Dearest Tommy,
Forget about seeing a shrink--an exorcist is what you bloody need!
Tommy, you know perfect girls don't exist in real life. Perfect girls don't exist, period. I'm sure Teresa has these flaws you tend to overlook, all because you're too bloody obsessed with her. If she's as perfect as you describe her, well, I think you should steer clear, because obviously this chick is anything but HUMAN.
Sonya's in the background, rambling about how it's normal to like 'perfect' girls. I say: is it normal to like Barbie dolls, Tommy? Well, is it normal for you to want to shag them, then? I'll leave you to wonder about your answers to these questions, Tommy, because apparently my advice sounds patronizing, even though you're the one to buggin' open it up to me, anyway.
If you think Rachel isn't a match for you, well, then find another girl who is! IT'S THAT BLOODY SIMPLE, TOMMY! DON'T MAKE THINGS SO COMPLICATED!
Unleds you're into guys, of course. That just shucks this entire thing up.
Yours sincerely,
Newt
PS. Minho says 'asshat' right back at ya.