish said. "But Georgie took care of me. He always does."
"She promised me that she would never do that again. Right, baby doll?" Georgie reached over to rub Trish's back.
Trish laid her head on Georgie's shoulder and looked over at Sam, smiling wickedly. "We're both starting fresh. He won't fuck anymore groupies and I won't take too many pills."
The couple were so into their make up phase that they hadn't noticed the ashen tone of Sam's face or the tightness in his forced smile. But Sarah was entering the restaurant and she had noticed, and she had seen the effort Sam was putting into trying to act relaxed.
"Good, I'm glad to hear that." Sarah said as she slid into the chair across from Trish. "That's the way it should be."
Sarah kissed Sam's cheek. "Everyone is starting over. Things are looking better!" She cocked her head and looked at him, questioning.
Sam looked at the menu, biting his cheek. He felt his heart pounding as he tried to act natural, but he knew that Sarah was suspicious.
SUNDAY - JUNE 20, 1976
Sarah followed Sam down the aisle to the seats that had become theirs on long bus rides. They had a ten hour drive ahead of them, arriving in Salt Lake City sometime around 6:30 that evening.
She turned to stow her bag under the seat in front of them, catching Sam's questioning glare towards the back of the bus. She looked sideways and saw Gisette, seated on the couch behind them give a firm shake of her head, then laid her head back on the arm of the couch.
Sam threw his bag on the floor, and Sarah saw the muscle in his jaw clench. Something had been going on between Gisette and Sam for a couple days, she knew. Sarah was getting more pissed off as she saw the looks that had been passing between the two.
Sarah stepped closer to Sam, asking as he bent his head to hers. "You better fucking tell me what is going on, right now."
Sam shook his head. "Now is not the time, not while we're on this bus."
"So that means it's something that I am really going to get pissed about." Sarah looked at him, and decided to play her hunch.
Narrowing her eyes, she asked. "Gisette's pregnant. Am I right?"
The bus started to drive onto the freeway, and Sam pulled her down to the seat as he sat beside her.
"Please, Sweetheart, please, don't." He whispered.
"When were you going to tell me?" Sarah whispered angrily.
"She doesn't know yet for sure. That's why she's leaving for Paris."
Sarah leaned back, everything was falling in place. Gisette was sick on the bus, and she had been crying off and on for the past few days. She must have somehow found a chance to see Sam alone and tell him that she was late.
Sarah realized it was probably the day Sam went to get her the soda. He had been watching, since that day, to see if Gisette would start her period before she left. Now it explained why Sam had shown no reaction to Gisette's announcement that she would be gone for a few days. He must have already known that she was leaving.
Sarah had thought it had something to do with Sam, but never suspected it was because Gisette was pregnant. She and Trish had both been happy after Gisette had made the announcement at dinner last night. They had talked about it later, agreeing that things would be better while she was gone.
"She's going to see her doctor....." Sarah said slowly. She watched Sam put his face in his hands. "When were you going to tell me?"
Sam looked up, guiltily.
"I see." Sarah said. She kept her voice low and even, and Sam heard the venom in it. "So, you were waiting until you knew for sure. You would have to tell me then, if she is. But if she isn't pregnant, then you would never have said anything to me."
"Sarah, I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you again." Sam pleaded with her.
"And you don't think it hurts me now to know that you have been keeping this from me? This secret that you and she are sharing? So that just means that you lied to me. You really did fuck her when you first came back to the tour." She backed away as he reached for her. "Get away from me. Go find another seat." She whispered, viciously.
Sam sighed and slid into the seat behind her as he wondered how his life had gotten so fucked up.
***
"I'm sorry, Sarah." Sarah heard Sam's voice. They had been on the bus for six hours and she still refused to acknowledge him.
"You're going to have to talk to me sometime, you know." He whispered through the seats.
Sarah had been thinking, though. For the past six hours she had been reviewing her entire time with Sam. And she had made the decision to leave him.
