Hey guys,
So, I lied. This is going to be the last update, simply because I've done so much revision and decided that I needed to release some of the stress. This is the best way to be able to do that. Strange right?
I also decided that I couldn't leave writing this part until next weekend, especially after the way the last part ended. Sorry if it's a bit boring and not what you expect, but I do appreciate all you people that are reading this and then commenting/voting.
So, until next weekend, enjoy this part and I hope you have a great week. And, to any of you that have exams, good luck and I hope you get the grades that you want from them.
Love to you all,
Em:)xxx
+++
"Does that prove how jealous I am?" Nathan asked, pulling away and resting his forehead against mine, looking me right in the eyes.
"I think that certainly does. But, I've made it clear that I want nothing other than friendship from you." I chuckled.
"If you didn't feel something, then you would have pushed me away and would never have let me kiss you in the first place." he replied with a smirk on his face, I guess he was right though.
If I didn't feel something then I would never have frozen in the way that I did when he came near.
I would have walked away from him and nothing would have happened between the pair of us; I guess the mind can never be right and can never know what you really want. It is always the heart that knows everything and holds your true feelings.
I've just never bothered listening to it before now.
As soon as Nathan kissed me, my heart felt like it was going to beat of my chest and he gave me goose bumps when he was speaking, just with his breath hitting my bare skin.
I had never realised that he had this much of an effect on me before now. Mostly because I had told myself that I was never going to let myself fall in love again and I was never going to let Nathan get the better of me; no matter how much he told me that he loved me.
No matter how jealous he got of me going out with other people.
No matter what he did for me or where he took me.
I was never going to drop my defences and actually let myself fall in love with Nathan, because I didn't want to have my heart broken again and I didn't want to be left with no one.
Especially after I had put all my trust in them and given them my heart.
Apparently that wasn't the case and, no matter what I had told myself, I had been lying to myself for the whole of that time.
Today had shown me that I must have felt something for Nathan or I would never have let him kiss me and I would never have let myself feel the emotions that I was feeling.
"Doesn't mean anything. We're only friends Nathan, nothing more..." I sighed, still not wanting to let myself admit that there was something there and it wasn't just some meaningless kiss that happened so that Nathan could prove a point to both me and himself.
"I know you don't mean that Nikki. Why won't you just admit to yourself that you felt something?" Nathan asked, frustration in his tone as he looked around, avoiding my stare now.
"Because I didn't Nathan. I felt nothing." I lied, feeling the lump of guilt in my throat as the words were forced out of my mouth.
"You're such a bad liar Nikki, I know that you're lying. Why won't you admit it to yourself?" Nathan replied.
"How do you know that I'm lying?"
"Because, just like you know me, I also know you. Why are you doing this to me Nikki?" Nathan said, wandering around, trying to release all the tension and anger that had built up within him because of what I was saying to him.
"Because I don't want to fall in love again, okay? Because I don't trust anyone not to break my heart again and throw everything back at me when it all goes wrong. Because I always told myself that I was never going to feel anything for you." I answered, turning into nothing more than a whisper as I reached the end of what I was saying.
I had never told anyone that before and I never thought I would have to, I just thought it would be something that I kept to myself.
Telling Nathan the truth was the first step to admitting anything to myself about my feelings for him.
"So, you do feel something for me then?" Nathan asked hopefully as he turned on the spot and looked at me, seeing the sadness that was covering my face and the tears which were threatening to fall from my eyes.
"Yes Nathan, that kiss did mean something and it made me feel emotions that I hadn't felt in a long time. Simply because I shut all my feelings off and told myself I was never going to let myself feel them, but you've opened them all up again..."
"I'm sorry Nikki, I never meant to make you feel like this. It was just a spur of the moment thing and I didn't think something like this would happen. I only wanted to-"
"Nathan, it's fine, there's no need to explain yourself. Although it is funny when you do try and explain yourself because you never shut up." I laughed as I interrupted him before he could finish rambling on like an idiot.
"Sorry." he chuckled.
"And if you apologise once more than I'm going to slap you." I giggled as I walked over to where he was now standing, seeing that he had a slight smile on his face as he turned to look at me. I assume that I must have made him think differently; I must have given him the hope that there was a chance of something happening between me and him.
I placed my head on his chest and allowed him to place his arms around me, pulling me into a comforting hug at the same time; him resting his head on the top of mine. Just enjoying the silence which made this moment even more memorable.
I felt safe in his arms and, for the first time since I came here, I actually felt happy and like nothing could possibly go wrong for me.
But it wasn't meant to be like this.
