This is for an angst oneshot challenge I did with some friends, but I decided to post it here as well so that I could try to break everyone else's hearts too! Sorry for the lack of fluff in here but I wanted to make it really angsty!
I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the most recent photo of us together. It was a selfie Yu'd taken of us together near the river just a couple of weeks ago, taken on his phone and then forwarded to me just a few moments later. I could still feel the gentle breeze that had caressed our faces and ruffled our hair as we stood there grinning at each other like a pair of idiots. Maybe if I had said I love you one more time, held his hand just a little bit longer and let him know just how much he meant to me, he would still be by my side today.
Instead, all I had were photos and memories, things that were becoming more painful each time I looked through each one or thought of our time together. Was it always supposed to hurt like this when you lost someone you cared about? Did the one left behind always feel their heart breaking, shattered into such painfully sharp fragments that seemed to only remain so they could tear you apart from the inside?
Getting up, I finally started pulling myself together enough to get ready for school, something that I'd put off long enough that my parents had put their foot down and told me that I had to go today, no matter how much I begged to stay home just one more day.
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Taking a deep breath, I went straight to the classroom so I could avoid the pitying looks that the other students had been giving me before I'd quit coming to class. At least I wouldn't have to deal with their whispering for a while and I could go over some of my old notes to try and get my mind off everything else.
Well, that had been the plan until I sat down. I'd forgotten something though, something important. HIS desk was in front of mine. That was actually how we had met, how we'd started talking and getting to know each other. That was the start of me falling in love with Nishinoya Yu. I could feel the tears burning in my eyes as memories flashed through my mind.
Our first date, when he took me to see that movie everyone else had been talking about but I'd been too afraid to go alone.
The first time we held hands, together at the amusement park, and he'd been insistent that it was because he didn't want me to get lost in the crowd of people who seemed to tower over us.
The night we'd shared our first kiss, lips barely brushing against each other before we'd both pulled away, too embarrassed to meet each others eyes until he'd pulled me into a hug and quietly whispered "I love you" into my ear before pressing kiss after kiss to my hair, my cheeks and finally my lips again.
And finally the day that my heart broke, shattered like a precious treasure that had once been so carefully protected, only to later be left precariously balanced, forgotten at the edge of the shelf. Oh how painful it had been when I'd fallen from my place.
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I'm not sure how long I had sat there but the next thing I knew, the bell was ringing it's five minute warning and the room was already filled with whispering girls and nervous looking boys. I barely had time to dry my eyes before the teacher walked in, glancing at me with a hint of concern in her eyes before heading to her desk and pulling some papers out of her briefcase.
It was right before the final bell to start class rang that it happened. I heard that distinct laughter, the same sound that I used to love so much but instead of my own laugh echoing after it, a different laugh followed the sound. Her laugh, the girl who had stolen his heart away from me, leaving me so cold and alone after being left behind as the unwanted ex-girlfriend.
Looking up even though I knew I shouldn't, I saw Yu kiss her on the lips, one hand cupping her cheek like he used to do with me. It wasn't until I felt the first tear hit my arm, almost scalding hot on my skin, that I even realized I was crying again. As the last piece of my heart shattered, I finally stopped feeling the pain, a sense of numbness washing over me.
When he finally turned around and saw me sitting there in my seat with tears drying on my cheeks, I didn't even react to his flinch, turning to face the front of the classroom as the teacher began taking attendance. When my name was called, I answered without even a tremor in my voice.
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Everything was fine until lunchtime came around. My heart, although numb and empty feeling, still beat. My eyes were scratchy but released no tears. My mind had finally stopped thinking about the time I had spent with him, time that I realize how had been wasted on him. I never should have said yes to him when he asked me out. I never should have said no to the other boy who'd given his confession that same day, energetic brown eyes wide with excitement. Sadly, it was easier to see our mistakes after they were made, especially the ones that couldn't be fixed.
I watched with a numb heart as the boy I had refused once in the past, simply because he was a year younger than me, shared his lunch with a girl I had once called my best friend. A girl that had left me when Yu broke up with me, showing how little our friendship meant to her. What a fool I had been. Feeling the chill inside my chest grow even colder, I turned away from them and walked into the building.
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Glancing into a window as I walked past, I was met with the reflection of bloodshot eyes, tear stained cheeks and dull, lifeless hair that had lost its previous shine. I looked like I belonged in a morgue, not walking around a school full of energetic students. Turning away from the windows, I continued down the hallway towards my destination, not one student that I passed saying a single word to me. But I could hear their whispers following me like a dog nipping at my heels.
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The first scream tore through the air, quickly joined by more as a crowd of shaken students gathered near the entrance to the school. Nishinoya's eyes grew wide at the sight that met him when he broke through the crowd, guilt filling him at the vision of his ex-girlfriend laying broken on the ground in front of him. Sadly, it was too late to try to fix things between them, unable to go back and try to soften the breakup and too late to try to make sure she would be okay.
The breakup had been too harsh and sudden, the first mistake he'd ever made in their relationship. She hadn't been okay afterwards, something that should have been obvious if he'd bothered to see anything other than the girl he'd left her for. And although he regretted leaving her for someone else, someone he'd just caught kissing another guy less than 20 minutes ago, the things between them could never be fixed now.
After all, you couldn't fix something if the pieces you'd broken weren't there anymore. The girl he'd loved, the one he'd left broken and alone, was gone forever and he'd never live a day without feeling the pain of regret fill him. He would give up everything, even volleyball, if it would just bring her back and give him one more chance to make things right again.
Just one more chance to give her the love she'd deserved to have, that he'd failed to give her in the end. But sometimes second chances were as unattainable as trying to touch a star with your fingertips. No matter how hard he tried to reach out, not matter how many wishes he made on them, the one star he wanted to have would be forever beyond his grasp.