She felt the freezing chill in her chest, as if the shattered pieces of her heart had turned to ice. She wasn't going to let herself get hurt anymore. Sarah knew that she couldn't say anything while they were stuck in the bus. She was counting the hours until they reached the next hotel, in Salt Lake City.
She had thought it all out and she was sure that she could get a flight back East sometime that evening. She had used Sam's charge card before, she thought, she could easily use it again to buy a ticket. The only thing she hadn't figured out was when she could leave and how she would tell Sam.
Sarah paced around the lobby, waiting for Gisette to get them checked in so she could get to their room. Sam had given up on talking to her, shooting her angry looks alternating with pleading ones. Now that she had her mind made up, she just wanted to get as far away as she could.
"Here's the key. Let's go" Sam grabbed her elbow and steered her towards the elevator, down the hall from the check in desk.
Sarah stopped when saw the desk clerk wasn't busy and decided now was the time to start her plan in motion.
"Give me my room key and I'll be up in a few minutes." She reached for the key, only to have Sam hold it back.
"Why? What are you going to do?" He asked suspiciously, holding it behind his back.
Sarah gave him a frosty look and tried to reach behind him. "I'm going to the desk over there and make a few phone calls." Sam stepped back a few steps and her voice rose, as she spoke over his protests. "I'm going to make a few calls, and I don't want you to hear! And it's none of your business who I am calling!"
Sam looked around as Trish came up behind him, putting a hand on their arms and drawing them closer. "Is something wrong?" She hissed. "You two are getting awful loud."
"If there is, Sarah and I will work it out upstairs. Right, Sarah?" Sam tried to take her arm, but Sarah jerked away.
"No" Sarah shook her head and crossed her arms. She narrowed her eyes and jutted out her chin. "You will give me the key and I will be up in a little bit."
Trish glared at both of them. "Look, I don't know what is going on between you two now. But Sam, just give her the key. I'm sure she'll be up in a little bit, like she said."
Sam slammed the key into Sarah's open palm and stalked to the elevator. He crossed his arms and glared at her through narrowed eyes, his mouth twisted as he chewed the corner of it.
Trish looked at Sarah with her eyebrows raised, but Sarah just nodded her thanks and walked to the desk.
Trish grabbed Sam's arm and pulled him into the elevator. "Let her alone, Sam. You need to just go to your room and cool off."
Sam was waiting for Sarah by the elevator doors as she walked off them onto the 2nd floor.
"Where the fuck have you been? I was just coming down to get you." He sounded angry and Sarah saw the fury in his eyes.
"I told you I would be here." She retorted as she unlocked the door.
Sarah walked into the room, surveying it, then giving a depressed sigh. All the hotels were starting to look alike. Brown couch and matching chair, brown wooden table beside it, a long brown dresser ran across the room opposite the bed, oranges and tans and browns made up the swirl pattern on the comforter, and a shit brown carpet decorated this room. The air in the room was heavy and the opening door swirled the stale cigarette smell through the dust motes.
Sarah walked over to the window and opened it to let in fresh air. She leaned on the sill and looked down at the pool below. The water looked cool and refreshing and it almost made her want to get her suit on and go sit in the sun. She wanted to forget today ever happened.
She sighed, it was too late to turn back. She had a ticket being held for a flight leaving for Buffalo in a couple hours. She just had to get Sam's card from his wallet to pay when she went to pick it up. And she had arranged for a hotel shuttle to take her to the airport in half an hour. She had called Midgie, that had been a tough call, but she needed a ride from the airport. Midgie had been full of questions, but Sarah promised to tell her everything when she saw her.
"Well, I'm waiting. Are you going to tell me what the fuck you think you're doing?" Sam stood in the middle of the room, with his hands on his hips, challenging Sarah.
"I'm going home." Sarah calmly announced. She couldn't look at his face as she said the words.