It was never meant to be like this and this was never supposed to happen. That's what I had always told myself and I hadn't prepared myself for the day that something like this did happen.
I mean, I had already told Nathan, I didn't want anything other than friendship right now.
I never told people how which emotions I was feeling and, to tell Nathan that he brought out things in me that I hadn't felt in so long, was a big step for me.
He did need to appreciate that and realise I wasn't just going to accept everything as easily as it was given to me.
"I'm sorry for kissing you without giving you warning. It's just that I was really jealous and I thought that, if I didn't act, then I was going to lose you to Zayn." Nathan sighed as he began to rub small circles on my back with his free hand.
"I'm not complaining Nath. Sure, it was a shock, but it was a good kiss." I said, smiling to myself as I spoke.
"A good kiss? Is that all?" he laughed.
"Hm, I've had a lot better." I smirked to myself, taking a step back from Nathan and observing the shocked look on his face.
He might have been a good singer, but he was a really bad actor.
I could see that he was trying his best not to laugh at me, but he was failing miserably. The clear smirk on his face gave away that he wasn't really that shocked or hurt by what I had just told him.
"You better start running George..." he replied.
"And why is that?"
"Or I'm going to get you."
"Oh. I'm so scared of you!" I laughed before running into the house and closing the door behind me, shutting Nathan outside. All that I could hear was him complaining and banging on the front door, trying to make me let him in. But I was having none of it.
I was just going to enjoy the moment that I had in control.
I could pay consequences later.
But it was going to be worth it. Just for my own amusement.
*
"You still mad at me?" I laughed at Nathan as we stepped out of the taxi just around the corner from the O2. We were trying our best to avoid the screaming girls.
Nathan knew that they were there to see One Direction, but there were a lot of girls there that would give anything to have a picture with Nathan. Just to be able to say that they had met someone famous.
Shame that, tonight, he wasn't here for all of that.
He was just here because he didn't want to leave me alone with Zayn for too long and he didn't want to even think about what would happen if he didn't come with me tonight.
"You shut me out of the house for just over an hour and then broke my favourite mug. What do you think?" Nathan replied.
"I love you too Nath." I chuckled as he wrapped his arm around me, walking in the direction that Zayn had told us to go in order to meet him without being noticed by too many people.
"Thought you didn't feel anything for me and weren't going fall in love with me either." Nathan joked.
"I never said I was being serious. I just want you to forgive me!"
"I couldn't stay at mad at you, even if I wanted to. But you had better watch your back, I will get you back for this afternoon." Nathan laughed.
I loved that I could just have a laugh and a joke with him and there was no awkwardness between us. You could tell that we had known each other for a long time now because we could have a laugh and a joke all the time, we could even insult each other and still be talking to one and another at the end of it.
We were those kind of friends and I enjoyed it more than anything.
It was great knowing that I was able to be like that with someone and they would still be there for me.
Obviously, I got on with all the boys, but I had always got on better with Nathan. Ever since Max introduced me to the boys; it had always been Nathan that was there for me when I needed someone other than my brother to talk to, he was able to make me smile when no one else could and he would just listen to me when everyone else ignored me.
Until a year ago, I never even knew that he had feelings for me as anything other than a friend.
And, until today, I never even considered that I would like Nathan as anything more than a friend.
I guess time is great shower of truth.
"You love me too much to ever hurt me." I joked.
"Just you wait Nikki. Just you wait." he replied with a mischievous grin on his face, I knew that he meant business and wasn't going to give up easily. But I also knew that he would give something away and make this easy for me.
As we approached the O2, we could see Zayn walking towards us. Nathan moved closer to me and wrapped his arm even more protectively around me; his jealousy was more evident tonight than it had been any other night.
But that was understandable considering what had happened between us earlier in the day.
Just as long as they both kept their promises and didn't do anything to embarrass me, then tonight would go just as I had planned it to and there wouldn't be any issues.
Well, that's the plan anyway.
Whether it works or not is a whole different story.
*
Nathan's POV -
I promised Nikki that I wasn't going to cause any trouble tonight and I intended to keep that promise.
I wasn't going to get this far with everything and risk throwing it all away for the sake of one smart arse twat who thought he had the right to be all over Nikki after just a week.
Or however long it is that he's known her for.
So far, the evening had gone to plan and everything was going smoothly. Nikki seemed to be enjoying herself and having a good laugh, while I just sat there watching her have a good time.
I didn't especially want to be here, but what Nikki wants, Nikki generally gets.
"Nathan? Are you going to ignore me all night?" I heard Nikki ask as she waved her hand in the front of my face.
"Huh?" I replied.
"Were you listening to anything that I just said to you?" she sighed.
