This is just way to hard.for me to comprehend.... I've spent 4, 5, 6, 13 years with some of these people and soon enough our bonds will be broken. We had our senior luncheon today and I said I wasn't going to cry. But, I've never been so wrong. Years I've spent not crying, not for death, funerals, nothing. but today something triggered all my tears to pour out.
Lenny, the one person In the world I can say I love and care about more then anyone else, including myself, signed my yearbook. He didn't cry but he was so close, his sniffles, watery eyes, and the sadness you can feel that fell on him when he went to sign my yearbook was over powering. He got his own seperate page to himself because I always save the middle page for him. here is what he wrote to me.
"Dear Jason, I can honestly say I enjoyed having you in some of my classes over these years. I love talking to you about all the stuff we find interesting... wether it's Pokemon, dragonvale, or anything else. You are a cery good kid, and a cool person. I'm glad you still decided to be my friend after our incident you are very bright and good luck to you in your future. Don't ever be afraid to text me your pal - Lenny *******"
Every time I read it I want to cry because It reminds me of so many things we have gone through and how much I care and love about him. I honestly feel that there is no one I care about more, I'll always have his back.
When I got home I texted him and every message made me want to cry, Since he didn't get a yearbook this year he arranged to bring in a notebook I can write in to him... He said he'll save it too. Now, I just don't know what to say, I spent months planning it before but now, It still doesn't seem good enough, How do you tell someone you value every little thing about them more then yourself. That you where purposely getting lower grades to try and be in the same classes, That he broke me into little pieces but it doesn't matter becaus he could rip my up and throw me out and I'd still care about him above all else. >.< I'm asking for a little help here, god, cupid, ares, whomever is out there to help me write the perfect thing for him. I want him to look at it and be able to remember everything we've been through. God, this is just so hard for me to imagine a day that he won't be around me.... then I realize we were going to the same college... Even then it was impossible for me to stop crying though, I literally never cry but some how he made me cry for hours.
Wish me luck on writing my note to him and on actually graduating because I fear I'll cry even more on that day.
Good bye for now my little privacy invaders <3