Sam was speechless, his body jolted as if she had sucker punched him. He had expected Sarah to yell, he knew there would be an argument, but he never expected the cold calmness that he saw now. He watched as Sarah walked to stand by the dresser. He walked to the window and stood where she had just been, staring down on the pool. He could feel his heart beat pick up and beat steadily again, pushing ice cold numbness through his body.
Sarah slipped her hand over his wallet sitting on the dresser, extracting his card and sliding it in the back pocket of her jeans.
"I'm not staying here anymore to keep getting hurt. You lied when you said that nothing had happened between you and Gisette. I had other people tell me that you two had sex, and I chose to believe you. I have had to stand and watch you flirt until it got out of control. And now I have to stay and see her pregnant with your baby? NO! I won't do it." Sarah struggled not to cry.
Sam turned away from the window, his voice was pleading. "Sarah, everything you've said is true. I am so sorry, I know that I've told you that so many times. But I'm begging you, please don't leave me."
Sam tried to take her hands, but she pulled away. "Gisette might not even be pregnant! Then what? You've left me? Will you come back, then?" His voice was raised in frustration.
Sarah's cool exterior dropped as she looked at him in disbelief. "You think I'll come back to you after you have lied? And if she isn't pregnant, you were never even going to tell me about it. That was your plan? Don't you see how that hurts? If you would have just told me."
"If I had told you, we'd still be arguing about it."
"Yeah, probably. But at least I would have known. I would have been there for you, Sam. But you've shut me out. This is just another thing that is keeping you tied to her. You two have this secret between you. You both want to go through it together, leave me out of it? I'm part of your life, Sam!" Sarah shouted. Then she added quietly. "At least, I used to be, now I'm not so sure if I will ever be."
Sarah picked up her duffle, shouldered her purse and turned towards the door. Sam ripped the duffle and purse off of her and threw them across the bed, where they hit the end table, knocking off the clock and the lamp.
"NO SARAH!" He yelled. "I won't let you go!" He grabbed her arm, and she screamed as he pulled her towards him. She pushed her hands against his chest, kicking and screaming as his arms tightened around her.
Georgie was shouting and pounding on the door, and Sam yelled to go away. But then Trish joined Georgie and they were both shouting at Sam to open the door.
"Let me go, Sam!" Sarah twisted out of his arms, only to have him grab her hands as he pulled her with him to the door.
Sam pulled the door open, holding a flushed and breathless Sarah behind him. "Go away!" He started to close it, but Trish pushed her way in, followed by Georgie.
"I want to make sure Sarah is okay." Trish put her hand on Sarah's arm. "Sarah? Are you okay, honey?"
Sarah shook her head as she finally separated her hands from Sam's. "I'm leaving to go home."
Trish looked at Sarah's face and saw the determination in her eyes. "Oh god, Sarah. You really mean it!"
Trish turned to Sam, outraged. "That fucking French bitch has something to do with this!" She saw Sam's guilty look. "You fucking, stupid, idiot asshole! My god, there aren't enough words to describe you!"
Sarah picked through the broken clock and lamp parts, to retrieve her duffle and purse. Sam tried to go after her, reaching out for her as she walked by him but Georgie held him back.
"Let her go, Sam." Georgie warned as Sam struggled against him.
Trish walked to Sarah and hugged her, eyes filled with tears. "I don't know what's going on, but I know it must be bad if you've decided to leave. I'm really going to miss you. Can we keep in touch?" She whispered.
Sarah felt the hot tears roll down her cheeks. Saying goodbye to Trish was harder than she thought it would be. She squeezed her friend. "I'll miss you too." She leaned in to whisper lower, so only Trish could hear. "Please take care of him."
Trish nodded, "I will, honey."
Sarah looked over at Georgie, struggling to hold an angry Sam. "I'll miss you, Georgie. Take care."
She closed the door behind her, shuddering as she heard Sam shouting her name.