"Nope, sorry. Was in my own little world." I chuckled.
"We were just wondering how you were, that's all." I heard Liam say to me as he held back his laughter.
I didn't really see it was that funny, but there we go.
Each to their own.
"Yeah, I've been good thanks. And you?" I replied with a smile.
"Been alright, how are the other boys?" Liam asked, returning the smile in my direction.
"Oh you know, same old, same old." I laughed, I didn't really know what I was supposed to say.
"So Nikki, how come we didn't see you when your mum had her yearly 'family gathering' then?" Louis asked suddenly, deciding that he was going to change the topic of conversation and didn't care that me and Liam were already talking to each other.
"I just didn't feel like sitting in the same room as my parents and family that I don't really care about. No offence Liam, but you must know what I mean." Nikki laughed, trying to make up for the fact she had just said that she didn't care about someone who was part of her family, while he was sat right there.
Although, he didn't seem to mind. He just laughed along with her and saw the funny side of it.
Although, if I was her, then I wouldn't have wanted to spend time with her family either. After being forced to go three years in a row, you get used to the fact that the only reason her mum even has those things is to find out everyone's business.
I'm so excited for next year.
I've already written it into my diary, definitely going to make sure I'm there.
Event of the year.
"Yeah, we know what you mean. Your mum never stops talking." Harry laughed and it was true. Her mum always had something to say, although it was usually bragging about Max and what he had done; never about Nikki and what she had done.
"She's always got something to say, normally about Max though!" Nikki chuckled.
"We did notice that. Unless you know that you're part of that family, I don't think anyone knows you exist, do they?" Liam asked.
"Nope. Not even the paparazzi know I'm Max's sister, still waiting for them to find that one out."
"How much longer is there until the show?" I asked, interrupting their conversation because I'd had enough of listening to this crap now. I really wanted to get this over and done with, I wanted to go home and go to bed.
I'd rather be there now, than sat in this room with my four least people in the world.
I say four because I have no problem with Niall; he's a pretty decent guy to the other four and doesn't really do anything to cause trouble.
"Erm, we should be going now actually. Do you want to watch from right at the front or would you rather watch from the side?" Zayn smiled. I just wanted to punch that look of his face, show him that he was never going to have her because she was already mine and I had already told her how I feel.
I wanted to kiss Nikki, right now, just in front of them all, then they would get the message and leave her alone.
Wow.
I really was jealous when it came to Zayn. I know what Nikki means now, I really must learn to keep that under control when I'm out public.
"The side would be better please. Don't need the press taking anymore pictures of me and Nathan together." Nikki giggled, I was glad that she was having a good time, even if it was here and with this lot.
"Oh yeah. So, you looking forward to being a father then Nathan?" Louis said, clearly referring to the stories which had been printed in the newspapers today. They might have found it hilarious, but I really saw nothing funny in it.
"And how has your secret dating been going?" Harry added.
Understandably, Nikki was totally confused about what they were going on about.
She still hadn't seen the news and I hadn't a chance to tell her about it yet. They're not exactly the best stories that could be printed about me and Max's sister.
"Boys, you're on in ten minutes! Make your way to the stage please." someone, who I assumed was their manager, said as they poked their head around the door, looking around the room at all five guys who were sat there, nodding their head to show that they had listened to what they had been told.
"What are you going on about?" Nikki asked, breaking the silence which now filled the room.
"I'll explain later..." I sighed.
"Why not now?" she replied, as we waited behind for all of One Direction to leave the room. Obviously, Zayn was the last to leave and clearly thought that he had more of a chance than he actually did.
"I'll show you what was printed in the papers when we get home, don't let it ruin tonight. Especially when you're this happy." I smiled, wrapping me arm around her waist at the same time.
She didn't seem to mind that I was doing that, despite the fact we were out in public and there were people who could see us.
I guess, it's not all that bad.
"Thanks for this Nathan. I mean, for tonight and coming with me." Nikki smiled as she placed her head on my shoulder.
"There's no need to mention it. You know, I-"
"Right, you and Nathan will be standing here. You'll get a great view of everything here!" Zayn smiled, interrupting me so he could point at the spot we would be standing for the show.
I wasn't going to lie, it was a pretty decent spot and I would be able to see everything. At least we had the best seats in the house; would be seeing them at their best.
Well, that's what I thought anyway.
I'm sure I was going to be wrong.
"Look, are you sure this is alright?" Nikki asked.
"Yes, I'm sure. We'll be done before you know it." Zayn chuckled.
"I'm just making sure, I wouldn't want to get in the middle of anything."
