It's December thirtieth today. I drove for a while before I parked on the side of the highway, and decided that Heath and I both needed some rest.
I had remembered nothing from the night before. I don't remember having any nightmares or any knowledge of Heath knowing. I wasn't surprised when I find out. The same thing happened to me for a couple of months after Jack's death.
Me killing that guy just triggered everything again. It feels like I'm back where I had started. Weak and broken. Heath sees me and it's scaring me. I don't want his help. I have to do it on my own. I can't depend on someone, and then break again once they're gone. It's just not worth it.
I just have to pull myself together again, and just get out of this mess. I just wanna go back to campus, and sleep in my bed.
It's nine am, and I freshened up in the convenience store's washroom I drove to once I woke up. I don't know exactly where we are, but we should be in New York in an hour or two of driving from here. I'm currently in the store grabbing some milk to drink and mints for our breathes. Yeah, I know it's gross, but this is the next best thing.
After paying for the things, I head back to the car. On my way there I spot Heath standing outside of the car shirtless. I wonder what he has against shirts? I stand behind him as he stood with his arms resting on the car's roof. I clear my throat to get his attention.
He turns around obviously getting startled. "Oh." He says looking at me. I hand him a bottle of 'To Go' milk. "Thanks." He says.
"No problem." I state smiling. It felt really awkward exchanging just two words with him. What I didn't want to happened was exactly happening. He's treating me differently. He's treating me as if I'm broken. I don't want to be treated like that. It's constant reminder, and how will I ever move on, If his behaviour just keeps nagging at me.
He opens the cap and drinks the milk. I awkwardly stand there, and watch him do so. The sun was defining his abs so intensely my heart started to throb. I don't know what it is, but I feel so attracted to him. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. But he's Heath. The player. He doesn't stick with one girl. But people can change. Riley, he had sex with Kirsten on Christmas Eve. He's not going to change. I sigh. If we can't be more then friends then I really don't want my past ruining my friendship with him either. I sigh," Don't do this to me." My voice comes out shaky.
"Do what?" He asks his back towards me again.
"Treat me differently. I told you to forget." I state. I felt like my mind was going numb, and all I wanted to do was cry. Every mistake, torture, pain, feeling of sadness I've ever felt or had just wanted to burst out in a hurricane. But I knew better. Once a hurricane breaks out, it doesn't stop right away, and I can't handle that pain. Not right now. I have to stay on my game for the next few days.
He turns around to face me. His face full of shock and hurt. "How can you expect me to forget? I saw right through you from the day you came onto campus. And when I finally get close to figuring you out, how can you expect me to stop? Not everything happens you're way."
"I know it doesn't. I'm asking you to forget, because I won't be able to move on from whatever it is that's dragging me back to the past if you treat me like I'm broken. I don't know why you feel like you need to know, because we're just friends Heath. Nothing more. But sometimes less." I lightly say as I drop my head. I was too ashamed to look at his face. I knew what I just said was uncalled for, but I had to say it. If he can't stop caring about me on his own, then I need to push him to stop caring. Even if it means getting him to hate me.
After a minute or two," We need to-" he gets cut by a black SUV pulling into the parking in full speed. "Get in." Heath instructs. I look at the tension structured on his face. I look back at the SUV. The windows roll down, and all I can spot were the guns pointing right towards us. "Riley! Fucking get in!" I hear Heath from the drivers seat. When did he run to the other side?!
I get in just before hearing multiple ear blaring gun shots. My heart started to race. "They found us?!" I ask as Heath speeds onto the highway.
"Are you blind?! You can clearly see that they did!" He yells. I roll my eyes. I look back at the SUV right on our trail. "How long did we stop for?!" Heath asks not taking his eye's off the road.
"I don't know three hours. Maybe." I state hurriedly.
"What?! Why didn't you wake me?! I told you to fucking wake me up, if you got tired!"
"Don't yell at me! I thought we could both use some rest. We both need the same amount of energy to meet whoever we're going to fucking meet!" He cannot pin this on me. "Ah!" I yell as a bullet penetrates through the back glass.
The car stumbles onto the opposite side of the road, where the cars were going the other way. "Heath!" I shriek as a semi truck was right in front of us, coming at a hundred kilometres per hour. I close my eyes in anticipation of death.
I hear a loud horn. "Fucking dick." I hear Heath mumbles under his breath in anger. I open my eyes, and my jaw drops to the ground.
"Oh my god I'm alive." I sigh. Heath rolls his eyes. And I hear more bullets being shot.
"Riley." Heath says in all seriousness. I nervously look at him. "I need you to shoot back."
"Wh-what? I-I c-can't." I gulp. Having a gun on me is a whole different story then actually shooting one. I can't. What if I kill someone?
"Riley?! Riley!"
"Huh?" I ask. Man he is driving so fast. But not faster then my heart rate.
"Don't fucking get lost in your thoughts! Okay? I need you to do this. For us." Heath reaches in the cubby between the two front seats and takes out a gun. When did he put that in there? I gulp. He hands it to me, and I stare at it as if it sliced my hand in half. "Riley, please."
"I-I ugh!" I groan as the back of the car gets hit by a bullet.
"Riley you have to do this unless you want three instead one murder on your hands. If you don't do this you'll get both of us killed." My eyes widen in hurt. How could he get so low? I clench my jaw. Whatever I did, I did for him. How could I even think he would appreciate that for even a second? I wrap my hand around the gun. I lower my window all the way and sit down on the door. The wind caused my hair to whip in my face, so I quickly tied it back with my elastic. I ignore the people trying to shoot at me, and focus on my target.
I close my left eye and aim at their tire. Once I think it's on target I pull the trigger just before the sound of two guns getting triggered covers the air. "Ah!" I scream as my hand whips to my left shoulder. I was about to fall out of the car, but Heath caught my right hand and pulled me in. I sit down firmly holding my left shoulder. The bullet was rubbing against my bone. "He-Heath." I say. "D-did we-"
"Yeah, we lost them. Listen to me. You cannot sleep. Stay awake. Please."
"I-I do-don't know if I c-can." I say trying to force my eyes open. It felt like all the energy in my body was getting drained out of me.
"Riley, hey? Talk to me." Heath says softly. I turn my head to face him. Stress was plastered on his face.
"He-Heath?"
"Mm-hm?" He asks.
"I-I'm sorry." If I'm about to die that means I will break his promise. I needed to apologize for hurting him in anyway. I never wanted to. My life was full of ups, and downs. One mistake I will never, ever forgive myself for is letting Heath go. Being this close to death is making me regret my decisions. Will I have more time to fix my mistakes? A tear slips down my eyes.
"Ri-ley..." Was the last thing I heard.
A/N:
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