Jin laid Misook down on the bed and cuddled up next to her. He couldn't sleep. Suga was back, this could all finally go away. He sighed in relief. Maybe he could forget what he had done, like before. Just maybe. Except the last one wasn't even an accident. He had done it on purpose. He only had one thing on his mind, to destroy the guys on the other team, completely. He had pushed the knife through the guy's throat with no second thoughts. Misook whimpered loudly in her sleep. He looked over at her, she gasped and whimpered. He put a hand on her cheek. She calmed a little bit, but her eyes darted back and forth behind her eye lids. He felt like they were both like meteorites hitting an atmosphere. The more they continued on, the faster they broke apart.
Misook opened her eyes stiffly and looked over at him. The first words that came out of her mouth were:
"I want to die." He looked at her shocked,
"What?" He breathed. Why would she just say that?
"I want to die." She repeated calmly.
"Why? Misook..." He didn't know what to say.
"Because I don't want this. I wanted to choose who I have sex with okay?" She yelled angrily, tears streaming down her face. He felt like this wasn't the right thing to say, but it was something,
"It's just sex. People have plenty of it in their life."
"Yeah but they get to choose that! I didn't get a f**king choice." She sobbed. He grabbed her and pulled her into his chest. He thought about what he had done before speaking,
"I know. But sometimes it's worse if you get the choice, you could make the wrong one."
She gripped the fabric of his shirt tightly and screamed in frustration.
"I want to die." She whimpered.
"No you don't." He sighed.
"Why not?" She sobbed.
"Because I've seen death. I've caused it. You don't want it. The look in their eyes, the fact that they'll never see their friends or family again. The fact that they won't be on this earth anymore. The fact that I did that. They way they go pale. They way they go cold. The fear. You don't want it. And I'm not letting you." He finished, barely audible and shaking. What was wrong with him? He had done that? Willingly? What the f**k.
"I won't do it. But I want to." She whispered stubbornly. He hugged her tighter,
"Don't leave me." He pleaded. She nodded slowly. He was afraid. He was terrified. They were meteorites, spiraling into earth, breaking apart in the atmosphere.
And he was deadly afraid of landing.