"Nikki, will you stop worrying. I was the one that asked you to come, just enjoy the show." Zayn replied, giving her a reassuring rub on the arm, to which she just sent a friendly smile in his direction.
I felt my grip around her waist tighten, pulling her slightly closer to me as he touched her. I don't even know why I acted that way; it's just something that happened and it always had to happen at the worst points.
"Nathan?" Nikki smiled at me, removing my hand from my waist as she spoke.
"Sorry..." I muttered.
"You have really bad jealousy issues, don't you?" Zayn asked, smirking at me as he did so.
If I hadn't made the promise to behave and if I hadn't been in the same place as thousands of screaming fans, then I would have punched him and knocked that look off his face.
"Like I've said before. I'm not jealous and, even if I was, then there is nothing to be jealous of." I replied, not helping myself in the fact that I knew I was right.
"Shame your body language tells a different story." Zayn laughed.
"Shame you're wrong then. I'm not jealous of you or anything about you."
"Shame your-"
"Shut up, both of you. When I said I didn't want any trouble tonight, I meant that I didn't want any trouble tonight." Nikki snapped as she stepped in the middle of us, preventing us from saying anything else to each other.
"Sorry Nik." I mumbled.
"Yeah, sorry Nikki." Zayn stated straight afterwards.
"Just, go and do your show, I'll be watching from here. Have fun and show me how they party in London." Nikki joked pushing Zayn off in the direction of where he was supposed to be meeting the boys in order to get ready for the show. He sent her a smile and then disappeared into the distance, leaving just me, Nikki and the thousands of screaming fans who were waiting to see One Direction dominate the stage.
Nikki wasn't really looking at me, she was more amazed by the number of people who were seated in the arena.
She had never seen something like this, after spending all her time locked away in her room in Manchester. Not really seeing anything that there was to offer outside her own world that she had built up around herself, just to avoid anything that the real world had to offer.
Especially if it involved her getting hurt or having to admit the truth to herself.
She would do anything to make sure that never happened.
I'll just never really understand why.
Nikki's POV -
I was so busy observing the total number of people in the arena, that I didn't even notice that Nathan had appeared beside me until I felt his arm touch my shoulder.
"You seem really surprised by all this?" Nathan questioned with a slight laugh.
"I am surprised by it all. I mean, I've never seen so many people in one building, just to see one band." I chuckled, moving back into the shadows slightly to avoid being seen by someone in the crowd.
"Better get used to it, especially if you're going to be seeing more of us." Nathan laughed at me.
"Oh. So I'm going to be seeing more of you, am I?" I replied.
"Only if you want to, but it would be nice. I'll get see even more of you then..." he smirked and then added a cheeky wink, just for effect, before he moved closer to me. His touch leaving goose bumps behind and just the sound of his voice, which could only just be heard over the hoard of screaming girls, was making my heart beat right out of my chest.
It really was strange that he was making me feel like this; I didn't really know what I was supposed to do or how I was supposed to act.
I was sure that I felt something for him and, afterall, he did make me happy and he did spend more of him time protecting me than he did protecting himself.
Yet, I had also let my defences down and I had let my feelings for Nathan become known to him.
The one thing that I had prevented from happening for so long, had finally happened and I was completely clueless about what I should be doing in this situation.
"Are you sure you want me there? I might distract you and make you go completely wrong?"
"I'm sure I can control myself. Especially with your brother around and the amount of times he's warned me off you." Nathan replied as he placed his hands on my waist and pulled me even closer to his body.
"Guess my brother is just going to have to get it then, isn't he?" I chuckled, placing my arms around his neck.
I couldn't hide what I was feeling anymore, the emotions were too strong and I was tired of constantling to myself, just in the hope that I might actually be happy and I'd just be able to have the easy and simple life.
It was just pointless now and there was no point in carrying it on.
"Does this mean you're admitting your feelings for me then?" Nathan smiled.
"Yeah. I guess that it is what I mean, even if I can't physically say what I'm feeling, I do feel something for you. As much as I wish I didn't, you make me feel something I haven't felt in a very long time." I answered, looking into the bright green pools of happiness which Nathan had.
"And what's that?"
"Loved..." I grinned as I pressed my lips against Nathan's for the second time that day. They moved perfectly together and I couldn't help but smile to myself, it wasn't forced. It was something I'd thought about doing all day, it just so happened that this was the best time to carry out the actions.
Nathan's arms made their way around my back, pulling me closer to him as I began running my fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. Neither of us wanting to break away from the other because it was such a prefect moment. This was the first time since breaking up with Jake that I had opened my heart to someone and let me in.
It just confirmed everything that I had be considering all day.
I loved Nathan Sykes.